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Baked, Bless Up, and Booty: Saw this good boy waiting outside a bakers for his human in Rosyth, Scotland Pic: reddit u/MacSquizzy @ DrSmashlove Men as I told y’all if u lay pipe skillfully and dutifully to a pretty ting, she might fvck around and bake for u. Just like placing the hands to the throat is the international sign for “I’m choking” (also the international sign for “choke me daddy” 😬), handing a man a container full of fresh baked cookies or fudge lets him know u felt the D in your soul 💕. Sometimes a lady will give u the cookies in plastic Tupperware. Always a wonderful touch. This says: “here is some reusable Tupperware, daddy. Remember me when you order Thai food and need somewhere to store your leftover pad Thai 😌.” But see some of u ladies wanna go the extra mile. This type of lady wanna give u them warm, chewy cookies in one of them extremely classy glass containers with a plastic lid. One of them Pyrex or Anchor Hocking joints. This ain’t just about cookies bruv. This is an entirely different statement. She giving u a high grade reusable container that u can use over and over. U can heat up some soup in there. Throw some veggies in there for an afternoon snack. U feel me? There are Myriad uses for this wondrous technology bruv. This a bold statement. She improving yo life. She saying “thank you for the pipe daddy, you upgraded my Punani, so in return I’m gonna upgrade your entire existence. I opened your fridge and saw you storing leftovers in a Cool Whip container, that’s no way to live daddy 😌 here’s something that will give your leftovers better flavor 🤗.” Bam. Now every time u use it, u think of how she low key upgraded you. Now I’m not saying u ladies owe a man this type of sweetness just for good D. Shiiiiiit u DESERVE good D! That’s off the top! A man shouldn’t be rewarded for merely performing his Duty To The Thee Booty! But if he do, and if u bequeath uponst him Thee Glassware, just know that he gon love both the cookies and the container and the fondness in his heart will only increase. A lot of these men out here was raised by wolves. If he fulfilling his duties as yo daddy, it don’t hurt to be his mommy 🤗 TheresNoHopeForOurGenerarion 😂 p.s. ALWAYS OFFER TO RETURN IT - IF SHE TAKE IT BACK, U JUST A SIDE PIECE. TEMPORARY TUPPERWARE = TEMPORARY D, BLESS UP 🤗😂
Baked, Bless Up, and Booty: Saw this good boy waiting outside a bakers for
 his human in Rosyth, Scotland
 Pic: reddit u/MacSquizzy
 @ DrSmashlove
Men as I told y’all if u lay pipe skillfully and dutifully to a pretty ting, she might fvck around and bake for u. Just like placing the hands to the throat is the international sign for “I’m choking” (also the international sign for “choke me daddy” 😬), handing a man a container full of fresh baked cookies or fudge lets him know u felt the D in your soul 💕. Sometimes a lady will give u the cookies in plastic Tupperware. Always a wonderful touch. This says: “here is some reusable Tupperware, daddy. Remember me when you order Thai food and need somewhere to store your leftover pad Thai 😌.” But see some of u ladies wanna go the extra mile. This type of lady wanna give u them warm, chewy cookies in one of them extremely classy glass containers with a plastic lid. One of them Pyrex or Anchor Hocking joints. This ain’t just about cookies bruv. This is an entirely different statement. She giving u a high grade reusable container that u can use over and over. U can heat up some soup in there. Throw some veggies in there for an afternoon snack. U feel me? There are Myriad uses for this wondrous technology bruv. This a bold statement. She improving yo life. She saying “thank you for the pipe daddy, you upgraded my Punani, so in return I’m gonna upgrade your entire existence. I opened your fridge and saw you storing leftovers in a Cool Whip container, that’s no way to live daddy 😌 here’s something that will give your leftovers better flavor 🤗.” Bam. Now every time u use it, u think of how she low key upgraded you. Now I’m not saying u ladies owe a man this type of sweetness just for good D. Shiiiiiit u DESERVE good D! That’s off the top! A man shouldn’t be rewarded for merely performing his Duty To The Thee Booty! But if he do, and if u bequeath uponst him Thee Glassware, just know that he gon love both the cookies and the container and the fondness in his heart will only increase. A lot of these men out here was raised by wolves. If he fulfilling his duties as yo daddy, it don’t hurt to be his mommy 🤗 TheresNoHopeForOurGenerarion 😂 p.s. ALWAYS OFFER TO RETURN IT - IF SHE TAKE IT BACK, U JUST A SIDE PIECE. TEMPORARY TUPPERWARE = TEMPORARY D, BLESS UP 🤗😂

Men as I told y’all if u lay pipe skillfully and dutifully to a pretty ting, she might fvck around and bake for u. Just like placing the han...

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Y’all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of y’all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and I’m thinking I might come for y’all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp y’all out completely. And I know what I’d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Y’all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Y’all ain’t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah that’s basic. Mermaids? Bruv that’s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Where’s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she can’t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (😍) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like “I know y’all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night 😢.” Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But I’ll call it Mermaid Period because y’all love it when these beverage companies are extra 🤗). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peet’s and Dark Matter - y’all on notice. Bless up 🤗😂😂😂

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter that’s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...