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    Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM
 Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE
 READ. It's about my experience last night with
 these fucking border patrol agents.
 Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from
 Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family.
 When we got to the California/Nevada state
 line, as always, there's a checkpoint.
 (This checkpoint USED to be one where they
 made sure you weren't carrying fruits into
 California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species)
 Anyway...
 The bus driver makes an announcement: "We
 are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be
 prepared to show your documentation upon
 request".
 WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?
 So you know I'm ready to act an ASS.
 I stand up and say LOUDLY

 I stand up and say LOUDLY:
 THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH
 AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
 SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are
 not within 100 miles of an international border
 so that have NO authority to ask you for
 ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!
 And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google
 translated how to say that in Spanish and
 repeated myself:
 Esto es una violaciΓ³n de los derechos de su
 cuarta enmienda. Β‘No tienes que mostrarles
 nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas
 miedo. EstΓ‘n equivocados, y no dejaremos
 pasar esto
 The lady next to me did not speak English.
 She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had
 her back.
 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO

 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO
 RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest
 of you guys don't have to show them
 anything, either! This is harassment and
 racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn
 thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border
 so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction
 here! GOOGLE IT!"
 The agents start to look exasperated,
 because they can see I'm wiling to act a
 WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We
 can see that you're a citizen because of your
 filthy mouth". And then they just said "go
 ahead" to the bus driver and got off.
 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when

 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when
 they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend
 her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No
 one should be asked to present "papers" for
 interstate travel. I defended her, and I
 defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just
 take this shit LYING down. What those
 officers did is WRONG and completely illegal.
 All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to
 let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE
 SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off.
 Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS.
 Because if you let them intimidate the poor
 Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do
 you think they're coming for next?

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Anaconda, Ass, and Donkey: Yesterday at 8:17 AM
 Ok. Storytime: this is kinda long but PLEASE
 READ. It's about my experience last night with
 these fucking border patrol agents.
 Last night, I rode the greyhound bus from
 Bakersfield to Las Vegas to visit family.
 When we got to the California/Nevada state
 line, as always, there's a checkpoint.
 (This checkpoint USED to be one where they
 made sure you weren't carrying fruits into
 California, bc of an invasive fruit fly species)
 Anyway...
 The bus driver makes an announcement: "We
 are being boarded by Border Patrol. Please be
 prepared to show your documentation upon
 request".
 WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK?
 So you know I'm ready to act an ASS.
 I stand up and say LOUDLY

 I stand up and say LOUDLY:
 THIS IS A VIOLATION OF YOUR 4TH
 AMENDMENT RIGHTS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO
 SHOW THEM *SHIT*! This is illegal. We are
 not within 100 miles of an international border
 so that have NO authority to ask you for
 ANYTHING. TELL THEM TO FUCK OFF!
 And, Since my Spanish sucks, I Google
 translated how to say that in Spanish and
 repeated myself:
 Esto es una violaciΓ³n de los derechos de su
 cuarta enmienda. Β‘No tienes que mostrarles
 nada! Esto es ilegal No cumples, y no tengas
 miedo. EstΓ‘n equivocados, y no dejaremos
 pasar esto
 The lady next to me did not speak English.
 She looked terrified. I reassured her that I had
 her back.
 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 'm not drivina this his so vou have NO

 The agents get on. Proceed to announce that
 they are about to start asking for
 "documentation" from people.
 I Stand up and yell "I'm not showing you shit!
 I'm not driving this bus, so you have NO
 RIGHT to ask me for anything! And the rest
 of you guys don't have to show them
 anything, either! This is harassment and
 racial profiling! Don't show them a gotdamn
 thing! We are not within 100 miles of a border
 so they have NO LEGAL RIGHT or jurisdiction
 here! GOOGLE IT!"
 The agents start to look exasperated,
 because they can see I'm wiling to act a
 WHOLE DONKEY. One of them said "Fine. We
 can see that you're a citizen because of your
 filthy mouth". And then they just said "go
 ahead" to the bus driver and got off.
 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when

 Point is: These border patrol officers act like
 they do because they EXPECT people to be
 afraid of them and just comply. The lady next
 to me spoke NO ENGLISH, but she was a very
 kind woman. She looked TERRIFIED when
 they boarded. I felt it was my duty to defend
 her. We DO NOT LIVE in Nazi Germany. No
 one should be asked to present "papers" for
 interstate travel. I defended her, and I
 defended myself. We DO NOT HAVE to just
 take this shit LYING down. What those
 officers did is WRONG and completely illegal.
 All it took was ONE LOUD ass Black woman to
 let them know WE ARE NOT WITH THE
 SHITS. FUCK Y'ALL. And they backed off.
 Use your voice. Take a risk. Act an ASS.
 Because if you let them intimidate the poor
 Spanish speaking woman next to you, who do
 you think they're coming for next?

Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"
                
            

            
            
Obnoxious Lady Uses Google Translate to Give a Speech and Border Patrol lets her go Because of her "Foul Mouth"

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
                
            

            
            
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake