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    Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex
                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex


                
            

            
            
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex



            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    80s, Bad, and Christmas: Chris Kohler @kobunheat 18m
 We have ET. WE HAVE ET pic.twitter.com/fIPTXgsyoo
 Expand
 4, Reply
 Retweet ★ Favorite More

 Chris Kohler @kobunheat-4m
 Close up. pic.twitter.com/inSKukib24
 ATARI
 75
 Expand
 Reply Retweet FavoriteMoe
lightspeedsound:

videogamesarepurehappiness:

maqdaddio:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

vergess:

coelasquid:

derples:

raisehelia:

cavebae:

estpolis:

mrdappersden:

They did it, they fucking did it.

holyfducjk

HISTORY

holy shit!

can someone explain this to me

Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true.

I don’t think people fully grasp just how awful it was. This one game, by the sheer merit of its unmatched shittiness, destroyed the video game and console market so thoroughly that the at home video game nearly went the way of the 8-track player.
It was literally so awful that it nearly changed the entire course of technology.

how can a video game possibly be that bad

People don’t really understand why it was terrible though, and the reasons why are extremely important and relevant especially today.
The game itself is bad, yes. It was built up to be an exciting hit for kids to play at Christmas in 1982. So much in fact, that retailers bought WAY more stock then could every be sold based on the hype.
However, people at the time liked the game. It looks bad now, but the game itself was pretty on par with the times. It wound up selling 1.5 million copies. Which would be great, except Atari was expecting to sell 4-5 million.
While initial reception was positive, critics started panning the game as critics do. While it was no worse than most other games at the time, it was stil frustrating and hard to play. It could not live up to the hype that had been built and negative press built up quickly.
But what was ALSO happening was a flood of cheap imitations on the market. ET is a licensed game, and like all licenses comes at a higher markup. So if you wanted to buy a game for yourself or your kid, would you buy 1 game, or 2 for the same price?
Atari was also screwing around with how they handled their distributors. Just before the game went to public, but AFTER the game had been bought and shipped, Atari announced that they were cancelling every existing contract with distributors and signing with only a select few.
So distributors, now pissed off and with an abundance of games that were NOT selling and with prices slashed horribly to sell games that people were quickly losing interest in, retailers put their claims to return a collective 2.5-3.5 million copies back to Atari. Atari, unable to recycle the cartridges or resell them in any way, wound up burying them in the Nevada desert.


This caused the Video Game Crash of the early 80s that put a dark mark on video games until Nintendo (and in some small part other game companies) to revive later. 
 It was the perfect storm. An over-hyped overpriced game sold to an increasingly frustrated and over-saturated market with retailers scrambling to make a dime while Game Devs blame the market for poor sales.

Some say the proverbial planets are aligning again, with way too many consoles putting way too samey games on the market at way too high a cost with a strong dependence on Pre-orders and pre-order exclusives.

Wanna give the game a shot?  Internet Archives actually has a copy of it at this link:
https://archive.org/details/E.T._The_Extra-Terrestrial_1982_Atari_NTSC

this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                80s, Bad, and Christmas: Chris Kohler @kobunheat 18m
 We have ET. WE HAVE ET pic.twitter.com/fIPTXgsyoo
 Expand
 4, Reply
 Retweet ★ Favorite More

 Chris Kohler @kobunheat-4m
 Close up. pic.twitter.com/inSKukib24
 ATARI
 75
 Expand
 Reply Retweet FavoriteMoe
lightspeedsound:

videogamesarepurehappiness:

maqdaddio:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

vergess:

coelasquid:

derples:

raisehelia:

cavebae:

estpolis:

mrdappersden:

They did it, they fucking did it.

holyfducjk

HISTORY

holy shit!

can someone explain this to me

Thirty years ago a legendary ET game came to fruition, so awful that as the tale told, all unsold copies of it were buried in a pit in New Mexico. A documentary film crew has just unearthed the stash, proving the legend true.

I don’t think people fully grasp just how awful it was. This one game, by the sheer merit of its unmatched shittiness, destroyed the video game and console market so thoroughly that the at home video game nearly went the way of the 8-track player.
It was literally so awful that it nearly changed the entire course of technology.

how can a video game possibly be that bad

People don’t really understand why it was terrible though, and the reasons why are extremely important and relevant especially today.
The game itself is bad, yes. It was built up to be an exciting hit for kids to play at Christmas in 1982. So much in fact, that retailers bought WAY more stock then could every be sold based on the hype.
However, people at the time liked the game. It looks bad now, but the game itself was pretty on par with the times. It wound up selling 1.5 million copies. Which would be great, except Atari was expecting to sell 4-5 million.
While initial reception was positive, critics started panning the game as critics do. While it was no worse than most other games at the time, it was stil frustrating and hard to play. It could not live up to the hype that had been built and negative press built up quickly.
But what was ALSO happening was a flood of cheap imitations on the market. ET is a licensed game, and like all licenses comes at a higher markup. So if you wanted to buy a game for yourself or your kid, would you buy 1 game, or 2 for the same price?
Atari was also screwing around with how they handled their distributors. Just before the game went to public, but AFTER the game had been bought and shipped, Atari announced that they were cancelling every existing contract with distributors and signing with only a select few.
So distributors, now pissed off and with an abundance of games that were NOT selling and with prices slashed horribly to sell games that people were quickly losing interest in, retailers put their claims to return a collective 2.5-3.5 million copies back to Atari. Atari, unable to recycle the cartridges or resell them in any way, wound up burying them in the Nevada desert.


This caused the Video Game Crash of the early 80s that put a dark mark on video games until Nintendo (and in some small part other game companies) to revive later. 
 It was the perfect storm. An over-hyped overpriced game sold to an increasingly frustrated and over-saturated market with retailers scrambling to make a dime while Game Devs blame the market for poor sales.

Some say the proverbial planets are aligning again, with way too many consoles putting way too samey games on the market at way too high a cost with a strong dependence on Pre-orders and pre-order exclusives.

Wanna give the game a shot?  Internet Archives actually has a copy of it at this link:
https://archive.org/details/E.T._The_Extra-Terrestrial_1982_Atari_NTSC

this is like the dutch tulip bubble of our times

                
            

            
            
lightspeedsound:

videogamesarepurehappiness:

maqdaddio:

ask-gallows-callibrator:

vergess:

coelasquid:

derples:

raisehelia:

cavebae:
...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Tumblr, Blog, and Http: dianasofthemyscira:

Let your body be the velvet of the nightLily James as Donna Sheridan in Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tumblr, Blog, and Http: dianasofthemyscira:

Let your body be the velvet of the nightLily James as Donna Sheridan in Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)
                
                

                
            

            
            
dianasofthemyscira:

Let your body be the velvet of the nightLily James as Donna Sheridan in Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Beautiful, Best Friend, and Bitch: screwdisimgoinhome:
that-one-demonic-gay:


that-one-demonic-gay:

shootingstar912:

orihime-maychan:

oanimexliveo:


halduron-brightwang:

astrocmets:

vertigo-potato:

for-my-sea-of-lillies:


acrylic–alien:

hazycosmicjive77:

bi-mabel-pines:

waffelsareevil:


daddy-and-his-princess-13:

smalllilkitten:


gingerbooknerdhufflepuff:


flower-whisper:

One of a Kind Life Like Enchanting Lunar Moon Light Lamp! Soft Light to give off the Moonlight Vibe for the surrounding area! Make someone’s Day with with one these Unique Lunar Moon Lamp!
Currently on Sale and if you use the Code: MOON you get an additional Discount!
= GET IT HERE =


I WANT THIS


I wish I could have it :(


i’m fucking crying i NEED


MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP


I NEEEEED this! Adding to my endless Christmas list!

I have one and they are dope!!!


I got one of these over the break and it’s great!


Sis gave me this for Christmas, it’s even more amazing than I thought cuz when you charge it it’s red like a blood moon, when you unplug it just touch a small silver circle, the only part non identical to the moon’s features, and it lights up, you can make it bright white or yellowish with a tap of the finger, hold the tip of your finger on the same spot to make it brighter or darker. And the details must be 3d printed cause when it lights up its a perfect replica of the moon, even the far side, not like the cheap lumpy knock offs at toy stores, this is a real detailed thoughtful peice of art.Best part, I get to carry the moon around with me to light my path at night, fall asleep reading by moonlight, and guess what…I actually have the moon that people have been fantasizing for centuries about capturing, lassoing, and bringing down to earth as a show of their love.I finally have the moon!


My mom fucking got me this for christmas. I am shook


my best friend got me this when she visited me irl for the first time and its the best thing ever! 


i have one of these and absolutely love it
everything above is true, but the battery also lasts an incredibly long time! i havent charged mine in at least two weeks and despite leaving it on all night the past few nights the battery isnt dead yet.


I want to sit on bed with all the lights off and hold the moon lamp, and basically think about life for a moment bc When I think about this,,, its like, make me free from Anxiety. So this would be beautiful


I NEED THIS RN T_T


Who else wants twenty of this babies?

I ordered this bitch and I can’t fucking wait1!

YES! THIS BITCH ARRIVED TODAY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! It also glows red slightly when it charges. Best 40 bucks I’ve even spent!


I’ve got one its literally my favorite light it’s the absolute best 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Beautiful, Best Friend, and Bitch: screwdisimgoinhome:
that-one-demonic-gay:


that-one-demonic-gay:

shootingstar912:

orihime-maychan:

oanimexliveo:


halduron-brightwang:

astrocmets:

vertigo-potato:

for-my-sea-of-lillies:


acrylic–alien:

hazycosmicjive77:

bi-mabel-pines:

waffelsareevil:


daddy-and-his-princess-13:

smalllilkitten:


gingerbooknerdhufflepuff:


flower-whisper:

One of a Kind Life Like Enchanting Lunar Moon Light Lamp! Soft Light to give off the Moonlight Vibe for the surrounding area! Make someone’s Day with with one these Unique Lunar Moon Lamp!
Currently on Sale and if you use the Code: MOON you get an additional Discount!
= GET IT HERE =


I WANT THIS


I wish I could have it :(


i’m fucking crying i NEED


MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP


I NEEEEED this! Adding to my endless Christmas list!

I have one and they are dope!!!


I got one of these over the break and it’s great!


Sis gave me this for Christmas, it’s even more amazing than I thought cuz when you charge it it’s red like a blood moon, when you unplug it just touch a small silver circle, the only part non identical to the moon’s features, and it lights up, you can make it bright white or yellowish with a tap of the finger, hold the tip of your finger on the same spot to make it brighter or darker. And the details must be 3d printed cause when it lights up its a perfect replica of the moon, even the far side, not like the cheap lumpy knock offs at toy stores, this is a real detailed thoughtful peice of art.Best part, I get to carry the moon around with me to light my path at night, fall asleep reading by moonlight, and guess what…I actually have the moon that people have been fantasizing for centuries about capturing, lassoing, and bringing down to earth as a show of their love.I finally have the moon!


My mom fucking got me this for christmas. I am shook


my best friend got me this when she visited me irl for the first time and its the best thing ever! 


i have one of these and absolutely love it
everything above is true, but the battery also lasts an incredibly long time! i havent charged mine in at least two weeks and despite leaving it on all night the past few nights the battery isnt dead yet.


I want to sit on bed with all the lights off and hold the moon lamp, and basically think about life for a moment bc When I think about this,,, its like, make me free from Anxiety. So this would be beautiful


I NEED THIS RN T_T


Who else wants twenty of this babies?

I ordered this bitch and I can’t fucking wait1!

YES! THIS BITCH ARRIVED TODAY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! It also glows red slightly when it charges. Best 40 bucks I’ve even spent!


I’ve got one its literally my favorite light it’s the absolute best 

                
            

            
            
screwdisimgoinhome:
that-one-demonic-gay:


that-one-demonic-gay:

shootingstar912:

orihime-maychan:

oanimexliveo:


halduron-brightwang:
...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Pablo Escobar, Reddit, and Tumblr: historicaltimes:

Pablo Escobar and his son in front of the White House via reddit
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Pablo Escobar, Reddit, and Tumblr: historicaltimes:

Pablo Escobar and his son in front of the White House via reddit
                
            

            
            
historicaltimes:

Pablo Escobar and his son in front of the White House via reddit

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Fake, Food, and Fucking: DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE IS
 AN ACID WITHA PH LEVEL OF7
 DIHYDROGEN
 MONOXIDE
 AWARENESS
 THAT'S A HIGHER PH LEVEL
 THAN ANY OTHER ACID!
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmonoxideawareness:

Why would anyone want to consume it!?

I teach my 7th graders about the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide.
I bring in a graduated cylinder of it and we talk about how it’s used in nuclear power plants and gmo crops. How inhaling even the small amount I’m holding can lead to suffocation or even death. It’s found in vaccines and cancer cells, but also in infant formula and pet food. It is a huge component of acid rain, can cause severe burns, and has been found in places that were thought to be the most pristine and unpolluted locations on earth.
We talk about how there are little to no regulations on this chemical. No bans, no warning labels, and most manufacturers don’t even have to disclose their use of it in their products.
My students are outraged. We talk about what we can do. Create posters and flyers to spread awareness. Contact our senators with petitions to ban DHMO. Spread this information all over social media.
Then I explain that the real problem with dihydrogen monoxide is that….when I am thirsty…there is just nothing else as refreshing, and then I watch their looks of absolute shock and horror as I drink the entire vial down. 



I. Fucking. Love. This.
This is how misinformation works. How propaganda works. How manipulation works.


may our education be stronger than fake news


Amen.

To those who don’t get it:
“Dihydrogen monoxide” is the chemical name for water, AKA H2O.

another important element of understanding the joke is understanding how pH levels work
yup.  that’s a higher number alright.

“Everyone who has ever touched or consumed this chemical has died”

                
            

            
            
youngalientype:

mod2amaryllis:

chubby-aphrodite:

darthlenaplant:

nerdy-pharmacy-daydreams:


bluegone:


etherealastraea:

dihydrogenmon...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Old Man, Tumblr, and Blog: Me too.
acekeith:
But what if the old
man really knew it was going to happen?
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Old Man, Tumblr, and Blog: Me too.
acekeith:
But what if the old
man really knew it was going to happen?
                
                

                
            

            
            
acekeith:
But what if the old
man really knew it was going to happen?

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Bodies , Dove, and Tumblr: blaruto:



Sardonyx and Smoky Quartz remind us that all bodies, big and small, are capable of amazing things in this new Dove commercial!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Bodies , Dove, and Tumblr: blaruto:



Sardonyx and Smoky Quartz remind us that all bodies, big and small, are capable of amazing things in this new Dove commercial!
                
                

                
            

            
            
blaruto:



Sardonyx and Smoky Quartz remind us that all bodies, big and small, are capable of amazing things in this new Dove commercial!

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            




    Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been  

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been  

                
                

                
            

            
            
bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR
 ISEE WHAT
 YOU DID THERE
 0
dracophile:

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.



I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR
 ISEE WHAT
 YOU DID THERE
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dracophile:

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.



I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?


                
            

            
            
dracophile:

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

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