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Friends, Head, and Movies: If a class was filled with every programming language, who would each programming language be? Assembly: He's the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He's considered to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he finishes the exams so quickly it's insane and he faces a lot of difficulties in speaking with others. He's at school but already dressed like an engineer Ada: She's a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer shes doesn't make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She's building a rocketship in her backyard and she's always speaking about this weird hobby Python: He's Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the parties he's invited to. He's good in all the subjects taught in class but he'll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone loves him because he explains things so well, sometimes the teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the course. He's dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on the top of the head Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular She's very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but she's a very talkative person. Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it's often Java who takes the lead in the group. It's very difficult to distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java C: He's the topper of the class. He's so fast in completing the exams that the teacher really thinks he's copying Assembly's work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in common together. He's the chess major and often plays chess with Assembly and his big brother Go: He's the new kid on the bloc. He doesn't like C++ and his friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of course, he prefers playing Go over Chess APL: He's a lonely guy. No one understands him when he speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign country... or a foreign planet? HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression. LaTeX: She's friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a formula on the black board VBA: He's in the back, looking through the windows. Not really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams he answers always with a table C#: He's in the back playing yet another game on his smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTML and CSS. He's as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker Haskell: He's a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn't talk to anyone. He doesn't understand why others write pages when he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question Julia: She's the newest student here. She doesn't have any friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python and as fast as C If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora
Friends, Head, and Movies: If a class was filled with every programming language, who
 would each programming language be?
 Assembly: He's the nerd. He speaks very quickly and uses
 short sentences. Very few people talk to him. He's considered
 to be an autist asperger by a majority of the class because he
 finishes the exams so quickly it's insane and he faces a lot of
 difficulties in speaking with others. He's at school but already
 dressed like an engineer
 Ada: She's a foureyes nerd. When she gets the answer shes
 doesn't make any mistake. Ada often corrects the teacher
 when she writes a line a little ambiguous. She's building a
 rocketship in her backyard and she's always speaking about
 this weird hobby
 Python: He's Mr Popular. He likes skate, brags about all the
 parties he's invited to. He's good in all the subjects taught in
 class but he'll do them a bit slower than the others. Everyone
 loves him because he explains things so well, sometimes the
 teacher herself asks Python to explain some part of the
 course. He's dressed with a hoodie, a baggy and glasses on
 the top of the head
 Java: She is one of the toppers of the class and very popular
 She's very good in all the topics. The teacher loves her but
 she's a very talkative person.
 Scala/Kotlin: They are twin sisters and the best friends of
 Java. Unfortunately, they are not as popular and it's often
 Java who takes the lead in the group. It's very difficult to
 distinguish one from another. Both are far less talkative than
 Java but Scala speaks a bit differently than Kotlin and Java
 C: He's the topper of the class. He's so fast in completing the
 exams that the teacher really thinks he's copying Assembly's
 work. He has a little brother C++ and they share a lot in
 common together. He's the chess major and often plays
 chess with Assembly and his big brother
 Go: He's the new kid on the bloc. He doesn't like C++ and his
 friends and he wants to prove he can do better than them. Of
 course, he prefers playing Go over Chess
 APL: He's a lonely guy. No one understands him when he
 speaks. Even the teacher is surprised when APL shows a
 correct answer after several lines of incomprehensible
 pictograms. People think that he was born in a foreign
 country... or a foreign planet?
 HTML/CSS: These twin brothers are very different. One is
 dressed in black and white and the other is dressed with
 everything except black and white. HTML is very talkative and
 annoying and the CSS is very artistic. CSS is the best student
 in Art lessons and HTML performs well in written expression.
 LaTeX: She's friend of HTML. The teacher likes her because
 she has a gift of writing. LaTeX likes the mathematical
 courses because she can draw fancy greek letters. The
 teacher knows this well and she is often asked to write a
 formula on the black board
 VBA: He's in the back, looking through the windows. Not
 really interested in the courses taught in class. In the exams
 he answers always with a table
 C#: He's in the back playing yet another game on his
 smartphone. He likes being next to the windows also
 JavaScript: People often mix up Java and JavaScript
 because they have a similar name. But they are definitly not
 the same. Javascript spends a lot of time with HTML and
 CSS. He's as artistic as CSS but he prefers things that move
 He likes actions and movies. CSS dreams to be a painter
 wheras JavaScript wants to be a film-maker
 Haskell: He's a goth. Dressed up in dark. Doesn't talk to
 anyone. He doesn't understand why others write pages when
 he can write a couple of lines to answer the same question
 Julia: She's the newest student here. She doesn't have any
 friends yet but her secret aim is to be as popular as Python
 and as fast as C
If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora

If Programming Language were students. Found on Quora

Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been
Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been

bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all...

Blessed, Cats, and Family: PAT petermorwood: surprisekitty: wizardmoon: skypig357: giflounge: 1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so she can shoot some Nazis herself. Blessed post. Good kitty i want someone to read that headline in an old timey reporter voice Okay fun fact: cats were actively deployed to trenches and ships to help deal with rodent infestations in both world wars, and they had the curb cutter effect of keeping the men’s spirits high. One cat, Simon, was given the rank “Able Seacat Simon” after dutifully killing rats and mice that were destroying the HMS Amethyst’s food supplies. The ship had come under fire during the Chinese civil war and many of its crewmen had died. The cat had been gravely injured, too, but he picked out the shrapnel himself – seriously – and went straight to killing the rodents that were overrunning the ship. He unfortunately passed from his injuries two weeks before he was scheduled to receive the Dickin Medal. To this day, he is the only cat to receive this award. Here’s another WW1 trenchcat, who would have been ratter, mouser, companion and gas warning - not AFAIK by dying, like a canary, but since cats reacted to the smell of gas long before it was strong enough for humans to notice, the troops had a bit more time to get their masks on, and the cats went into gasproof boxes. Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of No Man’s Land… Meet Percy, mascot of HMLS (D20) “Daphne” with Lt Drader. Both survived the War, and Percy retired to live out his peacetime life in the Drader family home. (Here’s a video clip; given how noisy, hot and smelly early tanks were, Percy seems remarkably unfazed.)  A US Army tank cat, Mustard of the 321st, with a Renault FT light tank and its driver Sgt Postal… A Royal Artillery kitten (the battery mascot)… Pincher of HMS Vindex on what looks like a Sopwith Pup scout… Togo, ship’s cat of HMS Dreadnought (though I’ve also seen “HMS Irresistible”)… Ship’s cat of HMS Queen Elizabeth atop 15″ main battery… And speaking of big ships and big guns… “Make nice all you like, Human. I despise you. I wanted a billet on a battleship, not this tinpot destroyer…” (Ching, of HMAS Swan.)
Blessed, Cats, and Family: PAT
petermorwood:

surprisekitty:

wizardmoon:

skypig357:

giflounge:
1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so she can shoot some Nazis herself.

Blessed post. Good kitty

i want someone to read that headline in an old timey reporter voice

Okay fun fact: cats were actively deployed to trenches and ships to help deal with rodent infestations in both world wars, and they had the curb cutter effect of keeping the men’s spirits high.
One cat, Simon, was given the rank “Able Seacat Simon” after dutifully killing rats and mice that were destroying the HMS Amethyst’s food supplies. The ship had come under fire during the Chinese civil war and many of its crewmen had died. The cat had been gravely injured, too, but he picked out the shrapnel himself – seriously – and went straight to killing the rodents that were overrunning the ship. He unfortunately passed from his injuries two weeks before he was scheduled to receive the Dickin Medal. To this day, he is the only cat to receive this award.

Here’s another WW1 trenchcat, who would have been ratter, mouser, companion and gas warning - not AFAIK by dying, like a canary, but since cats reacted to the smell of gas long before it was strong enough for humans to notice, the troops had a bit more time to get their masks on, and the cats went into gasproof boxes.
Meanwhile, somewhere on the other side of No Man’s Land…
Meet Percy, mascot of HMLS (D20) “Daphne” with Lt Drader. Both survived the War, and Percy retired to live out his peacetime life in the Drader family home. 

(Here’s a video clip; given how noisy, hot and smelly early tanks were, Percy seems remarkably unfazed.) 
A US Army tank cat, Mustard of the 321st, with a Renault FT light tank and its driver Sgt Postal…
A Royal Artillery kitten (the battery mascot)…
Pincher of HMS Vindex on what looks like a Sopwith Pup scout…
Togo, ship’s cat of HMS Dreadnought (though I’ve also seen “HMS Irresistible”)…
Ship’s cat of HMS Queen Elizabeth atop 15″ main battery…
And speaking of big ships and big guns…
“Make nice all you like, Human. I despise you. I wanted a billet on a battleship, not this tinpot destroyer…” (Ching, of HMAS Swan.)

petermorwood: surprisekitty: wizardmoon: skypig357: giflounge: 1944 - Snowball the cat tries to take over a machine gun in Normandy so s...

Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: blacksirencry: swaglexander-the-great: #That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit  me tryna find out if this fool died “The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.” Holy shit And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!! Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this #AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS  I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN. There are many things that will kill you. [citation needed] There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST. There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in. Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN. Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus. It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish. The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the LD50 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you. DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS. Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE. A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND. Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough. I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin: “Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.” “The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.” Remember how the LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.   I DID SOME MATH.   IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.) Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.” THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY. And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria. Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine. Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE. IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST. And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death. Don’t touch the pretty shells. I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have. You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌
Alive, Anaconda, and Animals: i-should-be-writing-rn:

inlovewithaleheather:

thecuckoohaslanded:


gerbthenerd:

alexander-lamington:


thelizardprincess:


biglawbear:


blacksirencry:

swaglexander-the-great:


#That’s a#That’s a blue ringed octopus#You’re going to die do you realise that#It is literally one of the most deadly animals in the world#Not just in Australia or just in the ocean in THE WORLD#Put it DOWN#And go to a hospital jfc via platonic-rabbit 
me tryna find out if this fool died


“The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill twenty-six adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis start to set in.[8] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available yet, making it one of the deadliest reef inhabitants in the ocean.”
Holy shit


And this is why I don’t go in the ocean anymore


Also the blue rings literally only show up when it is distressed so this person has angered it!!! You are in danger friend!!!


Actually this guy keeps them as pets they’re on his instagram (william_exotique) and he frequently holds then and I just? Don’t know why? And also every picture or video he posts of them shows the blue rings so they’re always in distress I just do not understand why he’s doing this



#AMY EXPLAIN HOW DUMB THIS GUY IS 
I mean OP pretty much covered it.  A blue ringed octopus is almost on the level of CONE SNAIL on the list of things you ABSOLUTELY DO NOT PICK UP UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
But ask and you shall receive,  On this episode of “Fun Facts With Cuckoo,” DEAD.  YOU’RE DEAD.  EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND YOU SHOULD NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING IN THE OCEAN EVER AGAIN.
There are many things that will kill you.

[citation needed]
There are fewer, but still many things that will kill you FAST.
There are yet fewer things that kill you fast and by such an overwhelming margin of overkill that nervous laughter is our only solace in the dark of this terrible, surprisingly Lovecraftian world of unearthly horrors that we live in.
Of the things that I know about which will kill you fast via just plain insultingly potent venom, which is a not insignificant number of things because I know a not insignificant number of things, there are about 3 things in the ocean – IN THE WHOLE OCEAN – which are so insanely, mind-bogglingly deadly that there is pretty much no possible hope for survival (I mean you CAN, but god help you if you’re ever in that situation, because god’s just about damn near the only thing that CAN help you).  THE. WHOLE. OCEAN.
Those three things are the Irukandji (a tiny (1cm) species of box jellyfish, which has stingers not only on its tentacles but on its BELL, for reasons no one has definitively figured out, and is so toxic despite its size its sting can cause a severe brain hemorrhage), the cone snail (a group of carnivorous sea snails that is accepted to be the most venomous animals on earth, with a STUPIDLY fast acting and extremely powerful neurotoxin that has in at least one case killed a human ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY, because the swimmer who found two beautiful shells (unfortunately cone snails tend to have very pretty shells which makes people want to pick them up) was holding them up for a picture and ended up being stabbed in the neck by not one but TWO cone snails at the same time, and it is believed that she was literally dead before she hit the ground, I mean LITERALLY in a 100% non-fictional and non-exaggerated way, in between the time the two cone snails stabbed her and the time her limp body hit the sand, she was not alive anymore), and the blue ringed octopus.
It is POSSIBLE to survive any of these.  But not without immediate medical attention.  Of these three, the Irukandji is by far the most treatable, because Australia and other coastal regions (including Florida and other parts of the US) are kind of experienced in dealing with box jellyfish.
The blue ringed octopus will fucking kill you.  There’s no antidote for their venom, ONE COMPONENT OF WHICH (tetrodotoxin) is 1200 times deadlier than cyanide.  It’s a powerful neurotoxin (most of the worst venoms are because the species that produce them need to kill or at least paralyze their prey quickly, like jellyfish whose fragile tentacles could be damaged if their food doesn’t stop struggling) that attacks the sodium channels and causes muscle paralysis.  It doesn’t necessarily kill you quickly.  It PARALYZES you quickly, so that you can’t really call for help or describe the problem, and you will probably end up slowly suffocating from a paralyzed diaphragm.  Tetrodotoxin can be metabolized by the body in a matter of hours, but it can also kill you in a matter of minutes if you get a lethal dose (which isn’t much, the 

LD50

 or median lethal dose, the dose at which you have a 50% chance of survival, is only 8 MICROGRAMS per kilogram of body weight (as tested in mice)).  This is, by venom standards, not a large amount, which means the animal that is capable of putting this venom inside your body is very very good at killing the absolute shit out of you.
DON’T TOUCH THE BLUE RINGED OCTOPUS.
Now, because overkill is my motto, let me briefly explain why Conus geographus is the undisputed champion of YOU WILL NOT SURVIVE, AND FURTHERMORE FUCK YOU FOR THINKING OTHERWISE.
A cone snail walks into a bar.  You’d expect the bartender to ask, “what’s your poison,” but they were paralyzed before they could ask and OH LOOK they’re already FUCKING DEAD ON THE GROUND.
Conus geographus is about 4-6 inches long and nature’s equivalent of Avada Kedavra.  Cone snails literally have their own KIND of toxins named after them: conotoxin.  Not only is there no antidote, but their venom AGGRESSIVELY RESISTS our ability to find a cure, because we barely understand how it works AND conotoxins are so internally varied, even within a single species, that any one antidote isn’t going to help because they’re constantly mutating and evolving their venom to prevent their prey from evolving a resistance to it.  Plus their venom is like, a bunch of different venoms all at once JUST IN CASE any one of them wasn’t good enough.
I want you to read these two sentences from the wiki page on conotoxin:
“Conotoxins have a variety of mechanisms of actions, most of which have not been determined.”


“The LD50 of conotoxin is 50 ng/kg.”
Remember how the 

LD50 of tetrodotoxin is 8μg/kg?  Conotoxin is 160 times more potent.  FIFTY NANOGRAMS PER KILOGRAM HAS A 50% CHANCE OF KILLING YOU. A 220-POUND HUMAN HAS A 50% CHANCE OF SURVIVAL AGAINST JUST 5 MICROGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN.  
I DID SOME MATH.  
IT WOULD TAKE 7-9 MILLIGRAMS OF CONOTOXIN TO KILL A BLUE WHALE, THE HEAVIEST ANIMAL TO EVER LIVE. (based on weight estimates from 300-400,000 lbs.)
Conus geographus is so fucking deadly that “In two cases of envenomation, only 0.0002-0.0005 mg resulted in severe paralysis.”
THIS THING KILLS STUFF SO HARD THAT BEFORE YOU HEAR THE FIRST “MORTAL KOMBAT” IN THE MORTAL KOMBAT THEME, THERE’S PROBABLY ALREADY BEEN A FATALITY.
And guess what?  Cone snails don’t do that NOOB SHIT with the superficial biting or stinging.  Your wetsuit or gloves won’t protect you.  Because homeboy didn’t bring teeth to evolution’s knife fight.  Oh no.  It brought a motherfucking radula POISON HARPOON.  It’s lightning fast and has way more piercing power than some silly little cnidocytes or salivary bacteria.
Another component of their venom is being researched for its potential as a pain reliever.  “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT????” you might reasonably ask.  And you would be right to do so, because science has gone too far and has surely sinned against the very image of Mollusca Kedavra.  Well, it turns out the answer is “Research shows that certain component proteins of the venom target specific human pain receptors and can be up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine without morphine’s addictive properties and side-effects.”  That’s right, the part of their venom that SPECIFICALLY DOESN’T HURT YOU is up to 10,000 times more potent than morphine.
Also, Conus geographus (along with one other cone snail species, C. tulipa) is the only known non-human animal to weaponize insulin.  In addition to the normal insulin that the snails produce for their own use, their bodies manufacture an ADDITIONAL insulin molecule that is similar to the kind produced in fish (which they eat) for the sole purpose of stunning their prey through hypoglycemic shock.  BECAUSE APPARENTLY THEY DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’D KILL YOU HARD ENOUGH OTHERWISE.
IF you are going to survive the ALMIGHTY CONE SNAIL, WHO KNOWS NO FEAR, TRIUMPHANT HEDGEMON OF THE MOLECULAR ARMS RACE, TRUE BORN HEIR TO THE SCYTHE OF DEATH ITSELF, FISHSLAYER, GOD AMONG MOLLUSKS, WHOSE WRATH IS MERCIFUL ONLY IN ITS BREVITY, ADMIRABLE IN ITS BEAUTY AND UNSULLIED BY THE UNWORTHY TOUCH OF MORTAL HANDS OR SCALES OR REALLY ANYTHING IN RANGE OF ITS RADULA HARPOON, then literally the only thing that’s going to save you is for you to be kept alive artificially (externalizing your respiratory functions to force your body to continue breathing, basically) until the effects of the venom wear off.  And because of how quickly this venom acts, you need to get that medical attention VERY, VERY FAST.
And if you don’t get it, you will still be conscious while the paralysis slowly suffocates you to death.
Don’t touch the pretty shells.


I’ve never been so intrigued to learn how easily I could be fucking exterminated from existence by the overpowered sea creatures of the world. You’ve done a better job at keeping my attention then any of my teachers ever have.


You know what I’m putting this on the writing blog cause I personally can see potential in some fantasy villain attempting to weaponise cone snailsIn which case, all hail snail king 🐌

i-should-be-writing-rn: inlovewithaleheather: thecuckoohaslanded: gerbthenerd: alexander-lamington: thelizardprincess: biglawbear: ...

Click, Empire, and Fall: Iceland Independence Day Komi Republic Text and graphics Theo Deutinger, Filip Cieloch and Lucia de Usera Faroe Islands shan Throughout history, the borders of Europe have constantly a. Basque Country changed. Unfortunately, shifting borders are usually the outcome LaRioja of conflict, as exemplified by the dissolution of Yugoslavia. Yet 6n armed conflict is avoidable, as shown by the emergence of the 7.Free County post-Soviet states and the peaceful divorce of Czechoslovakia in 1993. Just a year ago, one might have thought that a more mature 10.Switzertand world was evolving - one in which the pursuit of sovereignty could 11.5ao be settled without gunfire- but in light of the war in Ukraine and 13. Liguria ISIL's desire for an Islamic caliphate, global sanity seems more 1. Tieino unachievable than ever, Jämtland O0ster Shetland Outer Hebrides Orkney Islands Udmurtia Sweden Estonia Tatarstan Bashkortostan The concept of nation-state sovereignty beganth euth tyrol Chuvashia Northumberland the Peace of Westphalia in 1648 and is based on territoriality and 19 of ManDenmark Friui-Venezia Giutia the absence of a role for external agents in domestic structures. 20.istria ber that had declined to about 70 at the end of the 19 century, Bonia Herzegovina eign states. Republika Srpska In 1648 the world consisted of some 80 sovereign states, a num-22. Croatian Rep of Ireland Mordovia when it began to grow again. Today's world comprises 20andnk Wales Mercia Together with the rise of the modern state, the accuracy of national boundaries increased as well, thanks to modern 28. Northern Epirus Kazakhstan Germany surveying techniques (triangulation) and the consequent pro- 3Shlesaig-Holssein duction of highly detailed maps. Precisely drawn borders have 31. Karachay-Cherkessia not led to greater stability, however, but to even more sensitivityAbiahazia among nations. A study of the number and size of nation states 34. South Ossetia concludes that one result of democratization and economic 35. Ingushetia integration is ever more countries. As Marshall McLuhan points 37 out in The Gutenberg Galaxy, literacy is another determining 38. Adjara Netherlands Guernsey Isle of Wigh Jersey O P Brittany bourg factor, as most states that have formed over the past 150 years Nagorno Karabakh Car ORostov Slovakia Ruthenia have appeared along language lines, and people who can read and write are aware of the cultural impact of word-based com- Austria Transnistria Russia The collapse of hegemonic empires has also served as Galicia Hungary Kr midwife at the birth of nation states. The end of the Roman Empire marked an increase in the number of European states, which had risen from 37 to 1 14 by 1300, a development compara- ble to the proliferation of sovereign states in East-Central Europe Portuga Occitania ia gauzia Croatia 三 ezgistar Romania since the fall of the Communist regime. The process of autonomy Monaco has slowed down but not halted; in Western Europe it is fed by subsidies from the European Union, a Marino Bul nd in Eastern Europe it is triggered by Russia's autocratic government. Both systems have an expiration date and should be prepared for a higher diversity o Valencia of sovereign states. It is to be hoped that, at the very least, the nations of Western Europe understand the concept of a peaceful divorce and the need to respect another's point of view. Andalusia Balearic Islands .Alberto Alesina and Enrico Spolaore, On the Number and Sine of Sardinia Notions, The Quartery Journal of Economies, Vol. 112, Na.4 (Now. 1007) 2. Marshall McLuhan, The Gutenberg Golaxy The Making ef Typogrophic Mon, Univeesity of Toronto Press, 1962 3. Chiu Yu Ko, Mark Koyama and Tuan-Hwee Sng, Unified China _ Iraq and Divided Europe, June 2014 ru Malta land-of-maps: Independence Day : what Europe would look if separatist movement got their wish [5335 × 3205]CLICK HERE FOR MORE MAPS!
Click, Empire, and Fall: Iceland
 Independence Day
 Komi Republic
 Text and graphics Theo Deutinger, Filip Cieloch and Lucia de Usera
 Faroe Islands shan
 Throughout history, the borders of Europe have constantly a. Basque Country
 changed. Unfortunately, shifting borders are usually the outcome LaRioja
 of conflict, as exemplified by the dissolution of Yugoslavia. Yet 6n
 armed conflict is avoidable, as shown by the emergence of the 7.Free County
 post-Soviet states and the peaceful divorce of Czechoslovakia in
 1993. Just a year ago, one might have thought that a more mature 10.Switzertand
 world was evolving - one in which the pursuit of sovereignty could 11.5ao
 be settled without gunfire- but in light of the war in Ukraine and 13. Liguria
 ISIL's desire for an Islamic caliphate, global sanity seems more 1. Tieino
 unachievable than ever,
 Jämtland
 O0ster
 Shetland
 Outer Hebrides Orkney
 Islands
 Udmurtia
 Sweden
 Estonia
 Tatarstan Bashkortostan
 The concept of nation-state sovereignty beganth euth tyrol
 Chuvashia
 Northumberland
 the Peace of Westphalia in 1648 and is based on territoriality and 19
 of ManDenmark
 Friui-Venezia Giutia
 the absence of a role for external agents in domestic structures. 20.istria
 ber that had declined to about 70 at the end of the 19 century, Bonia Herzegovina
 eign states.
 Republika Srpska
 In 1648 the world consisted of some 80 sovereign states, a num-22. Croatian Rep of
 Ireland
 Mordovia
 when it began to grow again. Today's world comprises 20andnk
 Wales Mercia
 Together with the rise of the modern state, the accuracy
 of national boundaries increased as well, thanks to modern 28. Northern Epirus
 Kazakhstan
 Germany
 surveying techniques (triangulation) and the consequent pro- 3Shlesaig-Holssein
 duction of highly detailed maps. Precisely drawn borders have 31. Karachay-Cherkessia
 not led to greater stability, however, but to even more sensitivityAbiahazia
 among nations. A study of the number and size of nation states 34. South Ossetia
 concludes that one result of democratization and economic 35. Ingushetia
 integration is ever more countries. As Marshall McLuhan points 37
 out in The Gutenberg Galaxy, literacy is another determining 38. Adjara
 Netherlands
 Guernsey Isle of Wigh
 Jersey
 O P
 Brittany
 bourg
 factor, as most states that have formed over the past 150
 years Nagorno Karabakh
 Car
 ORostov
 Slovakia
 Ruthenia
 have appeared along language lines, and people who can read
 and write are aware of the cultural impact of word-based com-
 Austria
 Transnistria
 Russia
 The collapse of hegemonic empires has also served as
 Galicia
 Hungary
 Kr
 midwife at the birth of nation states. The end of the Roman
 Empire marked an increase in the number of European states,
 which had risen from 37 to 1 14 by 1300, a development compara-
 ble to the proliferation of sovereign states in East-Central Europe Portuga
 Occitania
 ia
 gauzia
 Croatia
 三
 ezgistar
 Romania
 since the fall of the Communist regime. The process of autonomy
 Monaco
 has slowed down but not halted; in Western Europe it is fed by
 subsidies from the European Union, a
 Marino
 Bul
 nd in Eastern Europe it is
 triggered by Russia's autocratic government. Both systems have
 an expiration date and should be prepared for a higher diversity
 o Valencia
 of sovereign states. It is to be hoped that, at the very least, the
 nations of Western Europe understand the concept of a peaceful
 divorce and the need to respect another's point of view.
 Andalusia
 Balearic Islands
 .Alberto Alesina and Enrico Spolaore, On the Number and Sine of
 Sardinia
 Notions, The Quartery Journal of Economies, Vol. 112, Na.4 (Now. 1007)
 2. Marshall McLuhan, The Gutenberg Golaxy The Making ef
 Typogrophic Mon, Univeesity of Toronto Press, 1962
 3. Chiu Yu Ko, Mark Koyama and Tuan-Hwee Sng, Unified China
 _
 Iraq
 and Divided Europe, June 2014
 ru
 Malta
land-of-maps:

Independence Day : what Europe would look if separatist movement got their wish [5335 × 3205]CLICK HERE FOR MORE MAPS!

land-of-maps: Independence Day : what Europe would look if separatist movement got their wish [5335 × 3205]CLICK HERE FOR MORE MAPS!

Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow stormcloak Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara OH MY GOD Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the movie Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer) gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long enough for him to finish the beast off for good The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride into battle against the forces of evil once more The credits roll Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his arms around himself to fight off the cold He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a threat to the two "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the Birdwell Island incident." "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously. gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly excited to talk with you. You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you work for?" The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative. mo re Fun on likealaugh.org I Would Watch It
Animals, Desperate, and Dogs: sistercrow
 stormcloak
 Cilford the Big Red Dog by Sandara
 OH MY GOD
 Can we have a Clifford live action movie? Not a kids movie either
 Like, Emily Elizabeth's parents are working for a government agency
 developing a super soldier serum. None of their testing is working and
 they start testing the serum on larger mammals in hopes of seeing
 better results. They inject a variety of animals, including a dog
 Nothing. They are desperate and on the verge of having their project
 shut down when they notice one of the test dogs is pregnant. It gives
 birth and they bring one of the puppies home for their daughter
 To their shock, the puppy they brought home starts to grow at an
 incredible rate, its fur mutating into a brilliant red as it does so. They
 are ecstatic because their research has finally seen a result, albeit
 one they weren't expecting. There is only one problem
 Clifford has become attached to Emily and refuses to leave her side
 Emily, too, has fallen in love with her new pet. They decide to let their
 project be canceled rather than try to separate the two. Unfortunately
 the government discovers their secret and begins a campaign to
 retrieve Clifford at any costs. During the initial conflict, Emily
 Elizabeth's parents are killed trying to help her and Clifford escape
 Emily and her dog flee into the wild. This sets the opening of the
 movie
 Over the course of the movie, Emily and Clifford are on the run and
 we see Emily grow into a young woman, everything about her honed
 into a survivalist expert. She and Clifford roam the backwoods
 constantly in fear of being captured. On one of her rare trips into towrn
 one day, Emily witnesses a bank robbery in progress involving multiple
 hostages. She calls Clifford and the two of them save the lives of the
 hostages but wreck the bank in the process. The local news capture
 footage of Clifford and it isn't long before the military arrives in town
 Emily wants to just run away again, but she sees that the military is
 destroying the town, driving people out of their homes and destroying
 property in their search. She decides that enough is enough and rides
 Clifford back into town and fights the military. Amidst the fighting a
 huge truck arrives. A general (who was her parent's superior officer)
 gets out and smirks. He tells Emily Elizabeth that Clifford's mother
 wasn't the only animal that gave birth to a litter of babies after
 receiving an injection. The back of the truck unfolds to reveal a
 massive tabby cat. The cat strains against its bindings and tears free
 immediately leaping onto a nearby group of soldiers and devouring
 them. Emily is horrified and orders Clifford to attack
 What follows is the dramatic battle between Clifford and the mutant
 cat. Clifford has strength, but the cat is too fast and agile. It looks like
 Clifford is down for the count, when the townsfolk, recognizing that
 Clifford is on their side, come to his aid. They distract the cat long
 enough for him to finish the beast off for good
 The military retreats, the general swearing vengeance on the two of
 them, and Emily and Clifford ride off into the night once more. But the
 legend of the big red dog has already started. And Emily Elizabeth
 knows that the day will come when she and Clifford will need to ride
 into battle against the forces of evil once more
 The credits roll
 Post credits, the screen fades to black for a moment. The sound of
 waves crashing on shore fills the air. The screen flashes brilliant white
 The light of the lighthouse moves on, revealing a rocky shore on a
 rainy day. The camera pans down to find Clifford and Emily gazing out
 to sea. A massive object hangs in the air off the coast, obscured in
 the clouds. A smaller object rapidly approaches them. It resolves itseltf
 into an advanced helicopter that silently lands just down the shore
 from them. Clifford lets out a low growl but Emily quiets him with a
 hand on his leg. A lone figure emerges from the aircraft, huddling his
 arms around himself to fight off the cold
 He approaches the two. His hair is short and somewhat curly. He
 wears glasses and a grey flannel shirt and seems unlikely to pose a
 threat to the two
 "Emily Elizabeth," he says over the sound of the crashing surf, "I
 worked with your parents. It's taken us a while to find you, after the
 Birdwell Island incident."
 "And who exactly is 'us'," she responds, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
 gnoring her question, the man continues. "Me and Clifford have a lot
 in common, actually. He smiles a little awkwardly, then presses on. "I
 was hoping you might be interested in meeting my boss. He's fairly
 excited to talk with you.
 You still haven't answered my question. Who are you and who do you
 work for?"
 The man smiles. "My name is Banner. And I'm hear to talk to you
 about the Avengers Initiative.
 mo
 re Fun on likealaugh.org
I Would Watch It

I Would Watch It