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Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been
Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been

bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all...

News, Phone, and Teacher: priceofliberty Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking Right Up And Just Asking NEWS WITH VIDEO-Economy Jobs -News IS SUE 50-12-Mar 25, 2014 10 9K 1.4K ผู 49 alking Right Up And skin 73r Fun story my history teacher told us: his grandfather during the industrial revolution walked past a flyer which said "looking for smart strong boys" so he went into the factory, said "i'm strong and smart", and he had that job from age 13 to 78 kaiitea and this is why they expect the younger generation to simply "get a job" ahh it's so much clearer now entwinedmoon act that there's no such thin in, anymore #like the majority of jobs you'd actually want require online applications g as 'just walkin re l (via halffizzbin) Here's another fun story: My boss decided to slap my work phone number on all the ads we post looking for newspaper carriers. So l receive a bunch of calls from people looking for jobs. Working only part time, I'm not usu- ally there when they call, so they have to leave a message and I take their info to pass on to my boss. Sometimes it can be weeks before my boss calls any of these applicants back, if at all. How the callers respond to not getting a callback varies. Most don't do anything, but some call again. If the person sounds young, they may leave another message clarifying their qualifications and reaffirming thein interest. If the person is old, and I can always hear it in their voice, they respond by getting mad, threatening to cancel their newspaper subscription, and occasionally swearing. The older generation is used to getting a callback, and an immediate one, so they throw a tantrum when they don't get what they want. And everyone calls Millennials entitled truckerjbthemd Mind. Blown lesbiantrevorbelmont This is great info, but the way the headline is phrased made it sound like they got the job of being a grandfather by walking right up and just asking Source: priceofliberty Smart Strong Boys
News, Phone, and Teacher: priceofliberty
 Report: 95% Of Grandfathers Got Job By Walking
 Right Up And Just Asking
 NEWS WITH VIDEO-Economy Jobs -News IS SUE 50-12-Mar 25, 2014
 10 9K
 1.4K
 ผู
 49
 alking Right Up And
 skin
 73r
 Fun story my history teacher told us: his
 grandfather during the industrial revolution
 walked past a flyer which said "looking for
 smart strong boys" so he went into the
 factory, said "i'm strong and smart", and he
 had that job from age 13 to 78
 kaiitea
 and this is why they expect the younger
 generation to simply "get a job" ahh it's so
 much clearer now
 entwinedmoon
 act that there's no such thin
 in, anymore #like the majority of jobs you'd
 actually want require online applications
 g as 'just walkin
 re
 l (via
 halffizzbin)
 Here's another fun story: My boss decided to
 slap my work phone number on all the ads
 we post looking for newspaper carriers. So l
 receive a bunch of calls from people looking
 for jobs. Working only part time, I'm not usu-
 ally there when they call, so they have to leave
 a message and I take their info to pass on to
 my boss. Sometimes it can be weeks before
 my boss calls any of these applicants back, if
 at all. How the callers respond to not getting
 a callback varies. Most don't do anything, but
 some call again. If the person sounds young,
 they may leave another message clarifying
 their qualifications and reaffirming thein
 interest. If the person is old, and I can always
 hear it in their voice, they respond by getting
 mad, threatening to cancel their newspaper
 subscription, and occasionally swearing. The
 older generation is used to getting a callback,
 and an immediate one, so they throw a
 tantrum when they don't get what they want.
 And everyone calls Millennials entitled
 truckerjbthemd
 Mind. Blown
 lesbiantrevorbelmont
 This is great info, but the way the headline is
 phrased made it sound like they got the job of
 being a grandfather by walking right up and
 just asking
 Source: priceofliberty
Smart Strong Boys

Smart Strong Boys

Alive, Comfortable, and Friends: GAYmer trans @trans_gaymes Following I've dated two cis gay guys, both of whom weren't into vaginas. One just told me he wasn't comfortable with them in a sexual way, I told him that's fine and it was never a problem in our relationship. The other one, however... 10:20 PM-11 Dec 2018 16 Retweets 78 Likes GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h The other guy purposefully used this against me. He asked me out KNOWING that I'm trans, then a week into our relationship, said he could never be happy with a "biological female", and that we HAD to have an open relationship, which I wasn't comfortable with. GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h I told him I wasn't comfortable with an open relationship, but he insisted he couldn't date me and be happy otherwise, so I gave in and agreed. At the time, I didn't see how fucked up this actually was. I didn't realize until after I broke up with him. GAYmer trans @trans_gaymes 17h After I broke up with him, he sent death threats against me to my friends. When reported these threats, he insisted that I was trying to force him to be sexually attracted to me. Which is the exact opposite of what happened GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h I would have had no problem with him not being into me that way. But instead, he made his own manipulation against me look like I was the one manipulating him. And I was blamed for him threatening my life, and he faced no consequences for that. GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h So that's how I know that the "trans people are trying to force people to have sex with them" claims are wrong. Because l've personally lived through being demonized by them. And I'm lucky to have made it out alive, because he really would have killed me if he had the chance.
Alive, Comfortable, and Friends: GAYmer trans
 @trans_gaymes
 Following
 I've dated two cis gay guys, both of
 whom weren't into vaginas. One just
 told me he wasn't comfortable with
 them in a sexual way, I told him that's
 fine and it was never a problem in our
 relationship. The other one, however...
 10:20 PM-11 Dec 2018
 16 Retweets 78 Likes

 GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h
 The other guy purposefully used this against me. He asked me out KNOWING
 that I'm trans, then a week into our relationship, said he could never be happy
 with a "biological female", and that we HAD to have an open relationship, which
 I wasn't comfortable with.
 GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h
 I told him I wasn't comfortable with an open relationship, but he insisted he
 couldn't date me and be happy otherwise, so I gave in and agreed. At the time, I
 didn't see how fucked up this actually was. I didn't realize until after I broke up
 with him.
 GAYmer trans @trans_gaymes 17h
 After I broke up with him, he sent death threats against me to my friends. When
 reported these threats, he insisted that I was trying to force him to be sexually
 attracted to me. Which is the exact opposite of what happened
 GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h
 I would have had no problem with him not being into me that way. But instead,
 he made his own manipulation against me look like I was the one manipulating
 him. And I was blamed for him threatening my life, and he faced no
 consequences for that.

 GAYmer trans@trans_gaymes 17h
 So that's how I know that the "trans people are trying to force people to have
 sex with them" claims are wrong. Because l've personally lived through being
 demonized by them. And I'm lucky to have made it out alive, because he really
 would have killed me if he had the chance.
Brains, Complex, and Fucking: fuckingflying I hate linguistic anthropology. Why? One of the most influential experiments in linguistic anthropology involved teaching a chimp asl. One of the most influential linguistics is named Noam Chomsky. You know what the chimp's name was? Nim Chimpsky Fucking monkey purn And this is in textbooks, in documentaries, everywhere. And everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD AWFUL PUN cause of how important the experiment was. But BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD. dendritic-trees Its not just the linguistic anthropologists. There's a group of very important genes that determine if your body develops in the right shape/ organization... they are called the hedgehog genes, because fruit fly geneticists are all ridiculous. The different hedgehog genes are all named after different hedgehogs. And then someone decided to get clever and name one "sonic hedgehog" because this is just what fruitfly geneticists do. Well sonic hedgehog controls brain development, and now actual doctors are stuck in the position of explaining to grieving parents that their child's lethal birth defects or life-threatening tumors are caused by a "sonic hedgehog mutation". And this is why no one will invite the fruit fly people to parties error-404-fuck-not-found Biogeochemical scientists, upon discovering the complex mechanisms that govern the storage and use of molecular iron on our planet, decided to call this cycle "the ferrous wheel" We groaned about that for at least five solid minutes. callmegallifreya The phenomenon of sneezing when exposed to sudden bright light is called an Autosomal-dominant Compelling Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO Half a byte of data is a nibble. theactualcluegirl An unidentified, repetitive computer error is called a Bug, because the first one of those they discovered to be the fault of a moth fluttering against the vacuum tubes I think we need to admit that academics and engineers are lonely, stressed people whose brains go funny places when deprived of sleep and fed too much coffee instead sonic hedgehog
Brains, Complex, and Fucking: fuckingflying
 I hate linguistic anthropology. Why?
 One of the most influential experiments
 in linguistic anthropology involved
 teaching a chimp asl. One of the most
 influential linguistics is named Noam
 Chomsky. You know what the chimp's
 name was?
 Nim Chimpsky
 Fucking monkey purn
 And this is in textbooks, in
 documentaries, everywhere. And
 everyone just IGNORES THIS GOD
 AWFUL PUN cause of how important
 the experiment was. But
 BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. FUCKING NIM
 CHIMPSKY. I HATE THIS WHOLE FIELD.
 dendritic-trees
 Its not just the linguistic
 anthropologists.
 There's a group of very important
 genes that determine if your body
 develops in the right shape/
 organization... they are called the
 hedgehog genes, because fruit fly
 geneticists are all ridiculous. The
 different hedgehog genes are all named
 after different hedgehogs. And then
 someone decided to get clever and
 name one "sonic hedgehog" because
 this is just what fruitfly geneticists do.
 Well sonic hedgehog controls brain
 development, and now actual doctors
 are stuck in the position of explaining to
 grieving parents that their child's lethal
 birth defects or life-threatening tumors
 are caused by a "sonic hedgehog
 mutation".
 And this is why no one will invite the
 fruit fly people to parties
 error-404-fuck-not-found
 Biogeochemical scientists, upon
 discovering the complex mechanisms
 that govern the storage and use of
 molecular iron on our planet, decided to
 call this cycle "the ferrous wheel" We
 groaned about that for at least five solid
 minutes.
 callmegallifreya
 The phenomenon of sneezing when
 exposed to sudden bright light is called
 an Autosomal-dominant Compelling
 Helio Opthalmic Outburst. ACHOO
 Half a byte of data is a nibble.
 theactualcluegirl
 An unidentified, repetitive computer
 error is called a Bug, because the first
 one of those they discovered to be the
 fault of a moth fluttering against the
 vacuum tubes
 I think we need to admit that academics
 and engineers are lonely, stressed
 people whose brains go funny places
 when deprived of sleep and fed too
 much coffee instead
sonic hedgehog

sonic hedgehog

Ass, Bored, and God: > NEW MESSAGE SAMIRA TINY PE JUST GONNA WEAR A HAT (H-HI THANKS FOR HEARING ME OuT HRu?)o BORED BIGi HELLO ELLIOT You READY To Go? REDSHIFT REDSHIFT REDSHIFT OSHIFT DO You REMEMBER A PHONE CALL FROM LAST NIGHT? ANY ATTEMPT TO HARM DANEL S PUNISHABLE 8Y ME, KICKING youR ASs HE souNDs ANGRY ,JEWISH AND MAKES COLOR FuL THPEATS YEAH THAT WAS OVERSHADOWED BY A LOT OF OTHER HAPPENNGS FOP WHAT REASON? WELL HE D LIKE TO HAVE A MEETING WITH You 0 To DIScuss CERTAIN EVENTS SuCH AS INFILTRATION, CONSPIRACY 7 A DEADLY CHEMICAL SPILL INDECENT EXPOSURE A PHYsICAL DOMESTIC TERRORISM I'M GOING To REQUEST THAT YOu CoME 0 SOUNDS BORING. WITH METO SETTLE THINGS THIS ALL OF COURSE, WILL INVOLVE A FAIR AMOUNT OF LEGAL WORK YOW'RE BEING ARRESTED you MEAN PAPER WORK? NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH ME? NAH NAH NAH nci NO UNDER ARREST? HMM F HE WHERE's youR WARRANT?! ARREST9 ME SHOW ME A BADGE GOD I WILL BURN My REDSHIFT POSTER WANNA SEE IT!! SEE A UNIFORM! I DON T CARE HOW HANDSoME You ARE IT I5 DIFFICuLT TO IGNORE-! AM A VICTIM OF CIRCuMSTANCE OH YEAH? you oF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT You WERE THERE!! WELL I GOT DOu BLE PROBATION FOR HELPING You Guys SHIT I DONIT GET TO coME HERE IN UANIFORM I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO ARREST YOu THEN WHY ARE YOU THREATENING ME? BECAUSE YOU'RE A BRAT! WELL YOU'RE A BIGGER ONE! GASP N TOLD sharpzero: Guess who got their life back together and is making comics again! read this comic on tapas buy a götdamt comic book ( $5 off with code GIMME5 ) 
nsfw
Ass, Bored, and God: > NEW MESSAGE
 SAMIRA
 TINY
 PE
 JUST GONNA
 WEAR A HAT
 (H-HI
 THANKS FOR
 HEARING ME
 OuT
 HRu?)o
 BORED
 BIGi
 HELLO
 ELLIOT
 You READY
 To Go?
 REDSHIFT
 REDSHIFT
 REDSHIFT
 OSHIFT
 DO You
 REMEMBER
 A PHONE CALL
 FROM LAST
 NIGHT?
 ANY ATTEMPT
 TO HARM DANEL
 S PUNISHABLE
 8Y ME, KICKING
 youR ASs
 HE souNDs
 ANGRY ,JEWISH
 AND MAKES
 COLOR FuL
 THPEATS
 YEAH THAT WAS
 OVERSHADOWED
 BY A LOT OF OTHER
 HAPPENNGS

 FOP WHAT
 REASON?
 WELL HE D
 LIKE TO HAVE
 A MEETING
 WITH You
 0
 To DIScuss
 CERTAIN
 EVENTS
 SuCH AS
 INFILTRATION,
 CONSPIRACY
 7
 A DEADLY
 CHEMICAL SPILL
 INDECENT
 EXPOSURE
 A PHYsICAL
 DOMESTIC
 TERRORISM
 I'M GOING
 To REQUEST
 THAT YOu CoME
 0
 SOUNDS
 BORING.
 WITH METO
 SETTLE
 THINGS
 THIS ALL
 OF COURSE,
 WILL INVOLVE
 A FAIR AMOUNT
 OF LEGAL WORK
 YOW'RE
 BEING
 ARRESTED
 you MEAN
 PAPER WORK?

 NAH NAH NAH
 NAH NAH NAH NAH
 NAH NAH NAH
 NAH NAH
 NAH NAH
 NAH
 ME?
 NAH NAH
 NAH
 nci
 NO
 UNDER
 ARREST?
 HMM
 F HE
 WHERE's youR
 WARRANT?!
 ARREST9 ME
 SHOW ME
 A BADGE
 GOD I WILL
 BURN My
 REDSHIFT
 POSTER
 WANNA
 SEE IT!!
 SEE A
 UNIFORM!
 I DON T CARE
 HOW HANDSoME
 You ARE
 IT I5 DIFFICuLT
 TO IGNORE-!
 AM A
 VICTIM OF
 CIRCuMSTANCE
 OH
 YEAH?
 you oF
 ALL PEOPLE
 SHOULD KNOW
 THAT
 You WERE
 THERE!!
 WELL I
 GOT DOu BLE
 PROBATION
 FOR HELPING
 You Guys

 SHIT
 I DONIT
 GET TO coME
 HERE IN UANIFORM
 I DON'T
 EVEN HAVE
 THE AUTHORITY
 TO ARREST YOu
 THEN WHY
 ARE YOU
 THREATENING
 ME?
 BECAUSE
 YOU'RE A
 BRAT!
 WELL
 YOU'RE A
 BIGGER
 ONE!
 GASP
 N TOLD
sharpzero:

Guess who got their life back together and is making comics again! read this comic on tapas buy a götdamt comic book ( $5 off with code GIMME5 ) 

sharpzero: Guess who got their life back together and is making comics again! read this comic on tapas buy a götdamt comic book ( $5 off wi...

America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.
America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable:
reversingyourpolarity:

elidyce:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

ecnamor-lacimehc-ym:

gallifrey-feels:

sociopathic-italian-grandmas:

millshouse:

meganiun:

happyvegetable:

kennilworthy-thisp:

derinthemadscientist:

lumoslouis:

soloontherocks:

amour-vengeance:

later-homenuggets:

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.
Went there.
Parrots tried to take our car.
Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.
There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 
I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 
Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. 

They did lose the Emu War, after all.

zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandm...

Bad, Bailey Jay, and Click: softlyfiercely pervocracy: dysgraphicprogrammer pervocracy: How to hack any hospital computer -Use the password taped to the monitor How to hack any hospital computer (L337 version for advanced security systems) -Use the password taped to the back of the monitor As a computer guy: This is what happens when you have too much security. It reaches a tipping point and then suddenly you have none Security at the cost of convenience comes at the cost of security This is true of so many things in healthcare. Example: our software is designed to automatically alert the doctor if a patient's vital signs are critically out of range. If someone has a blood pressure of 200/130, the doc gets a pop-up box that they have to acknowledge before doing anything else. It makes sense, in our setting But then some mega-genius upstairs realized something: the system was only alerting for critical vital signs, but not for all vital signs that could possibly be bad. Like, yeah, 200/130 is potentially life- threatening, but 130/90 is above ideal and can have negative effects on health. Should the doctors be allowed to just ignore something that could negatively affect a patient's health? Heavens no! So now the system generates a pop-up for any vital signs that are even slightly abnormal. A pressure of 120/80 (once considered textbook normal, now considered slightly high) will create the pop up. We have increased our vigilance! Well, no, what we've actually done is train doctors to click through a constant bombardment of pop-ups without looking. We've destroyed their vigilance and made it much easier for them to accidentally skim past life-threatening vital signs But you can't tell that to management, because you'd have to confess that you are a flawed human with limited attention resources They'd tell you "well, all the other doctors take every abnormal vital sign seriously, it sounds like you're being negligent." And if you're smart, you back down before you start telling the big boss all about your habit of ignoring critical safety alert:s The end result is exactly the same as if we had no alerts at all, except with more annoying clicking this here is an absolutely fascinating overview of how and why this happens A fascinating look at the intersection of technology and healthcare, and how we still have a lot to figure out
Bad, Bailey Jay, and Click: softlyfiercely
 pervocracy:
 dysgraphicprogrammer
 pervocracy:
 How to hack any hospital computer
 -Use the password taped to the monitor
 How to hack any hospital computer (L337
 version for advanced security systems)
 -Use the password taped to the back of the monitor
 As a computer guy: This is what happens when you have too much
 security. It reaches a tipping point and then suddenly you have
 none
 Security at the cost of convenience comes at the cost of security
 This is true of so many things in healthcare. Example: our software
 is designed to automatically alert the doctor if a patient's vital signs
 are critically out of range. If someone has a blood pressure of
 200/130, the doc gets a pop-up box that they have to acknowledge
 before doing anything else. It makes sense, in our setting
 But then some mega-genius upstairs realized something: the system
 was only alerting for critical vital signs, but not for all vital signs that
 could possibly be bad. Like, yeah, 200/130 is potentially life-
 threatening, but 130/90 is above ideal and can have negative effects
 on health. Should the doctors be allowed to just ignore something
 that could negatively affect a patient's health? Heavens no!
 So now the system generates a pop-up for any vital signs that are
 even slightly abnormal. A pressure of 120/80 (once considered
 textbook normal, now considered slightly high) will create the pop
 up. We have increased our vigilance!
 Well, no, what we've actually done is train doctors to click through a
 constant bombardment of pop-ups without looking. We've destroyed
 their vigilance and made it much easier for them to accidentally skim
 past life-threatening vital signs
 But you can't tell that to management, because you'd have to confess
 that you are a flawed human with limited attention resources
 They'd tell you "well, all the other doctors take every abnormal vital
 sign seriously, it sounds like you're being negligent." And if you're
 smart, you back down before you start telling the big boss all about
 your habit of ignoring critical safety alert:s
 The end result is exactly the same as if we had no alerts at all, except
 with more annoying clicking
 this here is an absolutely fascinating overview of how and why this
 happens
A fascinating look at the intersection of technology and healthcare, and how we still have a lot to figure out

A fascinating look at the intersection of technology and healthcare, and how we still have a lot to figure out