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Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori tated, thank you." Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli- gious Studies and say The only thing I wor- ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up. Show you're good at delegating respon bility by sending someone else to the in terview Employers check Facebook accounts so make sure all your photos show you looking at a spreadsheet and punching the air. Always make eye contact and if you have two interviewers, train your eyes to work independently like a chameleon. Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against buttock. Make sizzling noise. When asked why you'd be suited to the job, pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say It was foretold." Stare at them. If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di ng Kitkat to emphasise leadership. If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it & say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta. At the beginning, try to make small talk with your interviewer such as "lovely day!" or "you look like my real father. When asked to describe yourself in 5 words say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open packet of Mini Eggs. When asked if you found the place OK, say I was driven here by cab. Normally of course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks Know the interviewer's name and use it during the interview. If you're not sure what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo". THE META PICTURE awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips
nsfw
Facebook, Fanta, and Job Interview: Remember, every question is a test so when
 they say "How are you?" reply "Goal ori
 tated, thank you."
 Make a point of mentioning you failed Reli-
 gious Studies and say The only thing I wor-
 ship is productivity." 2 thumbs up.
 Show you're good at delegating respon
 bility by sending someone else to the in
 terview
 Employers check Facebook accounts so
 make sure all your photos show you looking
 at a spreadsheet and punching the air.
 Always make eye contact and if you have
 two interviewers, train your eyes to
 work independently like a chameleon.
 Tell them you're not an applicánt, you're a
 appliCAN. Lick your finger, hold it against
 buttock. Make sizzling noise.
 When asked why you'd be suited to the job,
 pass an ancient scroll along the desk& say
 It was foretold." Stare at them.
 If you're meeting 3 interviewers, bring in a 4
 finger Kitkat. Take charge of di
 ng
 Kitkat to emphasise leadership.
 If asked where you see yourself in 5 yrs
 time, tip them out of their chair, sit on it &
 say 'Here'. Break open a Fanta.
 At the beginning, try to make small talk
 with your interviewer such as "lovely day!"
 or "you look like my real father.
 When asked to describe yourself in 5 words
 say "Atrocious counting skills". Laugh. Open
 packet of Mini Eggs.
 When asked if you found the place OK, say
 I was driven here by cab. Normally of
 course I'm driven by results!" 4 winks
 Know the interviewer's name and use it
 during the interview. If you're not sure
 what it is, call them Jobsy" or "Jobbo".
 THE META PICTURE
awesomesthesia:

Some Good Job Interview Tips

awesomesthesia: Some Good Job Interview Tips

Ass, Fail, and Fucking: Jessica Liebman ajessicaliebman Follow Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear bya simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job. businessinsider.com Muging M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow White people's fixation on inconsequential social norms is a way to structurally keep out non-white people who lack the cultural capital and privilege to know every one of these inane social rules we're supposed to perform to be granted the jobs and resources we fucking deserve. Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t.. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow As people who lack white or class privilege know, not possessing this cultural capital causes intense anxiety and alienation. Networking events, office small talk, interviews are often dreadful experiences bc we're being judged according to rules that were set up for us to fail. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow Everyone who has experienced the dread & anxiety of being in a room full of privileged white people and literally not knowing what they're talking about and second guessing everything you do, knows that these "proper politeness" rules are just a way to alienate & marginalize us. Muqing M. Zhang Follow muingmzhang These social norms of the dominant group create intense emotional strain for marginalized peoples. They cause immense mental labor for us to learn and mimic these behaviors, fear that resources will be withheld, and anxiety when we can't contort ourselves to fit their demands. thesunshineshow: kushonthecoast: siryouarebeingmocked: yourpoliticsarestupid: uncommonbish: THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions Someone didn’t send a thank you email. I always love it when some idiot takes a single person’s actions and uses them to generalize about “white people” or “men” or whoever. white people’s fixations on inconsequential social norms Who wants to tell this guy about, say, Japanese tea ceremonies? In fact, this statement is not only racist against white people, it’s racist against non-whites too. the jobs we [CENSORED] deserve Isn’t that for the hiring manager to determine, not you? If you’re throwing this pseudoinellectual, racist, self-entitled tantrum over a single hiring manager requiring a minor courtesy, why would anyone want to hire you? Do you think most white applicants are automatically going know they should send a thank you letter? “First impressions matter” my ass. You…you do realize that concept isn’t remotely limited to Gen Xers, right? How fucking low does the bar have to be that asking for a thank you is too fucking much? Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover it. I thought it was common sense to say thank you for getting hired but it turns out I’ve been a superior, high class white male all along. I learn so much on Tumblr everyday. “nonwhites are idiotic caveman with zero basic social skills” sounds kind of racist to me.
Ass, Fail, and Fucking: Jessica Liebman
 ajessicaliebman
 Follow
 Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring
 people for 10 years, and I still swear bya
 simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank
 you email, don't hire them.
 I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s
 An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes
 candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job.
 businessinsider.com

 Muging M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 White people's fixation on
 inconsequential social norms is a way to
 structurally keep out non-white people
 who lack the cultural capital and
 privilege to know every one of these
 inane social rules we're supposed to
 perform to be granted the jobs and
 resources we fucking deserve.
 Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman
 Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still
 swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire
 them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t..

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 As people who lack white or class
 privilege know, not possessing this
 cultural capital causes intense anxiety
 and alienation. Networking events, office
 small talk, interviews are often dreadful
 experiences bc we're being judged
 according to rules that were set up for us
 to fail.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 Everyone who has experienced the dread
 & anxiety of being in a room full of
 privileged white people and literally not
 knowing what they're talking about and
 second guessing everything you do,
 knows that these "proper politeness"
 rules are just a way to alienate &
 marginalize us.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 Follow
 muingmzhang
 These social norms of the dominant
 group create intense emotional strain for
 marginalized peoples. They cause
 immense mental labor for us to learn and
 mimic these behaviors, fear that
 resources will be withheld, and anxiety
 when we can't contort ourselves to fit
 their demands.
thesunshineshow:
kushonthecoast:


siryouarebeingmocked:


yourpoliticsarestupid:

uncommonbish:

THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions

Someone didn’t send a thank you email. 

I always love it when some idiot takes a single person’s actions and uses them to generalize about “white people” or “men” or whoever.
white people’s fixations on inconsequential social norms
Who wants to tell this guy about, say, Japanese tea ceremonies? In fact, this statement is not only racist against white people, it’s racist against non-whites too.
the jobs we [CENSORED] deserve
Isn’t that for the hiring manager to determine, not you? If you’re throwing this pseudoinellectual, racist, self-entitled tantrum over a single hiring manager requiring a minor courtesy, why would anyone want to hire you? Do you think most white applicants are automatically going know they should send a thank you letter?


“First impressions matter” my ass.


You…you do realize that concept isn’t remotely limited to Gen Xers, right?


How fucking low does the bar have to be that asking for a thank you is too fucking much?
Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cover it.


I thought it was common sense to say thank you for getting hired but it turns out I’ve been a superior, high class white male all along. I learn so much on Tumblr everyday. 


“nonwhites are idiotic caveman with zero basic social skills” sounds kind of racist to me.

thesunshineshow: kushonthecoast: siryouarebeingmocked: yourpoliticsarestupid: uncommonbish: THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivis...

Ass, Fail, and Fucking: Jessica Liebman ajessicaliebman Follow Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear bya simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job. businessinsider.com Muging M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow White people's fixation on inconsequential social norms is a way to structurally keep out non-white people who lack the cultural capital and privilege to know every one of these inane social rules we're supposed to perform to be granted the jobs and resources we fucking deserve. Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t.. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow As people who lack white or class privilege know, not possessing this cultural capital causes intense anxiety and alienation. Networking events, office small talk, interviews are often dreadful experiences bc we're being judged according to rules that were set up for us to fail. Muqing M. Zhang @muqingmzhang Follow Everyone who has experienced the dread & anxiety of being in a room full of privileged white people and literally not knowing what they're talking about and second guessing everything you do, knows that these "proper politeness" rules are just a way to alienate & marginalize us. Muqing M. Zhang Follow muingmzhang These social norms of the dominant group create intense emotional strain for marginalized peoples. They cause immense mental labor for us to learn and mimic these behaviors, fear that resources will be withheld, and anxiety when we can't contort ourselves to fit their demands. smaug-official: uncommonbish:THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions Bizarre social rules like these are literally so detrimental to autistic people trying to find work, I already struggle enough with the basics of social etiquette I don’t need weird rules like these to follow…
Ass, Fail, and Fucking: Jessica Liebman
 ajessicaliebman
 Follow
 Hey, I wrote something! I've been hiring
 people for 10 years, and I still swear bya
 simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank
 you email, don't hire them.
 I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still swear by a simple rule: if s
 An executive managing editor who has hired hundreds of people believes
 candidates who send thank you emails show they want the job.
 businessinsider.com

 Muging M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 White people's fixation on
 inconsequential social norms is a way to
 structurally keep out non-white people
 who lack the cultural capital and
 privilege to know every one of these
 inane social rules we're supposed to
 perform to be granted the jobs and
 resources we fucking deserve.
 Jessica Liebman @jessicaliebman
 Hey, I wrote something!. I've been hiring people for 10 years, and I still
 swear by a simple rule: If someone doesn't send a thank you email, don't hire
 them. businessinsider.com/how-to-write-t..

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 As people who lack white or class
 privilege know, not possessing this
 cultural capital causes intense anxiety
 and alienation. Networking events, office
 small talk, interviews are often dreadful
 experiences bc we're being judged
 according to rules that were set up for us
 to fail.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 @muqingmzhang
 Follow
 Everyone who has experienced the dread
 & anxiety of being in a room full of
 privileged white people and literally not
 knowing what they're talking about and
 second guessing everything you do,
 knows that these "proper politeness"
 rules are just a way to alienate &
 marginalize us.

 Muqing M. Zhang
 Follow
 muingmzhang
 These social norms of the dominant
 group create intense emotional strain for
 marginalized peoples. They cause
 immense mental labor for us to learn and
 mimic these behaviors, fear that
 resources will be withheld, and anxiety
 when we can't contort ourselves to fit
 their demands.
smaug-official:

uncommonbish:THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically arbitrary way to keep TALENT + MERIT as secondary qualifiers. “First impressions matter” my ass. Get Gen Xs out of hiring positions

Bizarre social rules like these are literally so detrimental to autistic people trying to find work, I already struggle enough with the basics of social etiquette I don’t need weird rules like these to follow…

smaug-official: uncommonbish:THISTHISTHIS, and linguistic prescriptivism also falls into this category. Completely pointless, historically ...