Today I


                    
                    
                

                

                

            

        
    







            

            
            

                

                    
                

                

                    

                        


	

	
    

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    Today I: justcatposts:

“My neighbor’s cat has decided that we’re friends, and now demands pet tax whenever I get home. Today I did not move fast enough.”(Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: justcatposts:

“My neighbor’s cat has decided that we’re friends, and now demands pet tax whenever I get home. Today I did not move fast enough.”(Source)
                
                

                
            

            
            
justcatposts:

“My neighbor’s cat has decided that we’re friends, and now demands pet tax whenever I get home. Today I did not move fast...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Today I: fire-for-u:

kathelin:
online-shopping—addiction:

A SKY FULL OF STARS IN THE COMFORT OF HOME!
Tired of outdated home decor concepts? Need new ideas? How about transforming your humble abode into a breathtaking starry night - every night…and day? Say an astronomical hello to the Galaxy Projector, the latest innovation from the minds at The Aesthetic Shop.
The Galaxy Projector is an advanced holographic creation, small in size yet mighty in power. This mini laser star projector turns your home into an inspiring planetarium, with all the music and lights to go with it.
REDUCE STRESS & ANXIETY.
Studies show lights such that mimic stars help reduce stress and anxiety. Lie in bed and contemplate life’s intricacies as you observe Earth’s cosmos
 –> GET YOURS HERE WITH 50% OFF ONLY THE NEXT 24 HOURS <–


Omg! This is the prettiest thing that i’ve see today!! I just ordered one! I can’t wait to get mine!! ❤️️❤️️❤️️

I love the ambience of this light for movie nights! There are multiple settings and colors that you can choose from on the remote. You can either have the option of the stars alone or clouds, or a combo of both. You can have a still setting or set it to a “wave” so that the clouds are moving. It also works as a Bluetooth speaker and the sound quality is pretty good for a lamp projector.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: fire-for-u:

kathelin:
online-shopping—addiction:

A SKY FULL OF STARS IN THE COMFORT OF HOME!
Tired of outdated home decor concepts? Need new ideas? How about transforming your humble abode into a breathtaking starry night - every night…and day? Say an astronomical hello to the Galaxy Projector, the latest innovation from the minds at The Aesthetic Shop.
The Galaxy Projector is an advanced holographic creation, small in size yet mighty in power. This mini laser star projector turns your home into an inspiring planetarium, with all the music and lights to go with it.
REDUCE STRESS & ANXIETY.
Studies show lights such that mimic stars help reduce stress and anxiety. Lie in bed and contemplate life’s intricacies as you observe Earth’s cosmos
 –> GET YOURS HERE WITH 50% OFF ONLY THE NEXT 24 HOURS <–


Omg! This is the prettiest thing that i’ve see today!! I just ordered one! I can’t wait to get mine!! ❤️️❤️️❤️️

I love the ambience of this light for movie nights! There are multiple settings and colors that you can choose from on the remote. You can either have the option of the stars alone or clouds, or a combo of both. You can have a still setting or set it to a “wave” so that the clouds are moving. It also works as a Bluetooth speaker and the sound quality is pretty good for a lamp projector.
                
                

                
            

            
            
fire-for-u:

kathelin:
online-shopping—addiction:

A SKY FULL OF STARS IN THE COMFORT OF HOME!
Tired of outdated home decor concepts? Nee...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

Chaotic Good

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

Chaotic Good

                
            

            
            
relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremembe...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses as necessary .
‘  the problem is you keep trying to use your eyes  ’
‘  how i soften when you pull me against you  ’
‘  you are teaching me to love  ’
‘  i will pretend that i have not already heard the question in your eyes  ’
‘  you perhaps will become my swan song  ’
‘  it is a very human thing to love  ’
‘  you are my good days  ’
‘  i have been loved dearly  ’
‘  i promise you will not always be this war  ’
‘  thank god for the stubbornness of organs  ’
‘  it takes me seven days to stop being in love with you  ’
‘  there will always be another day  ’
‘  there will always be another mercy  ’
‘  perhaps i will take up dancing again  ’
‘  what a pretty little disaster you will be  ’
‘  i am terrified for you  ’
‘  i will fold inside of myself  ’
‘  today i am thankful  ’
‘  i didn’t want to sleep because i didn’t want to wake  ’
‘  come and get me  ’
‘  i tell myself i do not need you  ’
‘  i think i broke again last night  ’
‘  i’m just trying to connect with you  ’
‘  you are an ocean that will perhaps never stop crashing  ’
‘  burn the house down in search of yourself  ’
‘  don’t you dare ever stop looking  ’
‘  i struggle not to feel guilty  ’
‘  you are a wild  ,  unkempt thing  ’
‘  sometimes it is a very sad thing to be human and longing  ’
‘  find that you are made of russian nesting dolls  ’
‘  the trees are always kindest with spring comes  ’
‘  teach yourself the hymns again  ’
‘  he is every amen i have ever laid down on lips  ’
‘  this life is an altar  ’
‘  i am sorry i do not have more time  ’
‘  there is a mountain in me  ’
‘  by the morning i am a triumph  ’
‘  there are words playing hooky in the back of your throat  ’
‘  today is by far the most beautiful creature i have ever come across  ’
‘  there are many things that will fit beneath your skin  ’
‘  forgiveness does not take up much room  ’
‘  some days you will breathe and it will be enough  ’
‘  you do not have to hold it quite so tightly  ’
‘  there is a prayer in me  ,  still  ’
‘  you scare me a little  ’
‘  you can be a good thing and not a whole thing  ’
‘  there are flowers in my chest again  ’
‘  the rain comes and sounds like you  ’
‘  i cannot tell you why i still trust god  ’
‘  find peace and build a home out of it  ’

‘  there is never an end  ’

                
            

            
            
phantomemes:
starters  /  prompts taken from f. d. soul’s work ,  between you and these bones .  feel free to change pronouns  /  tenses...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: my-discourse-blog:

ryrythescienceguy:

Children being naturally exposed to a variety of germs from a very young age (from dirt, pets, playplaces, sandboxes, other kids, etc) is actually really good for the immune system and can even prevent the development of allergies. The reason food allergies are so common these days is precisely because parents are avoiding exposing their kids to possible trigger foods and not letting them get dirty (also the overuse of antibacterial soaps/hand santitizers and antibiotics!).
Source: grew up on a farm, played in the dirt and with germy animals and germy siblings/cousins/friends all the time, and very rarely took antibiotics… today I’m 24, have zero allergies, and a great immune system (even my little sister is the same, and she wasn’t vaccinated until she was a teenager).
This is also why oldest siblings and only children tend to have more allergies in my anecdotal experience; the parents often get overprepared and don’t let their kid get exposed to ANY germs/allergens—by the time other children come along the parents are jaded enough to not care about it as much, and thus the kids afterwards are exposed to more germs from birth!
If this sounds weird and backwards, it’s because for a long time doctors used to teach the exact opposite. Keep your child clean and away from germs and potenial allergy triggers. Until they saw the long-term side effects of this and are now starting to tell new parents how to do it better.
NOTE: I AM EXTREMELY PRO-VAX! DO NOT MISTAKE THIS COMMENT AS ANTI-VAX. VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN AND EXPOSE THEM TO GERMS IN A CONTROLLED WAY. THE HUMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM IS CAPABLE OF MANY THINGS BUT IT’S NOT A MIRACLE WORKER AND IT NEEDS HELP!!!


Can confirm this is true. I’ve studied food science for 5 years and have 3 qualifications in food safety. 

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: my-discourse-blog:

ryrythescienceguy:

Children being naturally exposed to a variety of germs from a very young age (from dirt, pets, playplaces, sandboxes, other kids, etc) is actually really good for the immune system and can even prevent the development of allergies. The reason food allergies are so common these days is precisely because parents are avoiding exposing their kids to possible trigger foods and not letting them get dirty (also the overuse of antibacterial soaps/hand santitizers and antibiotics!).
Source: grew up on a farm, played in the dirt and with germy animals and germy siblings/cousins/friends all the time, and very rarely took antibiotics… today I’m 24, have zero allergies, and a great immune system (even my little sister is the same, and she wasn’t vaccinated until she was a teenager).
This is also why oldest siblings and only children tend to have more allergies in my anecdotal experience; the parents often get overprepared and don’t let their kid get exposed to ANY germs/allergens—by the time other children come along the parents are jaded enough to not care about it as much, and thus the kids afterwards are exposed to more germs from birth!
If this sounds weird and backwards, it’s because for a long time doctors used to teach the exact opposite. Keep your child clean and away from germs and potenial allergy triggers. Until they saw the long-term side effects of this and are now starting to tell new parents how to do it better.
NOTE: I AM EXTREMELY PRO-VAX! DO NOT MISTAKE THIS COMMENT AS ANTI-VAX. VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING CHILDREN AND EXPOSE THEM TO GERMS IN A CONTROLLED WAY. THE HUMAN IMMUNE SYSTEM IS CAPABLE OF MANY THINGS BUT IT’S NOT A MIRACLE WORKER AND IT NEEDS HELP!!!


Can confirm this is true. I’ve studied food science for 5 years and have 3 qualifications in food safety. 

                
            

            
            
my-discourse-blog:

ryrythescienceguy:

Children being naturally exposed to a variety of germs from a very young age (from dirt, pets, pl...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: sewfastdyeyoung:

veresfika:

veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I know I just reblogged this but it got even better!

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: sewfastdyeyoung:

veresfika:

veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I know I just reblogged this but it got even better!

                
            

            
            
sewfastdyeyoung:

veresfika:

veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


v...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: justcatposts:

“My neighbor’s cat has decided that we’re friends, and now demands pet tax whenever I get home. Today I did not move fast enough.”(Source)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: justcatposts:

“My neighbor’s cat has decided that we’re friends, and now demands pet tax whenever I get home. Today I did not move fast enough.”(Source)
                
                

                
            

            
            
justcatposts:

“My neighbor’s cat has decided that we’re friends, and now demands pet tax whenever I get home. Today I did not move fast...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: My dog duo passed away today, I wanted to post a photo of her here so that she will never be forgotten.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: My dog duo passed away today, I wanted to post a photo of her here so that she will never be forgotten.
                
            

            
            
My dog duo passed away today, I wanted to post a photo of her here so that she will never be forgotten.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: A year ago today I matched with the love of my life!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: A year ago today I matched with the love of my life!
                
            

            
            
A year ago today I matched with the love of my life!

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I learned
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I learned
                
            

            
            
Today I learned

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I have one of those mannequins,,,, catch me making it fancy clothing now
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:

day 19(?): boredom got way worse, trying to make myself a victorian friend


gained conciousness, not ashamed to show some tits



no more bare tits



oh shit a bow






having a moment






🎶sleeves sleeves sleeves makin puffsleeves gonna look like french meringue  doesnt even rhyme at all not even a little bit🎵 shhhh shhhh go away kitty



aight folks that’s it for today i have some booing to do at the tv about some shitty and inaccurate costumes



good morning sluts, back to work

fellas im straight up not having a good time im in the middle of a lil meltdown over how much time i’ve spent sewing roses on my skirt before realizing they were anuses (or ani like cacti? 🤔) 



we’re gonna be so pretty



wig snatched






shit do i gotta act like a lady now? 





if I play dead it might goes away



oh my im getting hotter by the minute



what a lovely creature im having a real beuty and the beast moment… wait no that bitch is a furry




I’m SO flattered (and self-centered) i had to hang up your amd @a-sip-of-anxietea ’s drawings I just love them ❤️



girl’s night out(ish) 🍻



I have one of those mannequins,,,, catch me making it fancy clothing now
                
            

            
            
kamikazevendetta:

veresfika:
veresfika:


improveordie:


veresfika:

veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


veresfika:


v...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Today I: I made a meme today. I think it was terrible. by Jerungbiru55r
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: I made a meme today. I think it was terrible. by Jerungbiru55r
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
I made a meme today. I think it was terrible. by Jerungbiru55r
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: The wife sent me this one today. I have to admit, it made me chuckle.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: The wife sent me this one today. I have to admit, it made me chuckle.
                
            

            
            
The wife sent me this one today. I have to admit, it made me chuckle.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: peachequi:Today I bought this beautiful flower,  Azalea Indica  🌸
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: peachequi:Today I bought this beautiful flower,  Azalea Indica  🌸
                
                

                
            

            
            
peachequi:Today I bought this beautiful flower,  Azalea Indica  🌸

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: omg-humor:

Today I’m turning 34 and just because, I got myself drunk and baked my cake. It looks awful, tastes good though.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: omg-humor:

Today I’m turning 34 and just because, I got myself drunk and baked my cake. It looks awful, tastes good though.
                
            

            
            
omg-humor:

Today I’m turning 34 and just because, I got myself drunk and baked my cake. It looks awful, tastes good though.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I’m turning 34 and just because, I got myself drunk and baked my cake. It looks awful, tastes good though.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I’m turning 34 and just because, I got myself drunk and baked my cake. It looks awful, tastes good though.
                
            

            
            
Today I’m turning 34 and just because, I got myself drunk and baked my cake. It looks awful, tastes good though.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: After seeing the front page today, I believe this is appropriate…
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: After seeing the front page today, I believe this is appropriate…
                
            

            
            
After seeing the front page today, I believe this is appropriate…

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I turned 6 years old (Leap year age)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I turned 6 years old (Leap year age)
                
            

            
            
Today I turned 6 years old (Leap year age)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I turned 6 years old (Leap year age)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I turned 6 years old (Leap year age)
                
            

            
            
Today I turned 6 years old (Leap year age)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I was a good boy… by mitopxx-_-
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I was a good boy… by mitopxx-_-
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Today I was a good boy… by mitopxx-_-
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Basically what happened today! I feel nice!
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Basically what happened today! I feel nice!
                
            

            
            
Basically what happened today! I feel nice!

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: shittydinosaurdrawings:
today I are. tired.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: shittydinosaurdrawings:
today I are. tired.
                
            

            
            
shittydinosaurdrawings:
today I are. tired.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I somehow accepted a date invite, and then stood him up, without even knowing it
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I somehow accepted a date invite, and then stood him up, without even knowing it
                
            

            
            
Today I somehow accepted a date invite, and then stood him up, without even knowing it

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out
                
            

            
            
Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    Today I: Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out
                
            

            
            
Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    Today I: Cat's Diary
 Dog's Diary
 Day 983 of My Captivity
 Dog food! My favorite thing!
 A car ride! My favorite
 8:00 am
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling
 objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
 inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
 Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
 I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my
 strength.
 9:30 am
 thing!
 A walk in the park! My
 9:40 am
 favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My
 favorite thing!
 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite
 thing!
 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My
 favorite thing!
 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite
 thing!
 The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
 an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
 their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
 since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they
 merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle
 hunter" I am. Bastards!
 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
 I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
 event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
 overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
 "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
 my advantage.
 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
 of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
 I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
 snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
 released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
 obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe
 him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
 he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
 custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now.
 Dinner! My favorite thing!
 5:00 pm
 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite
 thing!
 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the
 people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My
 favorite thing!
mini phone dump
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                Today I: Cat's Diary
 Dog's Diary
 Day 983 of My Captivity
 Dog food! My favorite thing!
 A car ride! My favorite
 8:00 am
 My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre littie dangling
 objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
 inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
 Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
 I nevertheiess must eat something in order to keep up my
 strength.
 9:30 am
 thing!
 A walk in the park! My
 9:40 am
 favorite thing!
 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My
 favorite thing!
 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite
 thing!
 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My
 favorite thing!
 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail My favorite
 thing!
 The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In
 an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
 Today i decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at
 their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
 since this clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they
 merely made condescending comments about what a "good litle
 hunter" I am. Bastards!
 There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
 I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
 event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
 overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
 "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to
 my advantage.
 Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one
 of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
 I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
 I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
 snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
 released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
 obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe
 him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that
 he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective
 custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe... for now.
 Dinner! My favorite thing!
 5:00 pm
 7:00 pm - Got to play balll My favorite
 thing!
 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the
 people! My favorite thing!
 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My
 favorite thing!
mini phone dump
                
            

            
            
mini phone dump