🔥 | Latest

Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been
Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been

bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all...

Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR ISEE WHAT YOU DID THERE 0 dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: follow forthefuns for more funny stuff Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture. Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?! Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.   Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words. I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture! Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations! Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?
Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR
 ISEE WHAT
 YOU DID THERE
 0
dracophile:

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.



I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: ...

Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 u/wtdoido.8h
 Parents, what was the moment when
 you felt the most proud of your child?
 Discussion
 hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h
 Went in for a conference with the kindergarten
 teacher and after we covered the academic stuff,
 teacher said, "I have to tell you something."
 She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he can
 play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here full
 time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Shit
 "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.)
 "You know she's the one all the kids want to be
 friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh
 shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean
 girl. That kid is autistic....)
 "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he carn
 lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here ful
 time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Note: I found out later that "if something bothers
 him" was a specific color that freaked him out
 She got all the kids to get rid of that color
 crayons, colored pencils, and got permission
 from the teacher to take down everything on the
 walls that had that color. Kids also completely
 stopped wearing that color shirt, because she
 made sure they understood that it hurt him
 Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were
 able to mainstream him 100%
 Reply 613
positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 u/wtdoido.8h
 Parents, what was the moment when
 you felt the most proud of your child?
 Discussion
 hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h
 Went in for a conference with the kindergarten
 teacher and after we covered the academic stuff,
 teacher said, "I have to tell you something."
 She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he can
 play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here full
 time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Shit
 "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.)
 "You know she's the one all the kids want to be
 friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh
 shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean
 girl. That kid is autistic....)
 "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he carn
 lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here ful
 time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Note: I found out later that "if something bothers
 him" was a specific color that freaked him out
 She got all the kids to get rid of that color
 crayons, colored pencils, and got permission
 from the teacher to take down everything on the
 walls that had that color. Kids also completely
 stopped wearing that color shirt, because she
 made sure they understood that it hurt him
 Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were
 able to mainstream him 100%
 Reply 613
positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

positive-memes:The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.
Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE
 I SAlV I'M ITALIAN,
 EVERYONE KEEP4
 TEA IN ME AND
 AGKING IF I'M IN THE
 MAFIA

 NEXT TIME
 TELL THEM

 THEN THEY
 WILL FEAK
 YOU.
2srooky:

giancarlovolpe:

Based on a true story.

this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family. 
I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world. 
Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen. 
I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia.
So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck. 
And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc.
Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes. 
He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went. 
“Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away.
I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work. 
When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face. 
These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos. 
I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle. 
For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia. 
I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

Being Alone, Amazon, and College: did you know? There's an app that pays people to go online. Nielsen, the organization that does TV ratings, now measures the popularity of websites and online videos. To do that, they'll pay you just to 1.) Join the Nielsen panel at InternetPanel.org 2.) Get the free app on your phone/computer, 3.) Use the internet the same way you do now. It's that simple! Panel members receive cash and Amazon gift cards just to use the internet. nielsen PHOTO: INTERNETPANEL.ORG DID YOU KNOW? collegehackable: cntnd: zarb: You guys, I looked into it and this is legitimate. According to Wikipedia, Nielsen has been a trusted name since the 1920s, first measuring what radio stations people listened to. In the 1950s, they got into television ratings and now they’re measuring the popularity of stuff online. I can’t believe they’re gonna start paying me to watch youtube videos… I’m truly living in 3019 It took me less than 5 minutes to sign up here GUYS… in 2019 we live in 3019 I usually scroll past these sorta posts, but I know a lot of broke college kids follow me and want someone to verify if this is real. After doing my homework, I learned that the Nielsen internet panel is undeniably real. (Source: TV Technology) If you’re worried about what data they collect, this is from Nielsen’s website: TL;DR they only want to know what websites you visit, how long you spend on those sites, etc. and they NEVER collect sensitive data such as usernames, passwords, login information, bank, or credit card information. Facebook already collects (and sells) your data. The difference is that Nielsen wants to pay you and they’re not sneaky about it. So yes, you can quite literally get paid to watch youtube videos. Pro-Tip: to make the most money, you guys should join the panel on your computer AND your phone because you can earn more for multiple devices. Besides regular rewards, Nielsen gives away $10,000 cash each month. You could receive a thousand dollars in one month from the sweepstakes alone. If you keep Nielsen on your computer, you’ll be automatically entered into their monthly sweepstakes, so the app is a must-have on laptop or desktop. Two people win $1000 each month and four hundred people win cash prizes. Another reason to add multiple devices is that annually they will pay you $50 per mobile device you connect, so it pays to put Nielsen on all your devices, even that old phone in a drawer somewhere if it’ll turn on. Tablets work too, as do iPods and E-Readers.
Being Alone, Amazon, and College: did you know?
 There's an app that pays people to go online.
 Nielsen, the organization that does TV ratings,
 now measures the popularity of websites and
 online videos. To do that, they'll pay you just to
 1.) Join the Nielsen panel at InternetPanel.org
 2.) Get the free app on your phone/computer,
 3.) Use the internet the same way you do now.
 It's that simple! Panel members receive cash
 and Amazon gift cards just to use the internet.
 nielsen
 PHOTO: INTERNETPANEL.ORG
 DID YOU KNOW?
collegehackable:
cntnd:

zarb:

You guys, I looked into it and this is legitimate. According to Wikipedia, Nielsen has been a trusted name since the 1920s, first measuring what radio stations people listened to. In the 1950s, they got into television ratings and now they’re measuring the popularity of stuff online. I can’t believe they’re gonna start paying me to watch youtube videos… I’m truly living in 3019
It took me less than 5 minutes to sign up here

GUYS… in 2019 we live in 3019

I usually scroll past these sorta posts, but I know a lot of broke college kids follow me and want someone to verify if this is real. After doing my homework, I learned that the Nielsen internet panel is undeniably real.
(Source: TV Technology)
If you’re worried about what data they collect, this is from Nielsen’s website:
TL;DR they only want to know what websites you visit, how long you spend on those sites, etc. and they NEVER collect sensitive data such as usernames, passwords, login information, bank, or credit card information.
Facebook already collects (and sells) your data. The difference is that Nielsen wants to pay you and they’re not sneaky about it. So yes, you can quite literally get paid to watch youtube videos.
Pro-Tip: to make the most money, you guys should join the panel on your computer AND your phone because you can earn more for multiple devices. Besides regular rewards, Nielsen gives away $10,000 cash each month. You could receive a thousand dollars in one month from the sweepstakes alone. If you keep Nielsen on your computer, you’ll be automatically entered into their monthly sweepstakes, so the app is a must-have on laptop or desktop. Two people win $1000 each month and four hundred people win cash prizes. Another reason to add multiple devices is that 

annually they will pay you $50 per mobile device you connect, so it pays to put Nielsen on all your devices, even that old phone in a drawer somewhere if it’ll turn on. Tablets work too, as do iPods and E-Readers.

collegehackable: cntnd: zarb: You guys, I looked into it and this is legitimate. According to Wikipedia, Nielsen has been a trusted name s...

Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read
Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 u/wtdoido.8h
 Parents, what was the moment when
 you felt the most proud of your child?
 Discussion
 hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h
 Went in for a conference with the kindergarten
 teacher and after we covered the academic stuff,
 teacher said, "I have to tell you something."
 She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he can
 play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here full
 time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Shit
 "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.)
 "You know she's the one all the kids want to be
 friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh
 shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean
 girl. That kid is autistic....)
 "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he carn
 lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here ful
 time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Note: I found out later that "if something bothers
 him" was a specific color that freaked him out
 She got all the kids to get rid of that color
 crayons, colored pencils, and got permission
 from the teacher to take down everything on the
 walls that had that color. Kids also completely
 stopped wearing that color shirt, because she
 made sure they understood that it hurt him
 Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were
 able to mainstream him 100%
 Reply 613
The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read

Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit u/wtdoido.8h Parents, what was the moment when you felt the most proud of your child? Discussion hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h Went in for a conference with the kindergarten teacher and after we covered the academic stuff, teacher said, "I have to tell you something." She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he can play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here full time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Shit "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.) "You know she's the one all the kids want to be friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean girl. That kid is autistic....) "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit next to him at his table. She has made the entire class adapt their recess games so that he carn lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like to be touched, so she figures out different rules for him so that he can play. She sticks up for him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I can never comment on another child but anyone can observe that he used to be in our classroom one hour a day and now he is here ful time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she does nothing else, ever, she has changed one Note: I found out later that "if something bothers him" was a specific color that freaked him out She got all the kids to get rid of that color crayons, colored pencils, and got permission from the teacher to take down everything on the walls that had that color. Kids also completely stopped wearing that color shirt, because she made sure they understood that it hurt him Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were able to mainstream him 100% Reply 613 The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2TfikJl
Anaconda, Crying, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 u/wtdoido.8h
 Parents, what was the moment when
 you felt the most proud of your child?
 Discussion
 hahahahthunk ⑤画2 (③。4h
 Went in for a conference with the kindergarten
 teacher and after we covered the academic stuff,
 teacher said, "I have to tell you something."
 She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he can
 play. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here full
 time." [Teacher is CRYING at this point.] "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Shit
 "You know she's the social leader." (oh, shit.)
 "You know she's the one all the kids want to be
 friends with. There is a boy in the class.... (oh
 shitshitshit, please don't tell me she's the mean
 girl. That kid is autistic....)
 "She decided he needed a friend. She asked to sit
 next to him at his table. She has made the entire
 class adapt their recess games so that he carn
 lay. If a game involves touching, he doesn't like
 to be touched, so she figures out different rules
 for him so that he can play. She sticks up for
 him. If something bothers him, she makes sure it
 isn't an issue. The entire class follows her lead. I
 can never comment on another child but anyone
 can observe that he used to be in our classroom
 one hour a day and now he is here ful
 time." Teacher is CRYING at this point.1 "If she
 does nothing else, ever, she has changed one
 Note: I found out later that "if something bothers
 him" was a specific color that freaked him out
 She got all the kids to get rid of that color
 crayons, colored pencils, and got permission
 from the teacher to take down everything on the
 walls that had that color. Kids also completely
 stopped wearing that color shirt, because she
 made sure they understood that it hurt him
 Meltdowns dropped dramatically and they were
 able to mainstream him 100%
 Reply 613
The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2TfikJl

The most wholesome /r/askreddit response I’ve ever read via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2TfikJl

Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN RUSSIAN TO READ IN 15 MINUTES By PETER STARR NORTHROA AND RAN ESTRADA 、 ★ ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN. SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ. HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR YOURSELF THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH STUFF THAT'S TOTALLH THE SAME SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND THAT MAKES A GREAT STARTING POINT FOR YOU TOMKAT F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A' MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH" LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST LEVEL 2VOWELS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS FATHER BED YO YOU BLL THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK. EVE ALTER HOURE VOWELS THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW TATA TAVI TIE TO TO TOM TWEE KEY (BUT STRONGER) lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian
Crazy, Pop, and Tumblr: LEARN
 RUSSIAN
 TO READ
 IN 15 MINUTES
 By PETER STARR
 NORTHROA AND
 RAN ESTRADA
 、
 ★
 ESTE ANALE ABRI COMES FROM THIS CRAZY WRITING
 BUNCH OF ALPHABETS WHICH STOLE THEIR WRITING
 STYLES FROM THE GREEKS. THAT MAKES IT A KINDA WACKY
 AND DISJOINTED COUSIN TO OUR LATIN ALPHABET
 SO RUSSIAN LOOKS ALMOST KINDA LIKE IT
 COULD BE READ BY AN ENGLISH SPEAKER BUT
 THEN ALL THESE STRANGE NEW LETTERS POP
 IN, SO IT'S THIS ALIEN SYSTEM THAT LOOKS LIKE
 IT COULD BE FAMILIAR, WHICH IN THE END
 JUST MAKES IT SEEM ALL THE MORE ALIEN.
 SOME CONSONANTS LOOK THE SAME BUT MEAN
 TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. AND THEN
 RUSSIAN ADDS IN LIKE, FIVE EXTRA VOWELS
 AND 3 CONSONANTS OR SOMETHING CRAZY
 BECAUSE OF THIS, YOU CAN'T JUST PICK UP
 A RUSSIAN BOOK AND START TO READ.
 HOWEVER, ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS LEVEL UP
 THROUGH THE DIFFERENT LAYERS OF RUSSIAN
 AND YOU CAN MAKE IT MAD EASY FOR
 YOURSELF
 THERE'S NO WEIRD SOUNDS THAT COMBINE
 LIKE IN ENGLISH, AND ONLY A FEW LETTERS
 CHANGE SOUNDS FROM TIME TO TIME. ALL THE
 LETTERS (EXCEPT ONE) ARE THE SAME UPPER
 CASE AND LOWER CASE SO YOU ONLY NEED TO
 LEARN EACH LETTER ONCE. ONCE YOU TEACH
 YOURSELF THE BASIC RULES, YOU'LL FIND THAT
 T MIGHT EVEN BE EASIER THAN ENGLISH
 STUFF THAT'S
 TOTALLH THE SAME
 SOME RUSSIAN LETTERS
 ARE EXACTLY THE SAME
 AS ENGLISH LETTERS AND
 THAT MAKES A GREAT
 STARTING POINT FOR YOU
 TOMKAT
 F THE LETTER YOU'RE LOOKING AT CAN BE FOUND IN
 THIS OBSOLETE CELEBRITY COUPLE PORTMANTEAU
 YOU'RE IN LUCK! THEYRE THE SAME AS USUAL
 HEADS UP THOUGH! UNLIKE IN ENGLISH, RUSSIAN
 VOWELS MAKE ONE SOUND CONSISTENTLY. SO THE O
 MAKES A LONG O SOUND, AS IN 'NO' OR 'GO' AND THE 'A'
 MAKES THE SOUND YOU HEAR IN 'FATHER OR 'HAHA
 SO THE WORD ABOVE HAS A RUSSIAN ACCENT AND
 SOUNDS KINDA LIKE TOME COT
 THEIR SOUNDS, BUT O AND A CAN GO ROGUE DEPENDING ON
 F THEYRE STRESSED SYLLABLES OR NOT O CAN BE "AH"
 LIKE FATHER) AND A CAN BE "EH (LIKE PENCIL) SO TOME
 COT CAN ALSO BE TAHM-KEHT FOR NOW THOUGH, JUST
 PRACTICE WITH TOME-COT THAT'LL HELP THE MOST
 LEVEL 2VOWELS
 IF YOU SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE AN ALTERED VERSION OF A
 VOWEL YOU RECOGNIZE, OR A BACKWARDS CONSONANT, IT'S A VOWEL
 YOU CAN BREAK THEM DOWN
 INTO TWO SIMPLE GROUPS
 AND SET 2, WHICH ARE JUST
 THE SOFT VOWELS PLUS A Y
 SOFT VOWELS: HARD VWELS
 FATHER
 BED
 YO
 YOU
 BLL
 THAT GUY ON THE END THERE IS THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE
 INSTEAD OF MAKING A YEE SOUND, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE I IN BILL
 I COULD KILL BILL FOR MESSING UP THE SYSTEM. WHAT KIND OF
 LETTER IS MADE OF TWO LETTERS, ANYWAY? THAT JERK.
 EVE
 ALTER HOURE
 VOWELS
 THERE ARE SIX MORE VOWEL SOUNDS, AND YOU ONLY NEED
 TO KNOW ONE MORE LETTER TO BE ABLE TO READ THEM
 ADDING AFTER A VOWEL IS A LOT LIKE ADDING A Y
 IN ENGLISH- IT JUST MAKES THE SOUND LONGER. TO
 PRACTICE, LET'S ADD TO THE CONSONANTS AND
 VOWELS YOU ALREADY KNOW
 TATA TAVI
 TIE
 TO TO TOM
 TWEE
 KEY (BUT
 STRONGER)
lolzandtrollz:

Learn To Read Russian

lolzandtrollz: Learn To Read Russian