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    Apple, Facebook, and Football: tibets
 Reporter wears grape costume to defend
 boy suspended for banana suit
captain-price-official:

shatterstag:

gaymergirls:

basedheisenberg:

Real recognizes real.


I finally got curious and decided to google this story, and the headline is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Let it never be said again that journalism is a humorless business.
Covering an odd tale about a 14-year-old autistic boy who was handcuffed by police and suspended for running down the sidelines of a high school football game at halftime wearing a banana costume, Washington, D.C. reporter Pat Collins donned a grape suit and went out to get his story.
Speaking to Bryan Thompson, who pulled the prank on Sept. 14 and found himself at the center of a controversy over the school’s response, Collins’ sarcastic outrage seemed palpable.
“School officials accused him of being disruptive and disrespectful,” Collins said. “Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
He asked the student: “Why a banana? Why not a … grape?”
“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”
Following the prank, Colonial Forge High School Principal Karen Spillman suspended Thompson for 10 days, and even recommended that he be kicked out of school for the entire year.
Shortly thereafter, Thompson had composed his own rap song about the incident (called “Free Banana Man!”), set up a Facebook page dedicated to “Banana Man,” and someone even launched a petition calling for his suspension to be lifted.
Thompson’s outrage at the punishment was shared by his fellow students, who began creating yellow t-shirts that read, “Free Banana Man!”
So the school did what schools so often do when their authority is challenged: they banned the shirts, began confiscating them, and sent students to detention for supporting their classmate.
That’s when the American Civil Liberties Union got involved, telling the principal that her actions were unconstitutional.
“But when you think about it, you might see [the school’s] point,” Collins jokingly concluded. “It starts with a banana. Then, all of the sudden, you have an apple, and an orange, and maybe a grape! And before you know it, you have fruit salad in the schools! We can’t have that.”
The school’s principal was ultimately forced to resign, and Thompson has since returned to his studies. [x]


NICE



“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Facebook, and Football: tibets
 Reporter wears grape costume to defend
 boy suspended for banana suit
captain-price-official:

shatterstag:

gaymergirls:

basedheisenberg:

Real recognizes real.


I finally got curious and decided to google this story, and the headline is just the tip of the iceberg. 

Let it never be said again that journalism is a humorless business.
Covering an odd tale about a 14-year-old autistic boy who was handcuffed by police and suspended for running down the sidelines of a high school football game at halftime wearing a banana costume, Washington, D.C. reporter Pat Collins donned a grape suit and went out to get his story.
Speaking to Bryan Thompson, who pulled the prank on Sept. 14 and found himself at the center of a controversy over the school’s response, Collins’ sarcastic outrage seemed palpable.
“School officials accused him of being disruptive and disrespectful,” Collins said. “Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”
He asked the student: “Why a banana? Why not a … grape?”
“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”
Following the prank, Colonial Forge High School Principal Karen Spillman suspended Thompson for 10 days, and even recommended that he be kicked out of school for the entire year.
Shortly thereafter, Thompson had composed his own rap song about the incident (called “Free Banana Man!”), set up a Facebook page dedicated to “Banana Man,” and someone even launched a petition calling for his suspension to be lifted.
Thompson’s outrage at the punishment was shared by his fellow students, who began creating yellow t-shirts that read, “Free Banana Man!”
So the school did what schools so often do when their authority is challenged: they banned the shirts, began confiscating them, and sent students to detention for supporting their classmate.
That’s when the American Civil Liberties Union got involved, telling the principal that her actions were unconstitutional.
“But when you think about it, you might see [the school’s] point,” Collins jokingly concluded. “It starts with a banana. Then, all of the sudden, you have an apple, and an orange, and maybe a grape! And before you know it, you have fruit salad in the schools! We can’t have that.”
The school’s principal was ultimately forced to resign, and Thompson has since returned to his studies. [x]


NICE



“I don’t know,” Thompson replied. “Potassium is great.”



                
            

            
            
captain-price-official:

shatterstag:

gaymergirls:

basedheisenberg:

Real recognizes real.


I finally got curious and decided to google t...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Apple, Children, and Target: Aa
 Indisputable Locations Check-in
 with Your unique Touch & Face ID
 220 Miles
 from nearest target
 Sept.
 223 24 525t
 Kearny M
 CLAIREMONT
 YPRB89
 MYF
 ACIFIC
 EACH
 C airemont
 era Shores
 nda Vista
 Bay Park
 Taliwarerict
 MISSION
 VALLEY
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS app designed for Touch ID or Face 
ID, which provides secure access to time-stamped location data for 
continuous proof of presence and identity. Taliware will go “live” with 
its geo-presence app-services for iOS devices at StartupGrind in Redwood
 City, California.Taliware developed its patented system to 
offer identity theft and fraud protection for consumers and businesses. 
The newly launched application combines geolocation and biometric 
technologies that confirm the user’s physical location and identity 
using either Touch ID or Face ID as a biometric verification of identity
 while at a specific geolocation. Taliware delivers biometrics-based 
geolocation signature technology designed to provide persistent 
authentication and an indisputable proof of both identity and place.While
 there are many geolocation tracking applications, none have the same 
capacity to create an indisputable time-stamped location history. 
Because every check-in is tied to a user’s biometrics, there’s never 
question of whether a check-in was valid. Taliware’s patented technology
 ensures validity.“Taliware’s biometric geo-presence technology 
securely tethers each person to their smartphone and exact location, 
thus making their check-in history definite,” states Tarik Tali, CEO of 
Taliware. “All user date is safely stored on the mobile device, it is 
never available to anyone but the authenticated user.”Who uses 
Taliware? Taliware’s biometric geo-presence systems are designed to 
provide persistent authentication and an uncompromising proof of 
identity with endless use case possibilities. Whether used for 
children’s safety, to track employees, or to provide court-based 
evidence, Taliware’s impact potential is far-reaching.Free trials on Apple App Store.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Children, and Target: Aa
 Indisputable Locations Check-in
 with Your unique Touch & Face ID
 220 Miles
 from nearest target
 Sept.
 223 24 525t
 Kearny M
 CLAIREMONT
 YPRB89
 MYF
 ACIFIC
 EACH
 C airemont
 era Shores
 nda Vista
 Bay Park
 Taliwarerict
 MISSION
 VALLEY
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS app designed for Touch ID or Face 
ID, which provides secure access to time-stamped location data for 
continuous proof of presence and identity. Taliware will go “live” with 
its geo-presence app-services for iOS devices at StartupGrind in Redwood
 City, California.Taliware developed its patented system to 
offer identity theft and fraud protection for consumers and businesses. 
The newly launched application combines geolocation and biometric 
technologies that confirm the user’s physical location and identity 
using either Touch ID or Face ID as a biometric verification of identity
 while at a specific geolocation. Taliware delivers biometrics-based 
geolocation signature technology designed to provide persistent 
authentication and an indisputable proof of both identity and place.While
 there are many geolocation tracking applications, none have the same 
capacity to create an indisputable time-stamped location history. 
Because every check-in is tied to a user’s biometrics, there’s never 
question of whether a check-in was valid. Taliware’s patented technology
 ensures validity.“Taliware’s biometric geo-presence technology 
securely tethers each person to their smartphone and exact location, 
thus making their check-in history definite,” states Tarik Tali, CEO of 
Taliware. “All user date is safely stored on the mobile device, it is 
never available to anyone but the authenticated user.”Who uses 
Taliware? Taliware’s biometric geo-presence systems are designed to 
provide persistent authentication and an uncompromising proof of 
identity with endless use case possibilities. Whether used for 
children’s safety, to track employees, or to provide court-based 
evidence, Taliware’s impact potential is far-reaching.Free trials on Apple App Store.


                
            

            
            
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Apple, Children, and Target: Aa
 Indisputable Locations Check-in
 with Your unique Touch & Face ID
 220 Miles
 from nearest target
 Sept.
 223 24 525t
 Kearny M
 CLAIREMONT
 YPRB89
 MYF
 ACIFIC
 EACH
 C airemont
 era Shores
 nda Vista
 Bay Park
 Taliwarerict
 MISSION
 VALLEY
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS app designed for Touch ID or Face 
ID, which provides secure access to time-stamped location data for 
continuous proof of presence and identity. Taliware will go “live” with 
its geo-presence app-services for iOS devices at StartupGrind in Redwood
 City, California.Taliware developed its patented system to 
offer identity theft and fraud protection for consumers and businesses. 
The newly launched application combines geolocation and biometric 
technologies that confirm the user’s physical location and identity 
using either Touch ID or Face ID as a biometric verification of identity
 while at a specific geolocation. Taliware delivers biometrics-based 
geolocation signature technology designed to provide persistent 
authentication and an indisputable proof of both identity and place.While
 there are many geolocation tracking applications, none have the same 
capacity to create an indisputable time-stamped location history. 
Because every check-in is tied to a user’s biometrics, there’s never 
question of whether a check-in was valid. Taliware’s patented technology
 ensures validity.“Taliware’s biometric geo-presence technology 
securely tethers each person to their smartphone and exact location, 
thus making their check-in history definite,” states Tarik Tali, CEO of 
Taliware. “All user date is safely stored on the mobile device, it is 
never available to anyone but the authenticated user.”Who uses 
Taliware? Taliware’s biometric geo-presence systems are designed to 
provide persistent authentication and an uncompromising proof of 
identity with endless use case possibilities. Whether used for 
children’s safety, to track employees, or to provide court-based 
evidence, Taliware’s impact potential is far-reaching.Free trials on Apple App Store.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Children, and Target: Aa
 Indisputable Locations Check-in
 with Your unique Touch & Face ID
 220 Miles
 from nearest target
 Sept.
 223 24 525t
 Kearny M
 CLAIREMONT
 YPRB89
 MYF
 ACIFIC
 EACH
 C airemont
 era Shores
 nda Vista
 Bay Park
 Taliwarerict
 MISSION
 VALLEY
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS app designed for Touch ID or Face 
ID, which provides secure access to time-stamped location data for 
continuous proof of presence and identity. Taliware will go “live” with 
its geo-presence app-services for iOS devices at StartupGrind in Redwood
 City, California.Taliware developed its patented system to 
offer identity theft and fraud protection for consumers and businesses. 
The newly launched application combines geolocation and biometric 
technologies that confirm the user’s physical location and identity 
using either Touch ID or Face ID as a biometric verification of identity
 while at a specific geolocation. Taliware delivers biometrics-based 
geolocation signature technology designed to provide persistent 
authentication and an indisputable proof of both identity and place.While
 there are many geolocation tracking applications, none have the same 
capacity to create an indisputable time-stamped location history. 
Because every check-in is tied to a user’s biometrics, there’s never 
question of whether a check-in was valid. Taliware’s patented technology
 ensures validity.“Taliware’s biometric geo-presence technology 
securely tethers each person to their smartphone and exact location, 
thus making their check-in history definite,” states Tarik Tali, CEO of 
Taliware. “All user date is safely stored on the mobile device, it is 
never available to anyone but the authenticated user.”Who uses 
Taliware? Taliware’s biometric geo-presence systems are designed to 
provide persistent authentication and an uncompromising proof of 
identity with endless use case possibilities. Whether used for 
children’s safety, to track employees, or to provide court-based 
evidence, Taliware’s impact potential is far-reaching.Free trials on Apple App Store.


                
            

            
            
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Apple, Children, and Target: Aa
 Indisputable Locations Check-in
 with Your unique Touch & Face ID
 220 Miles
 from nearest target
 Sept.
 223 24 525t
 Kearny M
 CLAIREMONT
 YPRB89
 MYF
 ACIFIC
 EACH
 C airemont
 era Shores
 nda Vista
 Bay Park
 Taliwarerict
 MISSION
 VALLEY
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS app designed for Touch ID or Face 
ID, which provides secure access to time-stamped location data for 
continuous proof of presence and identity. Taliware will go “live” with 
its geo-presence app-services for iOS devices at StartupGrind in Redwood
 City, California.Taliware developed its patented system to 
offer identity theft and fraud protection for consumers and businesses. 
The newly launched application combines geolocation and biometric 
technologies that confirm the user’s physical location and identity 
using either Touch ID or Face ID as a biometric verification of identity
 while at a specific geolocation. Taliware delivers biometrics-based 
geolocation signature technology designed to provide persistent 
authentication and an indisputable proof of both identity and place.While
 there are many geolocation tracking applications, none have the same 
capacity to create an indisputable time-stamped location history. 
Because every check-in is tied to a user’s biometrics, there’s never 
question of whether a check-in was valid. Taliware’s patented technology
 ensures validity.“Taliware’s biometric geo-presence technology 
securely tethers each person to their smartphone and exact location, 
thus making their check-in history definite,” states Tarik Tali, CEO of 
Taliware. “All user date is safely stored on the mobile device, it is 
never available to anyone but the authenticated user.”Who uses 
Taliware? Taliware’s biometric geo-presence systems are designed to 
provide persistent authentication and an uncompromising proof of 
identity with endless use case possibilities. Whether used for 
children’s safety, to track employees, or to provide court-based 
evidence, Taliware’s impact potential is far-reaching.Free trials on Apple App Store.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apple, Children, and Target: Aa
 Indisputable Locations Check-in
 with Your unique Touch & Face ID
 220 Miles
 from nearest target
 Sept.
 223 24 525t
 Kearny M
 CLAIREMONT
 YPRB89
 MYF
 ACIFIC
 EACH
 C airemont
 era Shores
 nda Vista
 Bay Park
 Taliwarerict
 MISSION
 VALLEY
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS app designed for Touch ID or Face 
ID, which provides secure access to time-stamped location data for 
continuous proof of presence and identity. Taliware will go “live” with 
its geo-presence app-services for iOS devices at StartupGrind in Redwood
 City, California.Taliware developed its patented system to 
offer identity theft and fraud protection for consumers and businesses. 
The newly launched application combines geolocation and biometric 
technologies that confirm the user’s physical location and identity 
using either Touch ID or Face ID as a biometric verification of identity
 while at a specific geolocation. Taliware delivers biometrics-based 
geolocation signature technology designed to provide persistent 
authentication and an indisputable proof of both identity and place.While
 there are many geolocation tracking applications, none have the same 
capacity to create an indisputable time-stamped location history. 
Because every check-in is tied to a user’s biometrics, there’s never 
question of whether a check-in was valid. Taliware’s patented technology
 ensures validity.“Taliware’s biometric geo-presence technology 
securely tethers each person to their smartphone and exact location, 
thus making their check-in history definite,” states Tarik Tali, CEO of 
Taliware. “All user date is safely stored on the mobile device, it is 
never available to anyone but the authenticated user.”Who uses 
Taliware? Taliware’s biometric geo-presence systems are designed to 
provide persistent authentication and an uncompromising proof of 
identity with endless use case possibilities. Whether used for 
children’s safety, to track employees, or to provide court-based 
evidence, Taliware’s impact potential is far-reaching.Free trials on Apple App Store.


                
            

            
            
lifepro-tips:
Taliware™ Launches Biometric Geolocation Authentication Technology for iOS     Taliware™
 Launches A Verified You™, a new iOS ...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Boner, and Do a Barrel Roll: People Can't Handle The
 Way Morrissey Describes A
 Boner In His Novel
 A bulbous salutation to you all.
 posted on Sept. 24, 2015, at 9:52 a.m
 Alan White
 BuzzFeed News Reporter, UK
 So, during a sex scene in Morrissey's
 recently published novel List of the
 Lost, this happens.
 Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's
 howling mouth and the pained frenzy of
 his bulbous salutation extenuating his
 excitement as it smacked its way into
 every muscle of Eliza's body except for
 the otherwise central zone."
 03
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weirdest erotic sentence i’ve read all month

this fucking post singlehandedly ruined my life

You don’t really appreciate how fucking great fan fic is when it comes to writing sex untill you stop to recognise how Serious Literary Stars fail at writing sex.

DO A BARREL ROLL



#in all my years of reading fic i have never encountered a sentence this terrible #did he just say that his dick smacked EVERY MUSCLE in her body except you know her vagina? #like I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CHEEK I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE SHOULDER I'MMA SMACK YOU IN THE CALF #what is your dick doing?? #how do you think sex works morrissey??


Forget what his dick is doing, what are her breasts doing? How do a pair of fat sacks attached to a ribcage barrel-roll anywhere? Let alone across a man’s mouth and then his wanger immediately after? Sir, why is your mouth so dong-adjacent? Is your weiner detachable, is that it? Do you have your joystick clutched in your hand so that you can score a sweet schlong-to-titty-roll immediately after a kiss and then proceed to beat your banana all over her body in the world’s most failed attempt at erotic massage??? HOW DO YOU THINK SEX WORKS???

… guys
….. Are the sex scenes in My Immortal better than this?“HE PUT HIS THINGY IN MY YOU-KNOW-WHAT AND WE HAD SEX.”
… I mean. Comparatively…

Like, in My Immortal, it’s at least implied he knows where he’s supposed to put it. It’s very simplistic, Ikea-style sex (insert tab A into slot B) but that’s better than this vague, useless composition of random, nonsensical placement and movement of body parts.

So yes, the sex in My Immortal is, in this sense, better.


@goddessemily   was it this post?



                
            

            
            
thebibliosphere:

doebarnes:

mugsandpugs:

jottingprosaist:

shredsandpatches:

hedwig-dordt:

naznomad:

martingoresangst:

Thats the weir...