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Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683) No.46363786 Anonymous 18 min. ago >be me >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie mom and son come up >absolute units, their hands were fucking round perfectly fucking round, like a baseball little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they came back from Walmart after getting a fish poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the fish food one of those families that has each family member go up to order for themselves hate these kinds of families mama blob starts ordering out of breath from standing in line >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest while ordering could have fucking swore i heard the counter rumble yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant* big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a large diet coke sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the table breathes in sharply struggles to take elbows off of table finally accomplishes the task finally accomplishes the task two huge wet marks take up the register section those are her fucking elbows her elbows actually fucking sweated little blob comes up to order "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries.. *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet Coke *pant* brings fish bowl out onto counter "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate *pant* milkshake >a fucking fishbowl sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill things that aren't McDonalds cups mama blob starts throwing a tantrum "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT TO HIM" maam, we cann >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER go get manager >he just repeats what I said tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to fill it if she wants "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!" "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!" >me and manager stare at each other did she really just say that mama blob sees us looking at each other cont. whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time just looking at us >mama blob hears something turns her body to look backward >a gentle greasy breeze hits me >sees a couple people snickering turns back around "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!" >me and manager stay silent tears start to well up in her eyes could have just been sweat though face turns redder grabs her son's hand "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!" >something deep down told me that wasn't true >pulls her son's hand waddles out hear her panting as she opens the door notice something >me and manager both notice it look at each other there was something brown in the middle of Hammy's ass could it be could it fucking be look at her legs brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg >she sharted >she actually fucking sharted and left a brown trail had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5 minutes janitor almost puked cleaning it up Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake
Ass, Baseball, and Fall: jpg (46 KB, 1024x683)
 No.46363786
 Anonymous
 18 min. ago
 >be me
 >working register at mcd's like a fucking wagie
 mom and son come up
 >absolute units, their hands were fucking round
 perfectly fucking round, like a baseball
 little blob holding a small fish bowl, maybe they
 came back from Walmart after getting a fish
 poor fish, probably doesn't even get his ration of the
 fish food
 one of those families that has each family member
 go up to order for themselves
 hate these kinds of families
 mama blob starts ordering
 out of breath from standing in line
 >slams her elbows down onto the counter to rest
 while ordering
 could have fucking swore i heard the counter
 rumble
 yaah *pant* could i have a *pant* ahhhhh *pant*
 big Mac *pant* make that two actually... *pant* no
 three.... and a *pant* basket of fries and *pant* a
 large diet coke
 sweat beads fall down from her chins onto the
 table
 breathes in sharply
 struggles to take elbows off of table
 finally accomplishes the task

 finally accomplishes the task
 two huge wet marks take up the register section
 those are her fucking elbows
 her elbows actually fucking sweated
 little blob comes up to order
 "can i have 2 big Macs pant* a basket of fries..
 *pant* make that two actually *pant* and a large diet
 Coke *pant*
 brings fish bowl out onto counter
 "and... *pant* fill this up *pant* with chocolate
 *pant* milkshake
 >a
 fucking
 fishbowl
 sorry, our largest size is a large. we cannot fill
 things that aren't McDonalds cups
 mama blob starts throwing a tantrum
 "HE WANTS HIS FUCKING MILKSHAKE SO GIVE IT
 TO HIM"
 maam, we cann
 >"LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER
 go get manager
 >he just repeats what I said
 tells her she can buy about 10 large milkshakes to
 fill it if she wants
 "DAS TOO EXPENSIVE!!!"
 "TOO MUCH CALORIES!!!"
 >me and manager stare at each other
 did she really just say that
 mama blob sees us looking at each other
 cont.

 whole restaurant has been quiet this whole time
 just looking at us
 >mama blob hears something
 turns her body to look backward
 >a gentle greasy breeze hits me
 >sees a couple people snickering
 turns back around
 "YOURE EMBARRASSING ME!!"
 >me and manager stay silent
 tears start to well up in her eyes
 could have just been sweat though
 face turns redder
 grabs her son's hand
 "WE'RE NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!"
 >something deep down told me that wasn't true
 >pulls her son's hand
 waddles out
 hear her panting as she opens the door
 notice something
 >me and manager both notice it
 look at each other
 there was something brown in the middle of
 Hammy's ass
 could it be
 could it fucking be
 look at her legs
 brown liquid streaking the inside of her right leg
 >she sharted
 >she actually fucking sharted
 and left a brown trail
 had to febreeze the fuck out of that place for 5
 minutes
 janitor almost puked cleaning it up
Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Hammy & Boy: A Shitty Quest for Fishbowl Milkshake

Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male Have an objectively 6, subjectively 8/10 asian gf who loves me 182 KB JPG Major trust issues from a relationship that went bad a while ago relationship friends since 13 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last We've known each other since we were 12, been Tell her I love her evervdav Despite her always replying that she loves me to, start doubting that Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual Ohshitlmaydieavirgin Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out she's single Lie and say I'm single She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a Leaf) > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf Continue? Alright then go to the meet up with ex s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing She got me a coffee alread >It was the same type of coffee I drank when was with her on our first date (Double double) >She smiles, it looks cute on her > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly visible erection I sat down faster than I lost my erection s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a spark > I havent felt this spark for a few years Eventually she says what both of us have been thinking "We should get back together." Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being single at this point, but I also like her a lot more than my gf > Decide to keep it going "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with work. > I just lost my job > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in, which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does Invite her over one time She says "Why not tonight?" My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and my buddy is out of townm Sure, what could go wrong? Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.? > Take her back to the apartment > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do She immediately gives me a smile that could only mean one of two things, sex or something sexual > Before I can say anything she notices a picture have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf >"Who's this?" > I panic > My sister >She gets confused. My sister is asian? > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI met your family > Ohshit.jpg > I make up a story on the spot about my parents splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My parents fought once in front of her. Not too far fetched "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically jumping into my arms after putting the photo down Haven't even blown a load in at least a week >Boner is visible >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and mine not matching up >Suddenly remember second was that she was a crazy bitch towards me sometimes > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed crazv bitch towards me sometimes >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember this in a month Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No worries s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my roommates bed Wake up to a banging on the door Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast and my best friends gf at the door Wtf I yell through the door at her "What do you want?" (My best bud) left something and needed her to bring it to him > I open the door cautiously She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo knows about my af She asks to talk to me in private Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break I don't lie to her >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without my buds thing he needed "What was that?" My ex asks Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were gonna tumble down Cont? > "What was that anon?" >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried > She looks back at the photo of me and my "sister I look down at the floor My ex suddenly pieces something together right then and there >"ls she vour girlfriend?" > I fucking crumble and admit everything >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as understandably upset > ''You should call her No >"I need you to do this for me" I do > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the sexual details > She sounds pretty heartbroken I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l would have hoped She hangs up on me I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl | ever loved > She hugs me awkwardly one last time > "I need one more thing from you > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?" > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about tree fiddy I suddenly realised what I should have long ago My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a crustacean from the paleozoic era The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me again Anon is conflicted
Af, Asian, and Aww: Anonymous 04/23/18 (Mon)22:57:12 No.766778676
 Hey /b/romosexuals, story time
 > Be me, 17 year old 7/10 male
 Have an objectively 6,
 subjectively 8/10 asian gf who
 loves me
 182 KB JPG
 Major trust issues from a
 relationship that went bad a while ago
 relationship
 friends since 13
 Clingy af, probably still a result of that last
 We've known each other since we were 12, been
 Tell her I love her evervdav
 Despite her always replying that she loves me to,
 start doubting that
 Gf tells me after a lot of thinking, she's asexual
 Ohshitlmaydieavirgin
 Suddenly text my ex spontaneously, find out
 she's single
 Lie and say I'm single
 She asks to meet up for a coffee at Tims (I'm a
 Leaf)
 > I decide to go because I'm pissed at my gf
 Continue?

 Alright then
 go to the meet up with ex
 s my ex is just as beautiful as ever. She has
 shorter hair and small tits but thats sorta my thing
 She got me a coffee alread
 >It was the same type of coffee I drank when
 was with her on our first date (Double double)
 >She smiles, it looks cute on her
 > I ask her whats up, and she mentions my clearly
 visible erection
 I sat down faster than I lost my erection
 s We make small talk for a bit, we instantly have a
 spark
 > I havent felt this spark for a few years
 Eventually she says what both of us have been
 thinking
 "We should get back together."
 Idk what to say. Can't tell her I lied about being
 single at this point, but I also like her a lot more
 than my gf
 > Decide to keep it going
 "Sure, but I don't have a lot of free time with
 work.
 > I just lost my job
 > I give her the address to the apartment I'm in,
 which I don't actually pay for. My best bud does
 Invite her over one time
 She says "Why not tonight?"
 My gf hasn't text me and doesnt have a key, and
 my buddy is out of townm
 Sure, what could go wrong?
 Almost done the story /b/ois, cont.?

 > Take her back to the apartment
 > Time is a bit late. Ask her what she wants to do
 She immediately gives me a smile that could
 only mean one of two things, sex or something
 sexual
 > Before I can say anything she notices a picture
 have of me and my girlfriend on top of the shelf
 >"Who's this?"
 > I panic
 > My sister
 >She gets confused. My sister is asian?
 > "You never told me you had a sister, anon, andI
 met your family
 > Ohshit.jpg
 > I make up a story on the spot about my parents
 splitting and my dad remarrying. She's my
 stepsister. We broke up over a year ago. My
 parents fought once in front of her. Not too far
 fetched
 "Aww, anon. I'm so sorry." She says, basically
 jumping into my arms after putting the photo
 down
 Haven't even blown a load in at least a week
 >Boner is visible
 >She goes for it. I had forgotten that one of the
 main reasons we broke up was her sex drive and
 mine not matching up
 >Suddenly remember second was that she was a
 crazy bitch towards me sometimes
 > I just go with it and hope that I wont remember
 this in a month
 Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No
 worries
 sWe fall asleep in eachothers arms on my
 roommates bed

 crazv bitch towards me sometimes
 >I just go with it and hope that I wont remember
 this in a month
 Best sex I ever had. (I bagged up tho. No
 worries
 s We fall asleep in eachothers arms on my
 roommates bed
 Wake up to a banging on the door
 Groggily get up to find my ex making breakfast
 and my best friends gf at the door
 Wtf
 I yell through the door at her "What do you want?"
 (My best bud) left something and needed her to
 bring it to him
 > I open the door cautiously
 She sees my ex, and me half naked. She ofo
 knows about my af
 She asks to talk to me in private
 Takes me to the bedroom, locks the door and
 quietly asks me "Are you cheating or did you break
 I don't lie to her
 >She gets frustrated with me and leaves without
 my buds thing he needed
 "What was that?" My ex asks
 Now T don't remember exactly what I said at this
 point because I was scared shitless. My buds gf
 was for sure gonna tell mine and now things were
 gonna tumble down
 Cont?

 > "What was that anon?"
 >Ex js getting visibly annoyed and worried
 > She looks back at the photo of me and my
 "sister
 I look down at the floor
 My ex suddenly pieces something together right
 then and there
 >"ls she vour girlfriend?"
 > I fucking crumble and admit everything
 >She's surprisingly understanding, but just as
 understandably upset
 > ''You should call her
 No
 >"I need you to do this for me"
 I do
 > I explain the whole thing to her, sparing the
 sexual details
 > She sounds pretty heartbroken
 I try to console her but it doesnt work as well as l
 would have hoped
 She hangs up on me
 I'm in a puddle of tears sitting next to the first girl
 | ever loved
 > She hugs me awkwardly one last time
 > "I need one more thing from you
 > I look at her and wipe away some tears. "What?"
 > She smiles at me warmly and says "I need about
 tree fiddy
 I suddenly realised what I should have long ago
 My ex was about 8 stories tall and was a
 crustacean from the paleozoic era
 The god damn loch ness monster had tricked me
 again
Anon is conflicted

Anon is conflicted

Apparently, Beautiful, and Confused: Hi Morning Your holiday Monday off to a good start? Monday 09:15 Yes nice what r u looking for on tinder Monday 12:13 Nothing specific. I'm not around for long Monday 18:15 Ok Today 06:20 I feel the hunger on foreign skin, wants to absorb the scent of foreign skin, I want to drill my teeth into your flesh Draw marks on my skin with my nails. I want to feel how you give yourself to me, how you become soft and yielding, deliver you, just feel, just give, until you melt helpless in my arms I want to drink you empty like a sweet fruit, absorb your pain and moans into me Take heat and give it. Playing on your nipples, until your moans penetrate my ear like a beautiful melody. l want to touch, dominate, explore to the last corner of your soul And then start over. Slowly. Persevering. Relish I let your soul slip through my hands, shape and encourage you Protect you. I will kiss your tears away. Find you nice. Over and over again Today 07:49 Today 08:21 ....huh? When was ur last sex Today 09:32 I'm very confused about the turn this conversation has taken I thought you were looking for feedback on your....poetry. Or whatever that was Did u read the poem? I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? Sent GIF Type a message... I did. Are you looking for constructive feedback? I am lookin for a feedback about what u feel it u like it Well, some of your metaphors are a little off. l'd also look at breaking out the old thesaurus the use of 'foreign skin' twice in two lines and 'moans' twice in one stanza could do with changing up. Also, beginning stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is a good device, but you need to carry it through to the rest of the stanzas for it to really be effective Also very unsure on the find you nice' line All together it's a good beginning effort Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like this type of sex Surely the sex in the poem is a metaphor for death though? It's not intended to be read literally as a sex act Do u read the dominant part? Yes, I want to touch [... last corner of your soul' - death is the ultimate dominator, and through the end of life manages to reach through to the very ends of our souls There is a feeling of rebirth, new life in this stanza though 'and then start over [...] persevering Maybe this is more about loss and finding oneself again than it is about death Sent GIF Type a message.. Do u like domiant men? The world is full of dominant men and it doesn't seem to be working so well for it Sent Type a message GIF .. Apparently not ready for the literary critique
Apparently, Beautiful, and Confused: Hi
 Morning
 Your holiday Monday off to a
 good start?
 Monday 09:15
 Yes nice what r u looking for on
 tinder
 Monday 12:13
 Nothing specific. I'm not around
 for long
 Monday 18:15
 Ok
 Today 06:20
 I feel the hunger on foreign
 skin,
 wants to absorb the scent of
 foreign skin,
 I want to drill my teeth into your
 flesh
 Draw marks on my skin with my
 nails.
 I want to feel how you give
 yourself to me,
 how you become soft and
 yielding,
 deliver you, just feel, just give,
 until you melt helpless in my
 arms
 I want to drink you empty like a
 sweet fruit,
 absorb your pain and moans
 into me
 Take heat and give it. Playing
 on your nipples,
 until your moans penetrate my
 ear like a beautiful melody.
 l want to touch, dominate,
 explore
 to the last corner of your soul
 And then start over.
 Slowly. Persevering. Relish
 I let your soul slip through my
 hands,
 shape and encourage you
 Protect you.
 I will kiss your tears away.
 Find you nice. Over and over
 again

 Today 07:49
 Today 08:21
 ....huh?
 When was ur last sex
 Today 09:32
 I'm very confused about the turn
 this conversation has taken
 I thought you were looking for
 feedback on your....poetry. Or
 whatever that was
 Did u read the poem?
 I did. Are you looking for
 constructive feedback?
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message...

 I did. Are you looking for
 constructive feedback?
 I am lookin for a feedback
 about what u feel it u like it
 Well, some of your metaphors
 are a little off. l'd also look at
 breaking out the old thesaurus
 the use of 'foreign skin' twice
 in two lines and 'moans' twice
 in one stanza could do with
 changing up. Also, beginning
 stanzas 2,3 & 4 with 'l want' is
 a good device, but you need
 to carry it through to the rest
 of the stanzas for it to really be
 effective
 Also very unsure on the find you
 nice' line
 All together it's a good
 beginning effort
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message..

 Do u like this type of sex
 Surely the sex in the poem is a
 metaphor for death though? It's
 not intended to be read literally
 as a sex act
 Do u read the dominant part?
 Yes, I want to touch [... last
 corner of your soul' - death is
 the ultimate dominator, and
 through the end of life manages
 to reach through to the very
 ends of our souls
 There is a feeling of rebirth, new
 life in this stanza though 'and
 then start over [...] persevering
 Maybe this is more about loss
 and finding oneself again than it
 is about death
 Sent
 GIF
 Type a message..

 Do u like domiant men?
 The world is full of dominant
 men and it doesn't seem to be
 working so well for it
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
 ..
Apparently not ready for the literary critique

Apparently not ready for the literary critique

Bad, Family, and God: Justino Mora @JustinoMora1 Hector Barajas, a U.S. veteran, was deported in 2004. Today, our dear friend Hector won his battle against the U.S. government and will be allowed to return home, become a U.S. citizen, and reunite with his family! Hector will be sworn in as a citizen on April 13th in San Diego. Yass!! 💜🙌🏽😊 Via The San Diego Union-Tribune: "Hector Barajas, who became the face and voice of deported veterans after his own deportation, will be allowed to return to the place he considers home and become a U.S. citizen. Barajas burst into joyous tears seated on a couch Thursday afternoon in front of a large American flag as he read a document informing him that he would be sworn in as a citizen on April 13 in San Diego. “Fourteen years, man,” Hector said, his voice cracking. “Oh my God, this is great. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”. “I’m coming home, mom!” he added. Barajas was honorably discharged from the Army in 2001 but struggled readjusting to civilian life. He took a plea deal for a charge of shooting at an occupied car in 2002. Because of that conviction, the government took away his green card, and he was deported in 2004 after he finished a prison sentence. “I made bad decisions,” Barajas-Varela told the Union-Tribune last year about that time in his life. “I put myself in that situation... I wouldn’t put myself in that situation again.” Barajas founded the Deported Veterans Support House, known to many as “the Bunker,” in 2013 to support deportees in Tijuana. He became a leader in a push for legislative changes to help U.S. military veterans who had not become citizens avoid deportation and to bring back those who were already removed. He was born in Mexico but raised in Los Angeles from age seven. Since he had a green card, he was able to serve in the Army and was part of the 82nd Airborne Division from 1995 to 2001. At the time, he thought he’d automatically become a citizen, but that was not the case. Members of the military are allowed to apply for citizenship with no waiting period. They still have to fill out the paperwork and pass the tests. Noncitizens who serve in the military are still at risk for deportation if they commit crimes that can cause the U.S. to revoke their green cards."
Bad, Family, and God: Justino Mora
 @JustinoMora1
 Hector Barajas, a U.S. veteran, was
 deported in 2004. Today, our dear friend
 Hector won his battle against the U.S.
 government and will be allowed to return
 home, become a U.S. citizen, and reunite
 with his family!
 Hector will be sworn in as a citizen on
 April 13th in San Diego.
Yass!! 💜🙌🏽😊 Via The San Diego Union-Tribune: "Hector Barajas, who became the face and voice of deported veterans after his own deportation, will be allowed to return to the place he considers home and become a U.S. citizen. Barajas burst into joyous tears seated on a couch Thursday afternoon in front of a large American flag as he read a document informing him that he would be sworn in as a citizen on April 13 in San Diego. “Fourteen years, man,” Hector said, his voice cracking. “Oh my God, this is great. Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”. “I’m coming home, mom!” he added. Barajas was honorably discharged from the Army in 2001 but struggled readjusting to civilian life. He took a plea deal for a charge of shooting at an occupied car in 2002. Because of that conviction, the government took away his green card, and he was deported in 2004 after he finished a prison sentence. “I made bad decisions,” Barajas-Varela told the Union-Tribune last year about that time in his life. “I put myself in that situation... I wouldn’t put myself in that situation again.” Barajas founded the Deported Veterans Support House, known to many as “the Bunker,” in 2013 to support deportees in Tijuana. He became a leader in a push for legislative changes to help U.S. military veterans who had not become citizens avoid deportation and to bring back those who were already removed. He was born in Mexico but raised in Los Angeles from age seven. Since he had a green card, he was able to serve in the Army and was part of the 82nd Airborne Division from 1995 to 2001. At the time, he thought he’d automatically become a citizen, but that was not the case. Members of the military are allowed to apply for citizenship with no waiting period. They still have to fill out the paperwork and pass the tests. Noncitizens who serve in the military are still at risk for deportation if they commit crimes that can cause the U.S. to revoke their green cards."

Yass!! 💜🙌🏽😊 Via The San Diego Union-Tribune: "Hector Barajas, who became the face and voice of deported veterans after his own deportation, ...