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Af, Bless Up, and Bodies : u/EyeBrowsReddit84 ld i.redd.it A three hour drive to the ocean is worth it for old man Stan. I’m worried I’ve opened a flood gate with y’all and that the hygiene discussion will never end - one of my lil homegirls text me saying imma need to start a whole new IG account on hygiene only 😩. With that said one of my followers commented today: “I’m dying😂😂😂I sent a guy into the shower once after he unzipped his pants and I caught a sniff of his sweaty HAIRY balls. I told him to clean himself and shave. He came out with bald patches and kinky patches that still stunk🤢🤢🤢”. Ok this raises two extremely important points, lemme address them in turn. (1) Some of y’all don’t know how to shower and need a full aura reboot - reset - recleanse. Go directly to Traders Joe. Buy a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint liquid wash. This shit will strip paint off cars. Turn the shower as hot as it go (UNLESS u live in the housing projects then DON’T DO THIS - project water get hot af lol I assume no responsibility for u cooking yourself.) Squirt a palm full of Dr. Bronners. Now physically violate the inside space between yo balls and yo thigh and also yo a$$ crack. Some of y’all have never since yo mama stopped bathing u actually washed this area properly. Go deep. Make it hurt a little. U feel me? Go hard. (2) For some of y’all the overall nastiness has seeped and stained into your body hair and now that body hair is a repository for stankariffic stankotry. When I said on here I shave my pits and PP some of u women got on here like “NOOOO PUBIC HAIR IS SEXY EW!” Yeah. Till u with Nasty Ned who make u vomit from his pube hair smell. Hand Ned a razor and a bar of soap. Ned, shave it all from the neck down. It’s rebirthing time. P.s. as I’ve detailed in previous posts, the Dr. Bronner’s soap is so potent that it will burn a lil bit when u pee. This isn’t an STD. This is the opening of yo PP finally being clean. Some of your bodies won’t be used to this and it will take adjustment but it will be worth it AF, I promise y’all - CLEANLINESS IS HOLINESS BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Af, Bless Up, and Bodies : u/EyeBrowsReddit84 ld i.redd.it
 A three hour drive to the ocean is worth it for
 old man Stan.
I’m worried I’ve opened a flood gate with y’all and that the hygiene discussion will never end - one of my lil homegirls text me saying imma need to start a whole new IG account on hygiene only 😩. With that said one of my followers commented today: “I’m dying😂😂😂I sent a guy into the shower once after he unzipped his pants and I caught a sniff of his sweaty HAIRY balls. I told him to clean himself and shave. He came out with bald patches and kinky patches that still stunk🤢🤢🤢”. Ok this raises two extremely important points, lemme address them in turn. (1) Some of y’all don’t know how to shower and need a full aura reboot - reset - recleanse. Go directly to Traders Joe. Buy a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint liquid wash. This shit will strip paint off cars. Turn the shower as hot as it go (UNLESS u live in the housing projects then DON’T DO THIS - project water get hot af lol I assume no responsibility for u cooking yourself.) Squirt a palm full of Dr. Bronners. Now physically violate the inside space between yo balls and yo thigh and also yo a$$ crack. Some of y’all have never since yo mama stopped bathing u actually washed this area properly. Go deep. Make it hurt a little. U feel me? Go hard. (2) For some of y’all the overall nastiness has seeped and stained into your body hair and now that body hair is a repository for stankariffic stankotry. When I said on here I shave my pits and PP some of u women got on here like “NOOOO PUBIC HAIR IS SEXY EW!” Yeah. Till u with Nasty Ned who make u vomit from his pube hair smell. Hand Ned a razor and a bar of soap. Ned, shave it all from the neck down. It’s rebirthing time. P.s. as I’ve detailed in previous posts, the Dr. Bronner’s soap is so potent that it will burn a lil bit when u pee. This isn’t an STD. This is the opening of yo PP finally being clean. Some of your bodies won’t be used to this and it will take adjustment but it will be worth it AF, I promise y’all - CLEANLINESS IS HOLINESS BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

I’m worried I’ve opened a flood gate with y’all and that the hygiene discussion will never end - one of my lil homegirls text me saying imma...

Aww, Bad, and Bless Up: r/aww u/bad_girlz ld imgur 150 Pound French Mastiff gets a kiss from a 6 pound Chihuahua Yesterday I discussed the poor hygiene of some of my brothers out here whose PPs is uncut. One of my followers had this to say: “I went to a dude's place for a wake up call and he knew I was coming. Pulled that skin back, and there was literally sh!t the consistency of- *BAM*. The smell hit and I started heaving and had to run to the bathroom. He had the nerve to try to clean himself, but the smell was either permeating his room or stuck in my nostrils\lungs\long-term memory. He took me to Olive Garden (because pasta and breadsticks usually makes me forget everything), but I saw some white sauce and started heaving at the table. Like, the drools started bruh. I think it was literally the last time we attempted $ex and our fvckship ended soon after. He's somewhere with no job and live with a brother at 41 years of age. His life could have been worth more if he cleaned himself that morning.” Ok. Hol up. Lemme just...lemme catch my breath...and...lemme...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA FVCK. 😂 NAW. NAW NAW NAW 😂. As basic Caucasian women say: “literally dead”. As the big homie Popiando would say, “deadass b. The Deadest of Asses.” I read this and my soul exited my body. Literally I exhaled my last breath and my soul said “bish I’m meeting God now” and my soul got to the gates of Heaven and Gabriel said“WHO IS YOUR LORD!” and I tried to say “there is no deity except God” and instead I opened my mouth and said “the ting goes SCREEEE RA PAT PAT PAT PAK CAC CA” and Gabriel flung me into Hell Bruh. Deceased. Let’s recount: (1) PP smelled like a Funeral Home and Crematorium for roadkill skunks. (2) Even the finest of middle class fancy dinners could not repair the damage. (3) After this incident, his entire life crumbled and he is now not only stinky but homeless, depressed, unemployed and desperate. I’m still dead. I still haven’t recovered. Y’all out here stroking my ego saying I’m funny...THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. MEN: DOVE SOAP. WARM WATER. YALL OUT HERE ALTERING THE ENTIRE TRAJECTORY OF YA LIFE OFF YA PP SMELL. SHOWER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. YALL BEEN WARNED 🤗 (credit the genius @tamashar - Big Sis! U murdered me 😂 bless up 😂😂😂)
Aww, Bad, and Bless Up: r/aww
 u/bad_girlz ld imgur
 150 Pound French Mastiff gets a kiss
 from a 6 pound Chihuahua
Yesterday I discussed the poor hygiene of some of my brothers out here whose PPs is uncut. One of my followers had this to say: “I went to a dude's place for a wake up call and he knew I was coming. Pulled that skin back, and there was literally sh!t the consistency of- *BAM*. The smell hit and I started heaving and had to run to the bathroom. He had the nerve to try to clean himself, but the smell was either permeating his room or stuck in my nostrils\lungs\long-term memory. He took me to Olive Garden (because pasta and breadsticks usually makes me forget everything), but I saw some white sauce and started heaving at the table. Like, the drools started bruh. I think it was literally the last time we attempted $ex and our fvckship ended soon after. He's somewhere with no job and live with a brother at 41 years of age. His life could have been worth more if he cleaned himself that morning.” Ok. Hol up. Lemme just...lemme catch my breath...and...lemme...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA FVCK. 😂 NAW. NAW NAW NAW 😂. As basic Caucasian women say: “literally dead”. As the big homie Popiando would say, “deadass b. The Deadest of Asses.” I read this and my soul exited my body. Literally I exhaled my last breath and my soul said “bish I’m meeting God now” and my soul got to the gates of Heaven and Gabriel said“WHO IS YOUR LORD!” and I tried to say “there is no deity except God” and instead I opened my mouth and said “the ting goes SCREEEE RA PAT PAT PAT PAK CAC CA” and Gabriel flung me into Hell Bruh. Deceased. Let’s recount: (1) PP smelled like a Funeral Home and Crematorium for roadkill skunks. (2) Even the finest of middle class fancy dinners could not repair the damage. (3) After this incident, his entire life crumbled and he is now not only stinky but homeless, depressed, unemployed and desperate. I’m still dead. I still haven’t recovered. Y’all out here stroking my ego saying I’m funny...THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER READ. MEN: DOVE SOAP. WARM WATER. YALL OUT HERE ALTERING THE ENTIRE TRAJECTORY OF YA LIFE OFF YA PP SMELL. SHOWER NOW BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. YALL BEEN WARNED 🤗 (credit the genius @tamashar - Big Sis! U murdered me 😂 bless up 😂😂😂)

Yesterday I discussed the poor hygiene of some of my brothers out here whose PPs is uncut. One of my followers had this to say: “I went to a...

5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631 >2746670273 My autistic tinder hookup be me, 19 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up > have a cold > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and retards were dtf > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?" > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny > she just says "yes" > don't reply for a few hours > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big dick > I am confused and assure her that I do not > she says she wants to be penetrated > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school > the school is a community college > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should fuck her > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and the students were all ignorant > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the middle east > I watch it for some reason > she starts talking about us fucking again > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10 minutes tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways > she sends me her address Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470) s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours > I shower and finally leave at like 11 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my tires > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy -1/--Hime > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out) > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck finally leave, put air in my tires > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me > avoid eye contact and leave > still nervous as fuck and without phone service > drive around her town not knowing what to do >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again > head to her house once again, lose service >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors are outside for some reason > not sure what to do or where to park drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone > luckily have service and can message her > tell her ive arrived > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door she tells me to just walk in > tell her that sounds sketchy > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed > decide fuck it, ill walk in > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything > I wave like the autist I am to them > they don't react > just walk in, my heart is pounding > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever she grabs me and leads me through her dark house > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan there's a huge mirror in front of her bed > Christmas lights all over her room > she lays down > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do > just make small-talk about her neighbors she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?" > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs > she tells me to eat her out > I have no idea how to pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319) 2-746666831 >-746669345 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath > losing my boner minutes losing my boner > I get up and take my condom off > she starts sucking my dick her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had diarrhea she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed > the mattresses start to spread apart >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them > I get back on top go for a few more minutes until I almost die she asks whyI keep getting so tired fuck her > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick we lay around talking about stuff for a while >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger > she sits on my dick while telling random stories tells me about how she was molested as a child probably giving me herpes > child starts knocking on door, crying > she yells at him to get back to bed > we get back to sex after 45 minutes try a few more positions > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum > not sure what to do or say or where to cum > start to cum on her chest she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking > she says she planned on continuing > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably cum in my urethra Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535· File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131) 746667711 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's moaning "seel See!" > ask her "see what? > she says "no, Spanish" > Im a retard > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and hot now she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas > I don't fucking know > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember >she came at least once, not sure how I did it >I just want to get another nut off > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist > get dressed, go for a hug she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close >say bye, leave > drive home for over an hour >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant > probably have herpes > just want to go home and shower and sleep > have never felt so dead inside >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work >go to sleep without showering > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant struggling to cum Anon gets laid
5 Am, Ass, and Bad: Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19:54:36 No. 746664631
 >2746670273
 My autistic tinder hookup
 be me, 19
 > ust quit night job, sleep schedule fucked up
 > have a cold
 > trying to stay up to fix sleep schedule, dying
 > fuck with girls on tinder, don't really care about it
 > used to try to get girls on it, gave up after only whales and
 retards were dtf
 > match with a mexican girl, 50 miles away
 > she's okay looking, not bad but nothing too special
 > send her a message saying "u like spaghettio?"
 > spaghettio's autocorrected to spaghettio, I thought it was funny
 > she just says "yes"
 > don't reply for a few hours
 > she sends me a message saving "you look like you have a big
 dick
 > I am confused and assure her that I do not
 > she says she wants to be penetrated
 > she says that she is moving away for school soon and doesn't want anything serious
 > I look her up on facebook and make sure that l'm not being catfished
 > see that she's about to move from the Midwest to California for school
 > the school is a community college
 > the subject gets changed, I ask her about herself while I nervously try to decide if I should
 fuck her
 > she starts telling me about her political stances, and how she wants to change the world
 > says she wants to teach at an inner-city school
 > I asked if she has ever gone to one, she says no but that she rode a bus with one once, and
 the students were all ignorant
 > she sends me a 15 minute john oliver video about translators helping the military in the
 middle east
 > I watch it for some reason
 > she starts talking about us fucking again
 > decide fuck it, I'm tired of missing my chances to get free puss
 > my only prior sexual experience is jerking my flaccid dick off on an escort's couch for 10
 minutes
 tell her I'm dtf, ask for her numbe
 > she won't give it to me, she doesn't want us to get that close since she's moving
 > tells me she doesn't want to kiss when we hook up
 > fine with me, I'm bad at it anyways
 > she sends me her address

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)19 57 04 No. 746664850
 File: 2.ipg (35 KB, 324x470)
 s it's almost 10 pm at this point, I've already been awake for 23 hours
 > I shower and finally leave at like 11
 get in my newly-purchased $1500 piece of shit car
 > loud as fuck, power steering barely functional, tire pressure terrible
 > start heading to her house, 1 hr 20 min trip according to google
 > realize that I should stop to get a 5 hour energy and put air in my
 tires
 > go to speedway, buy the 5 hour energy
 -1/--Hime
 > cashier keeps talking to me about how I'll need it for pokemon go (it just came out)
 > he won't stop talking about it, meanwhile im nervous as fuck
 finally leave, put air in my tires
 > their pressure is extremely low and I've only driven for 20 minutes so far
 > keep going, scared that car isn't going to be able to make it
 > stop again at another speedway, about an hour into the trip
 >put the air in my tires, try to find my way back to highway
 > have shitty ass cheap phone service, can't get google maps to load
 > just get back on highway and keep driving for a while
 > google maps is loading again, I make it to her town
 > having severe stomach issues, about to shit myself
 > lose service in her town, have no idea where I'm at
 >pull up to a sketchy ass gas station, go in to release my bowels
 > later in life I find out that I have irritable bowel syndrome
 > shit in the bathroom for probably 15 minutes, it's now almost 1 am
 > leave the bathroom, 2 men standing at the counter smiling at me
 > avoid eye contact and leave
 > still nervous as fuck and without phone service
 > drive around her town not knowing what to do
 >want to go home, but I've already made it this far so I cant give up
 finally get service, check tinder to see over 10 messages from her
 > she's getting pissed and wants to know what's going on
 > I park in front of someone's house and tell her that I'm lost
 > try to memorize directions to her house in case I lose service again
 > head to her house once again, lose service

 >think I find her house, but it's a two-family house and her neighbors
 are outside for some reason
 > not sure what to do or where to park
 drive around the block a few times, her neighbors are obviously
 suspicious that my loud ass car keeps passing by
 finally decide to park, pull up in front of her house
 > her neighbors are staring at me, start calling someone
 > luckily have service and can message her
 > tell her ive arrived
 > unluckily she's retarded and won't come to the door
 she tells me to just walk in
 > tell her that sounds sketchy
 > she still wont come to the door, says shes busy drinking water
 neighbors still staring at me, almost 10 minutes have passed
 > decide fuck it, ill walk in
 > cop car pulls up as im getting out of my car
 s they shine their spotlight on me, they don't say anything
 > I wave like the autist I am to them
 > they don't react
 > just walk in, my heart is pounding
 > she's standing by the doorway wearing panties and a tank top
 > don't understand why she didn't just let me in but whatever
 she grabs me and leads me through her dark house
 > there is a child that she is supposed to be babysitting sleeping on the couch
 > her bed is just 2 twin size beds next to each other
 > it's hot as fuck and I don't think there is any AC, only a fan
 there's a huge mirror in front of her bed
 > Christmas lights all over her room
 > she lays down
 > I stand there awkwardly, unsure of what to do
 > just make small-talk about her neighbors
 she says something like "are we going to fuck or not?"
 > nervously strip to my baggy boxer-briefs
 >get in the bed, start kissing her thighs
 > she tells me to eat her out
 > I have no idea how to
 pull her panties off and start licking her nether regions
 no clue what im doing, she seems to be enjoying somehow though
 > decide to stick a finger in, she likes it
 s haphazardly jam more fingers in, she still likes it

 O Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:12:17 No.746666235
 File: 4ipg (20 KB, 450x319)
 2-746666831 >-746669345
 >barely get it on, stick my chub inside her
 > thrust into her for a couple minutes, starting to lose breath
 > losing my boner
 minutes
 losing my boner
 > I get up and take my condom off
 > she starts sucking my dick
 her face is right around the corner from my asshole and I just had
 diarrhea
 she says she wants to ride me, I lay in the middle of her bed
 > the mattresses start to spread apart
 >I move to lay against the wall mostly on one mattress
 > it was dark so I couldn't tell, but I probably left ass sweat and shit stains all over her bed
 her titties are in my face, not totally sure what to do about them
 > I get back on top
 go for a few more minutes until I almost die
 she asks whyI keep getting so tired
 fuck her
 > I've been up for over 24 hours at this point, still sick
 we lay around talking about stuff for a while
 >trying to cool off, I don't even have a water
 >she rubs her hand on my dick and licks the precum off her finger
 > she sits on my dick while telling random stories
 tells me about how she was molested as a child
 probably giving me herpes
 > child starts knocking on door, crying
 > she yells at him to get back to bed
 > we get back to sex after 45 minutes
 try a few more positions
 > get her to try out some stuff like titty fucking and a foot job
 > I say "im gay" every time we switch positions because I am an autist and find it funny
 she asks me why I keep making fun of gay people
 she starts licking my mouth and tongue even though she said we shouldn't kiss
 > she's rubbing my dick on her clit and im about to cum
 > not sure what to do or say or where to cum
 > start to cum on her chest
 she sticks my dick in her mouth as I finish
 > we clean up, I ask her if she wants me to leave or if we should keep fucking
 > she says she planned on continuing
 > I somehow don't lose my erection and im miraculously able to continue
 >we do a few more positions, my unprotected dick is inside her while there is probably
 cum in my urethra

 Anonymous 09/29/17(Fri)20:14:53 No.746666535·
 File: 5ipg (258 KB, 1300x1131)
 746667711
 >im fucking her hard at one point, she's
 moaning "seel See!"
 > ask her "see what?
 > she says "no, Spanish"
 > Im a retard
 > almost an hour goes by, we're both tired and
 hot now
 she says she really wants to do some freaky shit, asks me for ideas
 > I don't fucking know
 > I think she mightve came twice, I don't really remember
 >she came at least once, not sure how I did it
 >I just want to get another nut off
 > she's ferociously sucking my dick, im
 >she gives up and lays with her face in the bed, her ass up
 > it takes every little bit of energy for me to cum onto her ass
 9 she tells me to take a photo so I do
 >she tries to move my hand to her asshole, I resist
 > get dressed, go for a hug
 she gives me a high-five instead, doesn't want us to get close
 >say bye, leave
 > drive home for over an hour
 >awake for like 30 hours, dehydrated, hot
 > contemplating life, the possibility that I got her pregnant
 > probably have herpes
 > just want to go home and shower and sleep
 > have never felt so dead inside
 >get home after 5 am, dad is getting ready for work
 >go to sleep without showering
 > periodically look her up to make sure she isn't pregnant
 struggling to cum
Anon gets laid

Anon gets laid