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Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]

texture: fakehistory:Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]
texture: fakehistory:Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]

fakehistory:Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]

texture: Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]
texture: Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]

Roblox releases full HD texture pack [7.9.2018]

texture: deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. @deadcatwithaflamethrower My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic* *reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
texture: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*

deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirl...

texture: if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild pumpkinvictor brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery tummy. it'll jiggle. me: no??? that's mean??? brain: polar bear, then pumpkinvictor brain: the lons just got fed raw meat brain: steal it and eat it in front of them me:.. pumpkinvictor ttle-king-smashmouth AS A ZOOKEEPERI CAN CONFIRM THIS IS 100% A REAL STRUGGLE rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i could have received I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think the cronch will be, brain. sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of the first human to eat something really weird and then you see this post and stop wondering harinezumiko This 100% was me at the zoo. Don't touch Melon, he's mean. Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he likes it? Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won't get off the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the good side will be fine. Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for feeding them. This is fine, because they don't have antlers. The male deer is locked up while we're putting out food because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby asymmetrical homs, because he thinks the females are doing it. The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach through holes they ve made in the tarp on the gate to their enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don't give him fruit loops. He is a jerk) The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she's on a couch because she did that when she was living in a crack house? Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor and try to offer treats for pets. Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac's enclosure no matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes, Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a sign of dominance even though she's a housecat and he could eat her in approximately one bite. The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you forever because he is a grumpy old man. All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don't know you and they äre very distressed that you're täking their poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is insane and will not leam. Do not pet the guinea pig. this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it! thank you as biologist, can confirm brain: that frog is very small me: well spotted, brain brain: put smol frog in mouth me: no! brain: that lynx.. .Jooks so fluffy me: it does brain: we should pet it. me: it's awake and angry so no. brain: baaaaby bunny. me: yup brain: baby bunny goes in pocket me: nooo it doesn't. Ah-I read the one about the sea star crunch and I immediately thought of if I ate one, what goo would come out. Would it be like a mozzarella stick? The texture seems to fit right. What if someone served someone a sea star instead of a mozzarella stick in the shape of a sea star? Would they eat t? Would IilI eat it? What if I knew it was a sea star? Would I STILL eat i? I kinda just want mozzarella sticks but now they could all be sea star limbs so I have to be careful... Source: snowquee.. Wanimal Bintrusive thoughts 8200 98,700 notes Intrusive Thoughts
texture: if i were a zookeeper my intrusive thoughts would be wild
 pumpkinvictor
 brain: slap that penguin. right across his little blubbery
 tummy. it'll jiggle.
 me: no??? that's mean???
 brain: polar bear, then
 pumpkinvictor
 brain: the lons just got fed raw meat
 brain: steal it and eat it in front of them
 me:..
 pumpkinvictor
 ttle-king-smashmouth
 AS A ZOOKEEPERI CAN
 CONFIRM THIS IS 100% A REAL
 STRUGGLE
 rowan i want you to know that this is the best possible reply i
 could have received
 I work with animals and this is true for me. No, I cannot eat
 sea stars out the touch tank no matter HOW good you think
 the cronch will be, brain.
 sometimes you wonder what was going through the head of
 the first human to eat something really weird and then you
 see this post and stop wondering
 harinezumiko
 This 100% was me at the zoo. Don't touch Melon, he's mean.
 Okay, but I have to touch Bob to make him get his stupid emu
 head out of my shirt, so what if I also touch Melon until he
 likes it?
 Sephiroth is angery because he has one wing and sometimes
 attacks people? I want to pet him also. Also he won't get off
 the rock I have to clean anyway, surely a little pets on the
 good side will be fine.
 Martha and Stewart are assholes that tag-team while the
 pond is filling? I bet I could CUDDLE THEM
 The female deer will excitedly nuzzle you in the stomach for
 feeding them. This is fine, because they don't have antlers.
 The male deer is locked up while we're putting out food
 because he will gouge you to death with his little nubby
 asymmetrical homs, because he thinks the females are doing
 it.
 The entire monkey enclosure will eat your fingers for a single
 fruit loop. They also have the smallest arms and can reach
 through holes they ve made in the tarp on the gate to their
 enclosure. Do not hold hands with the monkeys. (2nd gen old
 man monkey will also pee on the keepers that don't give him
 fruit loops. He is a jerk)
 The rehabilitated bear that still sits like she's on a couch
 because she did that when she was living in a crack house?
 Yes, she looks chill. Yes, she looks The Softest. No, do not
 pet her back through the fence. No, do not go into the corridor
 and try to offer treats for pets.
 Big Mac does not know he will break your ribs, but YOU know
 he will break your ribs. Do not enter Big Mac's enclosure no
 matter how much he chuffs and displays his belly and rubs on
 the cage and looks sad. Yes, he genuinely wants pets. Yes,
 Pinkie is deliberately getting pets where he can see it as a
 sign of dominance even though she's a housecat and he
 could eat her in approximately one bite.
 The turtle is mean. Period. He is an old man and he does not
 like you. He does not like the parrot getting fries and he does
 not like that he is in a kiddie pool to warm up because his
 enclosure lost power, and he does not like you behind him
 preparing food for the owls and raptors. Petting him will not
 help this. He will rock back and forth and mean mug you
 forever because he is a
 grumpy old man.
 All of the rabbits need more handling on principle. They don't
 know you and they äre very distressed that you're täking their
 poop away. They can learn, a little, kind of. The guinea pig is
 insane and will not leam. Do not pet the guinea pig.
 this post is gathering some highly blessed zoo stories i love it!
 thank you
 as biologist, can confirm
 brain: that frog is very small
 me: well spotted, brain
 brain: put smol frog in mouth
 me: no!
 brain: that lynx.. .Jooks so fluffy
 me: it does
 brain: we should pet it.
 me: it's awake and
 angry so no.
 brain: baaaaby bunny.
 me: yup
 brain: baby bunny goes in pocket
 me: nooo it doesn't.
 Ah-I read the one about the sea star crunch and I
 immediately thought of if I ate one, what goo would come out.
 Would it be like a mozzarella stick? The texture seems to fit
 right. What if someone served someone a sea star instead of
 a mozzarella stick in the shape of a sea star? Would they eat
 t? Would IilI eat it? What if I knew it was a sea star? Would I
 STILL eat i? I kinda just want mozzarella sticks but now they
 could all be sea star limbs so I have to be careful...
 Source: snowquee..
 Wanimal Bintrusive thoughts 8200
 98,700 notes
Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive Thoughts

texture: rmh8402: pegasusdragontiger: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. YESSSSSSS!  Love it!!
texture: rmh8402:

pegasusdragontiger:


kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.

YESSSSSSS! 


Love it!!

rmh8402: pegasusdragontiger: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlon...

texture: PSA: Post op? Wash your damn vagina. (self.MtF) submitted 11 hours ago by Ohgodimgross For the love of god this story is disgusting, but if you've had or are having the operation, then I'd suggest this advice Had the op about 5 years ago. So I sort of fell into a slop. I don't really get much action, so I don't really dilate, or end up with anything inside very often at all. At the time I was told to dilate, and douche. I didn't like the douching, and I heard multiple different things from others. "I just dilate then use a pad til the morning" "I just wipe off with tissue and let my body deal with the rest". For me, I just didn't wash inside me, because I didn't dilate, so nothing could really get gross in there, I thought. It turns out I'm wrong. I was having sex this evening, and at one point, I stopped because I felt something weird. So I put my fingers in there and the back of my vagina had a rough, not very nice texture. So I kind of scraped around a bit with my finger and I had a bit of orange stuff come out. Not much, and I'd had yellow stuff before. So I supposed it was smegma The texture remained so I kept using my fingers to work around More and more orange stuff. And finally I took out a weird chunk. A huge chunk. It was a cluster of pubic hair, and orange smegma. And more, and more. Like so much more just kept falling out. So I suppose over the last couple of years, while I've not been dilating, my vagina's slowly let all sorts of hair just slowly work its way up towards the top. And since it doesn't clean itself out, it just accumulates a bunch of dead, gross orange buildup around the hair. PSA: Dilate and douche. I'm never leaving it to get like this ever again cisdude: lanque-hates-terfs: mtfselfdrag: just like an ordinary vagina you guys!! lesbians, do your duty and eat out a trans woman’s neovagina today 🤢 Everyone needs to clean their vaginas, you asshole. Just as you need to clean every other area of your body. No, it isn’t anyone’s duty to eat ANYBODY out, doing sexual acts such as that is a choice for the partners performing it. The woman in this Reddit post made a bad mistake, but she learned a lesson and is advising others to not make the same mistake that she did. please for the love of god dont clean your vagina (the vaginal canal, the inside, in case you dont know what vagina means), it is self cleaning, washing or douching your vagina ruins the pH and vaginal flora, putting you at risk for yeast infections. the only thing you need to do is wash your vulva (the outside) with an appropriate product. neovaginas, though, NEED to be washed and douched, or else you get something like the reddit op described.
texture: PSA: Post op? Wash your damn vagina. (self.MtF)
 submitted 11 hours ago by Ohgodimgross
 For the love of god this story is disgusting, but if you've had or are
 having the operation, then I'd suggest this advice
 Had the op about 5 years ago. So I sort of fell into a slop. I don't
 really get much action, so I don't really dilate, or end up with
 anything inside very often at all.
 At the time I was told to dilate, and douche. I didn't like the
 douching, and I heard multiple different things from others. "I just
 dilate then use a pad til the morning" "I just wipe off with tissue and
 let my body deal with the rest". For me, I just didn't wash inside
 me, because I didn't dilate, so nothing could really get gross in
 there, I thought.
 It turns out I'm wrong. I was having sex this evening, and at one
 point, I stopped because I felt something weird. So I put my fingers
 in there and the back of my vagina had a rough, not very nice
 texture. So I kind of scraped around a bit with my finger and I had a
 bit of orange stuff come out. Not much, and I'd had yellow stuff
 before. So I supposed it was smegma
 The texture remained so I kept using my fingers to work around
 More and more orange stuff. And finally I took out a weird chunk. A
 huge chunk. It was a cluster of pubic hair, and orange smegma. And
 more, and more. Like so much more just kept falling out.
 So I suppose over the last couple of years, while I've not been
 dilating, my vagina's slowly let all sorts of hair just slowly work its
 way up towards the top. And since it doesn't clean itself out, it just
 accumulates a bunch of dead, gross orange buildup around the hair.
 PSA: Dilate and douche. I'm never leaving it to get like this ever
 again
cisdude:
lanque-hates-terfs:


mtfselfdrag:

just like an ordinary vagina you guys!! lesbians, do your duty and eat out a trans woman’s neovagina today 🤢

Everyone needs to clean their vaginas, you asshole. Just as you need to clean every other area of your body. No, it isn’t anyone’s duty to eat ANYBODY out, doing sexual acts such as that is a choice for the partners performing it.

The woman in this Reddit post made a bad mistake, but she learned a lesson and is advising others to not make the same mistake that she did.


please for the love of god dont clean your vagina (the vaginal canal, the inside, in case you dont know what vagina means), it is self cleaning, washing or douching your vagina ruins the pH and vaginal flora, putting you at risk for yeast infections. the only thing you need to do is wash your vulva (the outside) with an appropriate product.
neovaginas, though, NEED to be washed and douched, or else you get something like the reddit op described.

cisdude: lanque-hates-terfs: mtfselfdrag: just like an ordinary vagina you guys!! lesbians, do your duty and eat out a trans woman’s n...

texture: Excellent Radiant source f Farms Sparkles UNICORN MEAT odut of Ireland Bi NET WT 5.5 0 (156) Top customer reviews George Takei ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam July 9, 2013 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah, the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it. Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward) Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is. I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger. Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/172666301953/canned-unicorn-meat" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/canned-unicorn-meat/"> Canned Unicorn Meat</a></b><br/><br/></p></blockquote>
texture: Excellent
 Radiant source f
 Farms Sparkles
 UNICORN
 MEAT
 odut
 of Ireland
 Bi
 NET WT
 5.5 0 (156)

 Top customer reviews
 George Takei
 ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam
 July 9, 2013
 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi
 rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah,
 the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.
 Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the
 rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets
 awkward)
 Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills
 California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat
 (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.
 I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
 Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes
 No Report abuse
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/172666301953/canned-unicorn-meat" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/canned-unicorn-meat/">

Canned Unicorn Meat</a></b><br/><br/></p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/172666301953/canned-unicorn-meat" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><...

texture: Excellent Radiant source f Farms Sparkles UNICORN MEAT odut of Ireland Bi NET WT 5.5 0 (156) Top customer reviews George Takei ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam July 9, 2013 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah, the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it. Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward) Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is. I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger. Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse novelty-gift-ideas: Canned Unicorn Meat
texture: Excellent
 Radiant source f
 Farms Sparkles
 UNICORN
 MEAT
 odut
 of Ireland
 Bi
 NET WT
 5.5 0 (156)

 Top customer reviews
 George Takei
 ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam
 July 9, 2013
 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi
 rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah,
 the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.
 Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the
 rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets
 awkward)
 Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills
 California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat
 (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.
 I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
 Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes
 No Report abuse
novelty-gift-ideas:

Canned Unicorn Meat

novelty-gift-ideas: Canned Unicorn Meat

texture: 1. Redness 2. Breast swelling 3. Pain or itchiness the breast or enlargement of the breast Breast cancer ymph nodes 4. Thickening of the skin 5. Swelling of the lymph on the breast and ridged or dimpled skin texture (peau d'orange) nodes in your armpit or above/below the collarbone Share This might save someone's life. trinsghost: boy-aesthetics: yomeiko: lgbtqkidsrock: ayamccabre: dayzies-s: tan-fit-healthy: letsdeadlyfart: bluedreamsx: slaveoftheflesh: xsorrowxlightx: trumpetnista: rarely-pure-never-simple: thecornercoffeeshoppe: hickshannary: small-and-misunderstood: Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk.  My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2 My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits.  Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life. This could SAVE a life. dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around! listen to ur boobs its all in the boobs hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry Always reblog!  REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!! B Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out. All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it. My breasts itch all the time…should I start being concerned?? Maybe look up some big about it online, or ask your doctor some questions if you get the chance. If your something with your boobs suddenly changes, and it’s not what you’d consider a good change, get it checked out.  And whether it hurts or it doesn’t, still, get it checked out.  If it turns out to not be cancer, at least you checked and can have peace of mind that you did.   (Been there, done that, had surgery and thank goodness it was not cancer but was a tumor that made me feel like I was being punched in the boob for months.)
texture: 1. Redness
 2. Breast swelling 3. Pain or itchiness
 the breast
 or enlargement
 of the breast
 Breast cancer
 ymph
 nodes
 4. Thickening of the skin
 5. Swelling of the lymph
 on the breast and
 ridged or dimpled
 skin texture
 (peau d'orange)
 nodes in your armpit or
 above/below the collarbone
 Share This might
 save someone's life.
trinsghost:
boy-aesthetics:

yomeiko:


lgbtqkidsrock:

ayamccabre:

dayzies-s:

tan-fit-healthy:

letsdeadlyfart:

bluedreamsx:

slaveoftheflesh:

xsorrowxlightx:

trumpetnista:

rarely-pure-never-simple:

thecornercoffeeshoppe:

hickshannary:

small-and-misunderstood:

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk. 

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits. 
Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.
This could SAVE a life.
dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving

Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. 

As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!

listen to ur boobs

its all in the boobs

hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry 

Always reblog! 

REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!
B

Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out. 


All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it.


My breasts itch all the time…should I start being concerned??


Maybe look up some big about it online, or ask your doctor some questions if you get the chance.

If your something with your boobs suddenly changes, and it’s not what you’d consider a good change, get it checked out.  And whether it hurts or it doesn’t, still, get it checked out.  If it turns out to not be cancer, at least you checked and can have peace of mind that you did.  
(Been there, done that, had surgery and thank goodness it was not cancer but was a tumor that made me feel like I was being punched in the boob for months.)

trinsghost: boy-aesthetics: yomeiko: lgbtqkidsrock: ayamccabre: dayzies-s: tan-fit-healthy: letsdeadlyfart: bluedreamsx: slaveof...

texture: 1. Redness 2. Breast swelling 3. Pain or itchiness the breast or enlargement of the breast Breast cancer ymph nodes 4. Thickening of the skin 5. Swelling of the lymph on the breast and ridged or dimpled skin texture (peau d'orange) nodes in your armpit or above/below the collarbone Share This might save someone's life. lgbtqkidsrock: ayamccabre: dayzies-s: tan-fit-healthy: letsdeadlyfart: bluedreamsx: slaveoftheflesh: xsorrowxlightx: trumpetnista: rarely-pure-never-simple: thecornercoffeeshoppe: hickshannary: small-and-misunderstood: Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk.  My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2 My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits.  Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life. This could SAVE a life. dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around! listen to ur boobs its all in the boobs hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry Always reblog!  REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!! B Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out. All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it.
texture: 1. Redness
 2. Breast swelling 3. Pain or itchiness
 the breast
 or enlargement
 of the breast
 Breast cancer
 ymph
 nodes
 4. Thickening of the skin
 5. Swelling of the lymph
 on the breast and
 ridged or dimpled
 skin texture
 (peau d'orange)
 nodes in your armpit or
 above/below the collarbone
 Share This might
 save someone's life.
lgbtqkidsrock:

ayamccabre:

dayzies-s:

tan-fit-healthy:

letsdeadlyfart:

bluedreamsx:

slaveoftheflesh:

xsorrowxlightx:

trumpetnista:

rarely-pure-never-simple:

thecornercoffeeshoppe:

hickshannary:

small-and-misunderstood:

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk. 

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits. 
Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.
This could SAVE a life.
dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving

Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. 

As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!

listen to ur boobs

its all in the boobs

hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry 

Always reblog! 

REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!
B

Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out. 


All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it.

lgbtqkidsrock: ayamccabre: dayzies-s: tan-fit-healthy: letsdeadlyfart: bluedreamsx: slaveoftheflesh: xsorrowxlightx: trumpetnista...

texture: 1. Redness 2. Breast swelling 3. Pain or itchiness the breast or enlargement of the breast Breast cancer ymph nodes 4. Thickening of the skin 5. Swelling of the lymph on the breast and ridged or dimpled skin texture (peau d'orange) nodes in your armpit or above/below the collarbone Share This might save someone's life. lgbtqkidsrock: ayamccabre: dayzies-s: tan-fit-healthy: letsdeadlyfart: bluedreamsx: slaveoftheflesh: xsorrowxlightx: trumpetnista: rarely-pure-never-simple: thecornercoffeeshoppe: hickshannary: small-and-misunderstood: Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk.  My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2 My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits.  Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life. This could SAVE a life. dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around! listen to ur boobs its all in the boobs hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry Always reblog!  REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!! B Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out. All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it.
texture: 1. Redness
 2. Breast swelling 3. Pain or itchiness
 the breast
 or enlargement
 of the breast
 Breast cancer
 ymph
 nodes
 4. Thickening of the skin
 5. Swelling of the lymph
 on the breast and
 ridged or dimpled
 skin texture
 (peau d'orange)
 nodes in your armpit or
 above/below the collarbone
 Share This might
 save someone's life.
lgbtqkidsrock:

ayamccabre:

dayzies-s:

tan-fit-healthy:

letsdeadlyfart:

bluedreamsx:

slaveoftheflesh:

xsorrowxlightx:

trumpetnista:

rarely-pure-never-simple:

thecornercoffeeshoppe:

hickshannary:

small-and-misunderstood:

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk. 

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits. 
Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.
This could SAVE a life.
dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving

Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. 

As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!

listen to ur boobs

its all in the boobs

hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry 

Always reblog! 

REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!
B

Reminder that anyone who grew their own breast tissue can get breast cancer. That includes trans women, intersex peeps, and cis men who may not have been aware there could be some breast tissue in there. The only way to be sure you don’t have any at all is if you’ve had it all removed. If you’ve had tissue removed for reasons other than cancer, they likely didn’t remove all of it. If you find something weird, regardless of who you are or how you identify, get it checked out. 


All of you should reblog this. Breast cancer affects everyone and there’s not enough information about it.

lgbtqkidsrock: ayamccabre: dayzies-s: tan-fit-healthy: letsdeadlyfart: bluedreamsx: slaveoftheflesh: xsorrowxlightx: trumpetnista...

texture: <p><a href="https://jlewdaby.tumblr.com/post/166638638758/shadbase-twitter-patreon-finally-got-this" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">jlewdaby</a>:</p><blockquote> <p> <b><a href="http://www.shadbase.com/lady-in-red/" target="_blank">SHADBASE</a> | <a href="https://twitter.com/JLullabyme" target="_blank">TWITTER</a> | <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2FJLullaby&amp;t=YzU4NTRjYWNmZmZjN2M3Zjg5NDZhMzc1NzY3Mzk2YjdlOWY0YTZiNixHZ0h5cnJOMA%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3ATohKApHDIyCXJYsaQ16D2A&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fjlewdaby.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159293803093%2Fshadbase-twitter-patreon-i-am-not-up-to-par-on&amp;m=1" target="_blank">PATREON</a></b> <br/></p> <p>Finally got this one done<b>.</b> For those who don’t know, the character is called “the Lady in Red” from the game “Ib”! Shes essentially the typical painting in the wall that comes out to getcha x) loved watching people play that game when it first came out. had an awesome grunge and eerie feeling to it. it especially capture (at least for me) how some old paintings from abstract, surreal, or any medium can be quite terrifying to look at in the right atmosphere. Not gonna lie, it really is fun to turn something that is originally pixelated and simple to how you would think it would be if it were detailed or if it were “real”. Anyway, apologies for the wait on this one! I don’t want to make another bland repetitive statement with the content flow as i have last month but i really do appreciate your guys patience on the matter.</p> <p>For the frame, i was originally going to go with a straight forward generic border, but i thought it didn’t compliment the character enough so i figured i’d go for the embroidered look to emphasize “fanciness” “untouched”. i also tried to texture the frame/metal a bit more in this one than i usually do and used my sketch brush in order to create the bumps and scratches. helps make it feel relatively old imo. i was debating on whether i’d use a light gold or a fake gold, but i felt the color of fake gold makes it feel more “conniving” in my opinion. as for the background, theres not much to say other than that i chose a green palette to help emphasize the redness of her dress and character. hopefully it does x) that’s all i have to say for this one and i just hope you all like!</p> </blockquote>
texture: <p><a href="https://jlewdaby.tumblr.com/post/166638638758/shadbase-twitter-patreon-finally-got-this" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">jlewdaby</a>:</p><blockquote>
<p>

<b><a href="http://www.shadbase.com/lady-in-red/" target="_blank">SHADBASE</a> | <a href="https://twitter.com/JLullabyme" target="_blank">TWITTER</a> | <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.patreon.com%2FJLullaby&amp;t=YzU4NTRjYWNmZmZjN2M3Zjg5NDZhMzc1NzY3Mzk2YjdlOWY0YTZiNixHZ0h5cnJOMA%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3ATohKApHDIyCXJYsaQ16D2A&amp;p=https%3A%2F%2Fjlewdaby.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F159293803093%2Fshadbase-twitter-patreon-i-am-not-up-to-par-on&amp;m=1" target="_blank">PATREON</a></b> 

<br/></p>
<p>Finally got this one done<b>.</b> For those
who don’t know, the character is called “the Lady in Red” from the
game “Ib”! Shes essentially the typical painting in the wall that
comes out to getcha x) loved watching people play that game when it first came
out. had an awesome grunge and eerie feeling to it. it especially capture (at
least for me) how some old paintings from abstract, surreal, or any medium can
be quite terrifying to look at in the right atmosphere. Not gonna lie, it
really is fun to turn something that is originally pixelated and simple to how
you would think it would be if it were detailed or if it were “real”.
Anyway, apologies for the wait on this one! I don’t want to make another bland
repetitive statement with the content flow as i have last month but i really do
appreciate your guys patience on the matter.</p>
<p>For the frame, i was originally going to go
with a straight forward generic border, but i thought it didn’t compliment the
character enough so i figured i’d go for the embroidered look to emphasize
“fanciness” “untouched”. i also tried to texture the frame/metal
a bit more in this one than i usually do and used my sketch brush in order to
create the bumps and scratches. helps make it feel relatively old imo. i was
debating on whether i’d use a light gold or a fake gold, but i felt the color
of fake gold makes it feel more “conniving” in my opinion. as for the
background, theres not much to say other than that i chose a green palette to
help emphasize the redness of her dress and character. hopefully it does x)
that’s all i have to say for this one and i just hope you all like!</p>
</blockquote>

<p><a href="https://jlewdaby.tumblr.com/post/166638638758/shadbase-twitter-patreon-finally-got-this" class="tumblr_blog" target="_blank">...