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the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

the passage: Justino Mora @JustinoMora 1 New is 1 of 100 undocumented students in medical school in the country. He's 1 of few #DACA students at @Harvard University. New is also an activist & a plaintiff in the federal lawsuit against the Trump Administration that helped bring a portion of DACA back to life. New emigrated from Thailand to the United States’ San Francisco Bay Area when he was nine years old and is now a recent graduate from the University of California-Berkeley, with a bachelor’s degree in Molecular and Cellular Biology. . Recently, he delivered a powerful speech at @TEDxBerkeley available for y'all to watch here: bit.ly-new-tedx-speech . Throughout college, he funded his education with part-time jobs and private scholarships while staying involved in groups such as the Thai Student Association, Resident Hall Assembly, and the AB540 Coalition on campus. . Off-campus, he served as a first co-chair of ASPIRE (Asian Students Promoting Immigrant Rights through Education) at Asian Law Caucus, where he advocated and fought for the passage of the federal and the CA DREAM Act of recent years. Most importantly, he continues to speak out as an Asian undocumented youth to increase visibility of API communities in immigration reform, re-frame the public’s perception, and create a community for other API undocumented youth. . New also co-founded Pre-Health Dreamers in hopes of alleviating the barriers he has faced for future undocumented students pursuing their dreams in the health and sciences. . As an aspiring medical doctor who is pursuing a Master’s degree in Public Health at the School of Public Policy at Harvard University, New seeks to remedy the barriers that low-income and immigrant families of America face in accessing healthcare. His time volunteering with the homeless through the Suitcase Clinic and with Oakland’s low-income communities as a Healthy Ambassador of Mentoring in Medicine & Science exposed him to the stories of different communities, but also the struggles shared by all of them. . New aims to become a physician who practices medicine through a public health lens, using primary care, research, and policy to shape health for the individual and the community. daca cleanDreamAct HereToStay immigration undocumented dreamactnow
the passage: Justino Mora
 @JustinoMora 1
 New is 1 of 100 undocumented
 students in medical school in the
 country. He's 1 of few #DACA students
 at @Harvard University. New is
 also an activist & a plaintiff in the
 federal lawsuit against the Trump
 Administration that helped bring a
 portion of DACA back to life.
New emigrated from Thailand to the United States’ San Francisco Bay Area when he was nine years old and is now a recent graduate from the University of California-Berkeley, with a bachelor’s degree in Molecular and Cellular Biology. . Recently, he delivered a powerful speech at @TEDxBerkeley available for y'all to watch here: bit.ly-new-tedx-speech . Throughout college, he funded his education with part-time jobs and private scholarships while staying involved in groups such as the Thai Student Association, Resident Hall Assembly, and the AB540 Coalition on campus. . Off-campus, he served as a first co-chair of ASPIRE (Asian Students Promoting Immigrant Rights through Education) at Asian Law Caucus, where he advocated and fought for the passage of the federal and the CA DREAM Act of recent years. Most importantly, he continues to speak out as an Asian undocumented youth to increase visibility of API communities in immigration reform, re-frame the public’s perception, and create a community for other API undocumented youth. . New also co-founded Pre-Health Dreamers in hopes of alleviating the barriers he has faced for future undocumented students pursuing their dreams in the health and sciences. . As an aspiring medical doctor who is pursuing a Master’s degree in Public Health at the School of Public Policy at Harvard University, New seeks to remedy the barriers that low-income and immigrant families of America face in accessing healthcare. His time volunteering with the homeless through the Suitcase Clinic and with Oakland’s low-income communities as a Healthy Ambassador of Mentoring in Medicine & Science exposed him to the stories of different communities, but also the struggles shared by all of them. . New aims to become a physician who practices medicine through a public health lens, using primary care, research, and policy to shape health for the individual and the community. daca cleanDreamAct HereToStay immigration undocumented dreamactnow

New emigrated from Thailand to the United States’ San Francisco Bay Area when he was nine years old and is now a recent graduate from the...

the passage: MAD'S DO-IT-YOURSELF CONSTANTLY-REOCCURRING MASS SHOOTING NEWS STORY A gunman opened fire at a... grade school high schoo college shopping mall concert today, killing and injuring Local law-enforcement officials who rushed to the scene said the gunman was armed with semi- automatic assault rifles, purchased legally. purchased illegally. handguns, and additional clips of ammo, all... given to the gunman by his parents The gunman... □ was taken into custody. was shot and killed by police. took his own life. A local resident at the scene expressed... □ total disbelief, strong anger, □ complete dismay. saying a violent tragedy such as this never happens in this close-knit community. He said now, more than ever, he wants... Congress to pass common-sense gun control laws. to get a gun to protect himself and his family Speaking from the White House lawn, the President said he was.. deeply saddened. deeply horrified. deeply shocked deeply saddened, horrified and shocked. He then offered his. □ prayers □ condolences to the victims and their families. warmest sympathies He concluded his remarks by... ordering that all flags be flown at half mast and calling for a day of national mourning □ pledging the full support of the federal government in investigating the incident, announcing that he will visit with the families of the victims later this week, while prominent Republicans... called for greater enforcement of existing laws. placed the blame for the shooting on violent movies and video games said the answer to the problem is "more good guys with guns." Today's mass shooting was the th since Sandy Hook, bringing the total death count to A spokesman for the NRA... □ declined comment □ declared that the passage of any kind of gun-control legislation violates the Second Amendment and puts us one step closer to Nazi Germany madmagazine.com
the passage: MAD'S DO-IT-YOURSELF CONSTANTLY-REOCCURRING
 MASS SHOOTING NEWS STORY
 A gunman opened fire at a...
 grade school high schoo college shopping mall concert
 today, killing
 and injuring
 Local law-enforcement officials who rushed to the scene said the gunman was armed with
 semi- automatic assault rifles,
 purchased legally. purchased illegally.
 handguns, and
 additional clips of ammo, all...
 given to the gunman by his parents
 The gunman...
 □ was taken into custody.
 was shot and killed by police.
 took his own life.
 A local resident at the scene expressed...
 □ total disbelief, strong anger, □ complete dismay.
 saying a violent tragedy such as this never happens in this close-knit community.
 He said now, more than ever, he wants...
 Congress to pass common-sense gun control laws. to get a gun to protect himself and his family
 Speaking from the White House lawn, the President said he was..
 deeply saddened. deeply horrified. deeply shocked
 deeply saddened, horrified and shocked.
 He then offered his.
 □ prayers □ condolences
 to the victims and their families.
 warmest sympathies
 He concluded his remarks by...
 ordering that all flags be flown at half mast and calling for a day of national mourning
 □ pledging the full support of the federal government in investigating the incident,
 announcing that he will visit with the families of the victims later this week,
 while prominent Republicans...
 called for greater enforcement of existing laws.
 placed the blame for the shooting on violent movies and video games
 said the answer to the problem is "more good guys with guns."
 Today's mass shooting was the
 th since Sandy Hook, bringing the total death count to
 A spokesman for the NRA...
 □ declined comment
 □ declared that the passage of any kind of gun-control legislation violates
 the Second Amendment and puts us one step closer to Nazi Germany
 madmagazine.com
the passage: 15 GE <p><a href="http://todayinhistory.tumblr.com/post/158118559340/march-7th-1965-bloody-sunday-in-selma-on-this" class="tumblr_blog">todayinhistory</a>:</p> <blockquote><h2><b>March 7th 1965: Bloody Sunday in Selma</b><br/></h2><p><small>On this day in 1965, a civil rights march took place from Selma to Birmingham, Alabama; it became known as ‘Bloody Sunday’. At this stage, the Civil Rights Movement had been in motion for over a decade and already achieved legislative success with the Civil Rights Act. However the focus of the movement now became making the promise of equal franchise guaranteed in the Fifteenth Amendment a reality. While African-Americans exercised the right to vote in the years after the amendment’s passage in 1870, discriminatory measures like literacy tests, poll taxes, and grandfather clauses were soon implemented across the country to deprive them of the vote. Thus in 1965 civil rights leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. made voter registration the core of their efforts, centering the campaign on the particularly discriminatory Selma, AL. On March 7th - ‘Bloody Sunday’ - as the six hundred unarmed marchers were crossing the Edmund Pettus Bridge, they were descended upon by state troopers who viciously beat the protestors. The violence encountered by these peaceful marchers, which was captured on television and broadcast around the world, led to national outcry and caused President Johnson to publicly call for the passage of his administration’s proposed voting rights bill. After securing the support of federal troops, another march was held on March 21st, and with the protection of soldiers the marchers managed to arrive in Montgomery after three days. The marchers were met in Montgomery - the epicentre of the movement and the site of the 1954 bus boycott - by 50,000 supporters, who were <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmlk-kpp01.stanford.edu%2Findex.php%2Fencyclopedia%2Fdocumentsentry%2Fdoc_address_at_the_conclusion_of_selma_march%2F&amp;t=ODFiYTlmNTUzMDBkNDZlNDZmNWY3ZmRlMzUxZmFlM2IwZTFhYjJjMCxmektqZnFpQQ%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AK8nQSpQKtfYKCWU81c9qzQ&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Ftodayinhistory.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F112966559746%2Fmarch-7th-1965-bloody-sunday-in-selma-on-this&amp;m=1">addressed by King</a>. Their efforts were rewarded when, in August of that year, Congress passed the Voting Rights Act that ensured all Americans could vote. This was one of the crowning achievements of the Civil Rights Movement, and the Selma to Montgomery march is commemorated as one of the most important moments of the struggle.</small></p><blockquote><p><b><i><small>“We are on the move and no wave of racism can stop us. The burning of our churches will not deter us. The bombing of our homes will not dissuade us. We are on the move now…not even the marching of mighty armies can halt us. We are moving to the land of freedom”</small></i></b><br/><small>- King’s &lsquo;Address at the Conclusion of the Selma to Montgomery March’ - 25th March, 1965</small></p></blockquote></blockquote>
the passage: 15
 GE
<p><a href="http://todayinhistory.tumblr.com/post/158118559340/march-7th-1965-bloody-sunday-in-selma-on-this" class="tumblr_blog">todayinhistory</a>:</p>

<blockquote><h2><b>March 7th 1965: Bloody Sunday in Selma</b><br/></h2><p><small>On 
this day in 1965, a civil rights march took place from Selma to 
Birmingham, Alabama; it became known as ‘Bloody Sunday’. At this stage, 
the Civil Rights Movement had been in motion for over a decade and 
already achieved legislative success with the Civil Rights Act. However 
the focus of the movement now became making the promise of equal 
franchise guaranteed in the Fifteenth Amendment a reality. While 
African-Americans exercised the right to vote in the years after the 
amendment’s passage in 1870, discriminatory measures like literacy 
tests, poll taxes, and grandfather clauses were soon implemented across 
the country to deprive them of the vote. Thus in 1965 civil rights 
leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. made voter registration the core of 
their efforts, centering the campaign on the particularly discriminatory
 Selma, AL. On March 7th - ‘Bloody Sunday’ - as the six hundred unarmed 
marchers were crossing the Edmund Pettus Bridge, they were descended 
upon by state troopers who viciously beat the protestors. The violence 
encountered by these peaceful marchers, which was captured on television
 and broadcast around the world, led to national outcry and caused 
President Johnson to publicly call for the passage of his 
administration’s proposed voting rights bill. After securing the support
 of federal troops, another march was held on March 21st, and with the 
protection of soldiers the marchers managed to arrive in Montgomery 
after three days. The marchers were met in Montgomery - the epicentre of
 the movement and the site of the 1954 bus boycott - by 50,000 
supporters, who were <a href="http://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fmlk-kpp01.stanford.edu%2Findex.php%2Fencyclopedia%2Fdocumentsentry%2Fdoc_address_at_the_conclusion_of_selma_march%2F&amp;t=ODFiYTlmNTUzMDBkNDZlNDZmNWY3ZmRlMzUxZmFlM2IwZTFhYjJjMCxmektqZnFpQQ%3D%3D&amp;b=t%3AK8nQSpQKtfYKCWU81c9qzQ&amp;p=http%3A%2F%2Ftodayinhistory.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F112966559746%2Fmarch-7th-1965-bloody-sunday-in-selma-on-this&amp;m=1">addressed by King</a>.
 Their efforts were rewarded when, in August of that year, Congress 
passed the Voting Rights Act that ensured all Americans could vote. This
 was one of the crowning achievements of the Civil Rights Movement, and 
the Selma to Montgomery march is commemorated as one of the most 
important moments of the struggle.</small></p><blockquote><p><b><i><small>“We are on the move and no wave of racism can stop us.
 The burning of our churches will not deter us. The bombing of our homes
 will not dissuade us. We are on the move now…not even the marching of 
mighty armies can halt us. We are moving to the land of freedom”</small></i></b><br/><small>- King’s &lsquo;Address at the Conclusion of the Selma to Montgomery March’ - 25th March, 1965</small></p></blockquote></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://todayinhistory.tumblr.com/post/158118559340/march-7th-1965-bloody-sunday-in-selma-on-this" class="tumblr_blog">todayin...

the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day:Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of (second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far.." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace- ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel, Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully (Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Arsehole. (Gary) B'tch. F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI! Gary) In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. (TEACHER) A+ I really liked this one. I wish I had a teacher like him
the passage: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day:Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 (second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far.." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace-
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel, Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 (Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 entire
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Arsehole.
 (Gary)
 B'tch.
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI!
 Gary)
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 (TEACHER)
 A+
 I really liked this one.
I wish I had a teacher like him

I wish I had a teacher like him

the passage: UNOLE TOM'S CABIN OB, LIFE AMONG THE LOWLY. BY HARRIET BEECHER STOWE. VOL. I ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTH THOUSAND. BOST O N: JOHN P. JEWETT & COMPANY CLEVELAND, OHIO: JEWETT, PROCTOR & WORTHINGTON. 1852. <p><a href="http://todayinhistory.tumblr.com/post/120797926895/june-5th-1851-uncle-toms-cabin-begins" class="tumblr_blog">todayinhistory</a>:</p> <blockquote><h2><b>June 5th 1851: <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> begins publication</b></h2><p><small>On this day in 1851, the first installment of Harriet Beecher Stowe’s <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> appeared in abolitionist newspaper the <i>National Era, </i>beginning a serial which lasted for forty weeks. <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> tells the story of a black slave and recounts the harsh reality of his enslavement. Stowe was an ardent advocate of the abolition of slavery, and wrote the novel in response to the passage of the controversial 1850 Fugitive Slave Act which was part of the Compromise of 1850. The Act ordered Northern citizens to assist in the return of runaway slaves from the South, thus forcing the generally anti-slavery North to become complicit in the continuance of the ‘peculiar institution’. The popular discontent over the slavery issue helped make <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> the best-selling novel of the nineteenth century and saw its translation into sixty languages. The novel helped keep the flames of anti-slavery sentiment alive, and is therefore sometimes attributed with helping start the American Civil War. Whilst still hailed as a great anti-slavery work of its day, the novel falls short of modern expectations with its stereotypical portrayal of African-Americans.</small></p><blockquote><b><i><small>“So you’re the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war”</small></i></b><br/><small>- what, according to legend, Abraham Lincoln said upon meeting Stowe in 1862</small></blockquote></blockquote>
the passage: UNOLE TOM'S CABIN
 OB,
 LIFE AMONG THE LOWLY.
 BY
 HARRIET BEECHER STOWE.
 VOL. I
 ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTH THOUSAND.
 BOST O N:
 JOHN P. JEWETT & COMPANY
 CLEVELAND, OHIO:
 JEWETT, PROCTOR & WORTHINGTON.
 1852.
<p><a href="http://todayinhistory.tumblr.com/post/120797926895/june-5th-1851-uncle-toms-cabin-begins" class="tumblr_blog">todayinhistory</a>:</p>

<blockquote><h2><b>June 5th 1851: <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> begins publication</b></h2><p><small>On this day in 1851, the first installment of Harriet Beecher Stowe’s <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> appeared in abolitionist newspaper the <i>National Era, </i>beginning a serial which lasted for forty weeks. <i>Uncle Tom’s 
Cabin</i> tells the story of a black slave and recounts the harsh reality 
of his enslavement. Stowe was an ardent advocate of the abolition of 
slavery, and wrote the novel in response to the passage of the 
controversial 1850 Fugitive Slave Act which was part of the Compromise 
of 1850. The Act ordered Northern citizens to assist in the return of 
runaway slaves from the South, thus forcing the generally anti-slavery 
North to become complicit in the continuance of the ‘peculiar 
institution’. The popular discontent over the slavery issue helped 
make <i>Uncle Tom’s Cabin</i> the best-selling novel of the nineteenth 
century and saw its translation into sixty languages. The novel helped 
keep the flames of anti-slavery sentiment alive, and is therefore 
sometimes attributed with helping start the American Civil War. Whilst 
still hailed as a great anti-slavery work of its day, the novel falls 
short of modern expectations with its stereotypical portrayal of 
African-Americans.</small></p><blockquote><b><i><small>“So you’re the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war”</small></i></b><br/><small>- what, according to legend, Abraham Lincoln said upon meeting Stowe in 1862</small></blockquote></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://todayinhistory.tumblr.com/post/120797926895/june-5th-1851-uncle-toms-cabin-begins" class="tumblr_blog">todayinhistory<...

the passage: COMPILATION OF ICONIC IMAGES by sixpenceee <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sixpenceee.com/post/95765932969/italian-special-force-soldier-after-72-hour-battle">sixpenceee</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Italian special force soldier after 72 hour battle in Afghanistan</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/1fab9eae4831aca45e5c25e62f25222b/tumblr_navt3oM3CO1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p>School for black civil rights activists. Young girl being trained to not react to smoke blown in her face, 1960</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/31af9b986fd9b9c72a78bb2d79dd8182/tumblr_navt7q0i1x1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p>Disability activists abandon their wheelchairs and mobility devices and crawl up the 83 stone steps of the U.S. Capitol Building demanding the passage of the American with Disability Act, March 12, 1990.</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a35a786a2045712a08f79561f0f318e3/tumblr_navtbpzkLY1trybquo1_250.png"/></p> <p>A south Korean man cries as his brother is on a train back to North Korea. Separated by the war, they have not seen the other since 1950. They were allowed to see each other for three days, but one will go back spending life in luxury, and the other in hard labour</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e4136e9da3cc80696f43681b4fdc0787/tumblr_navtde709E1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p> The Mocambo night club in East Hollywood, a white’s only club, was the most popular dance spot around but would not book Ella because she was black. Marilyn, who adored Ella Fitzgerald and her music, called the manager and demanded that they book Ella immediately</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0944caa066855235bd752ed175e6ee1e/tumblr_navtfdbZeX1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p>Portrait of Istvan Reiner, taken shortly before he was killed in Auschwitz</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/7805d019506e262b95bd34dba934e451/tumblr_navtn7F26M1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p>Werfel, a 6 year old orphan from Austria has just been given his first pair of new shoes by the American Red Cross,1946.</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ae924960e160d3b89102896ac1b7b405/tumblr_navtui6raw1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p>The last Jew of Vinnitsa</p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a380cf5d077e2f5410457087c897c25f/tumblr_navtwv8G5F1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p><span>Until the mid-60s, the Aboriginals came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an Aboriginal meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.</span></p> <p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/349a7d685b5edea3a91912d9d3c44faf/tumblr_navu29xlj91trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p> <p>Here’s a link to <strong><a href="http://news.distractify.com/people/amazing/pictures-taken-in-past-10-years/?v=1">75 iconic pictures of the 21st century</a></strong></p> <p>I hope you guys learned and teared up from this as much as I did. </p> </blockquote> <p>Until the 1969s?!?!? Holy dang&hellip;</p>
the passage: COMPILATION OF ICONIC IMAGES
 by sixpenceee
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sixpenceee.com/post/95765932969/italian-special-force-soldier-after-72-hour-battle">sixpenceee</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Italian special force soldier after 72 hour battle in Afghanistan</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/1fab9eae4831aca45e5c25e62f25222b/tumblr_navt3oM3CO1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p>School for black civil rights activists. Young girl being trained to not react to smoke blown in her face, 1960</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/31af9b986fd9b9c72a78bb2d79dd8182/tumblr_navt7q0i1x1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p>Disability activists abandon their wheelchairs and mobility devices and crawl up the 83 stone steps of the U.S. Capitol Building demanding the passage of the American with Disability Act, March 12, 1990.</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a35a786a2045712a08f79561f0f318e3/tumblr_navtbpzkLY1trybquo1_250.png"/></p>
<p>A south Korean man cries as his brother is on a train back to North Korea. Separated by the war, they have not seen the other since 1950. They were allowed to see each other for three days, but one will go back spending life in luxury, and the other in hard labour</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/e4136e9da3cc80696f43681b4fdc0787/tumblr_navtde709E1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p> The Mocambo night club in East Hollywood, a white’s only club, was the most popular dance spot around but would not book Ella because she was black. Marilyn, who adored Ella Fitzgerald and her music, called the manager and demanded that they book Ella immediately</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/0944caa066855235bd752ed175e6ee1e/tumblr_navtfdbZeX1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p>Portrait of Istvan Reiner, taken shortly before he was killed in Auschwitz</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/7805d019506e262b95bd34dba934e451/tumblr_navtn7F26M1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p>Werfel, a 6 year old orphan from Austria has just been given his first pair of new shoes by the American Red Cross,1946.</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/ae924960e160d3b89102896ac1b7b405/tumblr_navtui6raw1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p>The last Jew of Vinnitsa</p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/a380cf5d077e2f5410457087c897c25f/tumblr_navtwv8G5F1trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p><span>Until the mid-60s, the Aboriginals came under the Flora And Fauna Act, which classified them as animals, not human beings. This also meant that killing an Aboriginal meant you weren’t killing a human being, but an animal.</span></p>
<p><img alt="" src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/349a7d685b5edea3a91912d9d3c44faf/tumblr_navu29xlj91trybquo1_500.jpg"/></p>
<p>Here’s a link to <strong><a href="http://news.distractify.com/people/amazing/pictures-taken-in-past-10-years/?v=1">75 iconic pictures of the 21st century</a></strong></p>
<p>I hope you guys learned and teared up from this as much as I did. </p>
</blockquote>

<p>Until the 1969s?!?!? Holy dang&hellip;</p>

<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sixpenceee.com/post/95765932969/italian-special-force-soldier-after-72-hour-battle">sixpenceee</a>...

the passage: Name the proper method of murdering children, according to the bible. FAMILY STONE THEM TO DEATH Deuteronomy 21:21 DROWN THEM Matthew 18:6 21 | FATHERS SHOULD EAT SONS 8 Ezekiel 5:10 POISON THEM Deuteronomy 32:24 DASH THEM AGAINST STONES KILL THEM WITH DEATH Revelations 2:23 11 Psalms 137:9 SET FIRE TO THEM 10 STARVE THEM TO DEATH Lev 10:3 Lamentations 4:4 <p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/101601096550/this-is-intended-to-be-a-sort-of-gotcha-but" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is intended to be a sort of “gotcha,” but what this really is is gross misinterpretation.</p> <p>Let’s take what each of these verses actually say, shall we?  Then we will look at what they actually mean.</p> <p>Deuteronomy 21:21 as a verse itself can only be understood in the context of the other verses in the passage, so I will provide them here.</p> <p>Deuteronomy 21:18 - If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,</p> <p>21:19 - his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town.</p> <p>21:20 - They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.”</p> <p>21:21 - Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.</p> <p>A drunkard?  Now how many little kids do you know are guzzling alcohol?  Certainly not in that culture and time, at least.  So already we can get the sense that they’re most likely referring to adult children.  When we think of children in Western culture, we always assume young children, but technically, even if you’re 30 years old, you’re still your mother and father’s child, even though you are not <em>a</em> child in the eyes of the society in which you were raised.  But family ties were extremely significant to the Jewish people in the era of the Old Testament, specifically ties between parents and their progeny.</p> <p>It’s also important to note that the punishments for sin in the Old Testament were exclusive to the Jews in that time period.  It was a temporary theocracy system, and later, in the Book of Hebrews, Jesus tells His Jewish followers that they cannot follow Him and also make sacrifices and judgments according to Moses’ Law.  Jesus fulfilled the Law when He died on the cross.  That’s not to say that now we cannot send people to jail for murdering someone - simply that we are not bound by Moses’ Law.  The moral laws, such as loving your neighbor, not stealing, not lying, not being jealous of others, are timeless, but the actual legal/justice system in Moses’ Law was temporary.</p> <p>Matthew 18:6 - “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”</p> <p>Children in this case are referred to as Jesus’ followers in the context of this passage.  Jesus is using the example of children as a metaphor.  But even so, it doesn’t say that the <em>children</em> are the ones to get drowned - it’s those who influence them to do bad things.  And notice how he doesn’t say “you must drown them,” - he is saying that it would be <em>better</em> for them to drown than to cause one of God’s children to do bad things, like hatred against your fellow man, etc. etc.  Which implies that the spiritual consequences will be grave, since there are no earthly consequences for influencing a Christian to do bad.  So this passage doesn’t even <em>imply</em> punishing children at all, unless you’re going to do some huge nonsense mental acrobatics.</p> <p>Revelations 2:23 - I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.</p> <p>This is Jesus speaking exclusively about Jezebel’s children, if you read the previous verses.  Jezebel’s children were already adults before Jesus made this statement, in fact two of her sons had succeeded their father’s throne (one after the other, since the first son died), so they are completely responsible for their own deeds, good or bad.  Jezebel was a queen of Israel who called herself a prophet, but she did many evil, selfish things, trying to justify herself by saying she was doing right by God.  She believed a king had absolute power and could do whatever he wished because his word was law, even if he did bad.  She murdered several prophets (1 Kings 18:4) in an attempt to convert the Israelites to polytheism.  She also had a man stoned to death because he refused to sell his vineyard to her husband, the king (1 Kings 21:1-14).  So she wasn’t exactly the best person.</p> <p>Leviticus 10:3 - Moses then said to Aaron, “This is what the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> spoke of when he said: “ ‘Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.’ ” Aaron remained silent.</p> <p>I assume there was a mistake here, because this verse doesn’t refer to burning children whatsoever!  But if you read the previous verses, you find that who actually died were two of the sons of Aaron, the head priest.  They themselves were priests, and to be a priest at that time, you had to be around 30 years old.  So, again, old enough to be made accountable for your actions.</p> <p>Ezekiel 5:10 - Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.</p> <p>This is specifically a prophesy given the context of the passage, not a moral command.</p> <p>Ezekiel 5:5-10 - “This is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> says: This is Jerusalem, which I have set in the center of the nations, with countries all around her.</p> <p>&ldquo;Yet in her wickedness she has rebelled against my laws and decrees more than the nations and countries around her. She has rejected my laws and has not followed my decrees.</p> <p>“Therefore this is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen111">ORD</span> says: You have been more unruly than the nations around you and have not followed my decrees or kept my laws. You have not even conformed to the standards of the nations around you.</p> <p>&quot;Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again.</p> <p>Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.”</p> <p>It is clearly a prophesy of what the people of Israel would do when they turned their backs against God, which eventually happened in 2 Kings.  It is not a condoning of cannibalism, because the Bible repeatedly declares murder as an atrocious sin.<span>  Right after the declaration of prophesy, God states that Israel would be punished for doing such things.<br/></span></p> <p><span>Deuteronomy 32:24 - “</span>I will send wasting famine against them, consuming pestilence and deadly plague; I will send against them the fangs of wild beasts, the venom of vipers that glide in the dust.”</p> <p>This entire chapter (Deuteronomy 32) is dedicated to what would happen to Israel if they started doing evil things and turning their backs on God.  “Sons and daughters” tie in with the idea that when you are a follower of God, you are God’s son or daughter.  Just like when you’re 40, and your parents are still alive, you’re still their son or daughter.</p> <p>Psalms 137:9</p> <p>&quot;Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.&rdquo;</p> <p>Hmm!  Now this seems more direct, right?  Except it’s not.  This is from a short chapter of Psalms, so I’ll provide the other verses.</p> <p>Psalms 137:1-9</p> <p>&ldquo;By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.</p> <p>There on the poplars we hung our harps,</p> <p>for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”</p> <p>How can we sing the songs of the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> while in a foreign land?</p> <p>If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill.</p> <p>May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.</p> <p>Remember, L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen62">ORD</span>, what the Edomites did on the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its foundations!”</p> <p>Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us.</p> <p>Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”</p> <p>Since the writer of this Psalm (and the Psalms in general) is widely agreed to have been King David, taken into context with the entire chapter, Psalms 137:9 seems to be one part of David’s lamenting of his loss of Jerusalem.  It’s important to note that the Bible is not entirely made up of moral doctrines - it also tells a story, and gets into the hearts and minds of many different people.</p> <p>Anyone reading line 9, after having read the previous lines and indeed, most of the Psalms, would see that this line is just a ruler regretting the loss of his kingdom.</p> <p>Lamentations 4:4 - Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p> <p>Now, if you read the rest of the chapter, you will see that this too is a lamentation (hence the title, haha!).  This is not a moral command - this is an account of how the people of Israel are slacking in following up on God’s moral commands, and because of that, they are causing children to starve.  Read the first five verses together now:</p> <p>Lamentations 4:1-5</p> <p>&quot;How the gold has lost its luster, the fine gold become dull! The sacred gems are scattered at every street corner.</p> <p>&quot;How the precious children of Zion [Israel, essentially], once worth their weight in gold, are now considered as pots of clay, the work of a potter’s hands!</p> <p>&quot;Even jackals offer their breasts to nurse their young, but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.</p> <p>&quot;Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p> <p>&quot;Those who once ate delicacies are destitute in the streets. Those brought up in royal purple now lie on ash heaps.&rdquo;</p> <p>That line there - “but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.”  It is because of Israel’s degradation and refusal to consistently follow the moral commands given to them by God, that eventually, this situation came about.  The reason children are being starved is because the Israelites are not feeding them - they’re slacking off, basically.  This line, too, is not a moral command, then - it is the author recording the suffering of Israel because they stopped following their moral code, given to them by God.</p> <p>Now overall, what do all my explanations show you?  It shows you that some people will do anything to claim my faith is evil, even going so far as to completely ignore context - the very basics of literary hermeneutics - and instead cherry-pick verses that at first glance seem problematic, but deeper reading proves quite the opposite.</p></blockquote>
the passage: Name the proper method of murdering
 children, according to the bible.
 FAMILY
 STONE THEM TO DEATH
 Deuteronomy 21:21
 DROWN THEM
 Matthew 18:6
 21 |
 FATHERS SHOULD EAT SONS
 8
 Ezekiel 5:10
 POISON THEM
 Deuteronomy 32:24
 DASH THEM AGAINST STONES
 KILL THEM WITH DEATH
 Revelations 2:23
 11
 Psalms 137:9
 SET FIRE TO THEM 10
 STARVE THEM TO DEATH
 Lev 10:3
 Lamentations 4:4
<p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/101601096550/this-is-intended-to-be-a-sort-of-gotcha-but" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>This is intended to be a sort of “gotcha,” but what this really is is gross misinterpretation.</p>
<p>Let’s take what each of these verses actually say, shall we?  Then we will look at what they actually mean.</p>
<p>Deuteronomy 21:21 as a verse itself can only be understood in the context of the other verses in the passage, so I will provide them here.</p>
<p>Deuteronomy 21:18 - If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,</p>
<p>21:19 - his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town.</p>
<p>21:20 - They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.”</p>
<p>21:21 - Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.</p>
<p>A drunkard?  Now how many little kids do you know are guzzling alcohol?  Certainly not in that culture and time, at least.  So already we can get the sense that they’re most likely referring to adult children.  When we think of children in Western culture, we always assume young children, but technically, even if you’re 30 years old, you’re still your mother and father’s child, even though you are not <em>a</em> child in the eyes of the society in which you were raised.  But family ties were extremely significant to the Jewish people in the era of the Old Testament, specifically ties between parents and their progeny.</p>
<p>It’s also important to note that the punishments for sin in the Old Testament were exclusive to the Jews in that time period.  It was a temporary theocracy system, and later, in the Book of Hebrews, Jesus tells His Jewish followers that they cannot follow Him and also make sacrifices and judgments according to Moses’ Law.  Jesus fulfilled the Law when He died on the cross.  That’s not to say that now we cannot send people to jail for murdering someone - simply that we are not bound by Moses’ Law.  The moral laws, such as loving your neighbor, not stealing, not lying, not being jealous of others, are timeless, but the actual legal/justice system in Moses’ Law was temporary.</p>
<p>Matthew 18:6 - “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”</p>
<p>Children in this case are referred to as Jesus’ followers in the context of this passage.  Jesus is using the example of children as a metaphor.  But even so, it doesn’t say that the <em>children</em> are the ones to get drowned - it’s those who influence them to do bad things.  And notice how he doesn’t say “you must drown them,” - he is saying that it would be <em>better</em> for them to drown than to cause one of God’s children to do bad things, like hatred against your fellow man, etc. etc.  Which implies that the spiritual consequences will be grave, since there are no earthly consequences for influencing a Christian to do bad.  So this passage doesn’t even <em>imply</em> punishing children at all, unless you’re going to do some huge nonsense mental acrobatics.</p>
<p>Revelations 2:23 - I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.</p>
<p>This is Jesus speaking exclusively about Jezebel’s children, if you read the previous verses.  Jezebel’s children were already adults before Jesus made this statement, in fact two of her sons had succeeded their father’s throne (one after the other, since the first son died), so they are completely responsible for their own deeds, good or bad.  Jezebel was a queen of Israel who called herself a prophet, but she did many evil, selfish things, trying to justify herself by saying she was doing right by God.  She believed a king had absolute power and could do whatever he wished because his word was law, even if he did bad.  She murdered several prophets (1 Kings 18:4) in an attempt to convert the Israelites to polytheism.  She also had a man stoned to death because he refused to sell his vineyard to her husband, the king (1 Kings 21:1-14).  So she wasn’t exactly the best person.</p>
<p>Leviticus 10:3 - Moses then said to Aaron, “This is what the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> spoke of when he said: “ ‘Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.’ ” Aaron remained silent.</p>
<p>I assume there was a mistake here, because this verse doesn’t refer to burning children whatsoever!  But if you read the previous verses, you find that who actually died were two of the sons of Aaron, the head priest.  They themselves were priests, and to be a priest at that time, you had to be around 30 years old.  So, again, old enough to be made accountable for your actions.</p>

<p>Ezekiel 5:10 - Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.</p>
<p>This is specifically a prophesy given the context of the passage, not a moral command.</p>
<p>Ezekiel 5:5-10 - “This is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> says: This is Jerusalem, which I have set in the center of the nations, with countries all around her.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Yet in her wickedness she has rebelled against my laws and decrees more than the nations and countries around her. She has rejected my laws and has not followed my decrees.</p>
<p>“Therefore this is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen111">ORD</span> says: You have been more unruly than the nations around you and have not followed my decrees or kept my laws. You have not even conformed to the standards of the nations around you.</p>
<p>&quot;Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again.</p>
<p>Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.”</p>
<p>It is clearly a prophesy of what the people of Israel would do when they turned their backs against God, which eventually happened in 2 Kings.  It is not a condoning of cannibalism, because the Bible repeatedly declares murder as an atrocious sin.<span>  Right after the declaration of prophesy, God states that Israel would be punished for doing such things.<br/></span></p>
<p><span>Deuteronomy 32:24 - “</span>I will send wasting famine against them, consuming pestilence and deadly plague; I will send against them the fangs of wild beasts, the venom of vipers that glide in the dust.”</p>
<p>This entire chapter (Deuteronomy 32) is dedicated to what would happen to Israel if they started doing evil things and turning their backs on God.  “Sons and daughters” tie in with the idea that when you are a follower of God, you are God’s son or daughter.  Just like when you’re 40, and your parents are still alive, you’re still their son or daughter.</p>
<p>Psalms 137:9</p>
<p>&quot;Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Hmm!  Now this seems more direct, right?  Except it’s not.  This is from a short chapter of Psalms, so I’ll provide the other verses.</p>
<p>Psalms 137:1-9</p>
<p>&ldquo;By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.</p>
<p>There on the poplars we hung our harps,</p>
<p>for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”</p>
<p>How can we sing the songs of the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> while in a foreign land?</p>
<p>If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill.</p>
<p>May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.</p>
<p>Remember, L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen62">ORD</span>, what the Edomites did on the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its foundations!”</p>
<p>Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us.</p>
<p>Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”</p>
<p>Since the writer of this Psalm (and the Psalms in general) is widely agreed to have been King David, taken into context with the entire chapter, Psalms 137:9 seems to be one part of David’s lamenting of his loss of Jerusalem.  It’s important to note that the Bible is not entirely made up of moral doctrines - it also tells a story, and gets into the hearts and minds of many different people.</p>
<p>Anyone reading line 9, after having read the previous lines and indeed, most of the Psalms, would see that this line is just a ruler regretting the loss of his kingdom.</p>
<p>Lamentations 4:4 - Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p>
<p>Now, if you read the rest of the chapter, you will see that this too is a lamentation (hence the title, haha!).  This is not a moral command - this is an account of how the people of Israel are slacking in following up on God’s moral commands, and because of that, they are causing children to starve.  Read the first five verses together now:</p>
<p>Lamentations 4:1-5</p>
<p>&quot;How the gold has lost its luster, the fine gold become dull! The sacred gems are scattered at every street corner.</p>
<p>&quot;How the precious children of Zion [Israel, essentially], once worth their weight in gold, are now considered as pots of clay, the work of a potter’s hands!</p>
<p>&quot;Even jackals offer their breasts to nurse their young, but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.</p>
<p>&quot;Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p>
<p>&quot;Those who once ate delicacies are destitute in the streets. Those brought up in royal purple now lie on ash heaps.&rdquo;</p>
<p>That line there - “but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.”  It is because of Israel’s degradation and refusal to consistently follow the moral commands given to them by God, that eventually, this situation came about.  The reason children are being starved is because the Israelites are not feeding them - they’re slacking off, basically.  This line, too, is not a moral command, then - it is the author recording the suffering of Israel because they stopped following their moral code, given to them by God.</p>
<p>Now overall, what do all my explanations show you?  It shows you that some people will do anything to claim my faith is evil, even going so far as to completely ignore context - the very basics of literary hermeneutics - and instead cherry-pick verses that at first glance seem problematic, but deeper reading proves quite the opposite.</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/101601096550/this-is-intended-to-be-a-sort-of-gotcha-but" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</...

the passage: Your core values tell you "thou shalt not kill" but your killing machine says "Shut up God, this is 'Merica!" Pew pew <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://moofles.tumblr.com/post/41734084815/gop-tea-pub-proudgayconservative-well">moofles</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/41733882076/proudgayconservative-well-actually-it-says">gop-tea-pub</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proudgayconservative.tumblr.com/post/41731987426/well-actually-it-says-thou-shalt-not-murder-the">proudgayconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Well actually it says “thou shalt not murder”, the hebrew word does not translate as kill.</p> <p>There is a distinct difference between “kill” and “murder” even in our modern day legal system.</p> <p>If I kill a man who is attempting to murder or rape or rob me, that is not murder. That is self-defense. Which is exactly why (along with hunting and sports) that most gun owners own weapons.</p> <p>Congratulations for showing your stupidity again!</p> </blockquote> <h2>Exodus 22:2-3</h2> <p class="MsoQuote"><strong>Exodus 22:2-3</strong>  <sup>2</sup> “If the thief is found breaking in, and he is struck so that he dies, there shall be no guilt for his bloodshed.   <sup>3</sup> “<u>If the sun has risen on him</u>, there shall be guilt for his bloodshed.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">There are two cases here. In the first case, if someone breaks into your home at night, and you kill him, you are not held guilty of murder. You are not deserving of capital punishment. You do not need to flee to a city of refuge to preserve your life. The understanding is that at night, it is dark, and if someone has invaded your house, they do not announce if they are there merely to steal jewelry and tools. In the dark, you have no way of knowing if someone is coming to kidnap, to rape, or to murder. You are thus blameless if the criminal is killed in that situation. The passage does make it clear that if a man is breaking in at night with the intent of theft <em>or worse</em> (rape, murder, kidnapping, etc.), the defendant can righteously defend himself with lethal force to prevent the commission of the crime).  </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the second case, it says “if the sun has risen on him”, and you kill the intruder, you are guilty of his bloodshed.  The understanding is that in daytime, there is light, and you can discern the intentions of the home invader. The crime in question here is theft (“if the <strong>thief</strong>”). It is not legitimate to kill someone who is merely stealing your property. In creating civil laws, we see here that not all crimes are worthy of death.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In the daytime, it is assumed that the intention of the intruder can be discerned. If he is a thief, he may not be killed by the defendant. However, if the intruder is there to commit a different crime—assault, murder, kidnapping, rape, etc.—different laws/rules would apply. Though the crime of theft is not worthy of death, kidnapping was worthy of death (Exodus 21:16, Deut. 24:7) as was murder.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Matthew Henry writes: “…if it was in the day-time that the thief was killed, he that killed him must be accountable for it, unless it was in the necessary defense of his own life. … We ought to be tender of the lives even of bad men; the magistrate must afford us redress, and we must not avenge ourselves.” <br/><br/></p> <h1>Possession of weapons and skills with weapons a good and useful thing</h1> <p class="MsoNormal">Having looked at a number of passages that deal with weapons and self-defense, let’s spend a little time discussing Scripture’s view of owning weapons and being skilled in their use. The imagery of weapon use and skill at weapons use is often employed in Scripture, and it is often portrayed as a positive or desirable thing. The Lord’s might is something good, and it is often depicted using martial terms (Zec. 9:14, Psa. 7:13, 18:14, 21:12, 64:7, Hab. 3:11, Deu 32:42, 2 Sam 22:15). The Scriptures are a sword (Eph. 6:17; Heb 4:12). A sword comes out of the mouth of Christ (Rev. 1:16, 2:16, 19:15).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Possession of weapons is never discouraged in Scripture. In fact, in 1Sam 13:19ff, it is negatively reported that no spears or swords were found in Israel because of the Philistines:</p> <p class="MsoQuote"><strong>1 Samuel 13:19-22 </strong> <sup>9</sup> Now there was no blacksmith to be found throughout all the land of Israel, for the Philistines said, “Lest the Hebrews make swords or spears.”…  <sup>22</sup> So it came about, on the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people who were with Saul and Jonathan. But they were found with Saul and Jonathan his son.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Let’s look at two verses from the Psalms:</p> <p class="MsoQuote"><strong>Psalm 144:1</strong> Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:</p> <p class="MsoQuote"><strong>Psalm 18:34 </strong>He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Skill and ability to use weapons here, whether literal and/or metaphorical, is positively portrayed in these verses.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Further, we have accounts of David, not a soldier, not a law enforcement officer, but a youth, employing ranged weapons skillfully (with God’s help) against bears and lions. This is domestic use of lethal weaponry, non-military use, with non-military training. The weapons used by young David are not “kiddie” slingshots. They are powerful enough to kill a bear and lion—in today’s market, we’re talking about a .44 magnum, not a .22, in the hands of someone too young to be in the army.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We might be tempted to think that was just for dealing with animals that could threaten sheep. But aren’t <em>humans</em> worth even <em>more</em> protection than sheep?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We understand that according to Scripture, in matters not of worship or church government, whatever is not forbidden is permitted. I’m not making a claim that ownership of weaponry for the purpose of self-defense is <em>required </em>of the believer. It is not required, but it is <em>permitted</em> by Scripture.</p> <h2>Perspective</h2> <p class="MsoNormal">Fourthly and finally, keep the right perspective on this. Though we see sanction and even a qualified directive from Christ to possess personal weapons, we must remember three points. First, in the remainder of the New Testament, we have no further examples of believers taking up the sword. Secondly, the emphasis in the remainder of the New Testament is decidedly <em>not</em> geared toward the issues of physical self-defense or righteous use of lethal force. Rather, we see more emphasis on Godly living, suffering affliction and persecution for Christ, and grasping the precious doctrines of Christ and the Gospel.  Thirdly, possession of weapons and acquiring the skill to use them in self-defense is permitted but not <em>required</em> by Scripture.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Believers should be conscious that personal self-defense is legitimatized by the Scriptures, just as the use of construction tools, cooking tools, transportation tools are legitimized by Scripture. And these matters of self-defense should hold in our minds and in our affections the same position as those other legitimate, but transitory, matters.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The tendency in some circles is to make the topic of self-defense of <em>primary importance</em>. Though heavenly beings do battle and render judgments with the sword, in the perfection pictured in both the garden of Eden and in the Heavenly city, the <em>primary</em> activities are fellowship with God, fellowship with His people, singing in worship, and living in peace.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><em>That</em> is our destination.<br/><br/>And there ya go. The Biblical explanation in short. The Bible also states that we are to obey the laws of man.</p> <h3><a class="bibleref" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+13%3A1-5&amp;version=ESV">Romans 13:1-5</a><span class="note"> </span></h3> <p>Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. <br/><br/><br/>You asked for it with your little contrived picture. You got an answer I am sure you will try and construe. Try being the key word.<br/><br/>Check mate. Try again with a new game.</p> </blockquote> <p>oh <em>snap</em></p> </blockquote>
the passage: Your core values tell
 you "thou shalt not kill"
 but your killing
 machine says
 "Shut up God,
 this is 'Merica!"
 Pew pew
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://moofles.tumblr.com/post/41734084815/gop-tea-pub-proudgayconservative-well">moofles</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/41733882076/proudgayconservative-well-actually-it-says">gop-tea-pub</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proudgayconservative.tumblr.com/post/41731987426/well-actually-it-says-thou-shalt-not-murder-the">proudgayconservative</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Well actually it says “thou shalt not murder”, the hebrew word does not translate as kill.</p>
<p>There is a distinct difference between “kill” and “murder” even in our modern day legal system.</p>
<p>If I kill a man who is attempting to murder or rape or rob me, that is not murder. That is self-defense. Which is exactly why (along with hunting and sports) that most gun owners own weapons.</p>
<p>Congratulations for showing your stupidity again!</p>
</blockquote>
<h2>Exodus 22:2-3</h2>
<p class="MsoQuote"><strong>Exodus 22:2-3</strong>  <sup>2</sup> “If the thief is found breaking in, and he is struck so that he dies, there shall be no guilt for his bloodshed.   <sup>3</sup> “<u>If the sun has risen on him</u>, there shall be guilt for his bloodshed.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There are two cases here. In the first case, if someone breaks into your home at night, and you kill him, you are not held guilty of murder. You are not deserving of capital punishment. You do not need to flee to a city of refuge to preserve your life. The understanding is that at night, it is dark, and if someone has invaded your house, they do not announce if they are there merely to steal jewelry and tools. In the dark, you have no way of knowing if someone is coming to kidnap, to rape, or to murder. You are thus blameless if the criminal is killed in that situation. The passage does make it clear that if a man is breaking in at night with the intent of theft <em>or worse</em> (rape, murder, kidnapping, etc.), the defendant can righteously defend himself with lethal force to prevent the commission of the crime).  </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the second case, it says “if the sun has risen on him”, and you kill the intruder, you are guilty of his bloodshed.  The understanding is that in daytime, there is light, and you can discern the intentions of the home invader. The crime in question here is theft (“if the <strong>thief</strong>”). It is not legitimate to kill someone who is merely stealing your property. In creating civil laws, we see here that not all crimes are worthy of death.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the daytime, it is assumed that the intention of the intruder can be discerned. If he is a thief, he may not be killed by the defendant. However, if the intruder is there to commit a different crime—assault, murder, kidnapping, rape, etc.—different laws/rules would apply. Though the crime of theft is not worthy of death, kidnapping was worthy of death (Exodus 21:16, Deut. 24:7) as was murder.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Matthew Henry writes: “…if it was in the day-time that the thief was killed, he that killed him must be accountable for it, unless it was in the necessary defense of his own life. … We ought to be tender of the lives even of bad men; the magistrate must afford us redress, and we must not avenge ourselves.” <br/><br/></p>
<h1>Possession of weapons and skills with weapons a good and useful thing</h1>
<p class="MsoNormal">Having looked at a number of passages that deal with weapons and self-defense, let’s spend a little time discussing Scripture’s view of owning weapons and being skilled in their use. The imagery of weapon use and skill at weapons use is often employed in Scripture, and it is often portrayed as a positive or desirable thing. The Lord’s might is something good, and it is often depicted using martial terms (Zec. 9:14, Psa. 7:13, 18:14, 21:12, 64:7, Hab. 3:11, Deu 32:42, 2 Sam 22:15). The Scriptures are a sword (Eph. 6:17; Heb 4:12). A sword comes out of the mouth of Christ (Rev. 1:16, 2:16, 19:15).</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Possession of weapons is never discouraged in Scripture. In fact, in 1Sam 13:19ff, it is negatively reported that no spears or swords were found in Israel because of the Philistines:</p>
<p class="MsoQuote"><strong>1 Samuel 13:19-22 </strong> <sup>9</sup> Now there was no blacksmith to be found throughout all the land of Israel, for the Philistines said, “Lest the Hebrews make swords or spears.”…  <sup>22</sup> So it came about, on the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people who were with Saul and Jonathan. But they were found with Saul and Jonathan his son.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Let’s look at two verses from the Psalms:</p>
<p class="MsoQuote"><strong>Psalm 144:1</strong> Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight:</p>
<p class="MsoQuote"><strong>Psalm 18:34 </strong>He teaches my hands to make war, So that my arms can bend a bow of bronze</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Skill and ability to use weapons here, whether literal and/or metaphorical, is positively portrayed in these verses.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Further, we have accounts of David, not a soldier, not a law enforcement officer, but a youth, employing ranged weapons skillfully (with God’s help) against bears and lions. This is domestic use of lethal weaponry, non-military use, with non-military training. The weapons used by young David are not “kiddie” slingshots. They are powerful enough to kill a bear and lion—in today’s market, we’re talking about a .44 magnum, not a .22, in the hands of someone too young to be in the army.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We might be tempted to think that was just for dealing with animals that could threaten sheep. But aren’t <em>humans</em> worth even <em>more</em> protection than sheep?</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We understand that according to Scripture, in matters not of worship or church government, whatever is not forbidden is permitted. I’m not making a claim that ownership of weaponry for the purpose of self-defense is <em>required </em>of the believer. It is not required, but it is <em>permitted</em> by Scripture.</p>
<h2>Perspective</h2>
<p class="MsoNormal">Fourthly and finally, keep the right perspective on this. Though we see sanction and even a qualified directive from Christ to possess personal weapons, we must remember three points. First, in the remainder of the New Testament, we have no further examples of believers taking up the sword. Secondly, the emphasis in the remainder of the New Testament is decidedly <em>not</em> geared toward the issues of physical self-defense or righteous use of lethal force. Rather, we see more emphasis on Godly living, suffering affliction and persecution for Christ, and grasping the precious doctrines of Christ and the Gospel.  Thirdly, possession of weapons and acquiring the skill to use them in self-defense is permitted but not <em>required</em> by Scripture.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Believers should be conscious that personal self-defense is legitimatized by the Scriptures, just as the use of construction tools, cooking tools, transportation tools are legitimized by Scripture. And these matters of self-defense should hold in our minds and in our affections the same position as those other legitimate, but transitory, matters.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The tendency in some circles is to make the topic of self-defense of <em>primary importance</em>. Though heavenly beings do battle and render judgments with the sword, in the perfection pictured in both the garden of Eden and in the Heavenly city, the <em>primary</em> activities are fellowship with God, fellowship with His people, singing in worship, and living in peace.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><em>That</em> is our destination.<br/><br/>And there ya go. The Biblical explanation in short. The Bible also states that we are to obey the laws of man.</p>
<h3><a class="bibleref" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+13%3A1-5&amp;version=ESV">Romans 13:1-5</a><span class="note"> </span></h3>
<p>Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God’s wrath but also for the sake of conscience. <br/><br/><br/>You asked for it with your little contrived picture. You got an answer I am sure you will try and construe. Try being the key word.<br/><br/>Check mate. Try again with a new game.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>oh <em>snap</em></p>
</blockquote>

<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://moofles.tumblr.com/post/41734084815/gop-tea-pub-proudgayconservative-well">moofles</a>:</p> <block...