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Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO DETERMINE IF YOUR DATE IS MARRIED 1Examine the left ring finger After a period of about one year, a wedding band leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that finger inadvertently, as if something is missing 2 Ask for a home phone number Most people in committed relationships spend at least one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will not give you his home phone number, then he is wor ried someone else will answer when you call 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public. If your date is interested and attracted to you, then he will not object to such a small and commonplace display of affection unless he fears that someone wil spot you together Search your date's car The automobile registration may be in the spouse's name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok- ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing, makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack- ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned. 27. bto determine if your date is married un vison glove compartment ashtray earch your date's car. The automobile registration may include the spouse's mame. 5 Ask to meet some of his friends. After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request. If your date claims that his friends remain close to his ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their social circle, you have good reason to believe that you are not the only woman in his life. Invite him to spend the night. f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa- sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he very likely has someone waiting for him 6 28. cbapter I: defensive dating novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Family, and Friends: HOWTO
 DETERMINE IF YOUR
 DATE IS MARRIED
 1Examine the left ring finger
 After a period of about one year, a wedding band
 leaves a circle of lighter skin around the base of the
 ring finger. Your date may also touch the base of that
 finger inadvertently, as if something is missing
 2 Ask for a home phone number
 Most people in committed relationships spend at least
 one or two hours a week on the phone; if your date will
 not give you his home phone number, then he is wor
 ried someone else will answer when you call
 3 Insist on holding hands when walking in public.
 If your date is interested and attracted to you, then
 he will not object to such a small and commonplace
 display of affection unless he fears that someone wil
 spot you together
 Search your date's car
 The automobile registration may be in the spouse's
 name, or in both names. It is usually kept in the glove
 compartment, behind the sun visor or, for non-smok-
 ers, in the ashtray. Look for signs of a spouse (clothing,
 makeup) or other indicators (pacifiers, pieces of crack-
 ers, toys) of a family your date has not mentioned.
 27. bto determine if your date is married

 un vison
 glove
 compartment
 ashtray
 earch your date's car. The automobile registration may
 include the spouse's mame.
 5
 Ask to meet some of his friends.
 After two or three dates, this is not an unusual request.
 If your date claims that his friends remain close to his
 ex-wife, or that it's too soon to bring you into their
 social circle, you have good reason to believe that you
 are not the only woman in his life.
 Invite him to spend the night.
 f you have engaged in sexual activity on several occa-
 sions but he always refuses to stay the night, then he
 very likely has someone waiting for him
 6
 28.
 cbapter I: defensive dating
novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas:The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

Food, Frozen, and Trap: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes HOW TO TREAT A TONGUE STUCK TO A POLE lWarm the pole with your hands. Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is very when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding. Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several minutes cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze 1 Do not panic. 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole 3 Move closer to the pole. Pulling sharply will be very painful. As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will quickly heal. | İlke z test pull. Get as close as possible without letting more of the tongue's surface area touch the pole. Alternative Method 0 se warm water Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may freeze and exacerbate the problem. Be Aware Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the small amount you will be able to generate is likely to freeze on your tongue.. If another person is present, have him or her pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over your tongue should do the trick Warm the pole wih yr ui wti your ton How To THWART AN AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT er all ood/ medi 1S tial restau tuate fave hark an- e to nc- to How rO ESCAPE FROM A GIANT OCTOPUS 1 Pull away quickly In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres- sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the next step. 2 Do not go limp. Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough, will check to see if you are a food item before letting you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult. However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres- sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring ou in for a closer look. 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around your arms. The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook Includes Searchable CD With All 11 Handbooks plus wallpapers, and more By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Food, Frozen, and Trap: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes

 HOW TO TREAT A
 TONGUE STUCK
 TO A POLE
 lWarm the pole with your hands.
 Atongue will stick when the surface of the pole is
 very
 when the tongue touches the pole, causing bonding.
 Place your gloved hands on the area of the pole
 closest to the tongue. Hold them there for several
 minutes
 cold. The top few layers of the tongue will freeze
 1 Do not panic.
 2 Do not pull the tongue from the pole
 3 Move closer to the pole.
 Pulling sharply will be very painful.
 As the pole warms, the frozen area around the tongue
 should begin to thaw. Gently pull the tongue away
 from the pole. You may leave a layer or two of skin on
 the pole, which will be painful, but the tongue will
 quickly heal.
 | İlke z test pull.
 Get as close as possible without letting more of the
 tongue's surface area touch the pole.
 Alternative Method
 0
 se warm water
 Pour water from a water bottle over the tongue and
 the pole. Do not use water that is cold, or it may
 freeze and exacerbate the problem.
 Be Aware
 Do not try to loosen your tongue with your own
 saliva: Although saliva is relatively warm, the
 small amount you will be able to generate is
 likely to freeze on your tongue..
 If another person is present, have him or her
 pour warm (not hot) water over your tongue. This
 may be difficult to articulate while your tongue is
 stuck-pantomiming a glass of water poured over
 your tongue should do the trick
 Warm the pole wih yr ui wti
 your ton

 How To THWART AN
 AFFECTIONATE COSTUMED MAScoT
 er
 all
 ood/
 medi
 1S
 tial
 restau
 tuate
 fave
 hark
 an-
 e
 to
 nc-
 to

 How rO ESCAPE
 FROM A GIANT
 OCTOPUS
 1 Pull away quickly
 In many cases, a human can escape from the grasp of
 small- to medium-sized octopus by just swimming
 away. Propel yourself forward to create a pulling pres-
 sure on the octopus's arms. If you cannot get away, or
 if you feel yourself being pulled back, continue to the
 next step.
 2 Do not go limp.
 Octopi are naturally curious and, if strong enough,
 will check to see if you are a food item before letting
 you go. Do not act passively, or you may be bitten or
 quickly enveloped by the octopus's web, a flexible
 sheath used to trap prey. Once you are caught in a
 "web-over," escape will be extremely difficult.
 However, octopi tire easily, so continue to put pres-
 sure on the arms by attempting to swim away. The
 octopus may decide to let you go rather than bring
 ou in for a closer look.
 3 Prevent the octopus's arms from wrapping around
 your arms.

 The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 Includes
 Searchable CD
 With All
 11 Handbooks
 plus wallpapers,
 and more
 By Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht
novelty-gift-ideas:

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Dating, Fire, and Head: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook DATING & SEX By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven, and Ben H. Winters HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOU HAVE EXCESSIVE GAS 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting, and avoid dairy products before your date 2Eat a small meal. Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to precipitate gas 3Avoid gas-forming foods. Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and fruits into gases 4 Drink peppermint tea. Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief from the gas discomfort that follows a meal. 5 Emit the gas in private. As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili- tate the emission of gas as follows Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri- angle with your upper body and the floor Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels, bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form- ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve the pressure. novelty-gift-ideas: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

Dating, Fire, and Head: The COMPLETE WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Handbook DATING & SEX By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven, and Ben H. Winters HOW TO SURVIVE IF YOU HAVE EXCESSIVE GAS 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting, and avoid dairy products before your date 2Eat a small meal. Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to precipitate gas 3Avoid gas-forming foods. Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and fruits into gases 4 Drink peppermint tea. Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief from the gas discomfort that follows a meal. 5 Emit the gas in private. As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili- tate the emission of gas as follows Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri- angle with your upper body and the floor Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels, bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form- ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve the pressure. novelty-gift-ideas: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex
Dating, Fire, and Head: The
 COMPLETE
 WORST-CASE SCENARIO
 Survival Handbook
 DATING & SEX
 By David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven,
 and Ben H. Winters

 HOW TO SURVIVE
 IF YOU HAVE
 EXCESSIVE GAS
 1 Limit your lactose intake during the date
 Many people suffer from an inability to digest milk
 sugar, or lactose. Colon bacteria ferment the milk
 sugar, forming a gas that creates a bloated feeling
 Keep your intake to less than half a cup at a sitting,
 and avoid dairy products before your date
 2Eat a small meal.
 Eating a huge dinner on a date is a sure-fire way to
 precipitate gas
 3Avoid gas-forming foods.
 Bacteria ferment the indigestible carbohydrates in
 beans, broccoli, cabbage, and other vegetables and
 fruits into gases
 4
 Drink peppermint tea.
 Replace an after-dinner drink with a cup or two of
 peppermint tea. This herb may give you some relief
 from the gas discomfort that follows a meal.
 5
 Emit the gas in private.
 As a last resort, head to the bathroom. If you feel
 bloated but are unable to pass gas easily, you can facili-
 tate the emission of gas as follows

 Kneel on the floor, bend forward, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks bigh in the air, forming a tri-
 angle with your upper body and the floor
 Place paper towels on the floor. Kneel on the towels,
 bend forward to the floor, and stretch your arms out in
 front of you. Keep your buttocks high in the air, form-
 ing a triangle with your upper body and the floor. This
 position will force out the unwanted gas and relieve
 the pressure.
novelty-gift-ideas:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating  Sex

novelty-gift-ideas: The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating Sex

Children, Confused, and Family: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
Children, Confused, and Family: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got t...

Facts, Fanfiction, and Harry Potter: Most Common Sentences By Each Author SUZANNE COLLINS Hunger Games Series STEPHENIE MEYER Twilight Series J.K. ROWLING Harry Potter Series My name is Katniss Everdeen. I don't know. I shake my head. I am seventeen years old. My home is District 12. Now I wish I had. I swallowed hard. He hesitates. I'm not really surprised. Something is wrong. Isighed. He sighed. I shrugged. frowned. He chuckled. I laughed. He shrugged I flinched. I took a deep breath. He didn't answer Nothing happened. Harry looked around. Harry stared. He waited. Harry said nothing They looked at each other. Harry blinked. He looked around. Something he didn't have last time. He stood up. Created by OBenBlatt of Slate.com Source: Harry Poeter 1-7, Hunger Games 1-3, Twilight 1-4 december-has-risen: imaginarycircus: jennlferlawrence: frostingpeetaswounds: i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong” the twilight one is like abstract poetry They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn’t remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to. if you read it all three horizontally it sounds like a fanfiction cross over between katniss and harry and the author is making them have a really awkward first meeting
Facts, Fanfiction, and Harry Potter: Most Common Sentences By Each Author
 SUZANNE COLLINS
 Hunger Games Series
 STEPHENIE MEYER
 Twilight Series
 J.K. ROWLING
 Harry Potter Series
 My name is Katniss Everdeen.
 I don't know.
 I shake my head.
 I am seventeen years old.
 My home is District 12.
 Now I wish I had.
 I swallowed hard.
 He hesitates.
 I'm not really surprised.
 Something is wrong.
 Isighed.
 He sighed.
 I shrugged.
 frowned.
 He chuckled.
 I laughed.
 He shrugged
 I flinched.
 I took a deep breath.
 He didn't answer
 Nothing happened.
 Harry looked around.
 Harry stared.
 He waited.
 Harry said nothing
 They looked at each other.
 Harry blinked.
 He looked around.
 Something he didn't have last time.
 He stood up.
 Created by OBenBlatt of Slate.com
 Source: Harry Poeter 1-7, Hunger Games 1-3, Twilight 1-4
december-has-risen:

imaginarycircus:

jennlferlawrence:

frostingpeetaswounds:

i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is wrong”

the twilight one is like abstract poetry

They all kind of read like weird little stories in and of themselves. HG is about an amnesia victim trying to recall the facts people have told her about herself, but which she doesn’t remember. Twilight is a love story about two mimes. And Harry Potter is the tragic story of boy whom absolutely nothing happens to.

if you read it all three horizontally it sounds like a fanfiction cross over between katniss and harry and the author is making them have a really awkward first meeting

december-has-risen: imaginarycircus: jennlferlawrence: frostingpeetaswounds: i laughed so hard at the “i don’t know” and “something is w...

Children, Confused, and Family: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine. what a sweet litter @xubbs
Children, Confused, and Family: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
brandonsgame:

otherwise-called-squidpope:

mrscarstairs:
Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

what a sweet litter

@xubbs

brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmet...

Beautiful, Best Friend, and Bitch: screwdisimgoinhome: that-one-demonic-gay: that-one-demonic-gay: shootingstar912: orihime-maychan: oanimexliveo: halduron-brightwang: astrocmets: vertigo-potato: for-my-sea-of-lillies: acrylic–alien: hazycosmicjive77: bi-mabel-pines: waffelsareevil: daddy-and-his-princess-13: smalllilkitten: gingerbooknerdhufflepuff: flower-whisper: One of a Kind Life Like Enchanting Lunar Moon Light Lamp! Soft Light to give off the Moonlight Vibe for the surrounding area! Make someone’s Day with with one these Unique Lunar Moon Lamp! Currently on Sale and if you use the Code: MOON you get an additional Discount! = GET IT HERE = I WANT THIS I wish I could have it :( i’m fucking crying i NEED MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP I NEEEEED this! Adding to my endless Christmas list! I have one and they are dope!!! I got one of these over the break and it’s great! Sis gave me this for Christmas, it’s even more amazing than I thought cuz when you charge it it’s red like a blood moon, when you unplug it just touch a small silver circle, the only part non identical to the moon’s features, and it lights up, you can make it bright white or yellowish with a tap of the finger, hold the tip of your finger on the same spot to make it brighter or darker. And the details must be 3d printed cause when it lights up its a perfect replica of the moon, even the far side, not like the cheap lumpy knock offs at toy stores, this is a real detailed thoughtful peice of art.Best part, I get to carry the moon around with me to light my path at night, fall asleep reading by moonlight, and guess what…I actually have the moon that people have been fantasizing for centuries about capturing, lassoing, and bringing down to earth as a show of their love.I finally have the moon! My mom fucking got me this for christmas. I am shook my best friend got me this when she visited me irl for the first time and its the best thing ever! i have one of these and absolutely love it everything above is true, but the battery also lasts an incredibly long time! i havent charged mine in at least two weeks and despite leaving it on all night the past few nights the battery isnt dead yet. I want to sit on bed with all the lights off and hold the moon lamp, and basically think about life for a moment bc When I think about this,,, its like, make me free from Anxiety. So this would be beautiful I NEED THIS RN T_T Who else wants twenty of this babies? I ordered this bitch and I can’t fucking wait1! YES! THIS BITCH ARRIVED TODAY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! It also glows red slightly when it charges. Best 40 bucks I’ve even spent! I’ve got one its literally my favorite light it’s the absolute best
Beautiful, Best Friend, and Bitch: screwdisimgoinhome:
that-one-demonic-gay:


that-one-demonic-gay:

shootingstar912:

orihime-maychan:

oanimexliveo:


halduron-brightwang:

astrocmets:

vertigo-potato:

for-my-sea-of-lillies:


acrylic–alien:

hazycosmicjive77:

bi-mabel-pines:

waffelsareevil:


daddy-and-his-princess-13:

smalllilkitten:


gingerbooknerdhufflepuff:


flower-whisper:

One of a Kind Life Like Enchanting Lunar Moon Light Lamp! Soft Light to give off the Moonlight Vibe for the surrounding area! Make someone’s Day with with one these Unique Lunar Moon Lamp!
Currently on Sale and if you use the Code: MOON you get an additional Discount!
= GET IT HERE =


I WANT THIS


I wish I could have it :(


i’m fucking crying i NEED


MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP MOON LAMP


I NEEEEED this! Adding to my endless Christmas list!

I have one and they are dope!!!


I got one of these over the break and it’s great!


Sis gave me this for Christmas, it’s even more amazing than I thought cuz when you charge it it’s red like a blood moon, when you unplug it just touch a small silver circle, the only part non identical to the moon’s features, and it lights up, you can make it bright white or yellowish with a tap of the finger, hold the tip of your finger on the same spot to make it brighter or darker. And the details must be 3d printed cause when it lights up its a perfect replica of the moon, even the far side, not like the cheap lumpy knock offs at toy stores, this is a real detailed thoughtful peice of art.Best part, I get to carry the moon around with me to light my path at night, fall asleep reading by moonlight, and guess what…I actually have the moon that people have been fantasizing for centuries about capturing, lassoing, and bringing down to earth as a show of their love.I finally have the moon!


My mom fucking got me this for christmas. I am shook


my best friend got me this when she visited me irl for the first time and its the best thing ever! 


i have one of these and absolutely love it
everything above is true, but the battery also lasts an incredibly long time! i havent charged mine in at least two weeks and despite leaving it on all night the past few nights the battery isnt dead yet.


I want to sit on bed with all the lights off and hold the moon lamp, and basically think about life for a moment bc When I think about this,,, its like, make me free from Anxiety. So this would be beautiful


I NEED THIS RN T_T


Who else wants twenty of this babies?

I ordered this bitch and I can’t fucking wait1!

YES! THIS BITCH ARRIVED TODAY AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH! It also glows red slightly when it charges. Best 40 bucks I’ve even spent!


I’ve got one its literally my favorite light it’s the absolute best

screwdisimgoinhome: that-one-demonic-gay: that-one-demonic-gay: shootingstar912: orihime-maychan: oanimexliveo: halduron-brightwang: ...