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Anaconda, Beer, and Bless Up: This is Ralph. It's his first time out in public. 11/10 good boy Reddit u/aaronr93 @DrSmashlove A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Brothers coffee, 2 lb. bag, $17.99. This isht right HERE, bruv? This is one of them joints that pay for the membership itself. Do me a favor and go to whole food. A 12 ounce bag run u $12.99. Here go THIRTY TWO OUNCES for $17.99. I feel like I won the lotto every time I buy this. U will need a grinder but that’s light work - TREAT YOSELF. (2) Ito En sencha and matcha tea bags. You get 100 wrapped tea bags. Brew the sencha and then add milk and honey and then empty the matcha from the bag on top. BLAM. U a barista now. Have a lil lady over like “aye baby u want a fresh ground Two Brothers latte - it’s a local beer brewery that happens to make killer coffee - or do u want a green tea latte made with the realeast authentic green tea from Japan?” She gon look at u and a single tear will form in her eye. He ex used to drag her a$$ to Starbucks, order a $5 drink, and then pat his own body down like he the police and make HER pay for HIS coffee talmbout “I forgot my wallet baby I’ll get you next.” Now YOU hand-crafting her morning beverage from scratch. You upgrading HER off of that COSTCO flex. JEW HEARD!! 🤫😍😂 (3) MyMo mochi balls (18 pcs). One tray has six - perfect for Netflix and chill at the end of a long week. “But smash, that’s only three mochis per person(?) My girl like to eat.” BIH. I SHARE MY COFFEE + TEA. NOT MY MOCHI. I NETFLIX AND CHILL MYSELF AND FOCUS ON THE PLOT. SHE GOTTA GET HER OWN “oush cream” *michelle tanner from full house voice* FAWKUMEAN 😂. (4) Siggi’s yogurt. Siggi’s is made the Iceland way. Like the Cheeto said, “why can’t we get more immigrants from countries like Norway?” BECAUSE U BRAINDEAD MORON THEY DONT WANNA COME TO THIS SH!THOLE COUNTRY THAT ELECTED YOU 😂. This is natural skyr yogurt that taste sweet + wondrous like the Nani of a comely, tall blond Icelandic woman wearing only fur boots, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that vaguely sound German but mostly like gibberish. Now u too can COSTCO flex. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
Anaconda, Beer, and Bless Up: This is Ralph. It's his first time out in
 public. 11/10 good boy
 Reddit u/aaronr93
 @DrSmashlove
A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Brothers coffee, 2 lb. bag, $17.99. This isht right HERE, bruv? This is one of them joints that pay for the membership itself. Do me a favor and go to whole food. A 12 ounce bag run u $12.99. Here go THIRTY TWO OUNCES for $17.99. I feel like I won the lotto every time I buy this. U will need a grinder but that’s light work - TREAT YOSELF. (2) Ito En sencha and matcha tea bags. You get 100 wrapped tea bags. Brew the sencha and then add milk and honey and then empty the matcha from the bag on top. BLAM. U a barista now. Have a lil lady over like “aye baby u want a fresh ground Two Brothers latte - it’s a local beer brewery that happens to make killer coffee - or do u want a green tea latte made with the realeast authentic green tea from Japan?” She gon look at u and a single tear will form in her eye. He ex used to drag her a$$ to Starbucks, order a $5 drink, and then pat his own body down like he the police and make HER pay for HIS coffee talmbout “I forgot my wallet baby I’ll get you next.” Now YOU hand-crafting her morning beverage from scratch. You upgrading HER off of that COSTCO flex. JEW HEARD!! 🤫😍😂 (3) MyMo mochi balls (18 pcs). One tray has six - perfect for Netflix and chill at the end of a long week. “But smash, that’s only three mochis per person(?) My girl like to eat.” BIH. I SHARE MY COFFEE + TEA. NOT MY MOCHI. I NETFLIX AND CHILL MYSELF AND FOCUS ON THE PLOT. SHE GOTTA GET HER OWN “oush cream” *michelle tanner from full house voice* FAWKUMEAN 😂. (4) Siggi’s yogurt. Siggi’s is made the Iceland way. Like the Cheeto said, “why can’t we get more immigrants from countries like Norway?” BECAUSE U BRAINDEAD MORON THEY DONT WANNA COME TO THIS SH!THOLE COUNTRY THAT ELECTED YOU 😂. This is natural skyr yogurt that taste sweet + wondrous like the Nani of a comely, tall blond Icelandic woman wearing only fur boots, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that vaguely sound German but mostly like gibberish. Now u too can COSTCO flex. Bless up 😍😂😂😂

A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Bro...

Ass, Bill Cosby, and Bitch: dm Ro Can I get to kno yu 6 hours ago Sent from Mobile Jamal Thomas I'm a boy 6 hours ago Jdm Rog Ohh 6 hours ago Sent from Messenger Jamal Thomas Yea nigga you gay. What bitch you know named Jamal 6 hours ago *me in my creative writing class* *slowly falling asleep* *out cold* “TEROME!” *I quickly wake up* *the whole class is looking at me* “Would you like to share what’s on your paper since you were obviously finished.” The teacher says. *i look down at my paper* *gulp* “Uhhhhhh, Id rather not.” I say. “Frankly you have no choice. Please stand and read your paper aloud to the class.” *fuck this nigga* *i stand up* *i begin to read* “‘Man, fuck this class bruh. This monotone ass teacher be putting us all to sleep word to Bill Cosby. Why he built like the letter T? Nigga skipped leg day since birth. Only thing good about this class is the females yo. Samira over there got the FATTEST ass. Shit got its own gravitational pull.’” *sweating intensifies* “‘Angela over there got the meanest overbite. She look like her mom was a slave and her dad was a horse. She prolly give some life-threatening head though. But the baddest bitch in this whole class was Mr. G’s wife. I be staring at that picture of her on his desk and just be drooling and shit. Her titties look like 2 healthy balloons. It’s something bout that MILF next door word to @lilboom. I’d break her 43 year old back in a heart beat. Make Mr. G pay for her hip replacements.’” *dabs forehead with towel* “‘Then there’s this bitch Sara. On God I’d hire Randy Orton to RKO her ass off a cliff if I could. I bet she eat celery with no ranch. Why she built like a 4th grader with a decent fashion sense. Nah scratch that, this bitch got on some beat up Converse and a Twenty One Pilots shirt. I should deck her shit right now.’” *takes a sip of water* “‘All the dudes in this class lame too. This nigga Paul next to me sagging in his chair. First of all, who the fuck sags anymore. Tempted to give this nigga a mega wedgie word to Captain Underpants. Damn I haven’t seen a Captain Underpants book in a while. Wasn’t there a movie about that shit? I’m rambling though. Damn I’m almost at the bottom of the page. Lemme say one more thing then. If I’m forced to read this aloud then I’m swallowing the cyanide pill in my tooth right afterwards.’” *i put the notebook down* “Wait, you’ll do what?” The teacher says. Cya(nide). ttstorytime
Ass, Bill Cosby, and Bitch: dm Ro
 Can I get to kno yu
 6 hours ago Sent from Mobile
 Jamal Thomas
 I'm a boy
 6 hours ago
 Jdm Rog
 Ohh
 6 hours ago Sent from Messenger
 Jamal Thomas
 Yea nigga you gay. What bitch you know
 named Jamal
 6 hours ago
*me in my creative writing class* *slowly falling asleep* *out cold* “TEROME!” *I quickly wake up* *the whole class is looking at me* “Would you like to share what’s on your paper since you were obviously finished.” The teacher says. *i look down at my paper* *gulp* “Uhhhhhh, Id rather not.” I say. “Frankly you have no choice. Please stand and read your paper aloud to the class.” *fuck this nigga* *i stand up* *i begin to read* “‘Man, fuck this class bruh. This monotone ass teacher be putting us all to sleep word to Bill Cosby. Why he built like the letter T? Nigga skipped leg day since birth. Only thing good about this class is the females yo. Samira over there got the FATTEST ass. Shit got its own gravitational pull.’” *sweating intensifies* “‘Angela over there got the meanest overbite. She look like her mom was a slave and her dad was a horse. She prolly give some life-threatening head though. But the baddest bitch in this whole class was Mr. G’s wife. I be staring at that picture of her on his desk and just be drooling and shit. Her titties look like 2 healthy balloons. It’s something bout that MILF next door word to @lilboom. I’d break her 43 year old back in a heart beat. Make Mr. G pay for her hip replacements.’” *dabs forehead with towel* “‘Then there’s this bitch Sara. On God I’d hire Randy Orton to RKO her ass off a cliff if I could. I bet she eat celery with no ranch. Why she built like a 4th grader with a decent fashion sense. Nah scratch that, this bitch got on some beat up Converse and a Twenty One Pilots shirt. I should deck her shit right now.’” *takes a sip of water* “‘All the dudes in this class lame too. This nigga Paul next to me sagging in his chair. First of all, who the fuck sags anymore. Tempted to give this nigga a mega wedgie word to Captain Underpants. Damn I haven’t seen a Captain Underpants book in a while. Wasn’t there a movie about that shit? I’m rambling though. Damn I’m almost at the bottom of the page. Lemme say one more thing then. If I’m forced to read this aloud then I’m swallowing the cyanide pill in my tooth right afterwards.’” *i put the notebook down* “Wait, you’ll do what?” The teacher says. Cya(nide). ttstorytime

*me in my creative writing class* *slowly falling asleep* *out cold* “TEROME!” *I quickly wake up* *the whole class is looking at me* “Would...

Bad, Fake, and Family: Woman Wins $5 Million After Accidentally Getting Wrong Lotto Ticket @balleralert NEW YORK nylottery.org nyl nylottery.org O Gamin Commission or PAY SET FOR LIFE SCRATCH-OFF Woman Wins $5 Million After Accidentally Getting Wrong Lotto Ticket-Blogged by @tktrinidad ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The year started off right for Oksana Zaharov from New Jersey. She was shopping in Manhattan and went to buy a $1 New York lottery scratch-off ticket, however, the cashier mistakenly gave her a $10 Set For Life ticket, instead. Thankfully, Zaharov had some extra cash and decided to buy the ticket anyway. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “When the clerk handed me the wrong ticket I felt bad, so I decided to just go ahead and buy it. I actually used the ticket as a bookmark for a couple weeks before I decided to scratch it,” Zaharov said in a press release. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Well, it was Zaharov’s (who is a mother of two) lucky day because the ticket earned her a winning of $5 million to be given to her over 20 years. To make it even better, she also gets a net sum of $172,068 for the rest of her existence. “I never win anything. I was sure the ticket was fake. It wasn’t until I brought it into the office that I knew it was for real.” she said. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now Zaharov can buy a few more bookmarks. With her winnings, she plans to take her family on vacation to the Bahamas and make sure her kids' education is completely covered.
Bad, Fake, and Family: Woman Wins $5 Million After
 Accidentally Getting Wrong Lotto
 Ticket
 @balleralert
 NEW
 YORK
 nylottery.org
 nyl
 nylottery.org
 O Gamin
 Commission
 or
 PAY
 SET FOR LIFE
 SCRATCH-OFF
Woman Wins $5 Million After Accidentally Getting Wrong Lotto Ticket-Blogged by @tktrinidad ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The year started off right for Oksana Zaharov from New Jersey. She was shopping in Manhattan and went to buy a $1 New York lottery scratch-off ticket, however, the cashier mistakenly gave her a $10 Set For Life ticket, instead. Thankfully, Zaharov had some extra cash and decided to buy the ticket anyway. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ “When the clerk handed me the wrong ticket I felt bad, so I decided to just go ahead and buy it. I actually used the ticket as a bookmark for a couple weeks before I decided to scratch it,” Zaharov said in a press release. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Well, it was Zaharov’s (who is a mother of two) lucky day because the ticket earned her a winning of $5 million to be given to her over 20 years. To make it even better, she also gets a net sum of $172,068 for the rest of her existence. “I never win anything. I was sure the ticket was fake. It wasn’t until I brought it into the office that I knew it was for real.” she said. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Now Zaharov can buy a few more bookmarks. With her winnings, she plans to take her family on vacation to the Bahamas and make sure her kids' education is completely covered.

Woman Wins $5 Million After Accidentally Getting Wrong Lotto Ticket-Blogged by @tktrinidad ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The year started off right for Ok...

Family, Goals, and Life: I DONT HAVE NEW YEARS RESOLUTION I HAVE A DETAILED PLAN MILLIONAIRE MENTOR 2018 is around the corner and I’m sure many of you haven’t scratch off a single thing of your 2017 list. And yes, it pisses me off because many people are looking for “Change” but aren’t doing sh*t to make it happen. - Do you have a plan for your life? Stop focusing on a “new year’s resolution” and start focusing on a life resolution, a life PLAN. If you’re like most people, you feel like you can’t get time enough to get ahead of the game. You spend most days just trying to react quick enough to keep your job, your family, and your marriage afloat. The good news is that there is time for change 😉 In order to move forward and progress in life, we must have vision, but we also need a way to implement that vision so it can come to pass. That means we need to create a plan. Whether you’re managing a business or a family, you can’t move forward or reach goals unless you have a plan. A plan brings organization, stability, clarity, and focus. A plan will keep everyone moving in the same direction so that goals can be reached, and the vision can be fulfilled. If you don’t have a plan, you’ll be stuck in maintenance mode, running in circles, and you’ll never increase. - The vision is your destination, and the plan is the roadmap to get you there. 🔥 Take time to establish a plan for your business, your family, and your life. What steps can you take to accomplish the vision in your heart for your business, your family, and your life? (Comment below!👇) Get your *ss to work! - vision plan success millionairementor
Family, Goals, and Life: I DONT HAVE NEW YEARS RESOLUTION
 I HAVE A DETAILED PLAN
 MILLIONAIRE MENTOR
2018 is around the corner and I’m sure many of you haven’t scratch off a single thing of your 2017 list. And yes, it pisses me off because many people are looking for “Change” but aren’t doing sh*t to make it happen. - Do you have a plan for your life? Stop focusing on a “new year’s resolution” and start focusing on a life resolution, a life PLAN. If you’re like most people, you feel like you can’t get time enough to get ahead of the game. You spend most days just trying to react quick enough to keep your job, your family, and your marriage afloat. The good news is that there is time for change 😉 In order to move forward and progress in life, we must have vision, but we also need a way to implement that vision so it can come to pass. That means we need to create a plan. Whether you’re managing a business or a family, you can’t move forward or reach goals unless you have a plan. A plan brings organization, stability, clarity, and focus. A plan will keep everyone moving in the same direction so that goals can be reached, and the vision can be fulfilled. If you don’t have a plan, you’ll be stuck in maintenance mode, running in circles, and you’ll never increase. - The vision is your destination, and the plan is the roadmap to get you there. 🔥 Take time to establish a plan for your business, your family, and your life. What steps can you take to accomplish the vision in your heart for your business, your family, and your life? (Comment below!👇) Get your *ss to work! - vision plan success millionairementor

2018 is around the corner and I’m sure many of you haven’t scratch off a single thing of your 2017 list. And yes, it pisses me off because m...