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Broomstick, Cheating, and Children: THE TELETUBBIES HAVE OFFICIALLY HAD KIDS FEEL OLD YET? <p><a href="https://cannibalchicken.tumblr.com/post/174957050619/striffyisme-striderai-forwhateveryouwant" class="tumblr_blog">cannibalchicken</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://striffyisme.tumblr.com/post/173845324103/striderai-forwhateveryouwant" class="tumblr_blog">striffyisme</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://striderai.tumblr.com/post/173817591350/forwhateveryouwant-imagine-sebstan" class="tumblr_blog">striderai</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://forwhateveryouwant.tumblr.com/post/173756489918/imagine-sebstan-thenightling-woodelf68" class="tumblr_blog">forwhateveryouwant</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://imagine-sebstan.tumblr.com/post/172034301588/thenightling-woodelf68-moneysltd" class="tumblr_blog">imagine-sebstan</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://thenightling.tumblr.com/post/172025095443/woodelf68-moneysltd-moldyfingers" class="tumblr_blog">thenightling</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://woodelf68.tumblr.com/post/172025024354/moneysltd-moldyfingers" class="tumblr_blog">woodelf68</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://moneysltd.tumblr.com/post/171964940737/moldyfingers-termytheantisocialbutterfly" class="tumblr_blog">moneysltd</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://moldyfingers.tumblr.com/post/171937063091/termytheantisocialbutterfly-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">moldyfingers</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://termytheantisocialbutterfly.tumblr.com/post/171932194775/libertarirynn-are-you-telling-me-that-the" class="tumblr_blog">termytheantisocialbutterfly</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/171931882199/are-you-telling-me-that-the-teletubbies-have" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>Are you telling me that the Teletubbies have, canonically, fucked? Because I am very uncomfortable with that information.</p></blockquote> <p>Um wat</p> </blockquote> <p>turns out they’re called the tiddlytubbies and they have names</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1161" data-orig-width="778"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4a3ab3c74f7e20cd8be53a86ff20bf16/tumblr_inline_p5p445rlGU1t1rsqs_540.png" data-orig-height="1161" data-orig-width="778"/></figure><p>most likely umby pumby is la la’s kid and duggle dee is po’s. Yellow and red make orange, so Po and La La got together to have Ruru. </p> <p>Nin is purple, so that one is Tinky Winky’s. Dipsy’s is Daa daa because they’re both green. but look at daa daa’s antenna. seems a bit similar to la la’s no? la la and dipsy had some shit on the side.  </p> <p>po, that other cheating fuck, had ping with tinky winky because ping is pink and that’s suspiciously similar to red and purple. also check out that fucking antenna. same as tinky winky’s. can’t hide the facts. po and la la were cheating on each other and now they have a shit ton of kids to pretend aren’t theirs. </p> <p>tinky winky and dipsy also aren’t innocent in this. the actual color of mi mi is an aqua green. green and blue. dipsy and tinky winky had mi mi AND they probably had Baa too. they had TWO KIDS and they’re off getting some tubby custard on the side. </p> <p>scandals galore in that damn superdome. </p> </blockquote> <p>A diagram for everyone who does not understand either. I found that the only pairs who had not had children together according to the above were Po and Dipsy, and Tinkywanky and Lala. Coincidentally Po, Lala and Tinkywanky all have children with only one confirmed parent. Considering the amount of cheating going on here, its quite likely that these children were the product of these pairs which have supposedly not boned. The suspected parents of these children have been indicated with dotted lines. An orgy happened here.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="377" data-orig-width="751"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/dca9f8fa7825674da10267d74e6d1dc7/tumblr_inline_p5qq458OMk1s3pojy_540.png" data-orig-height="377" data-orig-width="751"/></figure></blockquote> <p>I’m just gonna…reblog this without comment. </p> </blockquote> <p>…. </p> <p>*Stares*</p> <p>…Why?</p> </blockquote> <p>If I’m cursed with this information, you have to be too. </p> </blockquote> <p>Bold of you to assume it was cheating and they weren’t all in on it together</p> </blockquote> <p>god damn it this is the poly rep we deserve</p> </blockquote> <p>Are we all just going to over look the fact you’re calling them Tinkywanky?</p> </blockquote><p>Can the internet just like… not?</p></blockquote> <p>This post got a lot more interesting since I first made it.</p>
Broomstick, Cheating, and Children: THE TELETUBBIES
 HAVE OFFICIALLY HAD KIDS
 FEEL OLD YET?
<p><a href="https://cannibalchicken.tumblr.com/post/174957050619/striffyisme-striderai-forwhateveryouwant" class="tumblr_blog">cannibalchicken</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://striffyisme.tumblr.com/post/173845324103/striderai-forwhateveryouwant" class="tumblr_blog">striffyisme</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://striderai.tumblr.com/post/173817591350/forwhateveryouwant-imagine-sebstan" class="tumblr_blog">striderai</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://forwhateveryouwant.tumblr.com/post/173756489918/imagine-sebstan-thenightling-woodelf68" class="tumblr_blog">forwhateveryouwant</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://imagine-sebstan.tumblr.com/post/172034301588/thenightling-woodelf68-moneysltd" class="tumblr_blog">imagine-sebstan</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://thenightling.tumblr.com/post/172025095443/woodelf68-moneysltd-moldyfingers" class="tumblr_blog">thenightling</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://woodelf68.tumblr.com/post/172025024354/moneysltd-moldyfingers" class="tumblr_blog">woodelf68</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://moneysltd.tumblr.com/post/171964940737/moldyfingers-termytheantisocialbutterfly" class="tumblr_blog">moneysltd</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://moldyfingers.tumblr.com/post/171937063091/termytheantisocialbutterfly-libertarirynn" class="tumblr_blog">moldyfingers</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://termytheantisocialbutterfly.tumblr.com/post/171932194775/libertarirynn-are-you-telling-me-that-the" class="tumblr_blog">termytheantisocialbutterfly</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/171931882199/are-you-telling-me-that-the-teletubbies-have" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>Are you telling me that the Teletubbies have, canonically, fucked? Because I am very uncomfortable with that information.</p></blockquote>

<p>Um wat</p>
</blockquote>
<p>turns out they’re called the tiddlytubbies and they have names</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="1161" data-orig-width="778"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/4a3ab3c74f7e20cd8be53a86ff20bf16/tumblr_inline_p5p445rlGU1t1rsqs_540.png" data-orig-height="1161" data-orig-width="778"/></figure><p>most likely umby pumby is la la’s kid and duggle dee is po’s. Yellow and red make orange, so Po and La La got together to have Ruru. </p>
<p>Nin is purple, so that one is Tinky Winky’s. Dipsy’s is Daa daa because they’re both green. but look at daa daa’s antenna. seems a bit similar to la la’s no? la la and dipsy had some shit on the side.  </p>
<p>po, that other cheating fuck, had ping with tinky winky because ping is pink and that’s suspiciously similar to red and purple. also check out that fucking antenna. same as tinky winky’s. can’t hide the facts. po and la la were cheating on each other and now they have a shit ton of kids to pretend aren’t theirs. </p>
<p>tinky winky and dipsy also aren’t innocent in this. the actual color of mi mi is an aqua green. green and blue. dipsy and tinky winky had mi mi AND they probably had Baa too. they had TWO KIDS and they’re off getting some tubby custard on the side. </p>
<p>scandals galore in that damn superdome. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>A diagram for everyone who does not understand either. I found that the only pairs who had not had children together according to the above were Po and Dipsy, and Tinkywanky and Lala. Coincidentally Po, Lala and Tinkywanky all have children with only one confirmed parent. Considering the amount of cheating going on here, its quite likely that these children were the product of these pairs which have supposedly not boned. The suspected parents of these children have been indicated with dotted lines. An orgy happened here.</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="377" data-orig-width="751"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/dca9f8fa7825674da10267d74e6d1dc7/tumblr_inline_p5qq458OMk1s3pojy_540.png" data-orig-height="377" data-orig-width="751"/></figure></blockquote>
<p>I’m just gonna…reblog this without comment. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>…. </p>
<p>*Stares*</p>
<p>…Why?</p>
</blockquote>

<p>If I’m cursed with this information, you have to be too. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>Bold of you to assume it was cheating and they weren’t all in on it together</p>
</blockquote>

<p>god damn it this is the poly rep we deserve</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Are we all just going to over look the fact you’re calling them Tinkywanky?</p>
</blockquote><p>Can the internet just like… not?</p></blockquote>

<p>This post got a lot more interesting since I first made it.</p>

<p><a href="https://cannibalchicken.tumblr.com/post/174957050619/striffyisme-striderai-forwhateveryouwant" class="tumblr_blog">cannibalchick...

Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: <p><a href="http://dandalf-thegay.tumblr.com/post/170994119442/fire-is-her-water-abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">dandalf-thegay</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170978939399/abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://abracataako.tumblr.com/post/170977403414/merak-zoran-fire-is-her-water-my-doggo" class="tumblr_blog">abracataako</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="https://merak-zoran.tumblr.com/post/170945654705/fire-is-her-water-my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely" class="tumblr_blog">merak-zoran</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170937226484/my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely-barks-and-mostly" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.</p> <p>When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.</p> </blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450" data-tumblr-attribution="haidaspicciare:Vvry4LUoHrTPODcAw0X2rg:ZZ1zKu2H9aKW8"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0c698113783e768cd579290e10b982/tumblr_ojqyq1lvEu1rfd7lko1_500.gif" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450"/></figure></blockquote> <p>What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!</p> </blockquote> <p>I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D</p> <p>She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:<br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c9b4183360780f25ae0246e4093236d4/tumblr_inline_p4av9rC8lr1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6fbcd9d00f5d178ad5a57247e169ae3d/tumblr_inline_p4avj7v8p71taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720"/></figure><p>I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/28103164a1804f04c927f4d5d92e0785/tumblr_inline_p4avotFTgi1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: </p> <figure data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/765773d5f40b9b10091954f05973436b/tumblr_inline_p4avayOJTA1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377"/></figure><p>She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f2531b609cc6f2e3e667bb0d0c79c4fd/tumblr_inline_p4awjt4pn61taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.<br/></p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d03e54315c30750849ea112991a589c1/tumblr_inline_p4awju9pfx1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe</p> <figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e7ddb530d8d4bdd3ce68e2bab5182a83/tumblr_inline_p4avxkn88v1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540" data-tumblr-attribution="totaldivasepisodes:5mAijUxQ3lybBv2Savbs6A:Zk6RCm2MvpxDg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/338914e4736d1041dc64f93bc1200655/tumblr_orttucRhYW1u1ljrzo1_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote>
Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: <p><a href="http://dandalf-thegay.tumblr.com/post/170994119442/fire-is-her-water-abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">dandalf-thegay</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170978939399/abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://abracataako.tumblr.com/post/170977403414/merak-zoran-fire-is-her-water-my-doggo" class="tumblr_blog">abracataako</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="https://merak-zoran.tumblr.com/post/170945654705/fire-is-her-water-my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely" class="tumblr_blog">merak-zoran</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://fire-is-her-water.tumblr.com/post/170937226484/my-doggo-ezri-who-rarely-barks-and-mostly" class="tumblr_blog">fire-is-her-water</a>:</p>

<blockquote>
<p>My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.</p>

<p>When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.</p>
</blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450" data-tumblr-attribution="haidaspicciare:Vvry4LUoHrTPODcAw0X2rg:ZZ1zKu2H9aKW8"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ef0c698113783e768cd579290e10b982/tumblr_ojqyq1lvEu1rfd7lko1_500.gif" data-orig-height="248" data-orig-width="450"/></figure></blockquote>

<p>What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D</p>
<p>She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:<br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c9b4183360780f25ae0246e4093236d4/tumblr_inline_p4av9rC8lr1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/6fbcd9d00f5d178ad5a57247e169ae3d/tumblr_inline_p4avj7v8p71taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="720"/></figure><p>I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/28103164a1804f04c927f4d5d92e0785/tumblr_inline_p4avotFTgi1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: </p>
<figure data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/765773d5f40b9b10091954f05973436b/tumblr_inline_p4avayOJTA1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="2048" data-orig-height="1377"/></figure><p>She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/f2531b609cc6f2e3e667bb0d0c79c4fd/tumblr_inline_p4awjt4pn61taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.<br/></p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/d03e54315c30750849ea112991a589c1/tumblr_inline_p4awju9pfx1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure><p>ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe</p>
<figure data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960" class="tmblr-full"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e7ddb530d8d4bdd3ce68e2bab5182a83/tumblr_inline_p4avxkn88v1taoskn_540.jpg" alt="image" data-orig-width="1280" data-orig-height="960"/></figure></blockquote>

<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540" data-tumblr-attribution="totaldivasepisodes:5mAijUxQ3lybBv2Savbs6A:Zk6RCm2MvpxDg"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/338914e4736d1041dc64f93bc1200655/tumblr_orttucRhYW1u1ljrzo1_540.gif" data-orig-height="300" data-orig-width="540"/></figure></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://dandalf-thegay.tumblr.com/post/170994119442/fire-is-her-water-abracataako-merak-zoran" class="tumblr_blog">dandalf-thegay...

Ass, Basketball, and Clothes: DEATHWISH @lorddthisdick I don't trust no nigga that wear basketball shorts under their pants 1/28/18, 1:56 AM View Tweet activity 108 Retweets 273 Likes busy boy @bashfuLbert 1/28/18 Replying to @lorddthisdick its convenient, and u can get crossed @ Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY NOTHING TO ME BOYYYYYY." "We got plenty to eat a home anyway." "I've been eating that meatloaf hologram for 3 days straight and I've lost 7 pounds. Please." "I'll think about it." *raises false hope* *approaches McDonalds* *anxiety peaks* *drives past it* *stares at it as it gets smaller and smaller* *tears silently roll down face* "You better not be crying back there." *thinks about running away* "I told yo ass we got food at home." *arrives at home* "I'm going to bed, don't bother me." *mom goes to bed* *walks back into kitchen* *opens refrigerator* *eggs, ketchup, bologna, a bottle of water* *throws a silent tantrum* "Fuck this and fuck you." *goes back to room and grabs bookbag* *stuffs clothes into it* *marches back to kitchen* *opens refrige- "Holup, THERE AINT NO FUCKING FOOD TO EVEN TAKE!" *swings backpack into the window* *glass shatters* *tries to jump out, cuts leg open on glass* *falls face-first on the concrete* *goes unconscious*
Ass, Basketball, and Clothes: DEATHWISH
 @lorddthisdick
 I don't trust no nigga that wear
 basketball shorts under their pants
 1/28/18, 1:56 AM
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 busy boy @bashfuLbert 1/28/18
 Replying to @lorddthisdick
 its convenient, and u can get crossed @
Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY NOTHING TO ME BOYYYYYY." "We got plenty to eat a home anyway." "I've been eating that meatloaf hologram for 3 days straight and I've lost 7 pounds. Please." "I'll think about it." *raises false hope* *approaches McDonalds* *anxiety peaks* *drives past it* *stares at it as it gets smaller and smaller* *tears silently roll down face* "You better not be crying back there." *thinks about running away* "I told yo ass we got food at home." *arrives at home* "I'm going to bed, don't bother me." *mom goes to bed* *walks back into kitchen* *opens refrigerator* *eggs, ketchup, bologna, a bottle of water* *throws a silent tantrum* "Fuck this and fuck you." *goes back to room and grabs bookbag* *stuffs clothes into it* *marches back to kitchen* *opens refrige- "Holup, THERE AINT NO FUCKING FOOD TO EVEN TAKE!" *swings backpack into the window* *glass shatters* *tries to jump out, cuts leg open on glass* *falls face-first on the concrete* *goes unconscious*

Not sure if people remember this one but: - *driving home after a long day* "Momma, can we get McDonalds?" "Do you got Mc-" "DONT EVEN SAY N...

Crying, Family, and Guns: Chwistopher @Loudwindow Concept: Pirates slay a monster mermaid to steal its treasure chest. Pirates open chest, finds a sleepy baby mermaid within. Monster mermaid was using the treasure chest as a cradle. Pirates: <p><a href="http://dragonsateyourtoast.tumblr.com/post/169373651900" class="tumblr_blog">dragonsateyourtoast</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href="http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/169340235270/otherwindow-this-is-how-the-golden-age-of-piracy" class="tumblr_blog">otherwindow</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/169291615220/this-is-how-the-golden-age-of-piracy-ended" class="tumblr_blog">otherwindow</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is how the golden age of piracy ended.</p></blockquote> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="677" data-orig-width="1000"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/51eb1c65a8936859a4b9e9ed54eb60d9/tumblr_inline_p22tdbtzyD1qdd180_540.jpg" data-orig-height="677" data-orig-width="1000"/></figure><p>The first mermaid to get tattoos :)</p> </blockquote> <p>“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”</p> <p>“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.</p> <p>“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”</p> <p>“i know.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”</p> <p>her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.</p> <p>“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.</p> <p>“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.</p> <p>x</p> <p>“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”</p> <p>“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”</p> <p>she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.</p> <p>x</p> <p>“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.</p> <p>“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”</p> <p>she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.</p> <p>“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”</p> <p>the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.</p> <p>“why not?” the mermaid asks.</p> <p>“he’ll win,” the first mate says.</p> <p>the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.</p> <p>x</p> <p>the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.</p> <p>“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.</p> <p>“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”</p> <p>they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.</p> <p>she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.</p> <p>the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.</p> <p>x</p> <p>she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.</p> <p>x</p> <p>“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.</p> <p>she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.</p> <p>“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”</p> <p>the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. </p> <p>“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.</p> <p>“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.</p> <p>“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”</p> <p>“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”</p> <p>“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”</p> <p>“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”</p> <p>x</p> <p>the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.</p> <p>“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.</p> <p>the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.</p> <p>“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”</p> <p>“and now?”</p> <p>“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”</p> <p>the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”</p> </blockquote> <p>Yooooo</p>
Crying, Family, and Guns: Chwistopher
 @Loudwindow
 Concept: Pirates slay a monster mermaid
 to steal its treasure chest.
 Pirates open chest, finds a sleepy baby
 mermaid within.
 Monster mermaid was using the treasure
 chest as a cradle.
 Pirates:
<p><a href="http://dragonsateyourtoast.tumblr.com/post/169373651900" class="tumblr_blog">dragonsateyourtoast</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p><a href="http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/169340235270/otherwindow-this-is-how-the-golden-age-of-piracy" class="tumblr_blog">otherwindow</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://otherwindow.tumblr.com/post/169291615220/this-is-how-the-golden-age-of-piracy-ended" class="tumblr_blog">otherwindow</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>This is how the golden age of piracy ended.</p></blockquote>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="677" data-orig-width="1000"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/51eb1c65a8936859a4b9e9ed54eb60d9/tumblr_inline_p22tdbtzyD1qdd180_540.jpg" data-orig-height="677" data-orig-width="1000"/></figure><p>The first mermaid to get tattoos :)</p>
</blockquote>

<p>“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”</p>
<p>“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.</p>
<p>“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”</p>
<p>“i know.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”</p>
<p>her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.</p>
<p>“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.</p>
<p>“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”</p>
<p>“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”</p>
<p>she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.</p>
<p>“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”</p>
<p>she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.</p>
<p>“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”</p>
<p>the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.</p>
<p>“why not?” the mermaid asks.</p>
<p>“he’ll win,” the first mate says.</p>
<p>the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.</p>
<p>“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.</p>
<p>“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”</p>
<p>they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.</p>
<p>she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.</p>
<p>the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.</p>
<p>she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.</p>
<p>“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”</p>
<p>the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. </p>
<p>“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.</p>
<p>“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.</p>
<p>“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”</p>
<p>“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”</p>
<p>“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”</p>
<p>“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”</p>
<p>x</p>
<p>the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.</p>
<p>“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.</p>
<p>the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.</p>
<p>“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”</p>
<p>“and now?”</p>
<p>“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”</p>
<p>the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”</p>
</blockquote>

<p>Yooooo</p>

<p><a href="http://dragonsateyourtoast.tumblr.com/post/169373651900" class="tumblr_blog">dragonsateyourtoast</a>:</p><blockquote> <p><a href...

Crying, Family, and Life: Anonymous said U're probably only wearing a scarf cuz ur hair's ugly... how u gonna prove I'm wrong without breaking the rules of ur religion hm? <p><a href="http://thebootydiaries.tumblr.com/post/158682223932/tears-fill-my-eyes-as-i-read-the-words-on-my" class="tumblr_blog">thebootydiaries</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Tears fill my eyes as I read the words on my screen. The world seems to stop spinning for the slightest second as I re-read the anonymous message over and over again, gripping on to the hope that the words will magically disappear. But they didn’t. Anon had done it; they’d figured out that the only way to make me take off my hijab was to call my hair ugly. My one weakness. </p> <p>A tear streams down my left cheek. </p> <p>Eight years of academy hijab training…wasted. I had to prove this extremely relevant and good-looking anonymous person wrong, I cared too much about what they thought. How could I live my life knowing that there is one person out there who thinks probably my hair is ugly maybe? How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I face my family? My shoulders shook as I cried silently, and my chair squeaked ever so slightly at the vibrations; as if it, too, was crying in sorrow.</p> <p>It wasn’t until that moment that the second part of the message dawned on me… how <i>would</i> I prove them wrong without breaking the rules? Was it really against the rules? I reach into my hijab and pull out a scroll. At the very top, in cursive jet-black inked letters, the word ‘Rules’ stares back at me. My heart is racing as my eyes frantically read the scroll. <br/></p> <p><i>‘Rule #1: no killing people,’</i> it reads. I let out a whimper. There go my evening plans. <br/></p> <p>Suddenly, my eye catches the next words. The scroll is rustling in my trembling hands as I turn my face away, tears spraying out of my eyes like the spit of a white person as they try to justify racism. The cursive words felt more like a curse of words, vivid and refusing to disappear as if I were still staring at them even through my closed eyes.</p> <p><i>Rule #2: don’t show ur hair girl it’s ugly lmaooooo</i></p> </blockquote> <p>“The cursive words felt more like a curse of words” I am SCREAMING</p>
Crying, Family, and Life: Anonymous said
 U're probably only wearing a scarf cuz
 ur hair's ugly... how u gonna prove I'm
 wrong without breaking the rules of ur
 religion hm?
<p><a href="http://thebootydiaries.tumblr.com/post/158682223932/tears-fill-my-eyes-as-i-read-the-words-on-my" class="tumblr_blog">thebootydiaries</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Tears fill my eyes as I read the words on my screen. The world seems to stop spinning for the slightest second as I re-read the anonymous message over and over again, gripping on to the hope that the words will magically disappear. But they didn’t. Anon had done it; they’d figured out that the only way to make me take off my hijab was to call my hair ugly. My one weakness. </p>
<p>A tear streams down my left cheek. </p>
<p>Eight years of academy hijab training…wasted. I had to prove this extremely relevant and good-looking anonymous person wrong, I cared too much about what they thought. How could I live my life knowing that there is one person out there who thinks probably my hair is ugly maybe? How could I look myself in the mirror? How could I face my family? My shoulders shook as I cried silently, and my chair squeaked ever so slightly at the vibrations; as if it, too, was crying in sorrow.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until that moment that the second part of the message dawned on me… how <i>would</i> I prove them wrong without breaking the rules? Was it really against the rules? I reach into my hijab and pull out a scroll. At the very top, in cursive jet-black inked letters, the word ‘Rules’ stares back at me. My heart is racing as my eyes frantically read the scroll. <br/></p>
<p><i>‘Rule #1: no killing people,’</i> it reads. I let out a whimper. There go my evening plans. <br/></p>
<p>Suddenly, my eye catches the next words. The scroll is rustling in my trembling hands as I turn my face away, tears spraying out of my eyes like the spit of a white person as they try to justify racism. The cursive words felt more like a curse of words, vivid and refusing to disappear as if I were still staring at them even through my closed eyes.</p>
<p><i>Rule #2: don’t show ur hair girl it’s ugly lmaooooo</i></p>
</blockquote>

<p>“The cursive words felt more like a curse of words” I am SCREAMING</p>

<p><a href="http://thebootydiaries.tumblr.com/post/158682223932/tears-fill-my-eyes-as-i-read-the-words-on-my" class="tumblr_blog">thebootydi...