The Rock


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    The Rock: Dwyane the rock
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: Dwyane the rock
                
            

            
            
Dwyane the rock

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    The Rock: Dwyane the rock by SlothOwO
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                The Rock: Dwyane the rock by SlothOwO
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Dwyane the rock by SlothOwO
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    The Rock: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriendā€™s Shower Routine
SEATTLEā€”Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milsteinā€™s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
ā€œI guess at some point while sheā€™s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,ā€ said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was ā€œthe only possible conclusionā€ about the light-gray rock in his girlfriendā€™s bathroom. ā€œI mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But itā€™s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think itā€™s probably something she actually uses while under the water.ā€
ā€œI really donā€™t know how it all works,ā€ Ferris added. ā€œAll I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, thereā€™s a rock involved.ā€
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when heā€™s in Milsteinā€™s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriendā€™s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average personā€™s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
ā€œI tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,ā€ Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. ā€œI could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe Iā€™m wrong.ā€
ā€œThere is a chance it could be a hair thing,ā€ Ferris continued. ā€œMaybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I donā€™t know.ā€
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
ā€œIt could be for cleaning the bathtub,ā€ said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. ā€œLike every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.ā€
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
ā€œI wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when sheā€™s over here,ā€ said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their ā€œshower rocks.ā€ ā€œOr I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.ā€
ā€œIā€™m probably not going to do that,ā€ Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milsteinā€™s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.



    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriendā€™s Shower Routine
SEATTLEā€”Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milsteinā€™s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
ā€œI guess at some point while sheā€™s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,ā€ said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was ā€œthe only possible conclusionā€ about the light-gray rock in his girlfriendā€™s bathroom. ā€œI mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But itā€™s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think itā€™s probably something she actually uses while under the water.ā€
ā€œI really donā€™t know how it all works,ā€ Ferris added. ā€œAll I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, thereā€™s a rock involved.ā€
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when heā€™s in Milsteinā€™s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriendā€™s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average personā€™s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
ā€œI tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,ā€ Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. ā€œI could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe Iā€™m wrong.ā€
ā€œThere is a chance it could be a hair thing,ā€ Ferris continued. ā€œMaybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I donā€™t know.ā€
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
ā€œIt could be for cleaning the bathtub,ā€ said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. ā€œLike every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.ā€
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
ā€œI wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when sheā€™s over here,ā€ said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their ā€œshower rocks.ā€ ā€œOr I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.ā€
ā€œIā€™m probably not going to do that,ā€ Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milsteinā€™s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.



                
            

            
            
rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriendā€™s Shower Routine
SEATTLEā€”Saying he was confused about the full...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    The Rock: Damn straight! You canā€™t stop the rock! by notanannon
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: Damn straight! You canā€™t stop the rock! by notanannon
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Damn straight! You canā€™t stop the rock! by notanannon
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    The Rock: The Rock is the only black person I remember from the show by Bangbom18
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: The Rock is the only black person I remember from the show by Bangbom18
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
The Rock is the only black person I remember from the show by Bangbom18
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    The Rock: The Rock looks like a teeny little pebble next to pro basketball player Sun Mingming! #Memes #Dank #TheRock #SunMingming
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: The Rock looks like a teeny little pebble next to pro basketball player Sun Mingming! #Memes #Dank #TheRock #SunMingming
                
            

            
            
The Rock looks like a teeny little pebble next to pro basketball player Sun Mingming! #Memes #Dank #TheRock #SunMingming

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    The Rock: My fellow Special Olympics coaches and I dressed up as The Rock for a ā€œRock the Plungeā€ themed polar plunge benefiting Special Olympics Ohio
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: My fellow Special Olympics coaches and I dressed up as The Rock for a ā€œRock the Plungeā€ themed polar plunge benefiting Special Olympics Ohio
                
            

            
            
My fellow Special Olympics coaches and I dressed up as The Rock for a ā€œRock the Plungeā€ themed polar plunge benefiting Special Olympics Ohio

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    The Rock: My fellow Special Olympics coaches and I dressed up as The Rock for a ā€œRock the Plungeā€ themed polar plunge benefiting Special Olympics Ohio
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: My fellow Special Olympics coaches and I dressed up as The Rock for a ā€œRock the Plungeā€ themed polar plunge benefiting Special Olympics Ohio
                
            

            
            
My fellow Special Olympics coaches and I dressed up as The Rock for a ā€œRock the Plungeā€ themed polar plunge benefiting Special Olympics Ohio

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    The Rock: kaylapocalypse:
Ā okĀ 
so i know what youā€™re thinkingĀ ā€œoh i remember that scene i donā€™t need to click on the video to recall itā€. But you should. Likeā€¦ if youā€™re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrekĀ (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesnā€™t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.Ā 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being onlyĀ like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.Ā 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of ā€œPlease! Monster!ā€
Fionaā€™s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him aroundā€“strength that he disregards which is why hes surprisedĀ as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isnā€™t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the backgroundĀ 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Loreā„¢; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irlĀ not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring likeĀ ā€œyikesssssā€
shrekā€™s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into theĀ ā€œsaucy little maidā€ bit.Ā 
ā€œwhat hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.ā€Ā  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchangingĀ ā€œwtfā€ gestures.Ā 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrekā€™s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement likeĀ ā€œwow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unisonā€ which is additionally apart of the above long runningĀ joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.Ā 
The fight after isnā€™t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: kaylapocalypse:
Ā okĀ 
so i know what youā€™re thinkingĀ ā€œoh i remember that scene i donā€™t need to click on the video to recall itā€. But you should. Likeā€¦ if youā€™re anywhere near your mid-twenties, chances are that you watched shrekĀ (1) when you were a kid and maybe a few times again in your late teens, but your memory absolutely doesnā€™t do it justice.
The comedic timing through this whole movie is insane. Also, the fact that the animation style is aging literally just adds to the hilarity instead of poorly dating it. The nuance of every gesture is so well done and specific.Ā 
I am literally convinced that this movie is a masterpiece and that will be historically relevant maybe 100 years from now as a perfect time capsule of our culture.
This scene in particular illustrates it especially well; particularly for being onlyĀ like 1 minute long.
Highlights/Breakdown
The timing in the way Robin says savior and the way he says beast.Ā 
the character solidifying disregard and disrespect of ā€œPlease! Monster!ā€
Fionaā€™s sheer brute strength when she pokes him in the shoulder so hard it spins him aroundā€“strength that he disregards which is why hes surprisedĀ as hell when he gets his ass beat
Just the entire french accent that isnā€™t even a good french accent at all.
The accordion man in the tree, the prop bushes. that one of the prop bushes falls down to reveal that its a wood cut-out subtly in the backgroundĀ 
Shrek and fiona watching with horror as he begins his song. Donkey never cracking his excited smile, fully immersed in the Loreā„¢; which is actually part of a longer running joke through the film which is that occasionally when certain characters do things would be reacted to poorly irl, the surrounding characters react like you would if you saw that irlĀ not like characters in a story. Like instead of getting drawn into the lore of their circumstances they just stand there, staring likeĀ ā€œyikesssssā€
shrekā€™s exhaustion and impatience when the song goes into theĀ ā€œsaucy little maidā€ bit.Ā 
ā€œwhat hes basically saying is he likes to get paid.ā€Ā  the chaos of that statement. combined with shrek and fiona having a eye contact conversation above the performance, exchangingĀ ā€œwtfā€ gestures.Ā 
When the song escalates into a dance fight, Shrekā€™s exhaustion turns into general mounting amusement likeĀ ā€œwow is this really turning into a dance fight. wow hes really snapping in unisonā€ which is additionally apart of the above long runningĀ joke
Fiona interrupting robin with a kick.
the fuckin sound his head makes when it hits the rock.Ā 
The fight after isnā€™t as dynamic timing wise, just a classic animated fight scene but that song though. *kisses fingers like a chef*
Watching this does give me an appreciation for 2D animation though because say what you will but Cinderella has aged a lot better than Shrek in terms of visual quality.With 2D you get fairly consistent quality. With old 3D you get uncanny valley nightmares.
                
            

            
            
kaylapocalypse:
Ā okĀ 
so i know what youā€™re thinkingĀ ā€œoh i remember that scene i donā€™t need to click on the video to recall itā€. But you s...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    The Rock: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


Iā€™m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                The Rock: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


Iā€™m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I...