Rub


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.
                
            

            
            
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Life, Smooth, and Target: THE PERSDN WHo DISCOVERED SHARkS
 PRANSON REESE
 I AM G0IN 6
 INTO THE
 BIG WETNESS.
 SMooTH
 LIONS ARE
 EATING ME.
maetyu-y:
bransonreese:


aurora-gleam:


slangwang:

bransonreese:

crystallotusfr:


bransonreese:

serpentking456:


notcaycepollard:

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how β€œsmooth” sharks really are. 


Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

But buddy.


Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the sharkΒ swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough likeΒ sandpaper. 
((Here m8Β https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basicsΒ ))


Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?


this post is transcendent 


You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.
Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST


No, I’m thinking of sharks.
Source: I’m a superior marine biologist



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Life, Smooth, and Target: THE PERSDN WHo DISCOVERED SHARkS
 PRANSON REESE
 I AM G0IN 6
 INTO THE
 BIG WETNESS.
 SMooTH
 LIONS ARE
 EATING ME.
maetyu-y:
bransonreese:


aurora-gleam:


slangwang:

bransonreese:

crystallotusfr:


bransonreese:

serpentking456:


notcaycepollard:

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how β€œsmooth” sharks really are. 


Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

But buddy.


Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the sharkΒ swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough likeΒ sandpaper. 
((Here m8Β https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basicsΒ ))


Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?


this post is transcendent 


You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.
Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST


No, I’m thinking of sharks.
Source: I’m a superior marine biologist



                
            

            
            
maetyu-y:
bransonreese:


aurora-gleam:


slangwang:

bransonreese:

crystallotusfr:


bransonreese:

serpentking456:


notcaycepollard:

th...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Life, Smooth, and Tumblr: THE PERSDN WHo DISCOVERED SHARkS
 PRANSON REESE
 I AM G0IN 6
 INTO THE
 BIG WETNESS.
 SMooTH
 LIONS ARE
 EATING ME.
goatyellsateverything:

maetyu-y:
bransonreese:


aurora-gleam:


slangwang:

bransonreese:

crystallotusfr:


bransonreese:

serpentking456:


notcaycepollard:

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how β€œsmooth” sharks really are. 


Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

But buddy.


Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the sharkΒ swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough likeΒ sandpaper. 
((Here m8Β https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basicsΒ ))


Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?


this post is transcendent 


You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.
Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST


No, I’m thinking of sharks.
Source: I’m a superior marine biologist





This keeps getting better and better
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Life, Smooth, and Tumblr: THE PERSDN WHo DISCOVERED SHARkS
 PRANSON REESE
 I AM G0IN 6
 INTO THE
 BIG WETNESS.
 SMooTH
 LIONS ARE
 EATING ME.
goatyellsateverything:

maetyu-y:
bransonreese:


aurora-gleam:


slangwang:

bransonreese:

crystallotusfr:


bransonreese:

serpentking456:


notcaycepollard:

the twitter thread the artist created after this was one of the best situations i have ever seen in my whole life:

Somebody give this ignoramus a piece of actual shark skin and tell him to rub his face with it, let him find out just how β€œsmooth” sharks really are. 


Somebody did. I use it as a pillowcase because it’s so smooth.

But buddy.


Shark skin feels exactly like sandpaper. It is made up of tiny teeth-like structures called placoid scales, also known as dermal denticles. These scales point towards the tail and help to reduce friction from surrounding water when the sharkΒ swims. … In the opposite direction, it feels very rough likeΒ sandpaper. 
((Here m8Β https://www.floridamuseum.ufl.edu/fish/discover/sharks/basicsΒ ))


Buddy. It’s smooth. The link you sent me led to a website that described how smooth they are. I dunno, maybe you don’t know how to read?


this post is transcendent 


You’re thinking of dolphins. Dolphins are the ones with smooth skin that feels like a rubber beach ball.
Source: I’M A MARINE BIOLOGIST


No, I’m thinking of sharks.
Source: I’m a superior marine biologist





This keeps getting better and better
                
            

            
            
goatyellsateverything:

maetyu-y:
bransonreese:


aurora-gleam:


slangwang:

bransonreese:

crystallotusfr:


bransonreese:

serpentking456...