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Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE 12:09 PM a houston.craigslist.org image 1 of 23 TEXAS BNL-2934 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further. The 1999 Toyota Corolla Let's talk about features Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: ves Rent a car: it IS a car This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would Interesting facts This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional." When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla" You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey. Favorite food: spaghetti Favorite tv show: Alf Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the- road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine." Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla. Whit Bayou BWa catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car
Bluetooth, Bored, and Cars: . Verizon LTE
 12:09 PM
 a houston.craigslist.org
 image 1 of 23
 TEXAS
 BNL-2934
 You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's
 hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever
 compliment you on? Well look no further.

 The 1999 Toyota Corolla
 Let's talk about features
 Bluetooth: nope
 Sunroof: nope
 Fancy wheels: nope
 Rear view camera: nope...but it's got a transparent rear
 window and you have a fucking neck that can turn
 Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a
 strange sound. I didn't give a shit and ignored it. It went
 away. The End
 You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the
 Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years
 later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with
 Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would fucking start right
 This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children
 Things this car is old enough to do:
 Vote: yes
 Consent to sex: ves
 Rent a car: it IS a car
 This car's got history. It's seen some shit. People have done
 straight things in this car. People have done gay things ın this
 car. It's not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen
 would

 Interesting facts
 This car's exterior color is gray, but it's interior color is grey
 In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional."
 When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it
 caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The
 resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building
 caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The
 event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The
 Story of the 1999 Tovota Corolla"
 You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a
 Facebook survey.
 Favorite food: spaghetti
 Favorite tv show: Alf
 Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
 This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It's as middle-of-the-
 road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It's as
 utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based
 entirely on water bills
 When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece
 of paper that said, "It's a Corolla. It's fine."
 Let's face the facts, this car isn't going to win any beauty
 contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop
 lying to your wife. This isn't the car you want, it's the car you
 deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
 Whit
 Bayou
 BWa
catchymemes:

This man knows how to sell a car

catchymemes: This man knows how to sell a car

Crazy, Soon..., and Trash: Greetings new neighbors, First, welcome to your new home. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Chris and I'm your neighbor at 553% apt 1 (other side of your wall). rm including a page of helpful numbers and our trash collection days for you, hope they can be of help. I have helped one of the previous tenants there with some things so if you have any questions feel free to text me, I'm including my card. That said, just a heads up that I work nights so I will get back to you as soon as I can. I few things that I can think of now that may be useful: Our units do have heat pumps, and they do work. However, when the outside temp drops below 50 they are worthless. So the Washington Gas number is so you can have the gas turned on which work your radiators. Though that isn't an issue now, come winter it will be and I would suggest calling them now to get some info on if you need a deposit or not (cause if you do as i did, it is steep), There is only one outside water faucet, it's on my side in the front. Feel free to use it, the water bill (paid by land lord) is a single bil for both our units 1) 2) 3) I'm deaf in one ear, so if I ever have the TV to loud text me and let me know to turn it down. 4) When winter comes and if you decide to use the gas heat let me know, I will help bleed the tank and get it up and running for you. It took the previous tenant and me almost a full day and flooding the house before we got them going. Not that it is difficult, but it helps doing it for two years now. I know getting settled can be crazy and time consuming, so dinner is on me. I am enclosing a gift card so you can have an evening without having to worry about cooking. Happy house warming, 5) Again, welcome to your new home. Feel free to text with any questions. Chris The world needs more neighbors like Chris
Crazy, Soon..., and Trash: Greetings new neighbors,
 First, welcome to your new home. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Chris and I'm your
 neighbor at 553% apt 1 (other side of your wall). rm including a page of helpful numbers and our trash
 collection days for you, hope they can be of help. I have helped one of the previous tenants there with
 some things so if you have any questions feel free to text me, I'm including my card. That said, just a
 heads up that I work nights so I will get back to you as soon as I can.
 I few things that I can think of now that may be useful:
 Our units do have heat pumps, and they do work. However, when the outside temp drops below
 50 they are worthless. So the Washington Gas number is so you can have the gas turned on
 which work your radiators. Though that isn't an issue now, come winter it will be and I would
 suggest calling them now to get some info on if you need a deposit or not (cause if you do as i
 did, it is steep),
 There is only one outside water faucet, it's on my side in the front. Feel free to use it, the water
 bill (paid by land lord) is a single bil for both our units
 1)
 2)
 3) I'm deaf in one ear, so if I ever have the TV to loud text me and let me know to turn it down.
 4) When winter comes and if you decide to use the gas heat let me know, I will help bleed the tank
 and get it up and running for you. It took the previous tenant and me almost a full day and
 flooding the house before we got them going. Not that it is difficult, but it helps doing it for two
 years now.
 I know getting settled can be crazy and time consuming, so dinner is on me. I am enclosing a gift
 card so you can have an evening without having to worry about cooking. Happy house warming,
 5)
 Again, welcome to your new home. Feel free to text with any questions.
 Chris
The world needs more neighbors like Chris

The world needs more neighbors like Chris