Tarding


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Tarding: Board/b/ - Random
 Settings Home
 >be me 4 years ago, half chinese malaysian half
 white
 12 years old and starting high school
 >make friends with other asians, most are in the
 grade 2 years above me
 >2 girls in the group are seriously hot chinese
 girls, like 8/10's they only hang out with us
 215 KB JPG
 because their english is shit
 always had a crush on them but they dated chinese chads over
 some skinny fuck like me whos younger than them
 fast forward to Friday, they come to a house party at my house
 have conversation with them and find out after they graduated
 they became hookers because their english is so shit they cant
 get a normal job
 their ads are shit and hardly get any customers
 they ask me if i have gf
 "no" (fml)
 >offer me 50% off to have a threesome with them as they need
 money
 pay $200 for me to cum in 1 minute and 59 minutes of one
 sucking my post-ejaculated dick
 me being a /b/tard decides to take a bunch of pictures in bed
 with them
 gonna go brag to my friends about it later that i had a threesome
 with 'the hot girls' as none of the guys know their hookers yet
 as i leave i check my phone, 3 misscalls from my mom
 >check my settings on my phone, photos are set to share to
 icloud, never been a problem as i only take screenshots of shitty
 memes
 299.95% chance my christian mum just found out her 16 year old
 son had a pre-marital threesome
 I'm writing this on the bus back home
 /b/ how fucked am I?
 Anonymous
 09/02/17(Sat)16:31:36 No.743963213
 >>743963040(OP) #
 Very
Anon just wanted to brag
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: Board/b/ - Random
 Settings Home
 >be me 4 years ago, half chinese malaysian half
 white
 12 years old and starting high school
 >make friends with other asians, most are in the
 grade 2 years above me
 >2 girls in the group are seriously hot chinese
 girls, like 8/10's they only hang out with us
 215 KB JPG
 because their english is shit
 always had a crush on them but they dated chinese chads over
 some skinny fuck like me whos younger than them
 fast forward to Friday, they come to a house party at my house
 have conversation with them and find out after they graduated
 they became hookers because their english is so shit they cant
 get a normal job
 their ads are shit and hardly get any customers
 they ask me if i have gf
 "no" (fml)
 >offer me 50% off to have a threesome with them as they need
 money
 pay $200 for me to cum in 1 minute and 59 minutes of one
 sucking my post-ejaculated dick
 me being a /b/tard decides to take a bunch of pictures in bed
 with them
 gonna go brag to my friends about it later that i had a threesome
 with 'the hot girls' as none of the guys know their hookers yet
 as i leave i check my phone, 3 misscalls from my mom
 >check my settings on my phone, photos are set to share to
 icloud, never been a problem as i only take screenshots of shitty
 memes
 299.95% chance my christian mum just found out her 16 year old
 son had a pre-marital threesome
 I'm writing this on the bus back home
 /b/ how fucked am I?
 Anonymous
 09/02/17(Sat)16:31:36 No.743963213
 >>743963040(OP) #
 Very
Anon just wanted to brag
                
            

            
            
Anon just wanted to brag

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Tarding: Anonymous
 08/28/17(Mon)12:03:10 No.743447804
 >be me
 sophomore year of high school
 getting bullied by a kid named Jeremiah
 >Jeremiah is a 6'5" gigajew jock
 wears the hat, has the fro and everything
 >i help out with the local tards for service hours
 during 5th and 6th periods
 75 KB JPG
 one tard, darius, and i share symbiotic relationship
 he lets me play a shitty WWE video game with them, i give him
 fries from McDonald's
 we are tardbros
 one day i have to take darius to the nurse for his meds
 >see Jeremiah in the hall
 he stops us
 "i see you found some friends like you
 darius starts to get fidgety
 "fuck off" i say politely
 Darius becomes perfectly still
 Gigajew rears back for a punch
 suddenly i hear a sound like a bull getting sucked off by a sho
 vac in front of a broken fan
 Its darius
 wtf
 the jew is confused to
 watch as darius rips off his shirt and jump for Jeremiah's legs
 knocks jewfag over for 4hp
 suddenly all of darius's WWE skills surface
 grabs Jeremiah and hits him with a piledriver for 30hp
 allofmywhat.png
 darius reaches down and picks him up
 darius is only about 5'7" and maybe 160 lbs
 bodyslam for 40hp
 how the fuck is this real
 jeremiah is down to 26hp
 >darius picks him up again
 falls backwards and bodvslams himself
 i get worried and run over
 but darius had enacted his master plan
 hall monitors and assistant principals show up
 they don't suspect that darius is the undertaker's downsy cousin
 suspends Jeremiah
 next day
 bring darius 2 large fries from mcdonald's
 he just smiles and nods
 tardbros for life
Anon has a tardbro bodyguard
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: Anonymous
 08/28/17(Mon)12:03:10 No.743447804
 >be me
 sophomore year of high school
 getting bullied by a kid named Jeremiah
 >Jeremiah is a 6'5" gigajew jock
 wears the hat, has the fro and everything
 >i help out with the local tards for service hours
 during 5th and 6th periods
 75 KB JPG
 one tard, darius, and i share symbiotic relationship
 he lets me play a shitty WWE video game with them, i give him
 fries from McDonald's
 we are tardbros
 one day i have to take darius to the nurse for his meds
 >see Jeremiah in the hall
 he stops us
 "i see you found some friends like you
 darius starts to get fidgety
 "fuck off" i say politely
 Darius becomes perfectly still
 Gigajew rears back for a punch
 suddenly i hear a sound like a bull getting sucked off by a sho
 vac in front of a broken fan
 Its darius
 wtf
 the jew is confused to
 watch as darius rips off his shirt and jump for Jeremiah's legs
 knocks jewfag over for 4hp
 suddenly all of darius's WWE skills surface
 grabs Jeremiah and hits him with a piledriver for 30hp
 allofmywhat.png
 darius reaches down and picks him up
 darius is only about 5'7" and maybe 160 lbs
 bodyslam for 40hp
 how the fuck is this real
 jeremiah is down to 26hp
 >darius picks him up again
 falls backwards and bodvslams himself
 i get worried and run over
 but darius had enacted his master plan
 hall monitors and assistant principals show up
 they don't suspect that darius is the undertaker's downsy cousin
 suspends Jeremiah
 next day
 bring darius 2 large fries from mcdonald's
 he just smiles and nods
 tardbros for life
Anon has a tardbro bodyguard
                
            

            
            
Anon has a tardbro bodyguard

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Tarding: File: 1372341055596 ipg-(47 KB, 480x640, toysword.jpg) GI
 Anonymous (ID: Sv358Vw) 06/27/13(Thu)15:52:46 UTC+2 No.489587930 Replies:24
 ζ˜΄β–‘ Anonymous (ID Gasavw ) 06/27/13(Thu)15:50:55 UTC+2 No.489587684
 Replies: 201
 >I pant as I struggle to the door, earthquakes forming with each step
 >A security guard tries to tackle me but is lost in the labyrinth of my neckbeard
 l whip out my special Sonic OC
 me
 on
 start to
 >my eyes twitch nervously as I scan the room for signs of danger, muscles tensed for movement
 They are blinded by its intense black and red colors
 >l swing it around, beheading them on its edge
 >Run out onto the street
 TAXI TAXI"
 Taxi pulls up. Sir, how may we help you?"
 >I throw nuggets at him. "TAKE THIS AND LEAVE. FOLLOW MOOT
 >He doesn't know who moot is
 re
 >"you must wait 10 seconds to post
 >NO NO NO THIS CANT BE HAPPENING
 hurl myself onto the floor of the taxi to hunt for my missing nugget
 Sir please get off my taxi
 "SHUT UP YOU'RE RAPING ME WITH EVERY WORD
 the thread again
 still all clear, what I wanted to say has not been posted
 >Spray mountain dew in his face
 ca
 >full panic mode
 >Moot is inside the police car
 jump out
 gritting teeth, a snarling sound emanating from mouth, eyes bloodshot and focused
 FINALLY
 >OH NO WAIT I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING
 ABORT ABORT ABORT
 >Penetrate through my fursuit, but reflected off my natural blubber
 >l unleash my fursona, Darkachu
 >quickly add what I was going to say
 "SHUT THE FUCK UP MUM IM ON THE MOST IMPORTANT SITE ON THE INTERNET
 >What the fuck
 Anonymous (ID: 5v358V) 06/27/13(Thu)15:53:28 UTC+2 No.489588027Replies: 4895880942248959069
 >l approach him to sue him
 y my father calls
 >"It's time for bed anon where are you"
 >Look at my Bionicle watch
 Anonymous (ID
 Sa58V。) 06/27/13(Thu)15:51:23 UTC+2 No.489587743
 ] Replies:-587819
 Captcha wrong
 Sinking feeling hits me
 >OH SHIT
 >Maximum overdrive activated
 l chant WOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
 >A dark god comes from the sky
 Takes me back to bed
 >My mother helps me put on my pajamas
 start to pound the table in frustration
 didnt succeed in aborting the post
 Someone else typed what I wanted to say first
 My unfinished post: "my sides"
 my post: "my sides 10/10
 HE BEAT ME THERE
 THIS CANNOT BE
 >Erupt in rage, punch mother in face, she flies across room
 THIS IS ALL MOOTS FAULT
 TIME TO SUE MOOT
 >Wait. Where's Rainbow Dash?
 ALL IS LOST
 >If I can just reach
 >It's from my girlfriend, Yotsuba girl
 see a message on facebook
 THIS IS DAVID. I DISCOVERED YOUR RETARDED ACCOUNT PASSWORD. STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH A FAKE ACCOUNT TO PRETEND YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND GO TO BED"
 Throw table at mother as she tries to get up
 >Pull on my trusty fedora covered in epic memes
 >Bring my Rainbow Dash sex doll and supply of nuggets
 >See a Christian along the roac
 FOR THE GLORY OF THE ATHEIST ARMY
 Run at him and use my special tard strength
 "STOP being tsundere"
 Anonymous (ID: 5v358V) 06/27/13(Thu)15:54:00 UTC+2 No.489588094
 Replies: 489590737
 s told me never to
 >So I kick him instead
 He stumbles back, shocked
 YOU CANNOT STAND BEFORE MY EUPHORIC INTELLIGENCE" I yell running away
 Reach Walmart for supplies
 Realizes its past my
 scream in terror and run into the closet
 >At least he didn't harm my female alter ego
 >He doesn't understand my special position on the spectrum of genders and sexuality, or that I house multiple entities in my brain
 fumble around in the closet
 Anonymous (ID Gosave) 06/27/13(Thu)15:51:56 UTC+2 No 4895878 19。Replies: 2489587930
 im
 >Need more mountain deww
 >Yes! Now I am finally part horse and can consummate my relationship with Rainbow Dash!
 >Horns sprout from my head to represent the darkness of my tortured fursona's heart
 >My neckbeard moves down to my chest
 >Shove the
 "I HAVE RESCUED YOU MY FAIR MAIDEN. HAI. TM BRIAN"
 "mommy this man is disturbing me
 >Her mother comes around, sees
 >"You sic
 This oppressive tool of the patriarchy is still trying to uphold the dominance of the traditional family model
 >I feel raped, so I take out my penis to wait out the trigger
 >She screams and charges at me
 "RAINBOW DASH I CHOOSE YOU"
 3-year old acoompanying her to the floor
 np off my shirt to show off my alphadom
 >Do a jig in happiness
 my precious Dashie
 >Girl comes in
 >Take her to White Witch
 >Get turned to stone
 k pervert! Get away from my children!
 Propelled by spaghtti, I cast my sex doll at her
 Unfortunately she falls on it and crushes it
 >I fall to my knees weeping for my fallen love
 The security guards arrive, hampered by the massive tide of spaghetti
 l look around in horror
 one way of esca
 >Thank Darwin for my advanced euphoric IQ of 25925
 >This is why my teachers called me high-functioning
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: File: 1372341055596 ipg-(47 KB, 480x640, toysword.jpg) GI
 Anonymous (ID: Sv358Vw) 06/27/13(Thu)15:52:46 UTC+2 No.489587930 Replies:24
 ζ˜΄β–‘ Anonymous (ID Gasavw ) 06/27/13(Thu)15:50:55 UTC+2 No.489587684
 Replies: 201
 >I pant as I struggle to the door, earthquakes forming with each step
 >A security guard tries to tackle me but is lost in the labyrinth of my neckbeard
 l whip out my special Sonic OC
 me
 on
 start to
 >my eyes twitch nervously as I scan the room for signs of danger, muscles tensed for movement
 They are blinded by its intense black and red colors
 >l swing it around, beheading them on its edge
 >Run out onto the street
 TAXI TAXI"
 Taxi pulls up. Sir, how may we help you?"
 >I throw nuggets at him. "TAKE THIS AND LEAVE. FOLLOW MOOT
 >He doesn't know who moot is
 re
 >"you must wait 10 seconds to post
 >NO NO NO THIS CANT BE HAPPENING
 hurl myself onto the floor of the taxi to hunt for my missing nugget
 Sir please get off my taxi
 "SHUT UP YOU'RE RAPING ME WITH EVERY WORD
 the thread again
 still all clear, what I wanted to say has not been posted
 >Spray mountain dew in his face
 ca
 >full panic mode
 >Moot is inside the police car
 jump out
 gritting teeth, a snarling sound emanating from mouth, eyes bloodshot and focused
 FINALLY
 >OH NO WAIT I FORGOT TO ADD SOMETHING
 ABORT ABORT ABORT
 >Penetrate through my fursuit, but reflected off my natural blubber
 >l unleash my fursona, Darkachu
 >quickly add what I was going to say
 "SHUT THE FUCK UP MUM IM ON THE MOST IMPORTANT SITE ON THE INTERNET
 >What the fuck
 Anonymous (ID: 5v358V) 06/27/13(Thu)15:53:28 UTC+2 No.489588027Replies: 4895880942248959069
 >l approach him to sue him
 y my father calls
 >"It's time for bed anon where are you"
 >Look at my Bionicle watch
 Anonymous (ID
 Sa58V。) 06/27/13(Thu)15:51:23 UTC+2 No.489587743
 ] Replies:-587819
 Captcha wrong
 Sinking feeling hits me
 >OH SHIT
 >Maximum overdrive activated
 l chant WOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO
 >A dark god comes from the sky
 Takes me back to bed
 >My mother helps me put on my pajamas
 start to pound the table in frustration
 didnt succeed in aborting the post
 Someone else typed what I wanted to say first
 My unfinished post: "my sides"
 my post: "my sides 10/10
 HE BEAT ME THERE
 THIS CANNOT BE
 >Erupt in rage, punch mother in face, she flies across room
 THIS IS ALL MOOTS FAULT
 TIME TO SUE MOOT
 >Wait. Where's Rainbow Dash?
 ALL IS LOST
 >If I can just reach
 >It's from my girlfriend, Yotsuba girl
 see a message on facebook
 THIS IS DAVID. I DISCOVERED YOUR RETARDED ACCOUNT PASSWORD. STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH A FAKE ACCOUNT TO PRETEND YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AND GO TO BED"
 Throw table at mother as she tries to get up
 >Pull on my trusty fedora covered in epic memes
 >Bring my Rainbow Dash sex doll and supply of nuggets
 >See a Christian along the roac
 FOR THE GLORY OF THE ATHEIST ARMY
 Run at him and use my special tard strength
 "STOP being tsundere"
 Anonymous (ID: 5v358V) 06/27/13(Thu)15:54:00 UTC+2 No.489588094
 Replies: 489590737
 s told me never to
 >So I kick him instead
 He stumbles back, shocked
 YOU CANNOT STAND BEFORE MY EUPHORIC INTELLIGENCE" I yell running away
 Reach Walmart for supplies
 Realizes its past my
 scream in terror and run into the closet
 >At least he didn't harm my female alter ego
 >He doesn't understand my special position on the spectrum of genders and sexuality, or that I house multiple entities in my brain
 fumble around in the closet
 Anonymous (ID Gosave) 06/27/13(Thu)15:51:56 UTC+2 No 4895878 19。Replies: 2489587930
 im
 >Need more mountain deww
 >Yes! Now I am finally part horse and can consummate my relationship with Rainbow Dash!
 >Horns sprout from my head to represent the darkness of my tortured fursona's heart
 >My neckbeard moves down to my chest
 >Shove the
 "I HAVE RESCUED YOU MY FAIR MAIDEN. HAI. TM BRIAN"
 "mommy this man is disturbing me
 >Her mother comes around, sees
 >"You sic
 This oppressive tool of the patriarchy is still trying to uphold the dominance of the traditional family model
 >I feel raped, so I take out my penis to wait out the trigger
 >She screams and charges at me
 "RAINBOW DASH I CHOOSE YOU"
 3-year old acoompanying her to the floor
 np off my shirt to show off my alphadom
 >Do a jig in happiness
 my precious Dashie
 >Girl comes in
 >Take her to White Witch
 >Get turned to stone
 k pervert! Get away from my children!
 Propelled by spaghtti, I cast my sex doll at her
 Unfortunately she falls on it and crushes it
 >I fall to my knees weeping for my fallen love
 The security guards arrive, hampered by the massive tide of spaghetti
 l look around in horror
 one way of esca
 >Thank Darwin for my advanced euphoric IQ of 25925
 >This is why my teachers called me high-functioning
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Tarding: Troppo tard
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: Troppo tard
                
            

            
            
Troppo tard

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Tarding: (ID: EsV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105
 Tard Stories Thread?
 Tard Stories Thread
 >Work as a Janitor for a High school
 Nice school to work for
 Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry
 Jerry is rude, messy, and always shits himself when startled (Which seems to be every single fucking time you speak to him)
 School's out and I'm mopping the floors
 Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me
 >I see him
 He points at me and laughs,
 then scuttles awa
 >Next day
 After school
 >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor
 I just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking
 Ohhellno.avi
 Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom
 Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a fucking sink ripped out of the wall
 smfw
 >M's war
 D (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063
 ile: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg)
 Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war
 >The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little fucknugget too
 >We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always shits himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always
 drags one foot-Gimpy)
 >Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain...
 >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy
 >Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces
 >Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping
 mfw
 O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136
 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg)
 Part IlI
 At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back
 tice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late
 >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to flirt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash
 around her roonm
 When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her
 >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder
 >A minor victory
 >The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day
 watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises"
 l calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards
 When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction
 >l turn on the sprinklers full force
 Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering
 ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mucd
 β–‘ (ID: E6qLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693 109
 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg)
 With the Score 2-1 Ineeded to figure out something else
 Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana
 >When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten...then walk
 away
 then starts screeching and flailing his arms wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that
 watch as he walks up, looks around
 involves humping the table
 then...he spots me
 >OHFUCK.avi
 mfw
 >He full on charges at me, fortunately...I had just mopped the floor in front of me
 >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545
 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg)
 >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good
 >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up
 on the last week of school they stayed after
 >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move shit off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights
 As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and shit in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the shit water all over a nice clean hallway
 >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction
 >Whatingodsname.avi
 round the corner to see the two smearing shit down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers
 >They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of shit
 >Then they try to charge me
 It seems they forgot that they used shit water on the floor and it was still wet
 >They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again
 I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching
 >Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast
 omfw
 Part 2 on the way
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313
 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg)
 Part 2 of >>384694545
 >I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond
 >I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene
 >They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces
 >Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived
 >In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing shit
 everywhere and even on Gimpy
 they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor
 The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers
 She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in shit
 In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile
 >Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from agai
 And that my friends...is how the war was won.
 I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome
 joyreactor.com
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: (ID: EsV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105
 Tard Stories Thread?
 Tard Stories Thread
 >Work as a Janitor for a High school
 Nice school to work for
 Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry
 Jerry is rude, messy, and always shits himself when startled (Which seems to be every single fucking time you speak to him)
 School's out and I'm mopping the floors
 Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me
 >I see him
 He points at me and laughs,
 then scuttles awa
 >Next day
 After school
 >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor
 I just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking
 Ohhellno.avi
 Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom
 Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a fucking sink ripped out of the wall
 smfw
 >M's war
 D (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063
 ile: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg)
 Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war
 >The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little fucknugget too
 >We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always shits himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always
 drags one foot-Gimpy)
 >Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain...
 >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy
 >Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces
 >Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping
 mfw
 O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136
 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg)
 Part IlI
 At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back
 tice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late
 >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to flirt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash
 around her roonm
 When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her
 >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder
 >A minor victory
 >The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day
 watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises"
 l calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards
 When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction
 >l turn on the sprinklers full force
 Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering
 ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mucd
 β–‘ (ID: E6qLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693 109
 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg)
 With the Score 2-1 Ineeded to figure out something else
 Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana
 >When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten...then walk
 away
 then starts screeching and flailing his arms wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that
 watch as he walks up, looks around
 involves humping the table
 then...he spots me
 >OHFUCK.avi
 mfw
 >He full on charges at me, fortunately...I had just mopped the floor in front of me
 >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545
 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg)
 >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good
 >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up
 on the last week of school they stayed after
 >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move shit off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights
 As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and shit in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the shit water all over a nice clean hallway
 >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction
 >Whatingodsname.avi
 round the corner to see the two smearing shit down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers
 >They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of shit
 >Then they try to charge me
 It seems they forgot that they used shit water on the floor and it was still wet
 >They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again
 I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching
 >Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast
 omfw
 Part 2 on the way
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313
 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg)
 Part 2 of >>384694545
 >I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond
 >I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene
 >They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces
 >Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived
 >In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing shit
 everywhere and even on Gimpy
 they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor
 The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers
 She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in shit
 In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile
 >Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from agai
 And that my friends...is how the war was won.
 I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome
 joyreactor.com
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Tarding: (ID: EsV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105
 Tard Stories Thread?
 Tard Stories Thread
 >Work as a Janitor for a High school
 Nice school to work for
 Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry
 Jerry is rude, messy, and always shits himself when startled (Which seems to be every single fucking time you speak to him)
 School's out and I'm mopping the floors
 Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me
 >I see him
 He points at me and laughs,
 then scuttles awa
 >Next day
 After school
 >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor
 I just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking
 Ohhellno.avi
 Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom
 Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a fucking sink ripped out of the wall
 smfw
 >M's war
 D (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063
 ile: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg)
 Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war
 >The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little fucknugget too
 >We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always shits himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always
 drags one foot-Gimpy)
 >Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain...
 >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy
 >Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces
 >Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping
 mfw
 O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136
 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg)
 Part IlI
 At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back
 tice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late
 >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to flirt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash
 around her roonm
 When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her
 >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder
 >A minor victory
 >The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day
 watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises"
 l calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards
 When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction
 >l turn on the sprinklers full force
 Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering
 ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mucd
 β–‘ (ID: E6qLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693 109
 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg)
 With the Score 2-1 Ineeded to figure out something else
 Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana
 >When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten...then walk
 away
 then starts screeching and flailing his arms wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that
 watch as he walks up, looks around
 involves humping the table
 then...he spots me
 >OHFUCK.avi
 mfw
 >He full on charges at me, fortunately...I had just mopped the floor in front of me
 >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545
 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg)
 >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good
 >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up
 on the last week of school they stayed after
 >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move shit off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights
 As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and shit in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the shit water all over a nice clean hallway
 >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction
 >Whatingodsname.avi
 round the corner to see the two smearing shit down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers
 >They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of shit
 >Then they try to charge me
 It seems they forgot that they used shit water on the floor and it was still wet
 >They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again
 I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching
 >Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast
 omfw
 Part 2 on the way
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313
 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg)
 Part 2 of >>384694545
 >I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond
 >I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene
 >They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces
 >Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived
 >In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing shit
 everywhere and even on Gimpy
 they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor
 The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers
 She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in shit
 In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile
 >Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from agai
 And that my friends...is how the war was won.
 I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome
 joyreactor.com
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: (ID: EsV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105
 Tard Stories Thread?
 Tard Stories Thread
 >Work as a Janitor for a High school
 Nice school to work for
 Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry
 Jerry is rude, messy, and always shits himself when startled (Which seems to be every single fucking time you speak to him)
 School's out and I'm mopping the floors
 Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me
 >I see him
 He points at me and laughs,
 then scuttles awa
 >Next day
 After school
 >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor
 I just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking
 Ohhellno.avi
 Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom
 Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a fucking sink ripped out of the wall
 smfw
 >M's war
 D (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063
 ile: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg)
 Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war
 >The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little fucknugget too
 >We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always shits himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always
 drags one foot-Gimpy)
 >Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain...
 >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy
 >Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces
 >Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping
 mfw
 O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136
 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg)
 Part IlI
 At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back
 tice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late
 >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to flirt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash
 around her roonm
 When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her
 >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder
 >A minor victory
 >The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day
 watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises"
 l calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards
 When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction
 >l turn on the sprinklers full force
 Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering
 ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mucd
 β–‘ (ID: E6qLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693 109
 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg)
 With the Score 2-1 Ineeded to figure out something else
 Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana
 >When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten...then walk
 away
 then starts screeching and flailing his arms wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that
 watch as he walks up, looks around
 involves humping the table
 then...he spots me
 >OHFUCK.avi
 mfw
 >He full on charges at me, fortunately...I had just mopped the floor in front of me
 >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545
 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg)
 >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good
 >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up
 on the last week of school they stayed after
 >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move shit off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights
 As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and shit in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the shit water all over a nice clean hallway
 >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction
 >Whatingodsname.avi
 round the corner to see the two smearing shit down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers
 >They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of shit
 >Then they try to charge me
 It seems they forgot that they used shit water on the floor and it was still wet
 >They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again
 I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching
 >Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast
 omfw
 Part 2 on the way
 (ID: E6qfLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313
 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg)
 Part 2 of >>384694545
 >I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond
 >I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene
 >They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces
 >Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived
 >In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing shit
 everywhere and even on Gimpy
 they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor
 The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers
 She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in shit
 In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile
 >Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from agai
 And that my friends...is how the war was won.
 I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome
 joyreactor.com
                
            

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Tarding: I saw a Cardinais tae yestenday and I jist lest it Fucking smug prick I was eating an outside unch at this nice itsle restaurant and he was sming wating some fucking salad Salad Typical tucking Tadinals fan He
 was there with his sthupid Tardinals fan we who of course was esting a fucking salad too
 Jesus Christ hate Cardinals fans so much
 I could tell he thought he was pan ef the best fans in basebal He didet say anything but the way that stupid pick was chewing Jesus Christ. He had a lucking Cardinals 1-shirt on ibet you he boughe it at the
 team store lke a uckeng schmuck. He and the tucking stupid cashie piobably had this big self satistactory exichange. Td Ha to buy this best t-shint in basebal wth the best money in basebail please T couldnt
 ucking believe this asshole Het kgoing at this tuckong salad Ske he's king of the wold
 ipat tred to poe tha, a te ten se-kng asaba but hejust kept at d eyte, leed away bed cownert ygiab for his water o son * 1 ceng pasa "aggress,bAht so that tugud raw my eye. to him
 LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME BEST FAN IN BASEBALL RIGHT HERE Jesut
 You should hav seen his we What a bich The watvess came by to ask them how their food was and she relayed how tucking satissed she was in the mest smug way pessible This fucking ftake-polteness
 Cardinals fans put on is ndiculous
 vy
 I caldnit fucking take t. I told that tucking idion whar s smug lucking tard he was He was ike dude wh are you talbing about ke he didet fuckeng know what a piek he was Itucking tackded him night there
 Staff caled the cops on me asiidd anything wong They are actualy going to fucking put me an trial for assaut Fucking Tardinals fans
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Tarding: I saw a Cardinais tae yestenday and I jist lest it Fucking smug prick I was eating an outside unch at this nice itsle restaurant and he was sming wating some fucking salad Salad Typical tucking Tadinals fan He
 was there with his sthupid Tardinals fan we who of course was esting a fucking salad too
 Jesus Christ hate Cardinals fans so much
 I could tell he thought he was pan ef the best fans in basebal He didet say anything but the way that stupid pick was chewing Jesus Christ. He had a lucking Cardinals 1-shirt on ibet you he boughe it at the
 team store lke a uckeng schmuck. He and the tucking stupid cashie piobably had this big self satistactory exichange. Td Ha to buy this best t-shint in basebal wth the best money in basebail please T couldnt
 ucking believe this asshole Het kgoing at this tuckong salad Ske he's king of the wold
 ipat tred to poe tha, a te ten se-kng asaba but hejust kept at d eyte, leed away bed cownert ygiab for his water o son * 1 ceng pasa "aggress,bAht so that tugud raw my eye. to him
 LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME BEST FAN IN BASEBALL RIGHT HERE Jesut
 You should hav seen his we What a bich The watvess came by to ask them how their food was and she relayed how tucking satissed she was in the mest smug way pessible This fucking ftake-polteness
 Cardinals fans put on is ndiculous
 vy
 I caldnit fucking take t. I told that tucking idion whar s smug lucking tard he was He was ike dude wh are you talbing about ke he didet fuckeng know what a piek he was Itucking tackded him night there
 Staff caled the cops on me asiidd anything wong They are actualy going to fucking put me an trial for assaut Fucking Tardinals fans