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    viral: bisexualbaker:

bisexualbaker:
thwippersnapple:
Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it!
[Image one: Tweet from Chuck Tingle ( @ChuckTingle ): please enjoy new full length adult romance novel (52000 words) in paperback or ebook about the best wizard: TRANS WIZARD HARRIET PORBER AND THE BAD BOY PARASAUROLOPHUS available now also trans rights amazon.com/dp/B08B386R6J ]
[Image two: Cover of the aforementioned Harriet Porber novel; Harriet is front and center, a young trans woman with light skin, long dark hair, and glasses; she has a wand raised in her right hand. Behind her are a mammoth in a wizardā€™s hat, an anthropomorphic duck-billed dinosaur, and a motorcycle with the head of a woman.]
Chuck Tingle is a gift.

OMG the summary:
Trans wizard Harriet Porber is a master spellsmith whoā€™s found herself 
in a bit of a pickle. After finishing wizard college, Harriet made a 
name for herself by creating a hit viral spell, but has since failed to 
craft a follow up. Now Harrietā€™s agent, Minerma, is breathing down her 
neck, suggesting that Harriet take a trip to an island off the coast of 
England for inspiration.Hoping for some peace and quiet to clear
 her head, Harriet Porber arrives to find that her new neighbor, an 
angsty bard named Snabe from the band Seven Inch Nails, is already there
 making a racket. This parasaurolophus spellcaster is a bad boy through 
and through, and with his incredible powers of metamagic, Snabe reveals 
that this layer of reality is much more than it seems. Could Harriet and
 Snabe really be characters in a parody romance novel?Soon 
enough, these two are discovering they have more similarities than 
differences: both trans, both strong, and both hoping to create a new 
spell that will change the world. But with the addition of two devious 
sentient motorcycles to the mix, Dellatrix and Braco, things start to 
get complicated.Now trans wizard Harriet Porber is caught up in a
 tale of magic and mystery where nothing is as it seems, except for one 
universal truth: love is real.This is a 52,000 word bad boy romance novel for adults. It contains some explicit scenes.


    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: bisexualbaker:

bisexualbaker:
thwippersnapple:
Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it!
[Image one: Tweet from Chuck Tingle ( @ChuckTingle ): please enjoy new full length adult romance novel (52000 words) in paperback or ebook about the best wizard: TRANS WIZARD HARRIET PORBER AND THE BAD BOY PARASAUROLOPHUS available now also trans rights amazon.com/dp/B08B386R6J ]
[Image two: Cover of the aforementioned Harriet Porber novel; Harriet is front and center, a young trans woman with light skin, long dark hair, and glasses; she has a wand raised in her right hand. Behind her are a mammoth in a wizardā€™s hat, an anthropomorphic duck-billed dinosaur, and a motorcycle with the head of a woman.]
Chuck Tingle is a gift.

OMG the summary:
Trans wizard Harriet Porber is a master spellsmith whoā€™s found herself 
in a bit of a pickle. After finishing wizard college, Harriet made a 
name for herself by creating a hit viral spell, but has since failed to 
craft a follow up. Now Harrietā€™s agent, Minerma, is breathing down her 
neck, suggesting that Harriet take a trip to an island off the coast of 
England for inspiration.Hoping for some peace and quiet to clear
 her head, Harriet Porber arrives to find that her new neighbor, an 
angsty bard named Snabe from the band Seven Inch Nails, is already there
 making a racket. This parasaurolophus spellcaster is a bad boy through 
and through, and with his incredible powers of metamagic, Snabe reveals 
that this layer of reality is much more than it seems. Could Harriet and
 Snabe really be characters in a parody romance novel?Soon 
enough, these two are discovering they have more similarities than 
differences: both trans, both strong, and both hoping to create a new 
spell that will change the world. But with the addition of two devious 
sentient motorcycles to the mix, Dellatrix and Braco, things start to 
get complicated.Now trans wizard Harriet Porber is caught up in a
 tale of magic and mystery where nothing is as it seems, except for one 
universal truth: love is real.This is a 52,000 word bad boy romance novel for adults. It contains some explicit scenes.


                
            

            
            
bisexualbaker:

bisexualbaker:
thwippersnapple:
Tingle just cranked out 50k words for a spite story for JKR and I am LIVING for it!
[Imag...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    viral: This needs to go viral
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: This needs to go viral
                
            

            
            
This needs to go viral

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    viral: normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
Ā - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOLĀ - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITREĀ - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITICĀ - ā€œWHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?ā€œĀ - INRIĀ - ā€œIS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?ā€œ ā€œIDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRDā€œĀ - ā€œWHAT ABOUT WATER?ā€œ ā€œDUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIACā€œĀ - ā€œWHICH WATER ZODIAC?ā€œ ā€œIT DOESNā€™T MATTERā€œĀ - ā€œPUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANTā€œĀ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but Iā€™m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which Iā€™m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ā€œGOODā€ AND ā€œBADā€ SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. Thatā€™s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT 
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


normal-horoscopes:


trashcollectshere:

normal-horoscopes:


alchemicwizard:

normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:
NOT TO DUNK ON THE ROSICRUCIANS BUT THE ROSY CROSS IS THE UGLIEST THING EVER
Ā - HEBREW CHARACTERS FOR A CHRISTIAN ESOTERIC SYMBOLĀ - FOUR USES OF THE ALKALAI SYMBOL BUT NO USES OF NITREĀ - NICE HEXAGRAM STAR TRUST US WE ARENT ANTISEMITICĀ - ā€œWHAT IF WE INCORPORATED COLOR INTO THE WORKING?ā€œĀ - INRIĀ - ā€œIS THERE A SYMBOL FOR AIR?ā€œ ā€œIDK DUDE JUST DRAW A BIRDā€œĀ - ā€œWHAT ABOUT WATER?ā€œ ā€œDUDE JUST PICK A WATER ZODIACā€œĀ - ā€œWHICH WATER ZODIAC?ā€œ ā€œIT DOESNā€™T MATTERā€œĀ - ā€œPUT GOLD OVER THE R IN REX SO PEOPLE KNOW ITS IMPORTANTā€œĀ - OCCULT GRAPHIC DESIGN IS MY PASSION

Literally every aspect of it is just awful. My Hebrew isnt as good as it should be but Iā€™m 99% certain that Hebrew is complete gibberish. 
ALSO the water symbol looks like aquarius which Iā€™m sure pretty much everyone is aware is an air sign. What a fucking mess. 
I remember when we studied these losers in my art and occulture class I had to leave the room because I was laughing too hard at how much they suck. 

IT IS GIBBERISH BC ITS JUST THE ENTIRE ALPHABETWHICH IS LIKE AN INSECURE CHEF GETTING NERVOUS AND JUST PUTTING EVERY SEASONING THEY HAVE INTO THE POT 



I dont do occult stuff but i assume this is a mess to look at knowing the meaning but. Not knowing? The colors are awful, the symbols are placed carefully but look hard to decipher. The letters are hard to read and all around this could probably be replaced with something much easier to comphrehend and use.

EXACTLY
THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ā€œGOODā€ AND ā€œBADā€ SIGILWORK
TO SOMEONE WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF THE OCCULT THE ROSY CROSS /FEELS/ LIKE IT HAS POWER BUT IT ALSO FEELS JUMBLED MESSY OVERLY COMPLICATED AND JUST PLAIN UGLY 
WHEN IT COMES TO SIGILWORK INTRICACY = POWER BUT CLARITY = ACCURACY AND THE ROSY CROSS FAILS ON BOTH FRONTS 



You wanna know what the kicker is. Aquarius *is* the symbol for air here. The upper left point of a pentagram is attributed to air. The elemental points are assigned to the fixed signs of the zodiac. Thatā€™s why we see Taurus, Leo, and Aquarius. The water point is attributed to Scorpio, but they drew an EAGLE INSTEAD OF THE SYMBOL FOR SCORPIO BECAUSE FUCK IT NOTHING MATTERS



SEE THEY ALREADY USED SCORPIO ON BEING ANTISEMITIC ON THE INRI DIAGRAM 



This looks like a fucking board game.



OH MY GOD YOURE RIGHT
IT LOOKS LIKE A PART TO SOME REDICULOUSLY COMPLEX BOARD GAME YOUR FRIEND SWORE IS THE FUNNEST THING EVER 
THE ROSY CROSS TAKES 90 MINUTES TO SET UP AND HAS FOUR DIFFERENT DECKS OF CARDS SPECIAL DICE AND TWO DIFFERENT PLASTIC HOURGLASSES 

@normal-horoscopes This reminds me of the Hermetic Chess invented by the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. Right down to being too colorful and overly complicated


HANG ON I NEED TO GOOGLE SOME THINGS 


MERCIFUL NIGHT 
                
            

            
            
normal-horoscopes:

normal-horoscopes:

occultbreakfast:

normal-horoscopes:

viral-witchcraft:


normal-horoscopes:


pieandhotdogs:


n...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: Please make this go viral and spread it everywhere, not corona though.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: Please make this go viral and spread it everywhere, not corona though.
                
            

            
            
Please make this go viral and spread it everywhere, not corona though.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: Viral Pride
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: Viral Pride
                
            

            
            
Viral Pride

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: Viral Pride by IdaBaldwin
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: Viral Pride by IdaBaldwin
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Viral Pride by IdaBaldwin
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    viral: Viral.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: Viral.
                
            

            
            
Viral.

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    viral: A profile that could go viral
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: A profile that could go viral
                
            

            
            
A profile that could go viral

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: The revolution is going viral, comrades
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: The revolution is going viral, comrades
                
            

            
            
The revolution is going viral, comrades

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    viral: 36 Just Viral Funny Memes Pictures Dump of the Day - JustViral.Net
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: 36 Just Viral Funny Memes Pictures Dump of the Day - JustViral.Net
                
            

            
            
36 Just Viral Funny Memes Pictures Dump of the Day - JustViral.Net

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: 36 Just Viral Funny Memes Pictures Dump of the Day - JustViral.Net
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: 36 Just Viral Funny Memes Pictures Dump of the Day - JustViral.Net
                
            

            
            
36 Just Viral Funny Memes Pictures Dump of the Day - JustViral.Net

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: This person was celebrating being cancer free on twitter to their 12 followers. They went viral and got a lot of support and now have 25,000 followers. Tell the world sweetie, youā€™ve earned it.
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: This person was celebrating being cancer free on twitter to their 12 followers. They went viral and got a lot of support and now have 25,000 followers. Tell the world sweetie, youā€™ve earned it.
                
            

            
            
This person was celebrating being cancer free on twitter to their 12 followers. They went viral and got a lot of support and now have 25,...

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: Viral memes
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: Viral memes
                
            

            
            
Viral memes

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: Poor yoda by viral-architect
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: Poor yoda by viral-architect
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
Poor yoda by viral-architect
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    viral: The Popeyes Chicken Lady Disappears After Sandwich Goes Viral (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: The Popeyes Chicken Lady Disappears After Sandwich Goes Viral (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)
                
            

            
            
The Popeyes Chicken Lady Disappears After Sandwich Goes Viral (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            







    viral: The Popeyes Chicken Lady Disappears After Sandwich Goes Viral by tsiikiiko
MORE MEMES
    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: The Popeyes Chicken Lady Disappears After Sandwich Goes Viral by tsiikiiko
MORE MEMES
                
            

            
            
The Popeyes Chicken Lady Disappears After Sandwich Goes Viral by tsiikiiko
MORE MEMES

            
            
        

    



        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            






        

        
        

            







    viral: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just donā€™t understand how this happened. But hereā€™s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoĒ˜Ģ»Ģ¬Ķ“ĶŽĢ£ĢŸĢ©Ģ¦Ķ¢ ĶŖĢ‚Ģ€Ģ†Ņ‰Ģ³Ģ˜ĢĢŗĢ€lĶ‡Ģ¬Ģ¹ĢžĢ»Ģ„Ķ•Ģ„Ģ—Ģ’ĢŽĶ©Ģ‹Ķ„Ķ†eĶ™Ģ­Ģ­Ģ Ģ£Ģ ĢŠĢĶ©Ģ‚Ģ“Ģ€į¹ƒĢ›ĢĢ‚Ķ›ĢˆĢoĢ ĢŖĢŖĶ¤Ķ—Ķ˜nĢµĶ‰Ģ£Ķ­Ķ§ĢæĶ§Ķ›Ģ€sĢ·Ģ Ķ‘Ķ¬Ķ«Ķ¦Ģ…Ķ” ĢøĶĶ¤Ķ˜Ņ‰Ģ¦ĢŗMĢ°Ģ¹Ķ™Ķ‡Ķ®Ģ‰Ķ«Ķ…ȦĢ»Ģ”Ģ…Ģ‡Ģ‘Ķ­Ķ›Ķ‹Ķ˜KĢ Ģ»Ģ«Ģ¤Ģ‡Ģ€Ķ„EĶ‚ĶŖĶĢ±Ģ¤ĶšĶ• ĢžĶ”ĢœĢ¬Ģ‘ĶÆĶ‘Ķ¢Ķ…ÅžĶ”Ģ¦Ģ©Ģ³Ģ£Ģ–Ķ®ĶŠĶØAĶˆĢ“Ķ‚ĢˆĢĢ€Ģ€ĢšĶ˜CĢ”Ģ ĢŸĶ‰ĶŖĶ†Ģ”Ķ¤Ķ‚ĶŖRĢ¬Ķ™Ķ•ĶŖĢ€Ķ ÄØĢµĢ–ĶšĢ‘ĢŠĢ“ĢFĶŽĶ•Ģ„IĶ¬Ķ§Ģ€Ģ‚Ģ‘ĶŖĶŸĶĢ“ĢŖĢ¤Ķ…CĢ¢Ģ°ĢĶ“Ģ—Ķ›Ķ¬Ģ”ĢĢ“ĢĢĢšĢšįø˜Ģ¶Ģ Ģ°Ģ³Ģ©Ģ³ĢŠĶ­Ķ®Ģ‡Ģ‡ĢšĢ•SĢ»Ķ–Ģ£Ģ°Ģ’ĢˆĶŸ

itā€™s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the cityā€™s attention an irregularity surrounding this summerā€™s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddhaā€™s hand to me
theyā€™re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddhaā€™s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddhaā€™s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twistyĀ ā€˜armsā€™ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddhaā€™s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.Ā 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.Ā 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uhā€¦ itā€™s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
Itā€™s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.Ā  YAMAOG also finds out that itā€™s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhuddaā€™s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.Ā  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If youā€™ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If itā€™s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like itā€™s actually rotting, itā€™s safe to eat!Ā  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

    

        
        
        
        
        
        
        
        
    

    

        

            
            

                
                viral: arianod:
rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just donā€™t understand how this happened. But hereā€™s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoĒ˜Ģ»Ģ¬Ķ“ĶŽĢ£ĢŸĢ©Ģ¦Ķ¢ ĶŖĢ‚Ģ€Ģ†Ņ‰Ģ³Ģ˜ĢĢŗĢ€lĶ‡Ģ¬Ģ¹ĢžĢ»Ģ„Ķ•Ģ„Ģ—Ģ’ĢŽĶ©Ģ‹Ķ„Ķ†eĶ™Ģ­Ģ­Ģ Ģ£Ģ ĢŠĢĶ©Ģ‚Ģ“Ģ€į¹ƒĢ›ĢĢ‚Ķ›ĢˆĢoĢ ĢŖĢŖĶ¤Ķ—Ķ˜nĢµĶ‰Ģ£Ķ­Ķ§ĢæĶ§Ķ›Ģ€sĢ·Ģ Ķ‘Ķ¬Ķ«Ķ¦Ģ…Ķ” ĢøĶĶ¤Ķ˜Ņ‰Ģ¦ĢŗMĢ°Ģ¹Ķ™Ķ‡Ķ®Ģ‰Ķ«Ķ…ȦĢ»Ģ”Ģ…Ģ‡Ģ‘Ķ­Ķ›Ķ‹Ķ˜KĢ Ģ»Ģ«Ģ¤Ģ‡Ģ€Ķ„EĶ‚ĶŖĶĢ±Ģ¤ĶšĶ• ĢžĶ”ĢœĢ¬Ģ‘ĶÆĶ‘Ķ¢Ķ…ÅžĶ”Ģ¦Ģ©Ģ³Ģ£Ģ–Ķ®ĶŠĶØAĶˆĢ“Ķ‚ĢˆĢĢ€Ģ€ĢšĶ˜CĢ”Ģ ĢŸĶ‰ĶŖĶ†Ģ”Ķ¤Ķ‚ĶŖRĢ¬Ķ™Ķ•ĶŖĢ€Ķ ÄØĢµĢ–ĶšĢ‘ĢŠĢ“ĢFĶŽĶ•Ģ„IĶ¬Ķ§Ģ€Ģ‚Ģ‘ĶŖĶŸĶĢ“ĢŖĢ¤Ķ…CĢ¢Ģ°ĢĶ“Ģ—Ķ›Ķ¬Ģ”ĢĢ“ĢĢĢšĢšįø˜Ģ¶Ģ Ģ°Ģ³Ģ©Ģ³ĢŠĶ­Ķ®Ģ‡Ģ‡ĢšĢ•SĢ»Ķ–Ģ£Ģ°Ģ’ĢˆĶŸ

itā€™s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the cityā€™s attention an irregularity surrounding this summerā€™s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddhaā€™s hand to me
theyā€™re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddhaā€™s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddhaā€™s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twistyĀ ā€˜armsā€™ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddhaā€™s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.Ā 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.Ā 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uhā€¦ itā€™s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
Itā€™s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.Ā  YAMAOG also finds out that itā€™s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhuddaā€™s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.Ā  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If youā€™ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If itā€™s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like itā€™s actually rotting, itā€™s safe to eat!Ā  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

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arianod:
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alexander-lamington:

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jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

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    viral: You
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                viral: You
 ARE!!
Whoā€™s reading a new dump because imgur didnā€™t like my last one going most viral?
                
            

            
            
Whoā€™s reading a new dump because imgur didnā€™t like my last one going most viral?