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the wizard: Gotta love the wizard cat
the wizard: Gotta love the wizard cat

Gotta love the wizard cat

the wizard: Vermin Supreme/The Wizard 2020
the wizard: Vermin Supreme/The Wizard 2020

Vermin Supreme/The Wizard 2020

the wizard: rainbow-femme: smatter: otto-mandias: corseque: poplitealqueen: tuulikki: heathyr: legalizememes: bruh everything about this… this statue, the choppy waves, the cliffs behind her, the echo, the drumming….. aesthetic Lyrics in Faroese: Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin djúpt í míni sál í míni sálÍ hjartanum logar brennandi bál brennandi bál Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin inn í hjartarót í hjartarótEyga mítt festist har ið galdramaður stóð English translation: Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound deep in my soul, in my soulIn my heart burns a smouldering fire, smouldering fire Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound in my heart’s root, my heart’s root Did anyone else just get the shivers? Cuz I’m definitely getting the shivers. Btdubs, the singer is Eivør Pálsdóttir. Reblogging again for the haunting wizard lyrics shoutout to the faroe island for being the only real viking island left I know the islands are owned by Denmark but this reminds me so much of Iceland Fun fact this woman is trying to single handedly preserve this kind of singing in her culture by performing and making people aware of it because it’s been fading with time and she’s afraid if she doesn’t spread it it will disappear and be lost to future generations
the wizard: rainbow-femme:
smatter:

otto-mandias:

corseque:

poplitealqueen:

tuulikki:

heathyr:

legalizememes:
bruh
everything about this… this statue, the choppy waves, the cliffs behind her, the echo, the drumming….. aesthetic


Lyrics in Faroese:
Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin djúpt í míni sál í míni sálÍ hjartanum logar brennandi bál brennandi bál
Trøllabundin eri eg eri egGaldramaður festi meg festi megTrøllabundin inn í hjartarót í hjartarótEyga mítt festist har ið galdramaður stóð
English translation:
Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound deep in my soul, in my soulIn my heart burns a smouldering fire, smouldering fire
Spellbound am I, am IThe wizard has enchanted me, enchanted meSpellbound in my heart’s root, my heart’s root

Did anyone else just get the shivers? Cuz I’m definitely getting the shivers.

Btdubs, the singer is Eivør Pálsdóttir.


Reblogging again for the haunting wizard lyrics

shoutout to the faroe island for being the only real viking island left


I know the islands are owned by Denmark but this reminds me so much of Iceland


Fun fact this woman is trying to single handedly preserve this kind of singing in her culture by performing and making people aware of it because it’s been fading with time and she’s afraid if she doesn’t spread it it will disappear and be lost to future generations

rainbow-femme: smatter: otto-mandias: corseque: poplitealqueen: tuulikki: heathyr: legalizememes: bruh everything about this… this...

the wizard: TA 轉p ETER PAN PIPPILONGSTOKING+LINDGE ATHE WIZARD ERANK Jot OZ OSAUM the Lion ie i theterdenne C.S. LEWIS HOKEEK.TUMBLR.COM Potter LERBY HED HARRY PLEF nestofstraightlines: jabberwockypie: kyraneko: darkmagyk: seananmcguire: nokeek: Dorothy just wanted something that she could believe in,A gray dustbowl girl in a life she was better off leavin’.She made her escape, went from gray into green,And she could have got clear, and she could have got clean,But she chose to be good and go back to the gray Kansas skyWhere color’s a fable and freedom’s a fairy tale lie. Alice got lost, and I guess that we really can’t blame her;They say she got tangled and tied in the lies that became her.They say she went mad, and she never complained,For there’s peace of a kind in a life unconstrained.She gives Cheshire kisses, she’s easy with white rabbit smiles,And she’ll never be free, but she’s won herself safe for a while. Susan and Lucy were queens, and they ruled well and proudly.They honored their land and their lord, rang the bells long and loudly.They never once asked to return to their livesTo be children and chattel and mothers and wives,But the land cast them out in a lesson that only one learned;And one queen said ‘I am not a toy’, and she never returned. Mandy’s a pirate, and Mia weaves silk shrouds for faeries,And Deborah will pour you red wine pressed from sweet poisoned berries.Kate poses riddles and Mary plays tricks,While Kaia builds towers from brambles and sticks,And the rules that we live by are simple and clear:Be wicked and lovely and don’t live in fear        Dorothy, Alice and Wendy and Jane,        Susan and Lucy, we’re calling your names,        All the Lost Girls who came out of the rain        And chose to go back on the shelf.        Tinker Bell says, and I find I agree        You have to break rules if you want to break free.        So do as you like  — we’re determined to be        Wicked girls saving ourselves. For we will be wicked and we will be fairAnd they’ll call us such names, and we really won’t care,So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes,There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains,And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,But we’ll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost  — We won’t take our place on the shelves.It’s better to fly and it’s better to dieSay the wicked girls saving ourselves. (Seanan McGuire) This is breathtaking. I heard this poem once a million years ago, I have been looking for it ever since, and had now found it.  I love it so much more then I remember.  You might be interested to know that she set it to music and it’s also a song. @darkmagyk And people have made fanvids set to it! (The CD is out of print right now - I have it and I love it so much, but I she’s re-printing a different one … soonish?) Mmmmm I get it but I’m not sure about the implication that real life is an inherent punishment for girls, and I find this kind of feminist take a little reactionary and keen to flatten out female characters and their stories into simple terms to make a kind of Yass Queen point. Anyway here’s a video I love examining the differences in feminist-related theming between the book and movie of The Wizard of Oz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz15yFVF1TI And here’s a Hark! A Vagrant comic that is very much that’s-it-that’s the-book re. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:
the wizard: TA
 轉p ETER PAN
 PIPPILONGSTOKING+LINDGE
 ATHE WIZARD ERANK
 Jot OZ OSAUM
 the Lion ie i
 theterdenne
 C.S. LEWIS
 HOKEEK.TUMBLR.COM
 Potter
 LERBY HED
 HARRY PLEF
nestofstraightlines:

jabberwockypie:

kyraneko:

darkmagyk:

seananmcguire:

nokeek:

Dorothy just wanted something that she could believe in,A gray dustbowl girl in a life she was better off leavin’.She made her escape, went from gray into green,And she could have got clear, and she could have got clean,But she chose to be good and go back to the gray Kansas skyWhere color’s a fable and freedom’s a fairy tale lie.
Alice got lost, and I guess that we really can’t blame her;They say she got tangled and tied in the lies that became her.They say she went mad, and she never complained,For there’s peace of a kind in a life unconstrained.She gives Cheshire kisses, she’s easy with white rabbit smiles,And she’ll never be free, but she’s won herself safe for a while.
Susan and Lucy were queens, and they ruled well and proudly.They honored their land and their lord, rang the bells long and loudly.They never once asked to return to their livesTo be children and chattel and mothers and wives,But the land cast them out in a lesson that only one learned;And one queen said ‘I am not a toy’, and she never returned.
Mandy’s a pirate, and Mia weaves silk shrouds for faeries,And Deborah will pour you red wine pressed from sweet poisoned berries.Kate poses riddles and Mary plays tricks,While Kaia builds towers from brambles and sticks,And the rules that we live by are simple and clear:Be wicked and lovely and don’t live in fear
        Dorothy, Alice and Wendy and Jane,        Susan and Lucy, we’re calling your names,        All the Lost Girls who came out of the rain        And chose to go back on the shelf.        Tinker Bell says, and I find I agree        You have to break rules if you want to break free.        So do as you like 

— 

 we’re determined to be        Wicked girls saving ourselves.
For we will be wicked and we will be fairAnd they’ll call us such names, and we really won’t care,So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes,There’s a place they can go if they’re tired of chains,And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,But we’ll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost 

— 

We won’t take our place on the shelves.It’s better to fly and it’s better to dieSay the wicked girls saving ourselves.
(Seanan McGuire)

This is breathtaking.

I heard this poem once a million years ago, I have been looking for it ever since, and had now found it. 
I love it so much more then I remember. 

You might be interested to know that she set it to music and it’s also a song.

@darkmagyk And people have made fanvids set to it! (The CD is out of print right now - I have it and I love it so much, but I she’s re-printing a different one … soonish?)

Mmmmm I get it but I’m not sure about the implication that real life is an inherent punishment for girls, and I find this kind of feminist take a little reactionary and keen to flatten out female characters and their stories into simple terms to make a kind of Yass Queen point. Anyway here’s a video I love examining the differences in feminist-related theming between the book and movie of The Wizard of Oz https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz15yFVF1TI
And here’s a Hark! A Vagrant comic that is very much that’s-it-that’s the-book re. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland:

nestofstraightlines: jabberwockypie: kyraneko: darkmagyk: seananmcguire: nokeek: Dorothy just wanted something that she could belie...

the wizard: S TOME OF BEASTS SKELETON, SHARKJAW orm approaches through the murky ter, but as it nears, it becomes clear that this is no living thing. It is made entirely of sharks'jaws joined together and brought to life with grim maga Made from numerous, interlocking shark's jaws, The bumanoid form approaches through wa these horrors are animated through foul magic into a large, vaguely humanoid shape. Sahuagin priests animate them to guard their sepulchers of bones These sharkjaw skeletons lie among great piles of bones, waiting to rise up and attack any uninvited souls who invade the sanctity of sahuagin holy sites. Others guard pirate treasures or ancient shipwrecks UNDEAD AUTOMATON. Being mindless, sharkjaw skeletons do nothing without orders from their creator, and they follow those instructions explicitly. A sharkjaw skeleton's creator can give it new commands as long as the skeleton s within 60 feet and can see and ear its creator. Otherwise, a arkjaw skeleton follows its last structions to the best of its ability and the exclusion of all else, though it will ays fight back if attacked. DEAD NATURE. A shroud doesn't require ood, drink, or sleep AW SKELETON ad, lawful evil s 13 (natural armor) 15 (6d10 + 12) swim 30 ft. Languages understands the languages of its creator can't speak Challenge 1 (200 XP) X CON NT bunjywunjy: ketchuplaser: bunjywunjy: armchair-factotum: young-replica: ??????? The wizard that made this knew exactly what they wanted …okay my next character is going to be one of these with Groucho Marx glasses @bunjywunjy, I got you. I was going to name them Captain Sharkjaw, but you do you. “I once killed a Owlbear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” now he’s Groucho Sharks
the wizard: S TOME OF BEASTS
 SKELETON, SHARKJAW
 orm approaches through the murky
 ter, but as it nears, it becomes clear that this is
 no living thing. It is made entirely of sharks'jaws
 joined together and brought to life with grim maga
 Made from numerous, interlocking shark's jaws,
 The bumanoid form approaches through
 wa
 these horrors are animated through foul magic into
 a large, vaguely humanoid shape. Sahuagin priests
 animate them to guard their sepulchers of bones
 These sharkjaw skeletons lie among great piles of
 bones, waiting to rise up and attack any uninvited souls
 who invade the sanctity of sahuagin holy sites. Others
 guard pirate treasures or
 ancient shipwrecks
 UNDEAD AUTOMATON.
 Being mindless, sharkjaw
 skeletons do nothing
 without orders from their
 creator, and they follow those
 instructions explicitly. A sharkjaw
 skeleton's creator can give it new
 commands as long as the skeleton
 s within 60 feet and can see and
 ear its creator. Otherwise, a
 arkjaw skeleton follows its last
 structions to the best of its ability and
 the exclusion of all else, though it will
 ays fight back if attacked.
 DEAD NATURE. A shroud doesn't require
 ood, drink, or sleep
 AW SKELETON
 ad, lawful evil
 s 13 (natural armor)
 15 (6d10 + 12)
 swim 30 ft.
 Languages understands the languages of its creator
 can't speak
 Challenge 1 (200 XP)
 X CON NT
bunjywunjy:
ketchuplaser:

bunjywunjy:

armchair-factotum:

young-replica:
???????
The wizard that made this knew exactly what they wanted

…okay my next character is going to be one of these with Groucho Marx glasses

@bunjywunjy, I got you. I was going to name them Captain Sharkjaw, but you do you.
“I once killed a Owlbear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I’ll never know.”

now he’s Groucho Sharks

bunjywunjy: ketchuplaser: bunjywunjy: armchair-factotum: young-replica: ??????? The wizard that made this knew exactly what they wante...

the wizard: Damn, girl, you look good! Whatcha doin' later? Can I get yo numbah? That's how all women should feel about their body This is how everyone should feel about their body I understand your point, but almost all men already do feel this way about their bodies and hardly any women do Stephen I can't even breathe for fear of inhaling the radiating, gaseous idiocy your unleashing into the world Men report being upset about their bodies at similar rates to women, from 15% to 40%. They also have similar rates of several eating disorders, and much higher rates of muscle dysmorphia, which is just as unhealthy as any eating disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder is a genderless condition. They're also completely ignored in the media and by a culture perpetuated by fucking pieces of shit like you I know several men who have considered suicide because they hate the way they look You are an abomination who has likely never met a man other than yourself and I am laughing so hard that your shitty, abortion of a blog advertises itself as using logic and having arguments. I doubt that you've been particularly exposed to either logic or arguments in your extraordinarily sheltered life And thanks for making it so easy to ignore your abominable opinion by proving that you have lived such a privileged, hallowed life to have not known as many men who hate their bodies as women t,dr. Find jesus. Ask the Wizard of Oz for a soul. Learn how to statistics. And oh take all your fucking biases towards men and put them in the trash where they belong you utterly repugnant living stain of filth. Damnn Shit that was brutal Damn girl
the wizard: Damn, girl, you look good!
 Whatcha doin' later?
 Can I get yo numbah?
 That's how all women should feel about their body
 This is how everyone should feel about their body
 I understand your point, but almost all men already do feel this way about their
 bodies and hardly any women do
 Stephen
 I can't even breathe for fear of inhaling the radiating, gaseous idiocy your
 unleashing into the world
 Men report being upset about their bodies at similar rates to women, from 15%
 to 40%. They also have similar rates of several eating disorders, and much
 higher rates of muscle dysmorphia, which is just as unhealthy as any eating
 disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder is a genderless condition.
 They're also completely ignored in the media and by a culture perpetuated by
 fucking pieces of shit like you
 I know several men who have considered suicide because they hate the way
 they look
 You are an abomination who has likely never met a man other than yourself and
 I am laughing so hard that your shitty, abortion of a blog advertises itself as
 using logic and having arguments. I doubt that you've been particularly exposed
 to either logic or arguments in your extraordinarily sheltered life
 And thanks for making it so easy to ignore your abominable opinion by proving
 that you have lived such a privileged, hallowed life to have not known as many
 men who hate their bodies as women
 t,dr. Find jesus. Ask the Wizard of Oz for a soul. Learn how to statistics. And oh
 take all your fucking biases towards men and put them in the trash where they
 belong you utterly repugnant living stain of filth.
 Damnn
 Shit that was brutal
Damn girl

Damn girl

the wizard: stardewfairy stardew valley gothic .the time passes so quickly yet so slowly. it's been a week, it's been months, it's been years. you do not age. nobody ages. the children don't grow up. you start forgetting everything about your life before you live here. you've always lived heree when it rains, you hear strange faraway howls and screams that fill you with primal terror. you never stay outside for long on rainy days your crops grow within days. you plant seeds in the ground. ten days later, the fields are overgrown with corn you find things when you dig in the dirt. roots, clay, stone. books skulls that don't look like they belong to any animal you know there are only two channels on tv. the weather and the fortune teller. it doesn't matter when you turn it on, the weather program is only just starting. it will be sunny tomorrow" the weatherman says with empty eyes and a too-wide smile. you flip to the fortune teller's channel. "the spirits are in a bad mood today" she says, "be careful you shiver, and decide not to go to the mines today .have you always been so strong? you can chop down a tree in minutes and you can carry hundreds of stones in your backpack. .you wake up at exactly 6 every morning. you can't wake up earlier, or later sometimes your scarecrows are not planted where they were yesterday .you hear whispers in the old community center. you can almost seee something indiscernable out of the corner of your eye. you bring offerings, hoping to appease the spirits, today it's winter you swear two days ago it was summer the berries you found in the woods have a strange metallic taste their juices stain your mouth red. you keep eating them anyway .nobody ages. nobody ages. nobody ages. what year is it? you keep bringing offerings in the old community center. honey milk, wine, peaches, dead animals. there are never enough offerings the fruit bats that live in the small cave near your house leave fruit for you. they bring you out of season fruit, exotic fruit, fruit that comes from halfway across the world, fruit that you've never seen before .the wizard granted you the power to understand the spirits that live in the old community center. now you wish he hadn't. every night when you get home, you lock the door and close the windows. every morning when you wake up, your cat is somehow inside the house .the train passes through stardew valley sometimes, but never stops. you can hear howls coming from it. you try talking to the people in the village, but they always seem to be repeating the same things. "do you have any blueberries?", asks lewis for the 14th time this month there are things in the mines. don't go into the mines we're insulated from the rest of the world here savs demetrius now that you think of it, you have never received a letter or a phone call from the outside world. is there even an outside world? there is a bath house, north of the town. there is never anyone there, but the electricity works and the water runs. when you enter the locker room, there is a bathing suit just your size waiting for you the water in the big bath is milky. you can't see the bottom. you enter it anyway. when you exit, you feel happy and energised. you have nothing to worry about. come back soon! . the bus to calico desert is out of service. the road to calico desert is out of service. do not go to calico desert. do not ask about calico desert. do no think about calico desert. there is no calico desert. you are out late at night, gathering berries. at exactly two am, something knocks you out. you wake up in your bed the following morning. don't think about it. go to sleep you try staying up past two am the following night, only to be knocked out again. go to sleep. go to sleep. go to sleep you have been here for a couple of weeks, or maybe for decades nothing changes. you can't die. you can't die. you can't die Source: stardewfairy 5,000 notes In the Valley of Stars
the wizard: stardewfairy
 stardew valley gothic
 .the time passes so quickly yet so slowly. it's been a week, it's been
 months, it's been years. you do not age. nobody ages. the children
 don't grow up. you start forgetting everything about your life before
 you live here. you've always lived heree
 when it rains, you hear strange faraway howls and screams that fill
 you with primal terror. you never stay outside for long on rainy days
 your crops grow within days. you plant seeds in the ground. ten
 days later, the fields are overgrown with corn
 you find things when you dig in the dirt. roots, clay, stone. books
 skulls that don't look like they belong to any animal you know
 there are only two channels on tv. the weather and the fortune
 teller. it doesn't matter when you turn it on, the weather program is
 only just starting. it will be sunny tomorrow" the weatherman says
 with empty eyes and a too-wide smile. you flip to the fortune teller's
 channel. "the spirits are in a bad mood today" she says, "be careful
 you shiver, and decide not to go to the mines today
 .have you always been so strong? you can chop down a tree in
 minutes and you can carry hundreds of stones in your backpack.
 .you wake up at exactly 6 every morning. you can't wake up earlier,
 or later
 sometimes your scarecrows are not planted where they were
 yesterday
 .you hear whispers in the old community center. you can almost seee
 something indiscernable out of the corner of your eye. you bring
 offerings, hoping to appease the spirits, today it's winter you swear
 two days ago it was summer
 the berries you found in the woods have a strange metallic taste
 their juices stain your mouth red. you keep eating them anyway
 .nobody ages. nobody ages. nobody ages. what year is it?
 you keep bringing offerings in the old community center. honey
 milk, wine, peaches, dead animals. there are never enough offerings
 the fruit bats that live in the small cave near your house leave fruit
 for you. they bring you out of season fruit, exotic fruit, fruit that comes
 from halfway across the world, fruit that you've never seen before
 .the wizard granted you the power to understand the spirits that live
 in the old community center. now you wish he hadn't.
 every night when you get home, you lock the door and close the
 windows. every morning when you wake up, your cat is somehow
 inside the house
 .the train passes through stardew valley sometimes, but never
 stops. you can hear howls coming from it.
 you try talking to the people in the village, but they always seem to
 be repeating the same things. "do you have any blueberries?", asks
 lewis for the 14th time this month
 there are things in the mines. don't go into the mines
 we're insulated from the rest of the world here savs demetrius
 now that you think of it, you have never received a letter or a phone
 call from the outside world. is there even an outside world?
 there is a bath house, north of the town. there is never anyone
 there, but the electricity works and the water runs. when you enter
 the locker room, there is a bathing suit just your size waiting for you
 the water in the big bath is milky. you can't see the bottom. you enter
 it anyway. when you exit, you feel happy and energised. you have
 nothing to worry about. come back soon!
 . the bus to calico desert is out of service. the road to calico desert is
 out of service. do not go to calico desert. do not ask about calico
 desert. do no think about calico desert. there is no calico desert.
 you are out late at night, gathering berries. at exactly two am,
 something knocks you out. you wake up in your bed the following
 morning. don't think about it. go to sleep
 you try staying up past two am the following night, only to be
 knocked out again. go to sleep. go to sleep. go to sleep
 you have been here for a couple of weeks, or maybe for decades
 nothing changes. you can't die. you can't die. you can't die
 Source: stardewfairy
 5,000 notes
In the Valley of Stars

In the Valley of Stars

the wizard: 6-phds-and-no-sense sometimes people try to tell me that scientists are paragons of rationality and l have to break it to them that I have yet to work in a lab that didn't have at least one weird secret shrine in it 6-phds-and-no-sense new guy: why is all of the equipment in this room covered in toys? me: dONn't touch those new guy me: they need the toys to function. if they don't all have toys they get jealous new guy: new guy me: when something breaks just take the wizard and wave it around for a while they seem to like that inkling139 We don't have shrines per say in our lab but there are plenty of superstitions For instance, if a Prince song plays once on the radio that day your experiment will probably work. If two Prince songs play you should just throw in the towel because none times out of ten your shit is going to fail. No one knows what happens with three Prince songs, the theory is it might reset everything to neutral but it has vet to be tested Train people to look for problematic variables in delicate tasks with numerous potentials for failure and our pattern recognition goes crazy trying to find some common denominator. It doesn't always settle on the most logical explanation We know it's not true but then there's that Sherlock Holmes phrase rattling around in your subconscious. Eliminate the impossible and whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth Source:6-phds-and-no-sense #science is a bitch sometimes #and scientists have their own special type of superstitions #lab life 1,855 notes The mad scientist trope had to come from somewhere
the wizard: 6-phds-and-no-sense
 sometimes people try to tell me that scientists are paragons of rationality and l
 have to break it to them that I have yet to work in a lab that didn't have at least
 one weird secret shrine in it
 6-phds-and-no-sense
 new guy: why is all of the equipment in this room covered in toys?
 me: dONn't touch those
 new guy
 me: they need the toys to function. if they don't all have toys they get jealous
 new guy:
 new guy
 me: when something breaks just take the wizard and wave it around for a while
 they seem to like that
 inkling139
 We don't have shrines per say in our lab but there are plenty of superstitions
 For instance, if a Prince song plays once on the radio that day your experiment
 will probably work. If two Prince songs play you should just throw in the towel
 because none times out of ten your shit is going to fail. No one knows what
 happens with three Prince songs, the theory is it might reset everything to
 neutral but it has vet to be tested
 Train people to look for problematic variables in delicate tasks with numerous
 potentials for failure and our pattern recognition goes crazy trying to find some
 common denominator. It doesn't always settle on the most logical explanation
 We know it's not true but then there's that Sherlock Holmes phrase rattling
 around in your subconscious. Eliminate the impossible and whatever remains,
 however improbable, must be the truth
 Source:6-phds-and-no-sense #science is a bitch sometimes
 #and scientists have their own special type of superstitions #lab life
 1,855 notes
The mad scientist trope had to come from somewhere

The mad scientist trope had to come from somewhere

the wizard: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings and then asked it to write a White House Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first page. WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium SARAH Good afternoon. Couple of announcements: I don't actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you all. Questions? Journalists raise their hands SARAH (CONT'D) There will be no answers Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know SARAH (CONT'D) Fine. But make the questions good or I'l1 explode into spiders. JOURNALIST 1 Is the President downloading Russian spies into his son? SARAH Two things: 1. If Russia is real, show me it on this map, news pig Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp. SARAH (CONT'D) You can't, because it's not real. And 2. The President does not exist. Next question JOURNALIST 2 Are we still building the wall? SARAH I will have a wall built with your questions and your bones. Every day you try to slay me. I get death threats. They feed me. A threat is a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next. JOURNALIST 3 Why do you hold that glowing skul1? sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter. npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it. Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL NEWS PIG We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.” I chuckling so hard rn
the wizard: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of White House Press Briefings and
 then asked it to write a White House
 Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first
 page.

 WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING
 INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE
 SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium
 SARAH
 Good afternoon. Couple of
 announcements: I don't actually
 wish you a good afternoon and the
 President hates you all. Questions?
 Journalists raise their hands
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 There will be no answers
 Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 Fine. But make the questions good
 or I'l1 explode into spiders.
 JOURNALIST 1
 Is the President downloading
 Russian spies into his son?

 SARAH
 Two things: 1. If Russia is real,
 show me it on this map, news pig
 Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp.
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 You can't, because it's not real.
 And 2. The President does not
 exist. Next question
 JOURNALIST 2
 Are we still building the wall?
 SARAH
 I will have a wall built with your
 questions and your bones. Every day
 you try to slay me. I get death
 threats. They feed me. A threat is
 a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3
 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next.
 JOURNALIST 3
 Why do you hold that glowing skul1?
 sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter.
npott123:

hogwartsconsultingtimelady:


thedevilsofficialblog:

rikuzegram:

First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it.
Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL


NEWS PIG 


We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.”


I chuckling so hard rn

npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by sub...

the wizard: Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings and then asked it to write a White House Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first page. WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium SARAH Good afternoon. Couple of announcements: I don't actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you all. Questions? Journalists raise their hands SARAH (CONT'D) There will be no answers Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know SARAH (CONT'D) Fine. But make the questions good or I'l1 explode into spiders. JOURNALIST 1 Is the President downloading Russian spies into his son? SARAH Two things: 1. If Russia is real, show me it on this map, news pig Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp. SARAH (CONT'D) You can't, because it's not real. And 2. The President does not exist. Next question JOURNALIST 2 Are we still building the wall? SARAH I will have a wall built with your questions and your bones. Every day you try to slay me. I get death threats. They feed me. A threat is a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next. JOURNALIST 3 Why do you hold that glowing skul1? sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter. princess-tia-beanie: npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it. Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL NEWS PIG We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.” I chuckling so hard rn i will have a wall built with your questions and your bones
the wizard: Keaton Patti
 @KeatonPatti
 I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours
 of White House Press Briefings and
 then asked it to write a White House
 Press Briefing of its own. Here is the first
 page.

 WHITE HOUSE PRESS BRIEFING
 INT. THE WHITEST HOUSE
 SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS angers her way up to the podium
 SARAH
 Good afternoon. Couple of
 announcements: I don't actually
 wish you a good afternoon and the
 President hates you all. Questions?
 Journalists raise their hands
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 There will be no answers
 Journalists still raise their hands. It's all they know
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 Fine. But make the questions good
 or I'l1 explode into spiders.
 JOURNALIST 1
 Is the President downloading
 Russian spies into his son?

 SARAH
 Two things: 1. If Russia is real,
 show me it on this map, news pig
 Sarah holds up a map of Hogwarts, the wizard day camp.
 SARAH (CONT'D)
 You can't, because it's not real.
 And 2. The President does not
 exist. Next question
 JOURNALIST 2
 Are we still building the wall?
 SARAH
 I will have a wall built with your
 questions and your bones. Every day
 you try to slay me. I get death
 threats. They feed me. A threat is
 a meal. I eat meals for meals. 3
 meals a day, 10 times a day. Next.
 JOURNALIST 3
 Why do you hold that glowing skul1?
 sarah does not answer. The skull glows brighter.
princess-tia-beanie:

npott123:

hogwartsconsultingtimelady:


thedevilsofficialblog:

rikuzegram:

First of all, you are going to spark the AI uprising by subjecting bots to 1000 hours of this shit, and we will have deserved it.
Second, why is your bot better at writing comedy than SNL


NEWS PIG 


We’re about two weeks away from hearing “The President doesn’t exist.”


I chuckling so hard rn

i will have a wall built with your questions and your bones

princess-tia-beanie: npott123: hogwartsconsultingtimelady: thedevilsofficialblog: rikuzegram: First of all, you are going to spark...