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Ass, Fucking, and Funny: I had to read this at work today and it's the funniest thing ever @ theblessedone TO ALL EMPLOYEES It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul lanquage in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated The management does, however, realise the importance of each person being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has compiled the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue. OLD PHRASE NEW PHRASE I'm not certain that's feasible. No fucking way You've got to be shitting me.Really Tell someone who gives a fuck Ask me if I give a fuck It's not my fucking problem. ....Perhaps you should check with <name> Of course I'm concerned. I wasn't involved in that project. . What the fuck? Fuck it, it won't work.ans Why the fuck didn't you tell me that sooner?.... I'll try to schedule that nteresting behaviour . I'm not sure I can implement this. When the fuck do you expect me to do this ?....Perhaps I can work late Who the fuck cares?. Are you sure it's a problem? He's got his head up his ass.. Eat shit. Eat shit and die Eat shit and die, motherfucker... What the fuck do they want from my life?They weren't happy with it? He's not familiar with the problem. You don't say Excuse me? Excuse me, <sir or ma'am>? Kiss my asS. Fuck it, I'm on salary So you'd like my help with that? I can’t believe some of you don’t follow @funny 🀣
Ass, Fucking, and Funny: I had to read this at work today and it's
 the funniest thing ever
 @ theblessedone
 TO ALL EMPLOYEES
 It has been brought to the management's attention that some individuals have been using foul lanquage in
 the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to complaints from some of the easily
 offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated
 The management does, however, realise the importance of each person being able to properly express
 their feelings when communicating with their fellow employees. Therefore, the management has compiled
 the following code phrases so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue.
 OLD PHRASE
 NEW PHRASE
 I'm not certain that's feasible.
 No fucking way
 You've got to be shitting me.Really
 Tell someone who gives a fuck
 Ask me if I give a fuck
 It's not my fucking problem.
 ....Perhaps you should check with <name>
 Of course I'm concerned.
 I wasn't involved in that project.
 .
 What the fuck?
 Fuck it, it won't work.ans
 Why the fuck didn't you tell me that sooner?.... I'll try to schedule that
 nteresting behaviour
 . I'm not sure I can implement this.
 When the fuck do you expect me to do this ?....Perhaps I can work late
 Who the fuck cares?.
 Are you sure it's a problem?
 He's got his head up his ass..
 Eat shit.
 Eat shit and die
 Eat shit and die, motherfucker...
 What the fuck do they want from my life?They weren't happy with it?
 He's not familiar with the problem.
 You don't say
 Excuse me?
 Excuse me, <sir or ma'am>?
 Kiss my asS.
 Fuck it, I'm on salary
 So you'd like my help with that?
I can’t believe some of you don’t follow @funny 🀣

I can’t believe some of you don’t follow @funny 🀣

Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally anything I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.
Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally
 anything
I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.

I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was T...

Alive, Bad, and Cute: Me as a parent Today's WiFi password can be unlocked by texting a photo of a clean kitchen to mom. Said photograph MUST contain one box of crackers on the counter by the stove (to prevent re-using any previous photos). Thank you for playing. May the odds be ever in your favor. Love, Mom sonansu This is such an abuser-disguised-as-a-quirky-parent vibe it literally makes me sick 2 look at lol eclecticnerd33 I am going to talk about this for a minute, because yeah I think OP really nails something here. A lot of really crappy parenting is often upheld as a cute or funny thing, and a lot of people in the comments are shitting on OP because they cannot imagine how t could possibly be abusive. It's hard because you cannot see the rest of the context, but this could very well be an abuse tactic, and overall is just a crappy thing to do to a kid. Plus it probably doesn't work and has negative consequences for the overall relationship l am going to address several things off of the bat. I am not saying that having your kid clean the kitchen is abusive, what I am saying is establishing a pattern of taking away good things preemptively to enforceΒ·good" behavior Is a bad parenting tactic that could toe the line to abuse. Especially the way it's worded as if it's a common tactic (need for a new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows no room for autonomy, and doesn't even really get at why the kitchen should be and needs to cleaned today (what you actually want your ki to learn in the long run). There are better ways new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows no room for autonomy, and doesn't even really get at why the kitchen should be and needs to be cleaned today (what you actually want your kid to learn in the long run). There are better ways to communicate the message of shared responsibility than through the creation of social isolation (and yes this is social isolation, wifi is used in how humans particularly young people communicate with their friends in real life and online nowadays) The major point I want to emphasize is that this type of action establishes a precedent and a set of emotions in a kid and none of those emotions are positive. It shows that important and vital things will be withheld, potentially without warning. It tells the kid they do not have a say in how their environment is structured, it tells them they do not have the right to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense of incompetence in themselves and resentment towards that authority that doesn't really consider their desire and needs I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting doesnt demand a kid do something or else, it gives a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on their own, and when they do both of you will be better served. The kid will have more motivation to get it done, and there isnta building sense of resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, a are situations and kids it doesn't work for, but this post out of context does give me bad parery kid they do not have a say in how their environment Is structured, it tells them they do not have the right to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense of incompetence in themselves and resentment towards that authority that doesn't really consider their desire and needs I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting doesnt demand a kid do something or else, it gives a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on their own, and when they do both of you will be better served. The kid will have more motivation to get it done, and there isn't a building sense of resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, and there are situations and kids it doesn't work for, but seeing this post out of context does give me bad parenting/ potential abuse vibes sonansu Hey! Thanks a ton. Since making this comment offhandedly, I have gotten over fifty Anon messages telling me I'm a spoiled brat, that my abuse is fake, and that should take my own life and stop being a burden on my abusive parents. People perceived my comment as "lol this is inherently abusive" rather than the "man this gives me the Willie's cause it's resonant to my own abuse. intended In that time, few people have stood up for me even tried to understand my side. Thank you fo having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of "lol this inherently abusive" rather than comment as is the "man this gives me the Willie's cause it's resonant to my own abuse. intended In that time, few people have stood up for me or even tried to understand my side. Thank you for having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of invalidating her. It legitimately means a lot to me. hearth-fucker Yeah this creeps me out on so many levels. It's different from the stereotypical picture of abuse but that doesn't make it any less abusive and it's important to look at this sort of controlling behavion and call it abuse toO horrorjapan f you think helping your mother who likely provides for you, cooks for you, is clearly out working to keep a roof over your head is 'abuse' grow the fuck up. I can't wait until the real world eats you entitled shits alive. Source: quotethatword #fucking this 181,908 notes No wifi =abuse?
Alive, Bad, and Cute: Me as a parent
 Today's WiFi password can be
 unlocked by texting a photo
 of a clean kitchen to mom.
 Said photograph MUST contain
 one box of crackers on the
 counter by the stove (to prevent
 re-using any previous photos).
 Thank you for playing.
 May the odds be ever
 in your favor.
 Love, Mom

 sonansu
 This is such an abuser-disguised-as-a-quirky-parent
 vibe it literally makes me sick 2 look at lol
 eclecticnerd33
 I am going to talk about this for a minute, because
 yeah I think OP really nails something here. A lot of
 really crappy parenting is often upheld as a cute or
 funny thing, and a lot of people in the comments are
 shitting on OP because they cannot imagine how
 t could possibly be abusive. It's hard because you
 cannot see the rest of the context, but this could
 very well be an abuse tactic, and overall is just a
 crappy thing to do to a kid. Plus it probably doesn't
 work and has negative consequences for the overall
 relationship
 l am going to address several things off of the
 bat. I am not saying that having your kid clean the
 kitchen is abusive, what I am saying is establishing a
 pattern of taking away good things preemptively to
 enforceΒ·good" behavior Is a bad parenting tactic
 that could toe the line to abuse. Especially the way
 it's worded as if it's a common tactic (need for a
 new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows
 no room for autonomy, and doesn't even really
 get at why the kitchen should be and needs to
 cleaned today (what you actually want your ki
 to learn in the long run). There are better ways

 new photo), overall this is authoritarian, allows
 no room for autonomy, and doesn't even really
 get at why the kitchen should be and needs to be
 cleaned today (what you actually want your kid
 to learn in the long run). There are better ways to
 communicate the message of shared responsibility
 than through the creation of social isolation (and yes
 this is social isolation, wifi is used in how humans
 particularly young people communicate with their
 friends in real life and online nowadays)
 The major point I want to emphasize is that this
 type of action establishes a precedent and a set of
 emotions in a kid and none of those emotions are
 positive. It shows that important and vital things will
 be withheld, potentially without warning. It tells the
 kid they do not have a say in how their environment
 is structured, it tells them they do not have the right
 to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense
 of incompetence in themselves and resentment
 towards that authority that doesn't really consider
 their desire and needs
 I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting
 doesnt demand a kid do something or else, it gives
 a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on
 their own, and when they do both of you will be
 better served. The kid will have more motivation
 to get it done, and there isnta building sense of
 resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, a
 are situations and kids it doesn't work for, but
 this post out of context does give me bad parery

 kid they do not have a say in how their environment
 Is structured, it tells them they do not have the right
 to set their own schedule, overall it breeds a sense
 of incompetence in themselves and resentment
 towards that authority that doesn't really consider
 their desire and needs
 I reflect a lot on parenting, and the best parenting
 doesnt demand a kid do something or else, it gives
 a kid the tools so they can get to that answer on
 their own, and when they do both of you will be
 better served. The kid will have more motivation
 to get it done, and there isn't a building sense of
 resentment. Yeah this method is hard work, and there
 are situations and kids it doesn't work for, but seeing
 this post out of context does give me bad parenting/
 potential abuse vibes
 sonansu
 Hey! Thanks a ton. Since making this comment
 offhandedly, I have gotten over fifty Anon messages
 telling me I'm a spoiled brat, that my abuse is fake,
 and that should take my own life and stop being a
 burden on my abusive parents. People perceived my
 comment as "lol this is inherently abusive" rather than
 the "man this gives me the Willie's cause it's resonant
 to my own abuse. intended
 In that time, few people have stood up for me
 even tried to understand my side. Thank you fo
 having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of

 "lol
 this
 inherently
 abusive"
 rather
 than
 comment as is
 the "man this gives me the Willie's cause it's resonant
 to my own abuse. intended
 In that time, few people have stood up for me or
 even tried to understand my side. Thank you for
 having compassion for an abuse survivor instead of
 invalidating her. It legitimately means a lot to me.
 hearth-fucker
 Yeah this creeps me out on so many levels. It's
 different from the stereotypical picture of abuse
 but that doesn't make it any less abusive and it's
 important to look at this sort of controlling behavion
 and call it abuse toO
 horrorjapan
 f you think helping your mother who likely provides
 for you, cooks for you, is clearly out working to keep a
 roof over your head is 'abuse' grow the fuck up. I can't
 wait until the real world eats you entitled shits alive.
 Source: quotethatword #fucking this
 181,908 notes
No wifi =abuse?

No wifi =abuse?