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Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown ass man. This isbullshit." I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt worth the read
Being Alone, Ass, and Bad: I'm a 21 year-old male. I was out running my 2 miles. Headphones in, music playing, minding my own
 business. I round the corner at about the halfway point of the run and I see this big black duck looking at
 me. As I get closer, think to myself, "Man, that's a brave duck, why isn't he running away?" I keep running
 and realize the duck not only isn't afraid of me or running away, he's running right at me. So I stop and
 squat down, thinking maybe he was hurt and needed help or something. This bitch ass giant fucking black
 duck takes a huge bite out of my leg. Like, not playing, drew blood kinda bite
 I'm thinking to myself, "What the fuck?" So I'm like, maybe he's just an asshole and I keep running think he
 will leave me alone. I start running again and the faster Irun, the faster he chases me. I start sprinting and
 he is literally flying behind me attacking me. I'm thinking, "Ive got enough fucking problems in my life as it is
 man, I dont need this shit so I stop running again kinda like in disbelief trying to figure out what to do. In all
 my years of being a person, Ive never trained for this
 This little punk ass duck is chomping on my ankles and it's actually really hurting. He starts grabbing my
 shoelaces and untying them as I'm trying to run backwards away from him. Weve covered a quarter mile at
 this point. I try picking him up and throwing him back away from me every time he lunges for blood. I'm
 thinking, "How the fuck am I gonna explain this if I have to go to the doctor for a duck attack? I'm a grown
 ass man. This isbullshit."
 I try running again and he keeps flying after me. I'm at a loss. I dont know what to do at this point. I'm
 manage to get my phone and start texting my girlfriend, asking her what to do. Am I really gonna have to
 kill this duck to get away? Like, I don't want to, but I might have to actually fucking kick this duck or grab it
 by the neck? Seriously?" We have covered 3/4 of a mile at this point. He bites me again and I drop my
 phone. I pick it up quickly. Who do I call? I've got fucking scars and cuts all over me. While I'm debating
 whether stand-your-ground laws apply to ducks, I hear a noise; Someone else was outside walking on an
 adjacent street and came to see what all of the commotion was
 This was a big mistake. The duck smelled blood, and gave up attacking me to chase after my savior. I saw
 my window and booked it home running the last half mile in 2:50 flat. I feel kinda bad, that duck has
 probably killed that dude by now. The last saw of him was the look I took over my shoulder running away
 as he made the same mistake I did, looking down to see if the duck was hurt
worth the read

worth the read

America, Anaconda, and Isis: When your GDP growth is higher than anyone expected, ISIS is on the run, the stock market is skyrocketing, and China is cooperating with you against North Korea, but the media still says your presidency is a failure. Despite historic Democrat obstructionism, President Trump has worked with Congress to pass more legislation in his first 100 days than any President since Truman, appointed a Supreme Court Justice, withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership, dismantling Obama-Era Regulations, President Trump Has Reduced The Debt By Over $100 Billion, Illegal crossings from border down 61%, Stock market has gained over 3 trillion dollars since he was electedBest numbers from small businesses since 1984, Saved jobs from going overseas such as intel, wal-mart, exxon mobil, carrier, ford, general motors, fiat chrysler, sprint, one web, and softbank. Trump has also created over 1 million private sector jobs since january more than any other president liberal maga conservative constitution like follow presidenttrump resist stupidliberals merica america stupiddemocrats donaldtrump trump2016 patriot trump yeeyee presidentdonaldtrump draintheswamp makeamericagreatagain trumptrain triggered Partners --------------------- @too_savage_for_democrats🐍 @raised_right_🐘 @conservativemovement🎯 @millennial_republicans🇺🇸 @conservative.nation1776😎 @floridaconservatives🌴
America, Anaconda, and Isis: When your GDP growth is higher than
 anyone expected, ISIS is on the run,
 the stock market is skyrocketing, and
 China is cooperating with you against
 North Korea, but the media still says
 your presidency is a failure.
Despite historic Democrat obstructionism, President Trump has worked with Congress to pass more legislation in his first 100 days than any President since Truman, appointed a Supreme Court Justice, withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership, dismantling Obama-Era Regulations, President Trump Has Reduced The Debt By Over $100 Billion, Illegal crossings from border down 61%, Stock market has gained over 3 trillion dollars since he was electedBest numbers from small businesses since 1984, Saved jobs from going overseas such as intel, wal-mart, exxon mobil, carrier, ford, general motors, fiat chrysler, sprint, one web, and softbank. Trump has also created over 1 million private sector jobs since january more than any other president liberal maga conservative constitution like follow presidenttrump resist stupidliberals merica america stupiddemocrats donaldtrump trump2016 patriot trump yeeyee presidentdonaldtrump draintheswamp makeamericagreatagain trumptrain triggered Partners --------------------- @too_savage_for_democrats🐍 @raised_right_🐘 @conservativemovement🎯 @millennial_republicans🇺🇸 @conservative.nation1776😎 @floridaconservatives🌴

Despite historic Democrat obstructionism, President Trump has worked with Congress to pass more legislation in his first 100 days than any P...

Af, Ass, and Bad: Trang Nguyern @trangnnguyenn we our Chacos @DrSmashlove So I'm on the stairmaster tryina knock out this 103 steps per minute for 45 min right and I get to minute 38 and I'm cot damn feeling like I won't make it. My lungs are now coughing to try to draw air inside my body is like "MF WE WILL GO ON STRIKE U CAN ONLY PUT US THRU SO MUCH WE HAVE APPROVAL AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LOCAL 183 ELECTRICIANS BROTHERHOOD TO SHUT YO ASS DOWN BELEE DAT SHIT." But nah I kept going bc I AIN NO BISH (also, I'm stupid 🤗). So the pretty lil woman next to me say "sir.........are you ok(?)" And I wanted to be like "BISH DON'T U SEE MY SPEED RN? I AIN'T DOING 65 STEPS PER MINUTE LIKE U WHICH IS A RESPECTABLE SPEED FOR KICKING YOUR LEGS OUT BEHIND U TO BUILD THAT UNDERBUTT-CREASE BC U TRYING TO GET A ASS THE NATURAL WAY AND NOT THE KARDASHIAN POOPY DIAPER SURGERY WAY BUT THIS SHIT LIKE SPRINTING UP A MOUNTAIN COT DAMMIT YES I'M OK LET A BROTHER BREAVE 😤." But I didn't say that. I didn't say that shit at all 😂. I said "ayeeee you don't have to call me sir! I'm not THAT old. I only have six grandkids ... THAT I KNOW ABOUT LOL LEMME STOP LYING I AIN OLD ENUF TO BE A GRANDPA HAHAHAHA I'M STUPID WYD THO." And she immeejally reply "ha! You got me beat. My first grand kid was just born so I have a while before I catch up!" Hold the damn phone bruh. She was pretty AF too. Like the math ain een make no damn sense. She 30? What did she do, have a daughter at age 15 and then THAT daughter had a baby at age 15? Or maybe she 45? Like she Lululemon down - and where she get the money for all this? And then I pictured her meeting a sweet old glucose guardian who was like "I don't mind that you have kids - I never wanted them - but I'll treat yours like mine ☺️" and took care of her and now she living good AND THEN I REALIZED MAYBE SHE GOT HER OWN DAMN MONEY WHY SHE GOTTA BE A KEPT WOMAN MAYBE SHE INDEPENDENT AF SHAME ON ME SMASH FOR ASSUMING SHIT. Then I said "LOL NO WAY YOU'RE GORGEOUS! 😬" That's all I said. And then she said "aw bless your heart you're cute LOL." That was it. If u think I'm not gonna share my nonsensical stories with y'all YALL ARE WRONG I SHARE THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE MEANINGLESS BLESS UP 😂😂😂
Af, Ass, and Bad: Trang Nguyern
 @trangnnguyenn
 we our Chacos
 @DrSmashlove
So I'm on the stairmaster tryina knock out this 103 steps per minute for 45 min right and I get to minute 38 and I'm cot damn feeling like I won't make it. My lungs are now coughing to try to draw air inside my body is like "MF WE WILL GO ON STRIKE U CAN ONLY PUT US THRU SO MUCH WE HAVE APPROVAL AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LOCAL 183 ELECTRICIANS BROTHERHOOD TO SHUT YO ASS DOWN BELEE DAT SHIT." But nah I kept going bc I AIN NO BISH (also, I'm stupid 🤗). So the pretty lil woman next to me say "sir.........are you ok(?)" And I wanted to be like "BISH DON'T U SEE MY SPEED RN? I AIN'T DOING 65 STEPS PER MINUTE LIKE U WHICH IS A RESPECTABLE SPEED FOR KICKING YOUR LEGS OUT BEHIND U TO BUILD THAT UNDERBUTT-CREASE BC U TRYING TO GET A ASS THE NATURAL WAY AND NOT THE KARDASHIAN POOPY DIAPER SURGERY WAY BUT THIS SHIT LIKE SPRINTING UP A MOUNTAIN COT DAMMIT YES I'M OK LET A BROTHER BREAVE 😤." But I didn't say that. I didn't say that shit at all 😂. I said "ayeeee you don't have to call me sir! I'm not THAT old. I only have six grandkids ... THAT I KNOW ABOUT LOL LEMME STOP LYING I AIN OLD ENUF TO BE A GRANDPA HAHAHAHA I'M STUPID WYD THO." And she immeejally reply "ha! You got me beat. My first grand kid was just born so I have a while before I catch up!" Hold the damn phone bruh. She was pretty AF too. Like the math ain een make no damn sense. She 30? What did she do, have a daughter at age 15 and then THAT daughter had a baby at age 15? Or maybe she 45? Like she Lululemon down - and where she get the money for all this? And then I pictured her meeting a sweet old glucose guardian who was like "I don't mind that you have kids - I never wanted them - but I'll treat yours like mine ☺️" and took care of her and now she living good AND THEN I REALIZED MAYBE SHE GOT HER OWN DAMN MONEY WHY SHE GOTTA BE A KEPT WOMAN MAYBE SHE INDEPENDENT AF SHAME ON ME SMASH FOR ASSUMING SHIT. Then I said "LOL NO WAY YOU'RE GORGEOUS! 😬" That's all I said. And then she said "aw bless your heart you're cute LOL." That was it. If u think I'm not gonna share my nonsensical stories with y'all YALL ARE WRONG I SHARE THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE MEANINGLESS BLESS UP 😂😂😂

So I'm on the stairmaster tryina knock out this 103 steps per minute for 45 min right and I get to minute 38 and I'm cot damn feeling like I...