You and the homies in your crew.

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Ass, Bailey Jay, and Crazy: When you can't remember if you pulled out or not & she's tweeting "My stomach hurts" Chapter 1 Conception: It was me and my niggas was posted up in the testis when the emergency broadcast system begins to go off from head quarters, telling us we had a mission to do. Its crazy how fast things can turn into a hard situation. Its about 200 million of us deep ready to dp work. We hop on the mothership โ€œBig black destroyerโ€ and began our way to the mission site. Situation getting fishy and I donโ€™t eat Anchovies. The squad faced adversity with heavy rain word to Hurricane Harvey. Both back engines were burst and we were forced to make a emergency evacuation. one by one all my niggas were vacuumed out their respective pods. Itโ€™s my turn and I go and land on the landing Zone. I look around and my homies and dying left and right. Not everyone can make this journey. We begin pushing forward to the Goal. It looked like the million man march. Im swimming fast as fuck to be first. Iโ€™m surely not the fastest one in the pack. I toss a flash bang to blind the ones in front of me. I use my turbo boost and shot passed them. A Nigga was swimming like Michael Phelps. I get to the finish line and look back to see where my homies is at. Not one to be found. Im trapped into a sticky matrix. I began to notice overtime i was taking on a new transformation. I looked like Goku in the Medical Machine. Getting stronger, growing new body parts, shit done changed. My momma was in labor for 12 hours. She shot me out like a cannon ball. It took the power of a true Sayian queen to release me from this inprisionment. Im finally free. I felt like Oj when he first came out. The light hit me like solar flare i tried to run from it and couldnโ€™t. The doctor holding me checking out my dick. Homie slapped my ass like i was some $10 stripper. Nigga was trying to cut my dick but i wasnโ€™t having it. I peed in his mouth miss me with that gay shit. That day legend was born. All my friends are dead. She pushed me to the edge. (Follow @Genuineguy if tagged or laughed for more )
Ass, Bailey Jay, and Crazy: When you can't remember if you
 pulled out or not & she's tweeting "My
 stomach hurts"
Chapter 1 Conception: It was me and my niggas was posted up in the testis when the emergency broadcast system begins to go off from head quarters, telling us we had a mission to do. Its crazy how fast things can turn into a hard situation. Its about 200 million of us deep ready to dp work. We hop on the mothership โ€œBig black destroyerโ€ and began our way to the mission site. Situation getting fishy and I donโ€™t eat Anchovies. The squad faced adversity with heavy rain word to Hurricane Harvey. Both back engines were burst and we were forced to make a emergency evacuation. one by one all my niggas were vacuumed out their respective pods. Itโ€™s my turn and I go and land on the landing Zone. I look around and my homies and dying left and right. Not everyone can make this journey. We begin pushing forward to the Goal. It looked like the million man march. Im swimming fast as fuck to be first. Iโ€™m surely not the fastest one in the pack. I toss a flash bang to blind the ones in front of me. I use my turbo boost and shot passed them. A Nigga was swimming like Michael Phelps. I get to the finish line and look back to see where my homies is at. Not one to be found. Im trapped into a sticky matrix. I began to notice overtime i was taking on a new transformation. I looked like Goku in the Medical Machine. Getting stronger, growing new body parts, shit done changed. My momma was in labor for 12 hours. She shot me out like a cannon ball. It took the power of a true Sayian queen to release me from this inprisionment. Im finally free. I felt like Oj when he first came out. The light hit me like solar flare i tried to run from it and couldnโ€™t. The doctor holding me checking out my dick. Homie slapped my ass like i was some $10 stripper. Nigga was trying to cut my dick but i wasnโ€™t having it. I peed in his mouth miss me with that gay shit. That day legend was born. All my friends are dead. She pushed me to the edge. (Follow @Genuineguy if tagged or laughed for more )

Chapter 1 Conception: It was me and my niggas was posted up in the testis when the emergency broadcast system begins to go off from head qua...

Asian, Ass, and Baseball: My tow truck driver and his lil buddy. Pic: reddit u/Slowhand09 @DrSmashlove Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on women. Ladies - if u love yo natural body - I love it too. Or if u identify as a gender that doesnโ€™t match your biological sex (thank u to my lil homegirl for explaining this to me), I love u too. If u EVER come to this page and feel โ€œotheredโ€ or ostracized, tell me! Itโ€™s never my intent. Sometimes my lack of intellect and understanding translates the love in my heart into words that can be hurtful, and I ALWAYS expect yโ€™all to teach me and educate me so I can be a better man out here. Second, I implied that the prototypic female sports fan has a blond pony tail sticking out the back of her baseball cap. My extremely wise sister from another mister @tamashar quickly pointed out that sheโ€™s a football fan and does not, in fact, have a blond pony tail. It is axiomatic that itโ€™s sisters out here that love sports. The thing is, when I write, I imagine a story in my head, and I type it out and give it to yโ€™all. So I imagined a loud ass blond girl at a Wrigleyville bar in a faded cubs cap wearing her ex boyfriendโ€™s oversized J Crew hoodie (that she kept because FVCK HIM ๐Ÿค—) barking loudly and drunkenly about her favorite (and least favorite) cubs players: โ€œOMG GET RID OF PEDRO STROP ALREADY HEโ€™S SUCH A - *WHY* DOES MADDON PUT HIM IN - HE SUCKS - CAN I GET A STELLA OR WHAT I NEED A DRINKY - Oh shit Kelly - kyle texted me - gotta go lol cover my beer baby byeeeeeโ€ <โ€” if u got a girl like this in yo squad, tag her ๐Ÿค—. Anyway I never meant to exclude my sisters, my Latinas, my Asian home girls, etc - they all got ladies that will school u - smash is never exclusionary only inclusionary. Thatโ€™s all I got. Now donโ€™t comment โ€œSMASH STOP APOLOGIZINGโ€ - I donโ€™t do it to be politically correct! (scroll back and tell me if Iโ€™ve EVER been politically correct ๐Ÿ˜‚) - I make these statement to show GROWTH and I hope I never stop growing! Iโ€™ve always been a grower ๐ŸŒ bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Asian, Ass, and Baseball: My tow truck driver and his lil buddy.
 Pic: reddit u/Slowhand09
 @DrSmashlove
Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on women. Ladies - if u love yo natural body - I love it too. Or if u identify as a gender that doesnโ€™t match your biological sex (thank u to my lil homegirl for explaining this to me), I love u too. If u EVER come to this page and feel โ€œotheredโ€ or ostracized, tell me! Itโ€™s never my intent. Sometimes my lack of intellect and understanding translates the love in my heart into words that can be hurtful, and I ALWAYS expect yโ€™all to teach me and educate me so I can be a better man out here. Second, I implied that the prototypic female sports fan has a blond pony tail sticking out the back of her baseball cap. My extremely wise sister from another mister @tamashar quickly pointed out that sheโ€™s a football fan and does not, in fact, have a blond pony tail. It is axiomatic that itโ€™s sisters out here that love sports. The thing is, when I write, I imagine a story in my head, and I type it out and give it to yโ€™all. So I imagined a loud ass blond girl at a Wrigleyville bar in a faded cubs cap wearing her ex boyfriendโ€™s oversized J Crew hoodie (that she kept because FVCK HIM ๐Ÿค—) barking loudly and drunkenly about her favorite (and least favorite) cubs players: โ€œOMG GET RID OF PEDRO STROP ALREADY HEโ€™S SUCH A - *WHY* DOES MADDON PUT HIM IN - HE SUCKS - CAN I GET A STELLA OR WHAT I NEED A DRINKY - Oh shit Kelly - kyle texted me - gotta go lol cover my beer baby byeeeeeโ€ <โ€” if u got a girl like this in yo squad, tag her ๐Ÿค—. Anyway I never meant to exclude my sisters, my Latinas, my Asian home girls, etc - they all got ladies that will school u - smash is never exclusionary only inclusionary. Thatโ€™s all I got. Now donโ€™t comment โ€œSMASH STOP APOLOGIZINGโ€ - I donโ€™t do it to be politically correct! (scroll back and tell me if Iโ€™ve EVER been politically correct ๐Ÿ˜‚) - I make these statement to show GROWTH and I hope I never stop growing! Iโ€™ve always been a grower ๐ŸŒ bless up ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Aight. Two real quick follow-ups on my post about girls and sports (from Sunday.) First, I take back the comment about hairy armpits on wome...