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Anaconda, Ass, and Bailey Jay: 00 19:15 thewitchdoctor The Economist # L-Follow The TheEconomist Why aren't millennials buying diamonds? econ.st/294G6yf combatbooty 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us kid-communism 3) mostly mined with slave labor 4 00 . 19:15 mostly mined with slave labor everkings 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don't even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years μ „ wildhaunt 5) They aren't actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated ariaste Pro tip from a former Jared's salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They're lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like... $30-80 probably You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tel the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they'll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot 4 00 . 19:15 unless you get a fancy band with a lot ess than of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial's engagement ring everythingcanadian THANK YOU EX-JARED'S BASED GOD dxisybuchanan engagement rings: HACKED stynalane Get a ring from an antique store. They're usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably phruxx thanks edith Fuente: thewitchdoctor 581,276 notas 4 Now I'll have more money for my avocado toast.
Anaconda, Ass, and Bailey Jay: 00
 19:15
 thewitchdoctor
 The Economist
 #
 L-Follow
 The
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
 combatbooty
 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a
 fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist
 rock hierarchy has no control over us
 kid-communism
 3) mostly mined with slave labor
 4

 00
 . 19:15
 mostly mined with slave labor
 everkings
 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer,
 we don't even comprehend people buying us rocks that
 would force us into debt for ten years
 μ „ wildhaunt
 5) They aren't actually that rare and the price is
 artificially inflated
 ariaste
 Pro tip from a former Jared's salesperson: You want a
 sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the
 untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice
 dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They're lab
 grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a
 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like... $30-80 probably
 You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear,
 perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tel
 the difference except a professional appraiser. Also,
 sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after
 diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that
 they'll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver
 and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you
 less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot
 4

 00
 . 19:15
 unless you get a fancy band with a lot
 ess than
 of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in
 every color of the rainbow, so if you want something
 more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN
 Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial's
 engagement ring
 everythingcanadian
 THANK YOU EX-JARED'S BASED GOD
 dxisybuchanan
 engagement rings: HACKED
 stynalane
 Get a ring from an antique store. They're usually less
 than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one
 else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of
 being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named
 Edith probably
 phruxx
 thanks edith
 Fuente: thewitchdoctor
 581,276 notas
 4
Now I'll have more money for my avocado toast.

Now I'll have more money for my avocado toast.

Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights Always willing to make a rain Laughs at medioore jokers . I play s different instrument . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po Very optimistic when hungover Friendship bracelets Can drive a stick shift I got bars Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc. * Downsides Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse Will spook the customers with I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them) .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil Contributions Inventor Sauce Boss . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car. For a spill and worry free drive home . Part the Red Sea .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo Moses Tampons Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair mon in a floor length jean skirt Coined the term *Escobars When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax .Not recommended Education Bradford Elementary School Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee Mullen High School 2008-2012 . Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012 . Dia though Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook of Northem Colorado 2012-201 Survived Greeley Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting School blew away in Hurricane Irma School cut major Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne ver know what's going on there They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time . Laboniously diverse in that bitch . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever y day - They pretty much can't fire me thered e Intenship in Haiti 2016 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever Spent about a year total in Hait I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono Harley Davidson-St. Thomas . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p eople I'm very impressive at folding shirts Reason(s) I Dipped: I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a d I felt really guilty about ito They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co sort of Local Color Clothing Boutique More folding, but the clothes were more expensive) Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work
Bad, Bitch, and Chihuahua: Highlights
 Always willing to make a rain
 Laughs at medioore jokers
 . I play s different instrument
 . Turned my recorder into a fully functional obacco po
 Very optimistic when hungover
 Friendship bracelets
 Can drive a stick shift
 I got bars
 Iget along with overy dog rve met and at a 73% oftro people rve moc.
 *
 Downsides
 Will be late nearly every day with iterally no excuse
 Will spook the customers with
 I have ADHD, but don't worry, I buy other peoples adderall
 Allergic to mushrooms (still willing to trip them)
 .I have been the cause of 13 car accidents (that I know ofy
 . Kind of bad at doing accents, usually just comes off as disrespecttuil
 Contributions
 Inventor
 Sauce Boss
 . A safe space and secure area for your sauces in the car.
 For a spill and worry free drive home
 . Part the Red Sea
 .The thick, untamed, poofy, distressed mane usually accompanied by a Mo
 Moses Tampons
 Coined the phrase "jean skirt hair
 mon in a floor length jean skirt
 Coined the term *Escobars
 When someone snorts a mix of cocaine and Xanax
 .Not recommended
 Education
 Bradford Elementary School
 Made it to round 1 of the 6th grade spelling bee
 Mullen High School 2008-2012
 .
 Graduated 1st place in worst attendance in class of 2012
 .

 Dia
 though
 Had an impact on the student handbook because I rode a donkey to schook
 of Northem Colorado 2012-201
 Survived Greeley
 Majored in like 7 different things so I'm well rounded
 University of the Virgin Isiands 2015-2017
 Majored in Political Science and English- Creative Whiting
 School blew away in Hurricane Irma
 School cut major
 Jobs I Didnt Quit In Less Than 3 Weeks Or Get Fired From
 Colorado Saddlery 2012-Present
 I make everyone feel good about themselves in the company because I ne
 ver know what's going on there
 They don't pay me anymore but I still show up from time to time
 . Laboniously diverse in that bitch
 . I programmed their Alexa to play the world's national anthems at noon ever
 y day
 - They pretty much can't fire me thered
 e Intenship in Haiti 2016
 Partially fluent in Haitian Creole, which I speak in when dicey fools speak to
 me at the bar and I want them to leave 4ever
 Spent about a year total in Hait
 I had Zika, so don't worry, I won't be having children any time soono
 Harley Davidson-St. Thomas
 . I folded shits, talked to drunk people, then I sold said shits to said drunk p
 eople
 I'm very impressive at folding shirts
 Reason(s) I Dipped:
 I wanted to get off the islandl over Christmas
 I kept accidentally throwing piles of clothes onto the owner's chihuahua a
 d I felt really guilty about ito
 They said I quit better than any other employee they've had, that was co
 sort of
 Local Color Clothing Boutique
 More folding, but the clothes were more expensive)
Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work

Some girl just dropped this resume off at my work