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Anaconda, Anna, and Community: hobbit-hole if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo because i would easily win hobbit-hole all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim penny-anna you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D hobbit-hole this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that would be considered playing dirty penny anna for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought into fighting Frodo. animate-mush OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin. First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the same time Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset. Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself) And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you penny-anna Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on ainurs Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be killed by Boromir feynites So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits. Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight train tbh. So here's what you do You fight Legolas. The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he might also take his shirt off. Bonus! Anyway Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener yeah? icescrabblerjerky okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you thank you all you are the true fellowship here. Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 32,148 notes The Tolkien discourse is getting violent
Anaconda, Anna, and Community: hobbit-hole
 if i had to get in a fistfight with any member of the fellowship it would be Frodo
 because i would easily win
 hobbit-hole
 all i am saying is that he would ostensibly be the easiest one to take on in a fight
 given that he's like three feet tall and has led a life of (physical) leisure
 compared to all of the others due to his standing as a gentlehobbit
 legolas, aragorn, and gimli are all used to combat, sam works as a gardener
 merry and pippin often gallivant off and get into mischief so they have the
 advantage of experience in whatever it is they've gotten up to/would possibly
 fight dirty, gandalf is gandalf so while weapons are out of the question i suppose
 that depends on if magic is involved. i don't think i could take him without magic
 even if he is old because he's a very large guy, but maybe
 it would be my knuckles against Frodo's baby soft poet hands, plus rve got the
 additional height and fighting experience. i just think that he would be the easiest
 to win against in hand-to-hand combat out of the rest of them. also he isn't real
 so he can't offer a rebuttal to my claim
 penny-anna
 you're absolutely correct BUT wanting to fight Frodo makes you a monster D
 hobbit-hole
 this has nothing to do with WANTING to fight Frodo, i just think he would be
 easiest for me to beat in a fight with no weapons. unless he utilized his very
 large feet, but i think he's too polite to do that because it's a fist fight and that
 would be considered playing dirty
 penny anna
 for someone who doesn't want to fight Frodo you sure have put a lot of thought
 into fighting Frodo.
 animate-mush
 OP is wrong though: you fight Pippin.
 First off, Pippin has it coming, so you won't be fighting your conscience at the
 same time
 Secondly, Pippin is a spoiled rich kid. He's no less gentry than Frodo is, but
 Frodo works out and is shown to have better stamina, at least at the outset.
 Pippin is also both the stupidest and the slowest of the hobbits. They both nearly
 beat one (1) troll, so that's comparable, but Pippin appears not to have got a
 single hit in against the orcs that captured them while Merry was cutting off
 hands like a boss. Pippin also straight-up tell Bergil that he's not a fighter
 Also there's a nonzero chance that Frodo will just straight up curse you (if the
 guilt of fighting Frodo isn't enough if a curse by itself)
 And, of course, if you try to fight Frodo, you will 100% end up fighting Sam, and
 he will wreck you (and you'll deserve it, you
 penny-anna
 Also: if you fight Frodo you'll have a very angry Sam & possibly also the entire
 Fellowship to deal with BUT if you fight Pippin they will probably cheer you on
 ainurs
 Bold of you to assume one could attempt to fight Pippin and NOT instantly be
 killed by Boromir
 feynites
 So here's the thing - you absolutely DO NOT want to try and fight Frodo or
 Pippin because they are going to be protected by the rest of the Fellowship
 which basically exists to stop asshole Big People from picking on the hobbits.
 Folk might talk a big game but when the chips are down, you are not going to lay
 a single hand on any of the hobbits. Either you'll find yourself immediately
 fighting all four of them or else you'll move to land your first hit and suddenly
 Aragorn will side-tackle you into the trees. And he probably hits like a freight
 train tbh.
 So here's what you do
 You fight Legolas.
 The thing about fist-fighting Legolas of course is that you will lose. This is not a
 fight you're gonna win no matter what. But Legolas has his standing competition
 with Gimili, so once the challenge is issued, he's not gonna let anyone else step
 in and fight you either. No one is liable to volunteer on his behalf, either, so you
 will only end up fighting the one member of the fellowship. If you are lucky he
 might also take his shirt off. Bonus!
 Anyway
 Legolas will mop the floor with you, but he's also already convinced you're
 weaker than him anyway because you're not an elf, so he's gonna go kind of
 easy on you And when you lose he will be all snide and superior about it, which
 means everyone in the fellowship is gonna sympathize with you, and Gimli will
 probably challenge him on your behalf afterwards, but here's the key thing
 You will have lost a fist-fight to an immortal warrior prince
 That's a way better loss to cop to than that time you tried to fistfight a pudgy
 gentlehobbit and got beaten to the point of unconsciousness by his gardener
 yeah?
 icescrabblerjerky
 okay so tolkien tumblr is fast becoming my fave tumblr community thank you
 thank you all you are the true fellowship here.
 Source:hobbit-hole #mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
 32,148 notes
The Tolkien discourse is getting violent

The Tolkien discourse is getting violent

Beautiful, Christmas, and College: - File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e().png (204 KB, 1063x1063) Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No.48770954 [Reply] >48771097 >>48 48772649 29 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet >live with parents >unmarried sister gets preggers because of her bf and doesn't want the kid, but doesn't want to abort either >kid is born, beautiful boy >she abandons him at parents home to pursue her dead entng career parents, and i basically take care of him love him like my own son, he calls me papa son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him happier start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him >son is great at academics, gets As start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my son together work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company >son has gone to univ this year parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time sister is still struggling with hectigcar (son calls her auntie Imao son is coming home for christmas can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably jumped off a building to end my pathetic life Any other parents here? This green text story warmed my heart (somehow)
Beautiful, Christmas, and College: - File: 3fb85ce1580af24d83f6bde17301e0fe85e().png (204 KB, 1063x1063)
 Parents of /r9k/ Anonymous
 10/18/18(Thu)11:30:47 No.48770954 [Reply]
 >48771097 >>48
 48772649
 29
 >be 19 yr old kv suicidal depressed neet
 >live with parents
 >unmarried sister gets preggers
 because of her bf and doesn't want the
 kid, but doesn't want to abort either
 >kid is born, beautiful boy
 >she abandons him at parents home to
 pursue her dead entng
 career
 parents, and i basically take care of
 him
 love him like my own son, he calls me papa
 son grows up fine, i get warehouse job to have more money to make him
 happier
 start jogging in the morning to have enough stamina to play with him
 >son is great at academics, gets As
 start getting along better with my own parents since we're taking care of my
 son together
 work harder and get promoted, more money to buy son toys
 >experience first hand what raising a child is like, love him
 now am 36 yrs old kv with a managerial job at a shipping company
 >son has gone to univ this year
 parents and i are very lonely with nothing to do all day
 wait for son's call in the back of our heads all the time
 sister is still struggling with hectigcar (son calls her auntie
 Imao
 son is coming home for christmas
 can't decide what to do to celebrate his first year at college
 almost know for certain that if son hadn't been born, i would've probably
 jumped off a building to end my pathetic life
 Any other parents here?
This green text story warmed my heart (somehow)

This green text story warmed my heart (somehow)

Children, Crying, and Fall: My mother taught me.. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside I just finished cleaning." RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" LOGIC. "Because I said so, that's why." MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." FORESIGHT Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.." OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth and eat your supper." CONTORTIONIST. Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck! STAMINA... "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone." WEATHER. This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times Don't exaggerate!" CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.." BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION Stop acting like your father" ENVY "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do." ANTICIPATION Just wait until we get home." RECEIVING "You are going to get it when you get home!" MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way." ESP. Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?" HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow fr GENETICS. You're just like your father." ROOTS Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?" WISDOM "When you get to be my age, you'll understand." JUSTICE One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!! THE META PICTURE <p><a href="https://epicjohndoe.tumblr.com/post/172737627964/things-you-can-only-learn-from-your-mother" class="tumblr_blog">epicjohndoe</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Things You Can Only Learn From Your Mother</p></blockquote>
Children, Crying, and Fall: My mother
 taught me..
 TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
 "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside
 I just finished cleaning."
 RELIGION
 "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
 TIME TRAVEL
 "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock
 you into the middle of next week!"
 LOGIC.
 "Because I said so, that's why."
 MORE LOGIC
 "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
 you're not going to the store with me."
 FORESIGHT
 Make sure you wear clean underwear,
 in case you're in an accident."
 IRONY.
 "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry
 about.."
 OSMOSIS.
 "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
 CONTORTIONIST.
 Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!
 STAMINA...
 "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
 WEATHER.
 This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through
 HYPOCRISY
 "If I told you once, I've told you a million times
 Don't exaggerate!"
 CIRCLE OF LIFE.
 "I brought you into this world, and I can take you
 out.."
 BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
 Stop acting like your father"
 ENVY
 "There are millions of less fortunate children in
 this world who don't have wonderful parents like you
 do."
 ANTICIPATION
 Just wait until we get home."
 RECEIVING
 "You are going to get it when you get home!"
 MEDICAL SCIENCE
 "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are
 going to get stuck that way."
 ESP.
 Put your sweater on; don't you think
 I know when you are cold?"
 HUMOR.
 "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
 don't come running to me."
 HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
 "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow
 fr
 GENETICS.
 You're just like your father."
 ROOTS
 Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
 born in a barn?"
 WISDOM
 "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
 JUSTICE
 One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn
 out just like you!!
 THE META PICTURE
<p><a href="https://epicjohndoe.tumblr.com/post/172737627964/things-you-can-only-learn-from-your-mother" class="tumblr_blog">epicjohndoe</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Things You Can Only Learn From Your Mother</p></blockquote>

epicjohndoe: Things You Can Only Learn From Your Mother