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Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts Based on a true story. xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy xxx: You're gonna love this ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time" xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those I found this on an old Git account
Apparently, Bitch, and Dude: Hacker Scripts
 Based on a true story.
 xoox: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know
 that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... I fsomething- anything
 requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that.
 xxoc: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy
 xxx: You're gonna love this
 ooc: smack-my-bitch-up.sh -sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons
 from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server
 after 9pm with his login
 xxox: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help"
 trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database
 to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time"
 xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well/gonna
 work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive
 sessions on the server at 8:45am
 xoox: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee. sh this one waits exatly 17 seconds(), then opens a telnet session to
 our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and
 running) and sends something like sys brew.Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits
 another 24 () seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from
 the dudes desk.
 xoxx: holy sh"t I'm keeping those
I found this on an old Git account

I found this on an old Git account

Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are. Compare with this image from the GQ article last February: Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc. The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone? His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person. Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.
Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan:
kakaphoe:


rikzpt:

rikzpt:

konigstigerr:

unlimited-shitpost-works:

ima-fuckingt4ble:

my-little-ninja:

dasha-loses-it:

femburton:

i think about this a lot


The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack.

he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career 

protect him

reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left

people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone.


This man deserves everything let him he happy

Ok… This is what happened to Fraser
-His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year,  
-He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression 
-He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords.
-He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression.
This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best

All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are.
Compare with this image from the GQ article last February:
Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc.
The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.


Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone?
His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person.
Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.

ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: fem...

Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are. Compare with this image from the GQ article last February: Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc. The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone? His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person. Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.
Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan:
kakaphoe:


rikzpt:

rikzpt:

konigstigerr:

unlimited-shitpost-works:

ima-fuckingt4ble:

my-little-ninja:

dasha-loses-it:

femburton:

i think about this a lot


The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack.

he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career 

protect him

reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left

people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone.


This man deserves everything let him he happy

Ok… This is what happened to Fraser
-His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year,  
-He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression 
-He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords.
-He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression.
This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best

All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are.
Compare with this image from the GQ article last February:
Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc.
The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.


Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone?
His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person.
Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.

ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: fem...

Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0
Amazon, Ass, and Dildo: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

i havent laughed this hard in a month via /r/memes http://bit.ly/2DXBsD0

Amazon, Ass, and Dank: bandtshirt jillz @JillyKila Amazon got me fucked up tellin all my business!!! 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone LMAO00000000 theblackd4hlia no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible anonbuddha If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and bounced into the stall next to me The OCCUPIED stall next to me. I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his foot i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie MORE MEMES
Amazon, Ass, and Dank: bandtshirt
 jillz
 @JillyKila
 Amazon got me fucked up tellin all
 my business!!!
 5:01 PM.1/14/19 Twitter for iPhone
 LMAO00000000
 theblackd4hlia
 no but seriously one time i ordered something from adam & eve (surprise a big
 ol dildo) and the order said discreet shipping and i was like cool ya know cause
 i lived with three dudes in an apartment and also had to go to the apartment
 office to pick up my package so discreet is dope and i got the package delivery
 notification like sick im about to dick myself so i walked my happy horny ass
 down to the office and told the lady my name and she went into the package
 delivery room to grab it and it took her a minute and she came out with a dick
 shaped bag just grasping the shaft of it and i looked at it mortified and had to
 grab the balls part of the package from the woman and she let go and it just
 wiggled and i could feel the squish through the bag and it was just horrible
 anonbuddha
 If it's any consolation, I get it. I'm a trans guy who wears a packer. One day I
 was in the restroom and pulled my pants down. I realy had to go so l did it fast
 and the magnet clip came undone and my dick flopped out of my boxers and
 bounced into the stall next to me
 The OCCUPIED stall next to me.
 I wanted to die. There was this horrible forever silence moments. Then the
 dude just goes, Uh, you dropped your dick man," and nudges it over with his
 foot
i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie
MORE MEMES

i havent laughed this hard in a month by macmoosie MORE MEMES

Ass, Dude, and Energy: Countess Von Fingerbang @HeatherApplebum Men who feel the need to quiz women when we show any interest in something that they deem "theirs" are fucking annoying. Cut it the fuck out, suck a dick "With all the six stones I can simply snap my fingers, they will all cease to exist. I call that...mercy"-Thanos Replying to @MajinCheeks But can you name all the stones according to color? 5/11/18, 3:22 PM 1 Retweet e r Bluffy Spice @MajinCh... . 17h Replying to @themanstre Let's play! Space Mind Power 5/12/18,6:43 AM 78.9K Retweets 216K Likes oh-the-mess-i-make: madamehearthwitch: evilkillerpoptarts: momo-de-avis: cumaeansibyl: a) do you really think someone would put all that time and energy into making an infinity stone jewelry piece if they didn’t know all about the infinity stones b) I don’t see you putting all that time and energy into making an infinity stone jewelry piece, what have you contributed lately besides being a dick to people for no reason c) who gives a shit if you can’t name all the stones, you’re allowed to enjoy the shit you enjoy without some whiney ass loser quizzing you to the smallest detail I will NEVER FORGET my first convention.  A table was doing Transformers trivia and you could win a prize.  The men in front of me were asked fairly difficult questions.   Then I rolled up.  Dressed as Thrust because buttwings, damnit. “Oh, we’ll go easy on you,” the dude said in the most condescending, smarmy tone.  “Name one of the dinobots.” I rattled all five off in alphabetical order, and demanded that they tell me all six Constructicons. There were several guys at the table.  They managed five. “You forgot Bonecrusher,” I said sweetly and walked off.  I didn’t want the prize I’d rightfully earned.  Their spluttering was all I wanted. If you’re gonna gatekeep, I’m gonna DESTROY YOU. Great story BUT… You shouldn’t have to destroy them!! You don’t have to love something in a ridiculously obsessive way that knows every tiny fucking detail for your love of it to bring you joy. If that’s how they get joy, cool, nice for them. But you don’t have to. You can casually love a thing, cosplay as a thing, go to cons for a thing, without dissecting it into little pieces. Women do not have to be exceptional in order to belong. WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO BE EXCEPTIONAL IN ORDER TO BELONG
Ass, Dude, and Energy: Countess Von Fingerbang
 @HeatherApplebum
 Men who feel the need to quiz women
 when we show any interest in something
 that they deem "theirs" are fucking
 annoying. Cut it the fuck out, suck a dick
 "With all the six stones I can simply
 snap my fingers, they will all cease to
 exist. I call that...mercy"-Thanos
 Replying to @MajinCheeks
 But can you name all the stones
 according to color?
 5/11/18, 3:22 PM
 1 Retweet
 e r Bluffy Spice @MajinCh... . 17h
 Replying to @themanstre
 Let's play!
 Space
 Mind
 Power
 5/12/18,6:43 AM
 78.9K Retweets 216K Likes
oh-the-mess-i-make:
madamehearthwitch:

evilkillerpoptarts:

momo-de-avis:

cumaeansibyl:

a) do you really think someone would put all that time and energy into making an infinity stone jewelry piece if they didn’t know all about the infinity stones
b) I don’t see you putting all that time and energy into making an infinity stone jewelry piece, what have you contributed lately besides being a dick to people for no reason

c) who gives a shit if you can’t name all the stones, you’re allowed to enjoy the shit you enjoy without some whiney ass loser quizzing you to the smallest detail

I will NEVER FORGET my first convention.  A table was doing Transformers trivia and you could win a prize.  The men in front of me were asked fairly difficult questions.  
Then I rolled up.  Dressed as Thrust because buttwings, damnit.
“Oh, we’ll go easy on you,” the dude said in the most condescending, smarmy tone.  “Name one of the dinobots.”
I rattled all five off in alphabetical order, and demanded that they tell me all six Constructicons.
There were several guys at the table.  They managed five.
“You forgot Bonecrusher,” I said sweetly and walked off.  I didn’t want the prize I’d rightfully earned.  Their spluttering was all I wanted.
If you’re gonna gatekeep, I’m gonna DESTROY YOU.

Great story BUT… You shouldn’t have to destroy them!!
You don’t have to love something in a ridiculously obsessive way that knows every tiny fucking detail for your love of it to bring you joy. If that’s how they get joy, cool, nice for them. But you don’t have to.
You can casually love a thing, cosplay as a thing, go to cons for a thing, without dissecting it into little pieces.
Women do not have to be exceptional in order to belong.

WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO BE EXCEPTIONAL IN ORDER TO BELONG

oh-the-mess-i-make: madamehearthwitch: evilkillerpoptarts: momo-de-avis: cumaeansibyl: a) do you really think someone would put all that...

Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: femburton: i think about this a lot The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack. he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career protect him reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone. This man deserves everything let him he happy Ok… This is what happened to Fraser -His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year, -He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression -He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords. -He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression. This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are.Compare with this image from the GQ article last February:Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc.The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone?His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person.Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.
Being Alone, Apparently, and Bad: ouyangdan:

kakaphoe:

rikzpt:

rikzpt:

konigstigerr:

unlimited-shitpost-works:

ima-fuckingt4ble:

my-little-ninja:

dasha-loses-it:

femburton:

i think about this a lot


The guy got his life and career destroyed by his divorce, cut him some slack.

he was also sexually assaulted by a man who could destroy his career 

protect him

reblog if the man on the right is just as beautiful as the man on the left

people grow old? like, that’s a thing that happens? leave my guy alone.


This man deserves everything let him he happy

Ok… This is what happened to Fraser
-His wife ditched him and asked for 900k a year,  
-He was sexually assaulted which he said kicked him into a deep depression 
-He stated that the stunts from the 3rd Mummy movie completely destroyed his body and he was in and out of the hospital for 7 years even having to get surgery to repair his vocal cords.
-He apparently blamed himself for all this which only worsened his depression.
This man has literally been through hell this past decade so please lets cut him some slack and wish him the best

All this but also that picture on the right is a really bad paparazzi photo compared with a professional quality movie promo still. No one looks good when some random person snaps you on the street, regardless of who you are.Compare with this image from the GQ article last February:Proper lighting, professional setting, good angles etc.The dude is 49 and has had a rough couple of decades, but he’s still lovely to look at, and I’ll fight anyone who says otherwise.

Could we leave one of the very rarely found unproblematic white dudes alone?His GQ piece is amazing and heartbreaking. He’s such a beautiful person.Not only that but only utter garbage people body shame.

ouyangdan: kakaphoe: rikzpt: rikzpt: konigstigerr: unlimited-shitpost-works: ima-fuckingt4ble: my-little-ninja: dasha-loses-it: fem...

Dude, Tumblr, and Blog: tyrannosaurus-rex:the most important part of this video to me is the dude deadpan holding his shoe to his ear in the back
Dude, Tumblr, and Blog: tyrannosaurus-rex:the most important part of this video to me is the dude deadpan holding his shoe to his ear in the back

tyrannosaurus-rex:the most important part of this video to me is the dude deadpan holding his shoe to his ear in the back