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Another One, Poop, and Best: Had to say goodbye to the best boy ever today. I miss him terribly, but he was in awful pain. Happy trails Poop. There will never be another one like you.
Another One, Poop, and Best: Had to say goodbye to the best boy ever today. I miss him terribly, but he was in awful pain. Happy trails Poop. There will never be another one like you.

Had to say goodbye to the best boy ever today. I miss him terribly, but he was in awful pain. Happy trails Poop. There will never be another...

Crazy, Doctor, and Dogs: vaspider When I was ten years old, a dog bit the back of my head. The doctor said, within earshot but out of sight- he didnt think I could hear him-that had the dog's teeth been a little longer, they could have gone in under my skull. Hit my brain stem. Killed me, crippled me I don't know whether or not he was right. All I know is that for a decade and a half after that, I harbored a complete and unreasoning terror of dogs. It didn't matter how big they were, or how tame, or how kind. Someone else could assure me that they were the best dog in the world, that they knew the dog that he would never hurt anyone, and it didn't matter, because I was convinced that any dog could suddenly turn on me, bite me hard enough to kill me There were two dogs I slowly learned to trust during that time period. And eventually, I learned to understand dogs again, to understand their body anguage, to like them again, because my husband convinced me to get a puppy, to raise a dog from when it was smal, that this would help me get over my fea No one ever told me I was crazy or irrational for not wanting to be around dogs after l'd been attacked and nearly killed by one. No one. For fifteen years, it was understandable that I would be afraid -terribly, unreasoningly afraid - of dogs. A dog attacked me. I bore the traumatic scars. I found dogs terrifying unpredictable. I could not trust any of them no matter how kind they'd beern to my friends, no matter how well-recommended they came or how well they'd been raised not to turn on me and injure me When I was fifteen, I was raped. Do I even need to finish this? goddess3 THIS IS WHAT I SAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND NO ONE UNDEFSTANDS What some people really need to understand
Crazy, Doctor, and Dogs: vaspider
 When I was ten years old, a dog bit the back of my head. The doctor said,
 within earshot but out of sight- he didnt think I could hear him-that had the
 dog's teeth been a little longer, they could have gone in under my skull. Hit my
 brain stem. Killed me, crippled me
 I don't know whether or not he was right. All I know is that for a decade and a
 half after that, I harbored a complete and unreasoning terror of dogs. It didn't
 matter how big they were, or how tame, or how kind. Someone else could
 assure me that they were the best dog in the world, that they knew the dog
 that he would never hurt anyone, and it didn't matter, because I was convinced
 that any dog could suddenly turn on me, bite me hard enough to kill me
 There were two dogs I slowly learned to trust during that time period. And
 eventually, I learned to understand dogs again, to understand their body
 anguage, to like them again, because my husband convinced me to get a
 puppy, to raise a dog from when it was smal, that this would help me get over
 my fea
 No one ever told me I was crazy or irrational for not wanting to be around dogs
 after l'd been attacked and nearly killed by one. No one. For fifteen years, it
 was understandable that I would be afraid -terribly, unreasoningly afraid - of
 dogs. A dog attacked me. I bore the traumatic scars. I found dogs terrifying
 unpredictable. I could not trust any of them no matter how kind they'd beern
 to my friends, no matter how well-recommended they came or how well they'd
 been raised not to turn on me and injure me
 When I was fifteen, I was raped.
 Do I even need to finish this?
 goddess3
 THIS IS WHAT I SAY ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND NO ONE
 UNDEFSTANDS
What some people really need to understand

What some people really need to understand

Funny, Caboose, and Terribly: Caboose wasn't terribly bright, but he was about to learn a valuable lesson.
Funny, Caboose, and Terribly: Caboose wasn't terribly bright, but he was about to learn a valuable lesson.

Caboose wasn't terribly bright, but he was about to learn a valuable lesson.

Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise. What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!! I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed: Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?” I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since. New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:  She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days. And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention. ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water:
abracataako:

merak-zoran:

fire-is-her-water:


My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.




What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!

I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: 
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe

fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’...

Anaconda, Drunk, and Friends: Sprint Wi-Fi 2:25 PM Tweet tl saint lil rogue Retweeted Noob Saibot @Mommaafro So a woman's idea of being friends is being friends? Chef Nol @UR_SO_ COOL_NOL A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company...while I have sex with someone else." 9/14/17, 9:26 AM 115 Retweets 168 Likes Tweet your reply 2 astronomically-androngynous: sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem. So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company. So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.  So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers. The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend. y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack
Anaconda, Drunk, and Friends: Sprint Wi-Fi
 2:25 PM
 Tweet
 tl saint lil rogue Retweeted
 Noob Saibot
 @Mommaafro
 So a woman's idea of being friends is
 being friends?
 Chef Nol @UR_SO_ COOL_NOL
 A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is
 "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me
 company...while I have sex with someone
 else."
 9/14/17, 9:26 AM
 115 Retweets 168 Likes
 Tweet your reply
 2
astronomically-androngynous:
sounddesignerjeans:

princess-mint:

alarajrogers:

niambi:
I’m????
Oh my God this actually explains so much.
So there’s a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you can’t get emotional support unless you’re drunk, you have a problem.
So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women’s friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can’t lean on her when you’re weak, she’s not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.
So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That’s what a romantic partner does. But women think that’s what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.
This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don’t die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don’t suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don’t put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isn’t manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. 
So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can’t reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It’s emotional, it’s important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn’t have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men can’t share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can’t get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like it’s a commodity… because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can’t share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.
The only way to fix this is to teach boys it’s okay to love your friends. It’s okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It’s okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved… so men, this one’s on you. Women can’t fix this for you; you don’t listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.

The next time a guy says, “What? You don't want to be my friend?” I’ll text him this and then ask if he really wants to be friends or just have another potential girlfriend.

y’all I am living for these analyses where the new way to fight the patriarchy is to teach men to love each other and themselves


Im a communication student and can confirm the above is absolutely 100% accurate and it’s called agentic vs communal friendship theorized by Steven McCornack

astronomically-androngynous: sounddesignerjeans: princess-mint: alarajrogers: niambi: I’m???? Oh my God this actually explains so much. S...

Alive, Amazon, and Apparently: someone: if you keep listening to your music so loudly, you'i1 be deaf by the time you're 20 me: WHAT jumpingjacktrash: cromulentenough: quinnbee-s: portmanteau-bot: boogiewoogiebuglegal: theprinceofprinces: 1337banna: gottalovesteak: 1337banna: gottalovesteak: magic-in-a-bottle: teuthidactyl: peaceheather: beanmom: ask-gallows-callibrator: demon-sweets: No. Just no. Ok? So I used to make this joke all the time. Now I have chronic tinnitus. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s nerve damage in your ears which often comes as a result of being constantly exposed to very loud noise for a long period of time. The nerve damage results in a constant ringing/buzzing in your ears. So far there’s no cure. The severity of it varies, and I’m lucky to have a mild case, which I can barely hear during the day and is easy to block out at night. That said, loads of people with tinnitus aren’t so lucky. Severe tinnitus can’t be blocked out. Those who suffer from it also suffer from severe loss of sleep, depression, anxiety…. the list goes on. Tinnitus also comes with a degree of hearing loss in most cases, making it even harder to ignore. In fact, some people with severe tinnitus kill themselves just to make the ringing stop. Tinnitus can be so severe that it drives a person to suicide. Chronic tinnitus used to mostly be prevalent in older people who worked for years with loud machinery etc, but all of a sudden it’s becoming more common in our generation. Why? Because of people, like me, who listened to their music too goddamn loudly through their headphones. Deaf by the time you’re 20? Please. That’s the least of your worries. Please reblog. This post reminded me to move my music further away and turn it down. Someone else may need to be more cautious of their shit too. Chronic mild tinnitus here, too, due to too many metal concerts in my youth.  Turn your headphones down a little.  Wear earplugs at concerts.  Protect your ears. Your eyes have an iris that can shrink down, and eyelids that can squint shut, to protect them from light that is too bright. Your ears have NOTHING to block out sounds that are too loud. It’s up to you. Tinnitus sufferer from drumline in high school checking in. These days I wear earplugs at concerts, rehearsals, clubs, and even movies sometimes. Get yourself a set that look like these ones: Etymotics Research was one of the first companies I’m aware of to widely market with this sort of ear plug, and they’re great, because they reduce noise fairly evenly across the spectrum, and so you hear everything accurately, just quieter.  While they’re certainly more expensive than the foam earplugs that you see everywhere, they also are washable and last for months and months, and sound great, if not better than without  for live music.  Please protect your ears.  There is no way to recover lost hearing. Apparently I had this. I just thought silence was a ringing sound you also might have even been “born” with this. a lot of people with sensory issues (especially autistic or ADD/ADHD people) experience this when it’s silent around them but havent actually hurt their ears with music at all. so its also a sensory processing thing and you can be “born” with it (aka develop with it in childhood) like i have Wait I thought that ringing was normal?? I hear ringing when its dead silent are you seriously saying my ADHD causes this???? I thought everyone had that???!!??! normal people dont have that ringing noise. while it’s minor in cases of sensory development issues from developmental disorders, it can be severe if a person with a developmental disorder listens to loud music. i know that sometimes during a sensory overload from autism, the ringing will become terribly loud Oh lord ok. Be careful with loud noises. Gotcha. I didnt realize not everyone hears that ringing. I thought it was normal so I never asked if anyone else heard it too. Thanks for the warning about loud music! Ive always tried to avoid going to concerts because of the ringing but I thought it was a thing everyone put up with and that I was being a wimp. Im glad I have an explanation! That’s why the ringing gets louder? SIGNAL BOOST signal + boost = signoost.Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon when is was like 5 i thought it was like, a normal constant sound that came with being alive on a populous planet/in the universe, kinda like gravity or light or smthn, until I figured out that other people can actually hear silence When people talked about the sound of silence I thought that’s what they meant. But yeah I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. i’m autistic and i used to play in a punk band and go to a lot of rock shows in the 90′s. the ringing is always there. it always will be. could drive me crazy if i let it, but i’m a practical type, so i just deal. but you don’t want this if you don’t have to have it. turn your shit down, y’all.
Alive, Amazon, and Apparently: someone: if you keep listening to your music so loudly, you'i1
 be deaf by the time you're 20
 me: WHAT
jumpingjacktrash:
cromulentenough:

quinnbee-s:

portmanteau-bot:

boogiewoogiebuglegal:

theprinceofprinces:

1337banna:

gottalovesteak:


1337banna:

gottalovesteak:


magic-in-a-bottle:

teuthidactyl:


peaceheather:

beanmom:

ask-gallows-callibrator:


demon-sweets:


No. Just no. Ok?
So I used to make this joke all the time. Now I have chronic tinnitus. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s nerve damage in your ears which often comes as a result of being constantly exposed to very loud noise for a long period of time. The nerve damage results in a constant ringing/buzzing in your ears. So far there’s no cure. The severity of it varies, and I’m lucky to have a mild case, which I can barely hear during the day and is easy to block out at night. That said, loads of people with tinnitus aren’t so lucky. Severe tinnitus can’t be blocked out. Those who suffer from it also suffer from severe loss of sleep, depression, anxiety…. the list goes on. Tinnitus also comes with a degree of hearing loss in most cases, making it even harder to ignore. In fact, some people with severe tinnitus kill themselves just to make the ringing stop. Tinnitus can be so severe that it drives a person to suicide. Chronic tinnitus used to mostly be prevalent in older people who worked for years with loud machinery etc, but all of a sudden it’s becoming more common in our generation. Why? Because of people, like me, who listened to their music too goddamn loudly through their headphones.
Deaf by the time you’re 20? Please. That’s the least of your worries.


Please reblog. This post reminded me to move my music further away and turn it down. Someone else may need to be more cautious of their shit too.


Chronic mild tinnitus here, too, due to too many metal concerts in my youth.  Turn your headphones down a little.  Wear earplugs at concerts.  Protect your ears.


Your eyes have an iris that can shrink down, and eyelids that can squint shut, to protect them from light that is too bright. Your ears have NOTHING to block out sounds that are too loud. It’s up to you.

Tinnitus sufferer from drumline in high school checking in. These days I wear earplugs at concerts, rehearsals,  clubs, and even movies sometimes.   Get yourself a set that look like these ones:

Etymotics Research was one of the first companies I’m aware of to widely market with this 
sort of ear plug, and they’re great, because they reduce noise fairly 
evenly across the spectrum, and so you hear everything accurately, just 
quieter.  While they’re certainly more expensive than the foam earplugs 
that you see everywhere, they also are washable and last for months and 
months, and sound great, if not better than without  for live music.  Please protect your ears.  There is no way to recover lost 
hearing.




Apparently I had this. I just thought silence was a ringing sound

you also might have even been “born” with this. a lot of people with sensory issues (especially autistic or ADD/ADHD people) experience this when it’s silent around them but havent actually hurt their ears with music at all.
so its also a sensory processing thing and you can be “born” with it (aka develop with it in childhood) like i have


Wait I thought that ringing was normal?? I hear ringing when its dead silent are you seriously saying my ADHD causes this???? I thought everyone had that???!!??!

normal people dont have that ringing noise. while it’s minor in cases of sensory development issues from developmental disorders, it can be severe if a person with a developmental disorder listens to loud music. i know that sometimes during a sensory overload from autism, the ringing will become terribly loud


Oh lord ok. Be careful with loud noises. Gotcha. I didnt realize not everyone hears that ringing. I thought it was normal so I never asked if anyone else heard it too. Thanks for the warning about loud music! Ive always tried to avoid going to concerts because of the ringing but I thought it was a thing everyone put up with and that I was being a wimp. Im glad I have an explanation!

That’s why the ringing gets louder?

SIGNAL BOOST


signal + boost = signoost.Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon


when is was like 5 i thought it was like, a normal constant sound that came with being alive on a populous planet/in the universe, kinda like gravity or light or smthn, until I figured out that other people can actually hear silence


When people talked about the sound of silence I thought that’s what they meant. But yeah I’ve had it for as long as I can remember.

i’m autistic and i used to play in a punk band and go to a lot of rock shows in the 90′s. the ringing is always there. it always will be. could drive me crazy if i let it, but i’m a practical type, so i just deal. but you don’t want this if you don’t have to have it. turn your shit down, y’all.

jumpingjacktrash: cromulentenough: quinnbee-s: portmanteau-bot: boogiewoogiebuglegal: theprinceofprinces: 1337banna: gottalovesteak: ...

America, Nintendo, and Soon...: -1 1 Nintendo D irect 9.6.2018 3:00 p.m. PT 6:00 p.m. ET Nintendo.com/nintendo-direct weirdmageddon: weirdmageddon: it-started-to-rain: nintendo: Tune in 9/6 at 3pm PT for a new Nintendo Direct featuring around 35 minutes of information on upcoming Nintendo 3DS and Nintendo Switch titles. https://www.nintendo.com/nintendo-direct nintendo has delayed the direct internationally due to the magnitude 6.7 earthquake that hit hokkaido today just following the category 5 typhoon jebi that knocked the letter N off their hq building in kyoto about 2 days ago even though the direct is pre-recorded, it wouldve been terribly disrespectful for nintendo to have hyped up video games while people are dying and struggling so it’s been pushed back to a date yet to be announced but soon. i’m glad nintendos international subsidiaries are following along in the postponement announcement even if their countries didnt experience any disaster that would warrant a delay. it’s very considerate for the consumers in japan who are dealing with much more pressing matters who wouldnt have been able to catch the direct with the rest of the world. ive already seen people in america getting mad about the delay on twitter? like………nintendo is being very respectful by making the livelihoods of people a priority over their 35 minute showcase of video games. and its not that hard to see why. im sad but im much, much more sad that such disasters had to happen in the first place and hurt so many civilians and they have my deepest condolences. living in the US, im not sure how to help but if anyone knows or has ideas just add them anyway just understand this is why theres no direct later today
America, Nintendo, and Soon...: -1
 1
 Nintendo D
 irect
 9.6.2018
 3:00 p.m. PT 6:00 p.m. ET
 Nintendo.com/nintendo-direct
weirdmageddon:

weirdmageddon:

it-started-to-rain:

nintendo:

Tune in 9/6 at 3pm PT for a new Nintendo Direct featuring around 35 minutes of information on upcoming Nintendo 3DS and Nintendo Switch titles.


https://www.nintendo.com/nintendo-direct 



nintendo has delayed the direct internationally due to the magnitude 6.7 earthquake that hit hokkaido today just following the category 5 typhoon jebi that knocked the letter N off their hq building in kyoto about 2 days ago
even though the direct is pre-recorded, it wouldve been terribly disrespectful for nintendo to have hyped up video games while people are dying and struggling so it’s been pushed back to a date yet to be announced but soon. i’m glad nintendos international subsidiaries are following along in the postponement announcement even if their countries didnt experience any disaster that would warrant a delay. it’s very considerate for the consumers in japan who are dealing with much more pressing matters who wouldnt have been able to catch the direct with the rest of the world.
ive already seen people in america getting mad about the delay on twitter? like………nintendo is being very respectful by making the livelihoods of people a priority over their 35 minute showcase of video games. and its not that hard to see why. im sad but im much, much more sad that such disasters had to happen in the first place and hurt so many civilians and they have my deepest condolences. living in the US, im not sure how to help but if anyone knows or has ideas just add them
anyway just understand this is why theres no direct later today

weirdmageddon: weirdmageddon: it-started-to-rain: nintendo: Tune in 9/6 at 3pm PT for a new Nintendo Direct featuring around 35 minutes ...

9gag, Alive, and Being Alone: hou 300kcal 41,200 kcal TOmin +1200kcal RGER KIN 9GAG.COM Forever Alone with 9GAG.COM skeletonmug: duckbunny: kate-wisehart: drtanner-sfw: rikakuuma: vulnerate: the-exercist: dreamofunconsciousness: the-exercist: my-way-to-get-skinny: Still hungry? Absolutely! The average active adult needs 2,000 calories per day in order to function in a safe and healthy manner. If I’m active to the point where I consistently run 1+ hour every day, then it is far more likely that my caloric needs are around 2,400-2,500. Considering that, a meal of 1,200 calories would perfectly suit my needs. It would supply roughly half of my calorie requirements, which is a God-send since a fast food meal is relatively cheap. It’s a great value, especially if I don’t have much time to cook or have the resources to prepare my own meals! The average burger is going to supply me with significant protein and carbs. That’s exactly what I’d need in order to build more muscle and have enough energy to make it through a workout. Even the sugar within the meal can be beneficial in supplying me with a boost of energy and can stop me from feeling hungry for a prolonged period of time. Not half bad. Is this the most healthy meal known to man? Of course not. But it’s still a very reasonable deal and the calorie count is well within the average adult’s daily needs.  Don’t let calories scare you! You need them. If you were capable of burning off an entire meal within the hour, you’d probably be dead by now. 1200 empty calories in a meal next to no nutrition. all the calories are sugar and fat. that’s it. you’ll have no energy and have glucose spikes in your blood because the lack of fiber because of the lack of complex carbs. this is diabetes in a meal.  so no, you should not be hungry for diabetes Nutritionally, this BK meal contains roughly 28g of protein and 3g of dietary fiber. It potentially also includes 35% of our Vitamin C daily requirements, 2% Vitamin A, 12% calcium, and 27% iron. Of the 1,010 calories (that I could verify directly from the company’s nutritional information guide), only 410 are from fat. That isn’t a terribly significant amount of fat, in the long run, nor are the nutrients small enough to be viewed as negligible. Eating this will not cause you to get diabetes. Eating this meal is perfectly fine if you do have diabetes, as long as you are able to adjust your insulin intake accordingly. So don’t use an illness as your debate point - Diabetic people are not a prop. “So don’t use an illness as your debate point - Diabetic people are not a prop.” I want that and variations of that on t shirts. damn, man. Someone just got completely schooled by a nutritionist. THIS A GOOD POST I’ve reblogged this again but I feel like it needs to be SAID again. Also someone needs to please come drive me to burger king and buy me a burger. Pretty please? I am diabetic, and the only thing that would give me pause is the drink. If that’s a diet soda, then it’s all fine. I mean sure, white bread isn’t the best possible thing, but it is the kind I mostly eat, and fried potatoes are basically OK because they’re starch, not simple sugar. Fries and a burger are better for me and more predictable than fruit. Fruit is a wild gamble. This meal - assuming diet soda - is one I can dose for. (I am diabetic because autoimmune conditions run in my family, and my pancreas has been randomly targeted for death by my immune system. Diet didn’t cause it and couldn’t have prevented it. Do not tell me I’m sick because I eat wrong. I’m alive because I eat.) We also need to ditch the idea that there is any such thing as food that is just “empty calories”. Presumably what people mean by that is that the only nutritional value something gives you is it’s calorific content.  The only foods that do that are things that are literally pure sugar. If you are eating pure sugar then yes you are only getting calories in the form of short chain carbohydrates/sugars that are broken down into glucose quickly. But for some people and in some instances that’s not a bad thing.  “empty calories” aren’t morally or even nutritionally bad. Sometimes that’s what our body needs -  a quick injection of glucose and calories for energy. Honestly I would rather glug a glucose drink like lucozade than a high caffeine “energy drink” when I am tired and need a boost any day of the week. But when people apply the “empty calories” thing to actual foods that aren’t pure sugar it is just inaccurate and frustrating. I mean, let’s take a step up from pure sugar and mix it with a fat in order to make buttercream frosting. If you at a spoon full of that it wouldn’t be “empty calories”. Sure it is a high sugar content so you are getting a high number of calories per spoonful and they are short chain carbohydrates so it’s not lasting energy but it’s still vital energy. But you are also ingesting fat. Fat isn’t bad for you, we need fats in our diet. It’s not a “empty calorie” it’s a vital part of how our body works. OK let’s look at something more sensible, a burger bun. Just he bun mind you, not even a complete meal like a full on burger. Even white bread contains a lot of nutrients which are useful to your body. You are going to be getting a mixture of carbohydrates both short and long so your body will have ongoing energy. Even white flour contains some proteins and trace minerals such as iron. There’s small amounts of fat, and salt in there too. Certainly not an “empty calorie” - quite a lo of useful stuff for your body. But please for the love of fluffy kittens stop thinking that “calories” are discrete magical food particles which are in some way separate from the things which actually make up our food. Food is pretty complex and our bodies even more so. We need calories, we also make use of a lot of different things that are found in all sorts of food.  Remember that a calorie is a unit of measurement to show how much energy something produces. Calorie content is calculated literally by burning food. A calorie isn’t a nutrient in the same way as carbohydrates, proteins, amino acids, fats and minerals are. A food item isn’t made up of calories. It is made up of molecules of carbs, fats proteins and so on. It is the burning of those that gives us calorie content. If something has calories then it HAS to have other nutritional content in order to physically exist even if that content is just short chain carbohydrates.  Unless somebody is only eating pure sugar they aren’t eating “empty calories”. 
9gag, Alive, and Being Alone: hou
 300kcal
 41,200 kcal
 TOmin
 +1200kcal
 RGER
 KIN
 9GAG.COM
 Forever Alone with 9GAG.COM
skeletonmug:
duckbunny:

kate-wisehart:

drtanner-sfw:

rikakuuma:

vulnerate:

the-exercist:

dreamofunconsciousness:

the-exercist:

my-way-to-get-skinny:

Still hungry?

Absolutely!
The average active adult needs 2,000 calories per day in order to function in a safe and healthy manner. If I’m active to the point where I consistently run 1+ hour every day, then it is far more likely that my caloric needs are around 2,400-2,500.
Considering that, a meal of 1,200 calories would perfectly suit my needs. It would supply roughly half of my calorie requirements, which is a God-send since a fast food meal is relatively cheap. It’s a great value, especially if I don’t have much time to cook or have the resources to prepare my own meals!
The average burger is going to supply me with significant protein and carbs. That’s exactly what I’d need in order to build more muscle and have enough energy to make it through a workout. Even the sugar within the meal can be beneficial in supplying me with a boost of energy and can stop me from feeling hungry for a prolonged period of time. Not half bad.
Is this the most healthy meal known to man? Of course not. But it’s still a very reasonable deal and the calorie count is well within the average adult’s daily needs. 
Don’t let calories scare you! You need them. If you were capable of burning off an entire meal within the hour, you’d probably be dead by now.

1200 empty calories in a meal
next to no nutrition. all the calories are sugar and fat. that’s it. you’ll have no energy and have glucose spikes in your blood because the lack of fiber because of the lack of complex carbs. this is diabetes in a meal. 
so no, you should not be hungry for diabetes

Nutritionally, this BK meal contains roughly 28g of protein and 3g of dietary fiber. It potentially also includes 35% of our Vitamin C daily requirements, 2% Vitamin A, 12% calcium, and 27% iron. Of the 1,010 calories (that I could verify directly from the company’s nutritional information guide), only 410 are from fat. That isn’t a terribly significant amount of fat, in the long run, nor are the nutrients small enough to be viewed as negligible.
Eating this will not cause you to get diabetes. Eating this meal is perfectly fine if you do have diabetes, as long as you are able to adjust your insulin intake accordingly. So don’t use an illness as your debate point - Diabetic people are not a prop.

“So don’t use an illness as your debate point - Diabetic people are not a prop.” I want that and variations of that on t shirts.

damn, man. Someone just got completely schooled by a nutritionist.

THIS A GOOD POST


I’ve reblogged this again but I feel like it needs to be SAID again. Also someone needs to please come drive me to burger king and buy me a burger. Pretty please?


I am diabetic, and the only thing that would give me pause is the drink. If that’s a diet soda, then it’s all fine. I mean sure, white bread isn’t the best possible thing, but it is the kind I mostly eat, and fried potatoes are basically OK because they’re starch, not simple sugar.
Fries and a burger are better for me and more predictable than fruit. Fruit is a wild gamble. This meal - assuming diet soda - is one I can dose for.
(I am diabetic because autoimmune conditions run in my family, and my pancreas has been randomly targeted for death by my immune system. Diet didn’t cause it and couldn’t have prevented it. Do not tell me I’m sick because I eat wrong. I’m alive because I eat.)

We also need to ditch the idea that there is any such thing as food that is just “empty calories”. Presumably what people mean by that is that the only nutritional value something gives you is it’s calorific content. 
The only foods that do that are things that are literally pure sugar. If you are eating pure sugar then yes you are only getting calories in the form of short chain carbohydrates/sugars that are broken down into glucose quickly. But for some people and in some instances that’s not a bad thing. 
“empty calories” aren’t morally or even nutritionally bad. Sometimes that’s what our body needs -  a quick injection of glucose and calories for energy. Honestly I would rather glug a glucose drink like lucozade than a high caffeine “energy drink” when I am tired and need a boost any day of the week.
But when people apply the “empty calories” thing to actual foods that aren’t pure sugar it is just inaccurate and frustrating. I mean, let’s take a step up from pure sugar and mix it with a fat in order to make buttercream frosting. If you at a spoon full of that it wouldn’t be “empty calories”. Sure it is a high sugar content so you are getting a high number of calories per spoonful and they are short chain carbohydrates so it’s not lasting energy but it’s still vital energy. But you are also ingesting fat. Fat isn’t bad for you, we need fats in our diet. It’s not a “empty calorie” it’s a vital part of how our body works.
OK let’s look at something more sensible, a burger bun. Just he bun mind you, not even a complete meal like a full on burger. Even white bread contains a lot of nutrients which are useful to your body. You are going to be getting a mixture of carbohydrates both short and long so your body will have ongoing energy. Even white flour contains some proteins and trace minerals such as iron. There’s small amounts of fat, and salt in there too. Certainly not an “empty calorie” - quite a lo of useful stuff for your body.
But please for the love of fluffy kittens stop thinking that “calories” are discrete magical food particles which are in some way separate from the things which actually make up our food. Food is pretty complex and our bodies even more so. We need calories, we also make use of a lot of different things that are found in all sorts of food. 
Remember that a calorie is a unit of measurement to show how much energy something produces. Calorie content is calculated literally by burning food. A calorie isn’t a nutrient in the same way as carbohydrates, proteins, amino acids, fats and minerals are. A food item isn’t made up of calories. It is made up of molecules of carbs, fats proteins and so on. It is the burning of those that gives us calorie content. If something has calories then it HAS to have other nutritional content in order to physically exist even if that content is just short chain carbohydrates. 
Unless somebody is only eating pure sugar they aren’t eating “empty calories”. 

skeletonmug: duckbunny: kate-wisehart: drtanner-sfw: rikakuuma: vulnerate: the-exercist: dreamofunconsciousness: the-exercist: my-wa...

Beautiful, Books, and Children: Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot has appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!" All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose d until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find on him, he would stand there, getting soake One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time l got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling I must be hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for. Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be Ugly you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:Everyone Was Warned Not To Touch Him
Beautiful, Books, and Children: Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew
 who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat.
 Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating
 garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of
 these things combined with a life spent outside had
 their effect on Ugly
 To start with, he had only one eye, and where the
 other should have been was a gaping hole. He was
 also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot
 has appeared to have been badly broken at one
 time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making
 him look like he was always turning the corner. His
 tail has long since been lost, leaving only the
 smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and
 twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby
 striped-type, except for the sores covering his head,
 neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs.
 Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same
 reaction. "That's one UGLY cat!!"
 All the children were warned not to touch him, the
 adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted
 him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut
 his paws in the door when he would not leave
 Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the
 hose d
 until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at
 him, he would curl his lanky body around feet in
 forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would
 come running meowing frantically and bump his
 head against their hands, begging for their love. If
 you ever picked him up he would immediately begin
 suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could
 find
 on him, he would stand there, getting soake
 One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbors
 huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was
 badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his
 screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time l
 got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's
 sad life was almost at an end
 Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back
 twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the
 white strip of fur that ran down his front. As I picked
 him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him
 wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling
 I must be hurting him terribly I thought.
 Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on
 my ear Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and
 obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled
 him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my
 hand with his head, then he turned his one golden
 eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound
 of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly
 battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little
 affection, perhaps some compassion
 At that moment I thought Ugly was the most
 beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never
 once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to
 get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just
 looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve
 his pain
 Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I
 sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking
 about how one scarred, deformed little stray could
 so alter my opinion about what it means to have
 true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly
 Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion
 than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show
 specials ever could, and for that I will always be
 thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but I
 was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to
 move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give
 my total to those I cared for.
 Many people want to be richer, more successful,
 well liked, beautiful, but for me, I will always try to
 be Ugly
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
srsfunny:Everyone Was Warned Not To Touch Him

srsfunny:Everyone Was Warned Not To Touch Him

Apple, Beard, and Beautiful: 62,681 do all Americans have pet eagles? Yes I remember my first eagle ceremony when I turned nine. The first eagle you get is always declawed, which I always thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a good way to ease into caring for the birds. My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasnt a terribly clever child) was already quite old when I received him (he was a rescue eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I was 16. I don't know if I was more excited about getting my drivers license that year or my new eagle! You should have seen the party we had when I got him, too! Grilled hot dogs and fire works and lemonade... obviously I named my beautiful new eagle Freedom. He's too big to keep inside anymore, unfortunatey but we've got a pretty comfortable roost for him on our apartment's balcony Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I remember his quite well. (They had just come out with telepathic link transplants when I got him, which is how I know he remembers it.) Our celebration was quite modest, compared to Freedom's-apple pie under a cloudless summer sky as we signed our Declaration of Interdependence. I still have the inked and talon-plerced document hanging on my wall. what is this Get out Canada I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my sisters' eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get home from class since schools are getting so over protective and strict these days and won't allow eagles indoors. Which just goes to show how much we're bubble wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn't handle a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid's eagle you had to just man up and learn your lesson! Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I couldn't use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes weren't the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was worried an eagle wouldn't show up at all. I had to stand in the middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was apologizing for being late. And we've been together ever since. Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles. But what can I say, I'm a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, "You must be a terrorist to call me out over my excesses," but I digress. We don't have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my flag atop a decommissioned WWll aircraft carrier. I was kicking a couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later and got young Colbert here. It's hard work, raising two eagles, but I have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light. Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so l was totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn't just going to net me my eagle and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and the problem here- it's not usually a problem because I make sure to shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays- was that I am, actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn't just one eagle that showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri, all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp America's natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my ulna. Completely missed my little brother's eagle ceremony, which I wil always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me an eagle in my heart. you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny: Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?
Apple, Beard, and Beautiful: 62,681
 do all Americans have pet eagles?
 Yes
 I remember my first eagle ceremony
 when I turned nine. The first eagle you get
 is always declawed, which I always
 thought was pretty inhumane, but it was a
 good way to ease into caring for the birds.
 My eagle (named Baldy, because I wasnt
 a terribly clever child) was already quite
 old when I received him (he was a rescue
 eagle, luckily) but I did have him until I
 was 16. I don't know if I was more excited
 about getting my drivers license that year
 or my new eagle! You should have seen
 the party we had when I got him, too!
 Grilled hot dogs and fire works and
 lemonade... obviously I named my
 beautiful new eagle Freedom. He's too
 big to keep inside anymore, unfortunatey
 but we've got a pretty comfortable roost
 for him on our apartment's balcony
 Ah, yes, the eagle ceremony! My Justice and I
 remember his quite well. (They had just come
 out with telepathic link transplants when I got
 him, which is how I know he remembers it.)
 Our celebration was quite modest, compared
 to Freedom's-apple pie under a cloudless
 summer sky as we signed our Declaration of
 Interdependence. I still have the inked and
 talon-plerced document hanging on my wall.
 what is this
 Get out Canada
 I was so scared during my pet eagle ceremony I almost
 threw up. But Stonewall Jackson and I have been best
 friends ever since. My dad and grandfather built a really
 massive roost behind the house for my eagle and my
 sisters' eagles. Stonewall always waits for me when I get
 home from class since schools are getting so over
 protective and strict these days and won't allow eagles
 indoors. Which just goes to show how much we're bubble
 wrapping kids today. Back in the day, if you couldn't handle
 a few stitches because you pissed off the wrong kid's eagle
 you had to just man up and learn your lesson!
 Ooo, I never miss a chance to tell this story! I had a rather
 unusual first eagle ceremony. The traditional giant American flag
 that you wave around to summon your eagle had been severely
 damaged the week prior (a ceremony that had not gone
 according to plan, but the child only suffered minor talon
 wounds. The flag took the brunt of the attack). Anyway, I
 couldn't use the normal flag so we had to search ALL OVER for
 one suitable for eagle summoning. Unfortunately the stripes
 weren't the correct shade of patriotic red so everyone was
 worried an eagle wouldn't show up at all. I had to stand in the
 middle of that wheat field, the wind creating amber waves out of
 it, shaking that flag in the air for over three hours. Everyone was
 just about to give up when suddenly Patriot appeared out of
 nowhere! He came to me so quickly it was like he was
 apologizing for being late. And we've been together ever since.
 Some people think it's excessive to have two eagles. But what can I
 say, I'm a two eagles kind of guy. Well, I can say, "You must be a
 terrorist to call me out over my excesses," but I digress. We don't
 have many open fields around here, so I got Liberty by waving my
 flag atop a decommissioned WWll aircraft carrier. I was kicking a
 couple of boxes of tea into the harbor for good measure, and there
 she was. I loved her so much I repeated the process a year later
 and got young Colbert here. It's hard work, raising two eagles, but I
 have two shoulders, after all. Besides, I know that the secret to
 happy and healthy eagles is plenty of Bud Light.
 Oh man, the eagle ceremony. I was a weird fucking kid, okay, so l was
 totally sure that the eagle ceremony wasn't just going to net me my eagle
 and deepen the mystical bond between a citizen and their country, I
 thought I was going to get to turn into an eagle too. So me and my mom
 and my dad and my little brother are all standing in the old civil war
 battleground, surrounded by the ghosts of our fallen soldiers, and all and
 the problem here- it's not usually a problem because I make sure to
 shave my beard off twice a day, three times on sundays- was that I am,
 actually, born on the fourth of July. So it wasn't just one eagle that
 showed up, it was pretty much every big old patriotic warbird in Missouri,
 all flapping around confused and pissed off, their innate senses of
 direction completely fucked up by the way firecracker babies warp
 America's natural system of ley lines. And I was six, so grabbed the flag
 and ran with it over my shoulders, rippling in the wind, thinking it was
 going to turn into wings for me and I would go be an eagle with all the
 other eagles. Instead I just got mobbed by a freaked-out mess of
 nationalistic avians who all weighed more than I did. I lost half my nose
 and my whole left arm and spent most of fourth grade in reconstructive
 surgery getting machine guns welded on to the shattered remains of my
 ulna. Completely missed my little brother's eagle ceremony, which I wil
 always regret, but it was all worth it to have met Columbia. I never did turn
 into an eagle on the outside, but I like to think those long hours in the
 hospital, feeding her rubbing alcohol and my own blood, have made me
 an eagle in my heart.
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
srsfunny:

Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?

srsfunny: Do All Americans Really Have Pet Eagles?

Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise. What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!! I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed: Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?” I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since. New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:  She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days. And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention. ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
Best Friend, Chill, and Confused: fire-is-her-water:
abracataako:

merak-zoran:

fire-is-her-water:


My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.

When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.




What kind of dog is Ezri? I love her!!

I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night: 
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe

fire-is-her-water: abracataako: merak-zoran: fire-is-her-water: My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks. When I got her, she’...