Teaching and Teach memes

🔥 | Latest

Amazon, Andrew Bogut, and Bailey Jay: old man bangers @FindusPancake My mum was teaching first holy communion class, and a kid asked her "How many communions do you have to do before you've eaten a whole Jesus?" 24/3/18, 8:48 am 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tobaeus: ralfmaximus: nyxetoile: antibutch: thats a valid question A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years. 1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000 But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well? The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood. Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml). So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times. Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33. How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. Osnap what an excellent question. Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter. 4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds. Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change. @danbensen Full Metal Eucharist “Full Metal Eucharist” I’m absolutely screaming 😂😂😂
Amazon, Andrew Bogut, and Bailey Jay: old man bangers
 @FindusPancake
 My mum was teaching first holy
 communion class, and a kid asked her
 "How many communions do you have
 to do before you've eaten a whole
 Jesus?"
 24/3/18, 8:48 am
 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes
danbensen:

exxos-von-steamboldt:

ralfmaximus:
moogloogle:

ralfmaximus:


tobaeus:


ralfmaximus:

nyxetoile:


antibutch:
thats a valid question
A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years.


1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000

But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well?


The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood.
Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml).
So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times.
Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33.


How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. 

Osnap what an excellent question.
Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter.
4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds.
Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change.

@danbensen

Full Metal Eucharist

“Full Metal Eucharist” I’m absolutely screaming 😂😂😂

danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tobaeus: ralfmaximus: nyxetoile: antibutch: thats a valid q...

Children, Crying, and Doe: The Root @TheRoot EROOT Following Betsy DeVos to Schools: Call ICE on Undocumented Children trib.al/pzH2ze6 5:40 PM - 24 May 2018 1,792 Retweets 1,558 Likes sheriff lonely heart @Flamin_Alpaca Follow This is actually illegal. She knows so little about public school that she doesn't realize undocumented children were afforded the right to a free public education (Plyler v. Doe, 1982). Future educators are taught this in our prep programs. Oh wait, Betsy was never a teacher. The Root@TheRoot Betsy DeVos to Schools: Call ICE on Undocumented Children trib.al /pzH2ze6 8:02 AM-26 May 2018 itsatru: welcometonegrotown: last year when i was teaching 11th grade one of my fav students came in crying so i put the class on a filler activity and we just talked. they were doing ICE raids in the city and she was worried her parents wouldnt be there when she got home. then she was worried that ICE may come to the school and take her. we looked the laws up together and printed it out so she could carry the papers with her.  it is illegal for ICE to raid a school and take children. ILLEGAL. i told my student (and eventually the class in like a blanket statement because i had quite a few undocumented students) that if anyone did come i would put my body between ICE and my students and really struggle. honestly my heart broke so much that day - take care of undocumented people in your life because they deserve so much better than this ffs. this woman is so very evil and has a black heart and i hope she rots in prison
Children, Crying, and Doe: The Root
 @TheRoot
 EROOT
 Following
 Betsy DeVos to Schools: Call ICE on
 Undocumented Children trib.al/pzH2ze6
 5:40 PM - 24 May 2018
 1,792 Retweets 1,558 Likes

 sheriff lonely heart
 @Flamin_Alpaca
 Follow
 This is actually illegal. She knows so little
 about public school that she doesn't realize
 undocumented children were afforded the
 right to a free public education (Plyler v. Doe,
 1982). Future educators are taught this in our
 prep programs. Oh wait, Betsy was never a
 teacher.
 The Root@TheRoot
 Betsy DeVos to Schools: Call ICE on Undocumented Children trib.al
 /pzH2ze6
 8:02 AM-26 May 2018
itsatru:
welcometonegrotown:

last year when i was teaching 11th grade one of my fav students came in crying so i put the class on a filler activity and we just talked. they were doing ICE raids in the city and she was worried her parents wouldnt be there when she got home. then she was worried that ICE may come to the school and take her. we looked the laws up together and printed it out so she could carry the papers with her. 
it is illegal for ICE to raid a school and take children. ILLEGAL. i told my student (and eventually the class in like a blanket statement because i had quite a few undocumented students) that if anyone did come i would put my body between ICE and my students and really struggle. honestly my heart broke so much that day - take care of undocumented people in your life because they deserve so much better than this ffs. this woman is so very evil and has a black heart and i hope she rots in prison

itsatru: welcometonegrotown: last year when i was teaching 11th grade one of my fav students came in crying so i put the class on a filler ...

God, Shit, and True: verysofisticatedjaws-claws reliqiousragings Why Did God Create Atheists? There is a famous story told in Chassidic literature that addresses this very question. The Master teaches the student that God created everything in the world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson One clever student asks What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did God create them?" The Master responds "God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of them all-the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist performs and act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching He does not believe that god commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his acts are based on an inner sense of morality. And look at the kindness he can bestow upon others simply because he feels it to be right This means, the Master continued "that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should never say T pray that God will help you. Instead for the moment, you should become an atheist, imagine that there is no God who can help, and say I will help you ETA source: Tales of Hasidim Vol. 2 by Mar razairazerci I started reading this and was worried it would be something attacking atheists or bashing religion, but this makes me really, really happy naamahdarling imagine that there is no God who can help, and say 'I will help you." Holy shit Holy shit Yes YES I will help you
God, Shit, and True: verysofisticatedjaws-claws
 reliqiousragings
 Why Did God Create Atheists?
 There is a famous story told in Chassidic literature that addresses this very
 question. The Master teaches the student that God created everything in the
 world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson
 One clever student asks What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did
 God create them?"
 The Master responds "God created atheists to teach us the most important
 lesson of them all-the lesson of true compassion. You see, when an atheist
 performs and act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need
 and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching
 He does not believe that god commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he
 does not believe in God at all, so his acts are based on an inner sense of
 morality. And look at the kindness he can bestow upon others simply because
 he feels it to be right
 This means, the Master continued "that when someone reaches out to you for
 help, you should never say T pray that God will help you. Instead for the
 moment, you should become an atheist, imagine that there is no God who can
 help, and say I will help you
 ETA source: Tales of Hasidim Vol. 2 by Mar
 razairazerci
 I started reading this and was worried it would be something attacking atheists
 or bashing religion, but this makes me really, really happy
 naamahdarling
 imagine that there is no God who can help, and say 'I will help you."
 Holy shit
 Holy shit
 Yes YES
I will help you

I will help you