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Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally anything I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.
Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally
 anything
I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.

I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was T...

Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her swaddling technique on the dog. Reddit u/ohaivoltage @DrSmashlove So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂
Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her
 swaddling technique on the dog.
 Reddit u/ohaivoltage
 @DrSmashlove
So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂

So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and fo...

Barbie, Birthday, and Facts: altonzm french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you talian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house thirdtimecharmed american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. orriculum English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy digitalfare Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn't quite right. I don't know what to tell you. jamesandlilys Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie pajarosdelamancha Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts narwhal-noir Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity no one will appreciate it. moldychesee Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy or an unholy combination of the three dixon-arrows Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT beckyhop Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries cuisines AND neuroses. memesandshipsgalore Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl onceuponamirror ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. jumpingjacktrash internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister's third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown. piedude Irish recipes: PO TA TOES BOILEM MASH 'EM STICK EM IN A STEW International Recipes
Barbie, Birthday, and Facts: altonzm
 french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you
 talian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this
 specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting
 physically in your house
 thirdtimecharmed
 american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats
 you cooked
 chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a
 pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in
 your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void.
 orriculum
 English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy
 digitalfare
 Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn't quite right. I don't
 know what to tell you.
 jamesandlilys
 Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie

 pajarosdelamancha
 Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts
 narwhal-noir
 Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be
 flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity no one will appreciate it.
 moldychesee
 Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy
 or an unholy combination of the three
 dixon-arrows
 Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN
 YOUR HEART, TOUCH IT. LICK IT. SMELL IT
 beckyhop
 Every time I see this post, I learn more about how different countries cuisines
 AND neuroses.
 memesandshipsgalore
 Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish
 that has 500 spices so gl
 onceuponamirror
 ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.

 jumpingjacktrash
 internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sister's third
 birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown.
 piedude
 Irish recipes:
 PO
 TA
 TOES
 BOILEM
 MASH 'EM
 STICK EM IN A STEW
International Recipes

International Recipes

Confidence, Definitely, and Energy: MLLIONLIREMENTOR CONFIDENCE MAKES YOU SEXY A few reasons why confidence is the most attractive quality a person can possess. - Confidence is an asset that shines through personal relationships, your own relationship with yourself and relations in the workplace. Everyone respects a person with confidence because with it, you are basically investing your heart and soul into something you feel passionately about. ✔️It shows how you feel about yourself. If you aren't going to have confidence in yourself, why would anyone else? You can't expect people to support you unconditionally if you do not believe in yourself wholeheartedly. If you aren't secure in who you are as a person, how can you ever move forward in life with ease?🤔 ✔️It asserts power and knowledge. If you aren't confident in your views and convictions, how can you expect others to listen to what you have to say? If you don't believe what you are selling, no one else will either. People aren't fools and will know when you are faking it. They can smell bullsh*t a mile away and are definitely not afraid to call you out on it. If you want people to listen to what you have to say, you must show confidence and engage them in whatever it is you are trying to say. ✔️It encourages positive thinking. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly negative all of the time? No one, that's for damn sure. ✔️It shows leadership. There is no way to even trust someone's ability to lead you if that person isn't confident in his or her own motives. Leaders must have confidence so that the people looking up to them feel secure, motivated and driven. ✔️It draws people to you. Confidence creates an aura that draws people in. Because many people lack high self-esteems, they are intrigued by people who have high levels of confidence. They want to learn how these people live their lives with hopes of emulating their energy. - confidence sexy motivation millionairementor
Confidence, Definitely, and Energy: MLLIONLIREMENTOR
 CONFIDENCE
 MAKES YOU
 SEXY
A few reasons why confidence is the most attractive quality a person can possess. - Confidence is an asset that shines through personal relationships, your own relationship with yourself and relations in the workplace. Everyone respects a person with confidence because with it, you are basically investing your heart and soul into something you feel passionately about. ✔️It shows how you feel about yourself. If you aren't going to have confidence in yourself, why would anyone else? You can't expect people to support you unconditionally if you do not believe in yourself wholeheartedly. If you aren't secure in who you are as a person, how can you ever move forward in life with ease?🤔 ✔️It asserts power and knowledge. If you aren't confident in your views and convictions, how can you expect others to listen to what you have to say? If you don't believe what you are selling, no one else will either. People aren't fools and will know when you are faking it. They can smell bullsh*t a mile away and are definitely not afraid to call you out on it. If you want people to listen to what you have to say, you must show confidence and engage them in whatever it is you are trying to say. ✔️It encourages positive thinking. Who wants to be around someone who is constantly negative all of the time? No one, that's for damn sure. ✔️It shows leadership. There is no way to even trust someone's ability to lead you if that person isn't confident in his or her own motives. Leaders must have confidence so that the people looking up to them feel secure, motivated and driven. ✔️It draws people to you. Confidence creates an aura that draws people in. Because many people lack high self-esteems, they are intrigued by people who have high levels of confidence. They want to learn how these people live their lives with hopes of emulating their energy. - confidence sexy motivation millionairementor

A few reasons why confidence is the most attractive quality a person can possess. - Confidence is an asset that shines through personal rela...