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Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly Disagree Disagree between Agree Agree 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going. goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: tantefledermaus: fromonesurvivortoanother: telegantmess: angryflyingstar: angst420: job applications just keep getting weirder….. pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil. this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals   When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.   “Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes.       The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”      The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?”  “Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.        The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”       The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?” Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.   ^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :( And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden. Oh! That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work. They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical. We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills! Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things. My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree” Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out. For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire” It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.
Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly
 Disagree Disagree between Agree
 Agree
 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going.
goodluckdetective:
theseriouscynic:

vanillayote:

clinicallydepressedpug:

jinxasaurus:

draggle:

slashmarks:

rosalinarosee:

angst420:

tantefledermaus:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

telegantmess:

angryflyingstar:

angst420:

job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  
“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 
     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”
     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 
“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  
     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”
      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”
Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :(

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

Oh!  That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work.  They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical.  We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills!

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. 

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. 
So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.
For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”
It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: ...

Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly Disagree Disagree between Agree Agree 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going. goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: tantefledermaus: fromonesurvivortoanother: telegantmess: angryflyingstar: angst420: job applications just keep getting weirder….. pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil. this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals   When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.   “Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes.       The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”      The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?”  “Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.        The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”       The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?” Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.   ^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :( And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden. Oh! That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work. They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical. We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills! Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things. My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree” Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out. For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire” It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.
Apparently, Bad, and Click: Strongly Slightly Not sure/in Slightly Strongly
 Disagree Disagree between Agree
 Agree
 1. I feel discouraged about the way things are going.
goodluckdetective:
theseriouscynic:

vanillayote:

clinicallydepressedpug:

jinxasaurus:

draggle:

slashmarks:

rosalinarosee:

angst420:

tantefledermaus:

fromonesurvivortoanother:

telegantmess:

angryflyingstar:

angst420:

job applications just keep getting weirder…..

pro jobseeking tip: never answer these surveys honestly

also a tip: if they have a question like “Everybody steals from work sometimes” answer “disagree.” I found this out when i was working as a hiring manager and the company i worked for started instituting these tests for managerial hires or promotions. My boss and I were promoting someone and she failed the test because she answered that question as “slightly agree” which in the results tells them that she is someone likely to steal because she believes everyone does it. When we asked her about her answer, it turns out she picked what she did because she’s cynical and does assume that people steal but didnt agree with them doing so. she almost sued the company for not promoting her based on that but chose to leave instead. We lost a good employee because corporate decided these tests were a good way to screen for “good” employees.tldr these things are poorly designed, ambiguously worded, and structured in ways that are designed to eliminate people because the intention of the questions is never made clear. these tests are evil.

this sounds like an ableist disaster for people who aren’t neurotypical and who struggle with reading signals 

 When I went to get diagnosed with ADHD, the neuropsychologist couldn’t figure out what was going on, because on paper I’m apparently floridly psychotic.  No, the questions are imprecise, and I am hyper-literal and extremely honest.  
“Do you often see things that other people do not see?”  Yes. 
     The question I was answering:  “Are you especially observant?”
     The question the test was actually asking:  “Are you having visual hallucinations?” 
“Does your environment ever have special messages for you?”  Yes.  
     The question I was answering:  “Does the sudden sight of a rainbow during a    bout of doubt and self-loathing make you feel as though the world is trying to cheer you up?”
      The question the test was actually asking:  “Do you believe that your toaster is trying to convince you that the neighbors are spying on you?”
Five years later, I bombed a psych eval for a park ranger job for the same sort of thing.  Tread carefully, darlings.  

^^^^ that is actually such a huge issue with diagnosis!!!! and I’ve thought I didn’t experience symptoms for ages that I actually clearly had all along because of things being phrased super weirdly and confusingly :(

And this is why McDonald’s never called me after I applied

Yeah, this is why this kind of thing in job apps needs to be illegal. A lot of discrimination is well hidden.

Oh!  That explains why even having friends and my then-husband proofread these every time didn’t even work.  They may not be as weird as me, but they’re not neurotypical.  We all read the questions tantefledermaus mentioned as observational skills!

Fuck. This explains why I’ve failed all of these fucking things.

My sister said to answer these as if you were a really passive person who relied on management/authority to tell you exactly what to do/think. 

Protip: my Dad is a hiring manager at Home Depot and he told me the system they use (with the stupidass pointless 500 question quiz) is designed so it filters out people with neutral answers. Several months ago I applied for numerous jobs, each of which required their own dumbass tests. To save time (and my sanity) i would click the “sometimes” or middle option for nearly every question unless it was serious. Nobody every called me back. Hell only 1 of the 8 places i applied to even messaged me back saying “thank you but we have gone with someone else”. Your applications wont even get seen unless you “pass” the quiz. 
So when all yall do fill out these dumb things be sure to pick strong yes or no answers. Never “maybe” or “slighty agree/disagree”

Thank you for that, cause I do that a lot. Like I legit feel neutral on some of those questions. Tumblr with the life hacks

It’s really bad for someone who isn’t neurotypical because often, these questions do contain language meant to filter us out.
For me, I tend to notice the ones meant to filter out people with ADD, like myself. For example “do you have trouble focusing on one task” or “do you like to move around.” My normal answers to these would be “yes, but I have it under control” and “of course, no one can sit still for hours”. But corporations read them as “do not hire”
It’s a bunch of BS. So I answer them like a yes man from office space. Works pretty well.

goodluckdetective: theseriouscynic: vanillayote: clinicallydepressedpug: jinxasaurus: draggle: slashmarks: rosalinarosee: angst420: ...

Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe.
Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe.

biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weave...

Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool
 that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here
 so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions
 are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML
 is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are
 not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to
 me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing
 HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be
 parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions
 Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of
 virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls
 into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide
 The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same
 conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex
 you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the
 One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus
 regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too
 late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living
 tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car
 anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of
 dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach
 between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a
 mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's
 consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil
 I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he
 comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML
 tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish
 the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal
 4421
 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes
 tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not
 rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES
Unicöde

Unicöde

Bye Felicia, Fucking, and Life: mfurirrrunitIu nerevar-shid-and-fard: firstborn-of-akatosh: firstborn-of-akatosh: tiredbosmerboy: skavenscreechings: sock-drawer-jeffery: uesp: Did You Know: Thanks to the Hist, Argonians can switch genders? THE HIST SAID TRANS RIGHTS No, they didn’t, you fucking transfetishist. It’s part of the argonian life cycle. Learn your fucking lore. Wow. Just wow. The lore states the argonians can ask the hist for the change. This means the argonian in question probably feels they do not belong as the gender they hatched as. They don’t just all change gender in their lifetimes. I do read my lore, and think that this is something transfolk should be able to connect with and enjoy. So, kindly fuck off and let transfolk enjoy their tree lizards. “There are many ways to change oneself, of course. Some travel to far off land, taking in a new culture and lifestyle. Others choose to practice a new craft, woodworkers turned warriors, tailors turned egg-tenders. But others feel they need an even deeper change in their life, and so require the aid of the Hist. They are those who have chosen to change their gender. Something deep within these individuals calls for them to undergo this change. I do not know if it is the Hist’s will, or simply their own. But always I listen with open mind and open palms, ready to help them in this time of transformation. Together we commune with the Hist, and prepare to receive its aid.“ -A Grand Transformation, an actual lorebook ‘learn lore’ lmao bye Bye Felicia the argonians said trans rights and skavenscreechings is a blithering fool I love my funky little transsexual lizards ❤️❤️❤️
Bye Felicia, Fucking, and Life: mfurirrrunitIu
nerevar-shid-and-fard:

firstborn-of-akatosh:

firstborn-of-akatosh:
tiredbosmerboy:

skavenscreechings:


sock-drawer-jeffery:

uesp:

Did You Know: Thanks to the Hist, Argonians can switch genders?


THE HIST SAID TRANS RIGHTS


No, they didn’t, you fucking transfetishist.  It’s part of the argonian life cycle.  Learn your fucking lore.


 Wow. Just wow. The lore states the argonians can ask the hist for the change.  This means the argonian in question probably feels they do not belong as the gender they hatched as. They don’t just all change gender in their lifetimes. I do read my lore, and think that this is something transfolk should be able to connect with and enjoy. 
So, kindly fuck off and let transfolk enjoy their tree lizards.

“There are many ways to change oneself, of course. Some travel to far 
off land, taking in a new culture and lifestyle. Others choose to 
practice a new craft, woodworkers turned warriors, tailors turned 
egg-tenders. But others feel they need an even deeper change in their 
life, and so require the aid of the Hist. They are those who have chosen to change their gender. Something deep within these individuals calls for them to undergo 
this change. I do not know if it is the Hist’s will, or simply their 
own. But always I listen with open mind and open palms, ready to help 
them in this time of transformation. Together we commune with the Hist, 
and prepare to receive its aid.“
-A Grand Transformation, an actual lorebook
‘learn lore’ lmao bye

Bye Felicia 

the argonians said trans rights and skavenscreechings is a blithering fool

I love my funky little transsexual lizards ❤️❤️❤️

nerevar-shid-and-fard: firstborn-of-akatosh: firstborn-of-akatosh: tiredbosmerboy: skavenscreechings: sock-drawer-jeffery: uesp: Did ...

Being Alone, Butt, and Community: gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah she ra progressive of power live podcast tweets thread: noelle stevenson interview 11:17 AM 22 Feb 2019 C)10 e) 4 Retweets 15 Likes 15 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 54m dnd classes, according to noelle - adora: fighter glimmer sorcerer bow: bard and ranger she ra: paladin catra: "a rogue, obviously" 6 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 46m the show stands on its own even though it's a legacy production. noelle didn't want to be held back by fear of changing too much. she was prepared for negative backlash, but hopes that if legacy fans give the new show a try, they'll recognize the core spirit of the show 7 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 44m noelle sometimes gets e-mails from young kids who love her work (because they don't have twitter), as well as their parents, and it's super important and cute and good 7 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 41m "it's important to have a lightness... and freedom to [what we make] so we're not just dumping sadness and suffering on our audiences." 6 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 38m noelle doesn't know what discord or tik tok are 8 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 31m "[netossa and spinerella] are a couple... slightly older. they have their own life outside what these teenagers are doing, and the teenagers don't understand it because they're doing their own thing. they have a lovely house somewhere... but the teens are not as perceptive." 9 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 29m "[netossa and spinerella] have a stability to them [while] our younger characters are often so messy and melodramatic and their feelings run wild, but these two.. their presence is reliable." 8 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 27m in the original netossa doesn't have powers, she just has nets that she throws on people gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 24m "[adoral is a little bit of a glutton for punishment in some ways... that's HER. she's kinda ready to get her butt kicked, yknow? she's like, i'm the only one who's gonna get hurt right now. 8 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 23m "adora had her world view challenged in 1.11 in a way that she never had. the idea that adora always thought she was doing the right thing for catra, and realizing that catra actually had resentment, i think that rattled her hard, to her core 5 9 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 21m "and so, adora's emotional state and mental-well being is tied to how powerful she is as she-ra. as soon as she starts letting her insecurities take over, she ra gets less powerful, especially when she's alone 8 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 20m "she is so distracted that she's kinda taken out by this fight with catra." 8 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 20m "[adora's] looking to be punished in some way." 7 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 18m "adora's fatal flaw [is] taking agency... to try to protect [catra specifically, but also everyone]. she is self-sacrifical!... but it shows a lack of faith." gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 18m "[adora] really wants to take every single bullet." 5 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 17m the writers planned the 'stronger together idea for cultural relevancy 2 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 16m "production began in earnest in 2016. this was not an accident. it's an escapist fantasy... .but it still comes out... we're putting our own feelings into almost every single character in so many ways. it's not an allegory... it's our feelings and struggles being expressed." 5 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 13m noelle has always had a big interest in villains, and related to them very much. BUT she realized, making this show "that was the fantasy, the idea of the complicated but sympathetic" isn't close to "real world villains who lack empathy when they hurt people and take away rights" 5 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 12m "even hordak is a fantasy, like, what if these were the villains that we faced, these complicated shades-of-grey... that's the escapist version. the pain of a real-world person is... how could you THINK that? how could you DO that? and there's not really an answer 7 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 9m "we are gonna have massive status quo shifts, like... you guys have no idea" 2 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 9m "we are NOWHERE near done" gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 6m "i am a gay woman, engaged to a woman. i was really passionate about... in the show's DNA, [providing a home to the lgbt+ community." gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 6m "the rainbow iconography is no accident. 2 6 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 4m "it's even more than the ships, the pairings... here is a WORLD, where queer themes are so interwoven into the fabric of the show that they exist on every level, even if they're not made explicit. obviously there are still barriers, but these themes... can't be removed." 7 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 3m when noelle pitched the rainbow thing at the end of the battle, an exec was like, "what's the point?" and noelle said, deadpan, "it's the gay agenda" 6 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 3m "this isn't a secret.. or something i'm ashamed of. it's a big part of what the show is. it's bigger than ships. it's about showing a world where this is just a part of normal life." 5 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 1m "there are so many things, even in the next episode drop, that are gonna change the whole stakes of the show." hey-adora:noelle stevenson did an awesome interview with the progressive of power podcast! i took notes on twitter, thought tumblr would like them too 3
Being Alone, Butt, and Community: gee i wonder if sam likes catra
 @heyadorah
 she ra progressive of power live podcast
 tweets thread: noelle stevenson interview
 11:17 AM 22 Feb 2019
 C)10
 e)
 4 Retweets 15 Likes
 15
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 54m
 dnd classes, according to noelle -
 adora: fighter
 glimmer sorcerer
 bow: bard and ranger
 she ra: paladin
 catra: "a rogue, obviously"
 6
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 46m
 the show stands on its own even though it's a legacy production. noelle didn't
 want to be held back by fear of changing too much. she was prepared for
 negative backlash, but hopes that if legacy fans give the new show a try, they'll
 recognize the core spirit of the show
 7
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 44m
 noelle sometimes gets e-mails from young kids who love her work (because they
 don't have twitter), as well as their parents, and it's super important and cute and
 good
 7

 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 41m
 "it's important to have a lightness... and freedom to [what we make] so we're not
 just dumping sadness and suffering on our audiences."
 6
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 38m
 noelle doesn't know what discord or tik tok are
 8
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 31m
 "[netossa and spinerella] are a couple... slightly older. they have their own life
 outside what these teenagers are doing, and the teenagers don't understand it
 because they're doing their own thing. they have a lovely house somewhere... but
 the teens are not as perceptive."
 9
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 29m
 "[netossa and spinerella] have a stability to them [while] our younger characters
 are often so messy and melodramatic and their feelings run wild, but these two..
 their presence is reliable."
 8
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 27m
 in the original netossa doesn't have powers, she just has nets that she throws on
 people
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 24m
 "[adoral is a little bit of a glutton for punishment in some ways... that's HER. she's
 kinda ready to get her butt kicked, yknow? she's like, i'm the only one who's
 gonna get hurt right now.
 8

 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 23m
 "adora had her world view challenged in 1.11 in a way that she never had. the
 idea that adora always thought she was doing the right thing for catra, and
 realizing that catra actually had resentment, i think that rattled her hard, to her
 core
 5
 9
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 21m
 "and so, adora's emotional state and mental-well being is tied to how powerful
 she is as she-ra. as soon as she starts letting her insecurities take over, she ra gets
 less powerful, especially when she's alone
 8
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 20m
 "she is so distracted that she's kinda taken out by this fight with catra."
 8
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 20m
 "[adora's] looking to be punished in some way."
 7
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 18m
 "adora's fatal flaw [is] taking agency... to try to protect [catra specifically, but also
 everyone]. she is self-sacrifical!... but it shows a lack of faith."
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 18m
 "[adora] really wants to take every single bullet."
 5
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 17m
 the writers planned the 'stronger together idea for cultural relevancy
 2

 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 16m
 "production began in earnest in 2016. this was not an accident. it's an escapist
 fantasy... .but it still comes out... we're putting our own feelings into almost every
 single character in so many ways. it's not an allegory... it's our feelings and
 struggles being expressed."
 5
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 13m
 noelle has always had a big interest in villains, and related to them very much.
 BUT she realized, making this show "that was the fantasy, the idea of the
 complicated but sympathetic" isn't close to "real world villains who lack empathy
 when they hurt people and take away rights"
 5
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 12m
 "even hordak is a fantasy, like, what if these were the villains that we faced, these
 complicated shades-of-grey... that's the escapist version. the pain of a real-world
 person is... how could you THINK that? how could you DO that? and there's not
 really an answer
 7
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 9m
 "we are gonna have massive status quo shifts, like... you guys have no idea"
 2
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 9m
 "we are NOWHERE near done"
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 6m
 "i am a gay woman, engaged to a woman. i was really passionate about... in the
 show's DNA, [providing a home to the lgbt+ community."

 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 6m
 "the rainbow iconography is no accident.
 2
 6
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 4m
 "it's even more than the ships, the pairings... here is a WORLD, where queer
 themes are so interwoven into the fabric of the show that they exist on every
 level, even if they're not made explicit. obviously there are still barriers, but these
 themes... can't be removed."
 7
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 3m
 when noelle pitched the rainbow thing at the end of the battle, an exec was like,
 "what's the point?" and noelle said, deadpan, "it's the gay agenda"
 6
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 3m
 "this isn't a secret.. or something i'm ashamed of. it's a big part of what the show
 is. it's bigger than ships. it's about showing a world where this is just a part of
 normal life."
 5
 gee i wonder if sam likes catra @heyadorah 1m
 "there are so many things, even in the next episode drop, that are gonna change
 the whole stakes of the show."
hey-adora:noelle stevenson did an awesome interview with the progressive of power podcast! i took notes on twitter, thought tumblr would like them too 3

hey-adora:noelle stevenson did an awesome interview with the progressive of power podcast! i took notes on twitter, thought tumblr would lik...

Funny, Girls, and Wife: Wife just left for girls' trip... My three-day bachelor's weekend could go one of two ways...
Funny, Girls, and Wife: Wife just left for girls' trip... My three-day bachelor's weekend could go one of two ways...

Wife just left for girls' trip... My three-day bachelor's weekend could go one of two ways...