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Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke and the girl under his bed starts laughing too Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you “ight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. “I don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.
Android, Bad, and Chill: When you tell your boyfriend a joke
 and the girl under his bed starts
 laughing too
Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find another dollar, are you not going to pick it up? Long story short my girl was out of town at her friends graduation. She left me a spear key to come feed her dog through out the week. I did the opposite, I treated him like Gary the snail. I had my side girl over bout to get busy. You know that deep gut feeling that tells you “ight chill out” but you ignore it? That be God mercy tryna save you. I’m catching some bomb neck, I’m talking about My meat going through a 5 star car wash when I hear a engine pull up out front. I look out the window and see my girl hop out a Uber. My side girl hid under the bed. I can tell She done this before. I slid under the sheets and fake sleep. My girl comes in talking about she changed her flight to come home sooner. Android users text take 3 business days. Babe starts asking me what’s her favorite color. I confidently blurted our magenta. Here comes her dog with a red thong in his mouth. Damn dogs can’t stick together? The FBI agent in her came out and starts interrogating me. Under her sheets I’m getting my dick rode by bed bugs during the interrogation process. Im tryna figure how to get this girl out this crib before I’m toast. My girl mid way through her sentence when you hear a sneeze under her bed. Within seconds my girl downloaded a heart beat sensor. I swear Android users got it good. This is now modern warfare. I watch my girl play search&destroy with my side chick. Side chicks heartless so she couldn’t detect her. Me being the real nigga I am had to flip the whole situation on her. “I don’t like how you assume me as a black man cheat, if you don’t trust me Idk about this” Tears in my eyes because it smelled like fish cakes and my eyes couldn’t take it. My girl felt bad and hit me with the double hand twist Gawk combo. My girl said she was coming back Sunday and came back Friday. She lied to me. I can’t date liars fam. I broke up with her. I’m single and my side girl still live under my ex bed. She text me from time to time for help. Shoulda had a escape rope.

Never forget your girls favorite color. I can’t explain why dudes cheat but answer this, if you got money in your wallet and you find anothe...

Anaconda, Crime, and Future: LAD BIBLE UCA PO Box 28 Customer Contact Centre GL52 3ZA Re: Application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Dear applicant Thank you for your application to the above University. After careful consideration, we're sorry to inform you that you have not been successtul. The reason being that Hogwarts School of wiechcraft and Wizardry is fctional, and a igment of J. K Rowling's imagination. We really did appreciate your letter, specifically the part regarding your "impressive wand skills" and the fact that you had been "shouting Wingardium Leviosa at pigeons in your local city centre. However it is probably important to note that the only reason they began to levitate was because they a) have wings and b) were temified The aurors here at UCAS were also shocked to hear that you had abandoned your A Level revision in order to watch the movies 100 times over. We would advise that in future you should check whether or not the university you're applying for is actually real before giving up on your A Levels completely Also, as much as we appreciate the forward-thinking of "collecting hundreds of frogs from the local pond" so that you can use them for spell practice-we would advise taking them back to their home. Other people may see this as a Sinus crime You're dlearly a very creative person (probably a Huffleput), so it may be worth applying for a drama-related course, or possible script writing. through Clearing There's always spaces, so we're sure you can Stytherin We wish you the best of luck. Got rejected from Hogwarts George Brown Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂
Anaconda, Crime, and Future: LAD
 BIBLE
 UCA
 PO Box 28
 Customer Contact Centre
 GL52 3ZA
 Re: Application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
 Dear applicant
 Thank you for your application to the above University. After careful consideration,
 we're sorry to inform you that you have not been successtul. The reason being that
 Hogwarts School of wiechcraft and Wizardry is fctional, and a igment of J. K
 Rowling's imagination.
 We really did appreciate your letter, specifically the part regarding your "impressive
 wand skills" and the fact that you had been "shouting Wingardium Leviosa at
 pigeons in your local city centre. However it is probably important to note that the
 only reason they began to levitate was because they a) have wings and b) were
 temified
 The aurors here at UCAS were also shocked to hear that you had abandoned your A
 Level revision in order to watch the movies 100 times over. We would advise that in
 future you should check whether or not the university you're applying for is actually
 real before giving up on your A Levels completely
 Also, as much as we appreciate the forward-thinking of "collecting hundreds of frogs
 from the local pond" so that you can use them for spell practice-we would advise
 taking them back to their home. Other people may see this as a Sinus crime
 You're dlearly a very creative person (probably a Huffleput), so it may be worth
 applying for a drama-related course, or possible script writing. through Clearing
 There's always spaces, so we're sure you can Stytherin
 We wish you the best of luck.
 Got rejected from Hogwarts
 George Brown
Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂

Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂

Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS . RESTAURANTS HEALTH- WE G SITI[+ REAL ESIATE & HEUE· 1HINGS 10 De- 酉EDDING- BEST 0F PEILLY MAGAZINE Q Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it, you had to say so out loud MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm polyglotplatypus:please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore
Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS .
 RESTAURANTS
 HEALTH-
 WE G SITI[+
 REAL ESIATE & HEUE·
 1HINGS 10 De-
 酉EDDING-
 BEST 0F PEILLY
 MAGAZINE
 Q
 Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the
 Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry
 needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of
 what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you
 drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you
 slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on
 rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was
 aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it,
 you had to say so out loud
 MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who
 works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also
 have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college.
 Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young
 people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the
 depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But
 for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an
 actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise
 The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name
 derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where
 the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate
 his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an
 emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm
polyglotplatypus:please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

polyglotplatypus:please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industr...

Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS . RESTAURANTS HEALTH- WE G SITI[+ REAL ESIATE & HEUE· 1HINGS 10 De- 酉EDDING- BEST 0F PEILLY MAGAZINE Q Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it, you had to say so out loud MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm polyglotplatypus:please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore
Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS .
 RESTAURANTS
 HEALTH-
 WE G SITI[+
 REAL ESIATE & HEUE·
 1HINGS 10 De-
 酉EDDING-
 BEST 0F PEILLY
 MAGAZINE
 Q
 Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the
 Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry
 needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of
 what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you
 drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you
 slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on
 rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was
 aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it,
 you had to say so out loud
 MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who
 works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also
 have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college.
 Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young
 people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the
 depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But
 for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an
 actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise
 The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name
 derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where
 the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate
 his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an
 emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm
polyglotplatypus:please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore

polyglotplatypus:please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industr...

Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS . RESTAURANTS HEALTH- WE G SITI[+ REAL ESIATE & HEUE· 1HINGS 10 De- 酉EDDING- BEST 0F PEILLY MAGAZINE Q Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it, you had to say so out loud MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college. Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm ouyangdan: negamewtwo: polyglotplatypus: please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore PLEASE TURN THE SOUND ON OH MY GOD
Being Alone, College, and Computers: Philadelphia NEWS .
 RESTAURANTS
 HEALTH-
 WE G SITI[+
 REAL ESIATE & HEUE·
 1HINGS 10 De-
 酉EDDING-
 BEST 0F PEILLY
 MAGAZINE
 Q
 Besides, the impetus seemed righteous. In a world torn asunder by the
 Great Depression, the Holocaust, and two World Wars, our citizenry
 needed to come together, be united, rally behind a collective vision of
 what it meant to be an American: You lived in a single-family house. you
 drove a station wagon, you wore bowling shirts and blue jeans, and you
 slathered mayonnaise on everything from BLTs to burgers to pastrami on
 rye. How do you think "Hold the mayo" became a saying? There was
 aluays mayo, and if you were some kind of deviant who didn't want it,
 you had to say so out loud
 MY SON İAKE, who's 25, eats mayo. He's a practical young man who
 works in computers and adores macaroni salad. He's a good son. I also
 have a daughter. She was a women's and gender studies major in college.
 Naturally, she loathes mayonnaise. And she's not alone. Ask the young
 people you know their opinion of mayo, and you'll be shocked by the
 depths of their emotion. Oh, there's the occasional outlier, like Jake. But
 for the most part, today's youth would sooner get their news from an
 actual paper newspaper than ingest mayonnaise
 The origins of this contentious condiment are hotly debated. Is its name
 derived from the city of Mahon on the Balearic Island of Menorca, where
 the Duc de Richelieu's chef, unable to find cream for a sauce to celebrate
 his lordship's successful siege during the Seven Years War, substituted an
 emulsion of eggs and ol? Or is it a bastardization of Bayonnaise, fronm
ouyangdan:
negamewtwo:

polyglotplatypus:
please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killing the mayonnaise industry that was written by a babyboomer upset people don’t want to eat her bland salads anymore
PLEASE TURN THE SOUND ON

OH MY GOD

ouyangdan: negamewtwo: polyglotplatypus: please listen to this poor man losing his shit as he reads an article blaming millenials for killi...