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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, Xxx: OK, so, our that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those XX: A true programmer
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story:
 build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know,
 Xxx: OK, so, our
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something anything
 - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy"
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login.
 xxx: kumar-asshole.sh scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time".
 xxx: hangover.sh another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am.
 xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xxx: holy sh*t I'm keeping those
 XX:
A true programmer

A true programmer

Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddamn-doomguy: captainsnoop: big dick energy Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans. This is genuinely beyond big dick energy It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE) Holy shit Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT.  Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.   ALPHA AF!!! I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him. Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.
Af, Ass, and Big Dick: fleur-cannnon:

afairlypudgycat:

whiskeyworen:

jaxblade:

norseminuteman:

red-faced-wolf:

kasaron:


bears-for-the-bear-god:

the-goddamn-doomguy:

captainsnoop:
big dick energy
Exactly the kind of response Doomguy should get when he walks into a room with other humans.


This is genuinely beyond big dick energy

It’s honestly Argent Phallus Energy (APE)


Holy shit 

Everyone is talking about key-card guy, but my favorite is the dude who tries to hide behind his swivel chair. Babe, babe, No, Doomguy jumps dick first into hell portals on an hourly basis and pops berserker power ups like your mom pops xanax. That chair aint doin SHIT. 
Also I love how they don’t just seem to be afraid of the fact that the apex predator of the Legions of Armageddon just walked in. They are acting like they think he might attack them, because you know the UAC has waged a serious PR war against Doom-Chad while he’s been kicking ass on Mars/Hell.  

ALPHA AF!!!

I just love the fact that DoomGuy spots the keycard on the dude’s lanyard, and instead of doing a vicious yank, or simply snapping it off the lanyard like he always does, he very, VERY carefully takes it, and slowly pulls the dude to the scanner, before letting him go.For a dude filled with eternal rage and seething violence, that was remarkably polite of him. It was almost his “…Excuse me. I require this. Pardon my reach.”Then that poor marine. “Hey YOU! You can’t… be… here…” DoomGuy just casually approaches, looks at him, looks at his gun, and then still remarkably politely, just takes it. Doesn’t wrench it away, or kill the guy, or anything violent. Just reaches out and retrieves it. Again, like “You are doing a fine job. That’s a fine weapon. Mind if I see it? *takes it and walks away*”It’s as if he’s being very, VERY careful not to harm normal humans (or whatever augmented humans those armored marines qualify as), saving his violence specifically for the Daemonic.Kinda supports my idea that DoomGuy isn’t neccessarily a bloodthirsty raging psycho. He’s a guy who has seen so much, done SO MUCH… that he’s calm. He’s so far beyond wrath at the demons that he’s entered a weird Calm and just LIVES there. Nothing shakes him of it. He doesn’t grunt, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t scream, he just breathes and moves on. New demon? Well, it’ll bleed like the last. He doesn’t revel in combat, he just moves through it like walking through air; it’s a function of existence for him.

Doomguy dissociating 100% of the time


Within the first few minutes of Doom 2016 and throughout much of the remainder of the game it’s clear that Doomguy values human life A LOT. Humans are never his enemy, it’s the demons. He looks at the dead man in the elevator as Hayden says something along the lines of “I swear it was for the greater good.” Doomguy sees right in front of him it wasn’t, and I betcha right then Doomguy was against Hayden. Doomguy doesn’t take kindly to crimes against humanity, even if accidental.

fleur-cannnon: afairlypudgycat: whiskeyworen: jaxblade: norseminuteman: red-faced-wolf: kasaron: bears-for-the-bear-god: the-goddam...

Child Support, Children, and Condom: 宋 Slay Follow @Foreverlighty My homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see $116.63 after child support... this is some fucked up stuff Earnings rate hours this tod Regular Overtime 18.5900 8.00 1.487.20 27,8850 4.88 136.08 Holiday Pay Paid Time Off Gross Pa $1,623.28 Deductions Statuto Federal Income Tax -149.03 Social Security Tax Medicare Tax 83.99 -19.65 Other -210.42 49.64 Core Health Dental Support Order Support Order Support Order Support Order 268.19 -231.79 233.30 -252.03 Vision 8.51 Net Pa Checking S116.73 -116.73 mother of kittens gi Follow @redheaded_wreck I'm glad he's seeing consequences for his actions of having irresponsible sex Maybe he should have kept his legs closed if he wasn't ready to take responsibility for his actions://// Slayd @Foreverlighty iMy homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see $116.63 after child support this is some fucked up stuff Show this thread 9:28 AM - 18 May 2019 11,656 Retweets 47,401 Likes C s divestedblackwoman: bichaotic: ophelias-revenge: unheavenlycreature: sugarkat: theambassadorposts: Why does it look like 4 support payments? 4 kids?? Or am I just reading shit wrong Four kids he wasn’t supporting until a court order demanded it. Possibly more than one. Honestly? Precisely zero sympathy for the dude. first of all that says he worked 80 hours before hitting ot so this is a biweekly check…anyway i went and found the twitter thread and in it the dude confirms his friend had 4 different kids by 4 different women. so please allow me to play the world’s smallest violin for him for being court mandated to help take care of the children he brought into this world :’( :’( clearly he didn’t decide to start strapping up after the first, second, or even third child so maybe number four will be enough to convince him Men really be out there knocking up women left right and center and telling women “but baby it feels so much better without a condom!” and voting for dudes who are banning abortion and they cry about how they can’t trust women on birth control and they’re abandoning kids all over the country but we’re supposed to cry when the court says pay for your kids in a system where welfare and WIC is fucking peanuts and won’t even cover breakfast daily. Fuck their crocodile tears! Where’s the laws for forced castrations after men are irresponsible and have two kids they don’t want to support? Men who don’t like abortion or don’t wanna pay child support can wear a condom or have a vasectomy!! No sympathy for deadbeats. Pay the fuck up.
Child Support, Children, and Condom: 宋
 Slay
 Follow
 @Foreverlighty
 My homeboy make 16 hundred a week
 but he only see $116.63 after child
 support... this is some fucked up stuff

 Earnings
 rate
 hours
 this tod
 Regular
 Overtime
 18.5900 8.00
 1.487.20
 27,8850
 4.88
 136.08
 Holiday Pay
 Paid Time Off
 Gross Pa
 $1,623.28
 Deductions Statuto
 Federal Income Tax
 -149.03
 Social Security Tax
 Medicare Tax
 83.99
 -19.65
 Other
 -210.42
 49.64
 Core Health
 Dental
 Support Order
 Support Order
 Support Order
 Support Order
 268.19
 -231.79
 233.30
 -252.03
 Vision
 8.51
 Net Pa
 Checking
 S116.73
 -116.73

 mother of kittens
 gi
 Follow
 @redheaded_wreck
 I'm glad he's seeing consequences for
 his actions of having irresponsible sex
 Maybe he should have kept his legs
 closed if he wasn't ready to take
 responsibility for his actions:////
 Slayd @Foreverlighty
 iMy homeboy make 16 hundred a week but he only see
 $116.63 after child support this is some fucked up stuff
 Show this thread
 9:28 AM - 18 May 2019
 11,656 Retweets 47,401 Likes C
 s
divestedblackwoman:
bichaotic:

ophelias-revenge:

unheavenlycreature:


sugarkat:

theambassadorposts:
Why does it look like 4 support payments? 4 kids?? Or am I just reading shit wrong

Four kids he wasn’t supporting until a court order demanded it. Possibly more than one.
Honestly? Precisely zero sympathy for the dude.

first of all that says he worked 80 hours before hitting ot so this is a biweekly check…anyway i went and found the twitter thread and in it the dude confirms his friend had 4 different kids by 4 different women. so please allow me to play the world’s smallest violin for him for being court mandated to help take care of the children he brought into this world :’( :’( clearly he didn’t decide to start strapping up after the first, second, or even third child so maybe number four will be enough to convince him


Men really be out there knocking up women left right and center and telling women “but baby it feels so much better without a condom!” and voting for dudes who are banning abortion and they cry about how they can’t trust women on birth control and they’re abandoning kids all over the country but we’re supposed to cry when the court says pay for your kids in a system where welfare and WIC is fucking peanuts and won’t even cover breakfast daily. 
Fuck their crocodile tears! 
Where’s the laws for forced castrations after men are irresponsible and have two kids they don’t want to support? 


Men who don’t like abortion or don’t wanna pay child support can wear a condom or have a vasectomy!!


No sympathy for deadbeats. Pay the fuck up.

divestedblackwoman: bichaotic: ophelias-revenge: unheavenlycreature: sugarkat: theambassadorposts: Why does it look like 4 support paym...

9/11, America, and Bad: CAN Following @CNN Former President George W Bush said he is "disturbed" by the immigration deba taking place in the United States because it "undermines the goodness of America." cnn.it /2uhH6uB 6:31 PM - 12 Jul 2018 730 Retweets 3,902 Likes Brotha EB @BlakeDontCrack Following George Bush literally created ICE CNN@CNN Former President George W Bush said he is "disturbed" by the immigration debate taking place in the United States because it undermines the goodness of America." cnn.it/2uhH6uB 9:35 PM-12 Jul 2018 391 Retweets 903 Likes c-bassmeow: n0rdicalien: c-bassmeow: sodomymcscurvylegs: whyyoustabbedme: whyyoustabbedme: Dropping bombs on major cities full of civilians because you thought they had “weapons of mass destruction” (and they didn’t) undermined our goodness too. Bottom line about Bush and immigration is that post 9/11 immigration policies rarely if ever caught any potential terrorists but it did spike the number of deportations with the creation of ICE. http://trac.syr.edu/immigration/reports/260/ This is all correct and this dude is a war criminal, but imagine how bad things are that the dude that used the death of thousands of Americans to invade the wrong country for oil and subsequently kill thousands on both sides on one of America’s shitty wars looks at the current dude in power and is flabbergasted. Like, straight up: “this is too fucked up even for me.” nah Bush was shit and so far he is worse than Trump. Obviously Trump has been in office for less time and can def outdo Bush but bush is still far worse and far more authoritarian than Trump.  Not only did Bush create ICE he also sent us to two wars built on false pretenses that have cost us TRILLIONS of dollars AND didn’t kill thousands, it killed MILLIONS of innocent Iraqi’s and other peoples. Trump’s death toll isn’t even close. So far obviously.  Then he ruined our education system and put even worse economic incentives on it with the no child left behind act.  He stripped us of several civil liberties that newer generations now take for granted such as privacy with the patriot act.  The NSA was created to spy on US citizens despite intelligence agencies (which liberals now adore since Trump attacked their “integrity) lying to our faces under oath (which is super illegal) that they weren’t doing so.  so no…. Bush is trying to make himself feel good by being ant-Trump. He is more than just a war criminal and frankly so far, again, he was much worse. We cannot let historical amnesia take over. He gave Trump all the tools to be an authoritarian monster, tools that Obama, mind you, never disbanded.  Trump is a piece of shit and again can very well outdo Bush but Bush and his administration  were literally evil and so far have been way worse. The post 9/11 political and economic trauma we have all experienced were his administrations fault. oh yeah also the crash of the economy and the lost livelihoods of MILLIONS of people including my mother who couldn’t find a job for ages was his administrations doing.   Do not rehabilitate this man. Please.  i heard ICE also prevents child/human trafficking. Is that true? Even if it does that’s a smokescreen to distract us from how evil it is. The US military sometimes does “good” by giving aide to famished countries yet often it’s the one creating the famines lol We can have a non militarized agency that deals with human trafficking without ripping children from their families and without being hostile to brown immigrants who are often fleeing extreme violence and penury some caused by the US. Also for those who are concerned about border security…… we had border security before ICE was invented. ICE is not needed at all. Plus the border security BS is overrated since immigrants commit less crimes than non immigrants and if we legalize drugs and regulated them and taxed them gang violence and Mafia like activity that occurs on the border will cease to exist. We are the cause of a lot of this. We create a problem and then make it worse by our militarized non-solutions. Lastly, if my sources are correct ICE has lost many children who have possibly been lost to human traffickers so …. some job they’re doing.
9/11, America, and Bad: CAN
 Following
 @CNN
 Former President George W Bush said he is
 "disturbed" by the immigration deba taking
 place in the United States because it
 "undermines the goodness of America." cnn.it
 /2uhH6uB
 6:31 PM - 12 Jul 2018
 730 Retweets 3,902 Likes

 Brotha EB
 @BlakeDontCrack
 Following
 George Bush literally created ICE
 CNN@CNN
 Former President George W Bush said he is "disturbed" by the
 immigration debate taking place in the United States because it
 undermines the goodness of America." cnn.it/2uhH6uB
 9:35 PM-12 Jul 2018
 391 Retweets 903 Likes
c-bassmeow:

n0rdicalien:

c-bassmeow:
sodomymcscurvylegs:

whyyoustabbedme:

whyyoustabbedme:
Dropping bombs on major cities full of civilians because you thought they had “weapons of mass destruction” (and they didn’t) undermined our goodness too.
Bottom line about Bush and immigration is that post 9/11 immigration policies rarely if ever caught any potential terrorists but it did spike the number of deportations with the creation of ICE. 
http://trac.syr.edu/immigration/reports/260/

This is all correct and this dude is a war criminal, but imagine how bad things are that the dude that used the death of thousands of Americans to invade the wrong country for oil and subsequently kill thousands on both sides on one of America’s shitty wars looks at the current dude in power and is flabbergasted. Like, straight up: “this is too fucked up even for me.”

nah Bush was shit and so far he is worse than Trump. Obviously Trump has been in office for less time and can def outdo Bush but bush is still far worse and far more authoritarian than Trump. 
Not only did Bush create ICE he also sent us to two wars built on false pretenses that have cost us TRILLIONS of dollars AND didn’t kill thousands, it killed MILLIONS of innocent Iraqi’s and other peoples. Trump’s death toll isn’t even close. So far obviously. 
Then he ruined our education system and put even worse economic incentives on it with the no child left behind act. 
He stripped us of several civil liberties that newer generations now take for granted such as privacy with the patriot act. 
The NSA was created to spy on US citizens despite intelligence agencies (which liberals now adore since Trump attacked their “integrity) lying to our faces under oath (which is super illegal) that they weren’t doing so. 
so no…. Bush is trying to make himself feel good by being ant-Trump. He is more than just a war criminal and frankly so far, again, he was much worse. We cannot let historical amnesia take over. He gave Trump all the tools to be an authoritarian monster, tools that Obama, mind you, never disbanded. 

Trump is a piece of shit and again can very well outdo Bush but Bush and his administration  were literally evil and so far have been way worse. The post 9/11 political and economic trauma we have all experienced were his administrations fault. oh yeah also the crash of the economy and the lost livelihoods of MILLIONS of people including my mother who couldn’t find a job for ages was his administrations doing.  

Do not rehabilitate this man. Please. 

i heard ICE also prevents child/human trafficking. Is that true?

Even if it does that’s a smokescreen to distract us from how evil it is. The US military sometimes does “good” by giving aide to famished countries yet often it’s the one creating the famines lol We can have a non militarized agency that deals with human trafficking without ripping children from their families and without being hostile to brown immigrants who are often fleeing extreme violence and penury some caused by the US. Also for those who are concerned about border security…… we had border security before ICE was invented. ICE is not needed at all. Plus the border security BS is overrated since immigrants commit less crimes than non immigrants and if we legalize drugs and regulated them and taxed them gang violence and Mafia like activity that occurs on the border will cease to exist. We are the cause of a lot of this. We create a problem and then make it worse by our militarized non-solutions. Lastly, if my sources are correct ICE has lost many children who have possibly been lost to human traffickers so …. some job they’re doing.

c-bassmeow: n0rdicalien: c-bassmeow: sodomymcscurvylegs: whyyoustabbedme: whyyoustabbedme: Dropping bombs on major cities full of civili...

Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story.
 xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything
 requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login
 xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time"
 xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am
 xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those
I found this on an old Git account

I found this on an old Git account