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    Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Apparently, Ass, and Crying: Anonymous
 08/16/16(Tue)12:24:09 No.699763279
 be fat
 >go to /fit/ and find a
 solution
 >main problem is i eat like
 a dumpster
 apparently things with
 loads of fiber is going to
 211 KB JPG
 save my filthy soul
 "Fiber is digested slowly, leaving you
 feeling full longer, and helps with digestion"
 go out and buy two boxes of fiber-heavy
 breakfast bars
 the first day i have fiber bars for
 breakfast, lunch and a lot of snacks
 i dont shit that day
 next day i fiber myself up even more
 i dont shit that day either
 >fiber jesus is surely working his magic in
 my colon
 can feel the pounds dropping off because
 im not very hungry anymore
 i dont shit the third day
 >i dont shit the fourth day
 thefinaldaydawns.mp3
 si have my morning coffee and feel my
 insides rumble in that familiar way
 the second i hit the toilet the weirdest fart
 in the world exits me
 it's whistling
 just a thin, continuous airstream of fart
 that smells like grandpapas coffin
 >no sound other than the whistling hiss
 suddenly stops
 the hole is plugged
 SOS
 >this shit is so solid it feels like i'm giving
 anal birth to Dwayne "The rock" Johnson
 >hang on to the shower curtain and pray
 the rock is shot out of my asshole at
 mach speed
 >my entire ass is covered in toilet water
 >now the fun begins
 a fart that could do more damage to thee
 ozone layer than aerosol ever did is
 shooting shit bullets out of me
 solid and prefectly round nuggets
 the smell is killing me
 blacking out
 the thuds of nuggets shooting around the
 bowl propelled by my insane fiber
 flatulence is giving me war flashbacks
 iwasntevenin'nam.jpeg
 my guts are yelling in german
 sounds like a moose in heat lives in my
 belly
 most of the shit isn't even digested at this
 point
 just forced out by all the gas that had
 been building up to my throat
 after an hour it finally seems to be over
 sim shivering and crying
 both legs collapse as i try to stand up
 >my stomach hitting the bathroom tiles
 forces one last trumpet
 gondorcallsforaid.rar
 shakily wipe my ass
 completely clean
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CANT BREATHE

I HAVE TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE


Pretty sure this has the most notes of any of my posts

gondorcallsforaid.rar


I’m in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face 

If I have to read this, so do you.


This is funnier than it should be

Omfg 
                
            

            
            
feniczoroark:

larjmarge:
itsperegrine:

the-mighty-birdy:


carolina-viking:

th3laugh1ngt0mat0:

carolina-viking:

Holy fucking shit I CAN...

            
            
        

    



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            



        

            
        
        

            




    America, Ass, and Bad: Kodak Jack
 @thatgirlljackie
 Follow
 When you just gave birth but you have an
 exam tomorrow
the-lady-of-lothlorien:
patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

curvella:

supesean:

dillonstpepper:

leah-black:


o———-w———-o:

blackqueerblog:

This really a strong ass picture. Black women are super heroes!

I love everything about this, but might I ask. Why the FUCK is schooling so bad in America that a woman who just gave birth has to prepare for an exam tomorrow? @the American education system, bitch


I remember getting ready to fight a teacher because he kicked out a single mother who’s babysitter fell through. The baby wasn’t even crying. I got his ass fired.


I remember my friend taking her exam while her water was breaking, because her professor wouldn’t allow her to take the exam at a later date.  

you know, maybe we shouldnt glorify this shit and start working on making it so that women can have fucking kids and not get fucked over by the system.

i was gonna say….this made me kinda sad lmao she should be resting. this isn’t “strong” it’s a sign of a failed system


For anyone reading this: you have rights as a parenting/pregnant student under Title IX. You can reschedule in the event of a birth, among many other things. You can learn more at pregnantoncampus.org


Reblogging for any of my followers that might need this

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                America, Ass, and Bad: Kodak Jack
 @thatgirlljackie
 Follow
 When you just gave birth but you have an
 exam tomorrow
the-lady-of-lothlorien:
patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

curvella:

supesean:

dillonstpepper:

leah-black:


o———-w———-o:

blackqueerblog:

This really a strong ass picture. Black women are super heroes!

I love everything about this, but might I ask. Why the FUCK is schooling so bad in America that a woman who just gave birth has to prepare for an exam tomorrow? @the American education system, bitch


I remember getting ready to fight a teacher because he kicked out a single mother who’s babysitter fell through. The baby wasn’t even crying. I got his ass fired.


I remember my friend taking her exam while her water was breaking, because her professor wouldn’t allow her to take the exam at a later date.  

you know, maybe we shouldnt glorify this shit and start working on making it so that women can have fucking kids and not get fucked over by the system.

i was gonna say….this made me kinda sad lmao she should be resting. this isn’t “strong” it’s a sign of a failed system


For anyone reading this: you have rights as a parenting/pregnant student under Title IX. You can reschedule in the event of a birth, among many other things. You can learn more at pregnantoncampus.org


Reblogging for any of my followers that might need this

                
            

            
            
the-lady-of-lothlorien:
patron-saint-of-smart-asses:

curvella:

supesean:

dillonstpepper:

leah-black:


o———-w———-o:

blackqueerblog:

Th...