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Beer, Craigslist, and Dad: NEEDED: Generic Father Figure for Backyard BBQ (Spokane) 6 fflehoneubee.com To interested individuals, We will be throwing a backyard BBQ on June 17th to celebrate beer and each other. We range in age from 21-26, and while most of us know how to operate a grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of "BBQ Dad" That being said, we are in need of a generic father figure from 4PM to about 8PM (though you may stay the full duration of the party). Duties include: Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking beer Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to change. We will provide all of the meat) Refer to all attendees as "Big Guy', "Chief", "Sport" "Champ" etc. (whilst drinking beer) Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer. Desired experience: A minimum of 18 vears experience as a father A minimum of 10 years grilling experience An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer We can't pay you in money, BUT we can give you all the food and cold beer vour heart desires. Grill for a few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold ones with the boys. THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are interested. Preference will be given to applicants named Bill, Randy, or Dave hydok: sothatjusthappened90: insanelycoolish: impuretale: drunp: this is peak Craigslist I want to know if they got answers.  I really wanna know how this turned out. Just so you guys know. cracking open 500 cold ones with the dads
Beer, Craigslist, and Dad: NEEDED: Generic Father Figure
 for Backyard BBQ (Spokane) 6
 fflehoneubee.com
 To interested individuals,
 We will be throwing a backyard BBQ on June 17th to
 celebrate beer and each other. We range in age from
 21-26, and while most of us know how to operate a
 grill, none of us are prepared to fill the role of "BBQ
 Dad" That being said, we are in need of a generic
 father figure from 4PM to about 8PM (though you may
 stay the full duration of the party). Duties include:

 Grilling hamburgers and hotdogs (whilst drinking
 beer
 Bringing your own grill (though this is subject to
 change. We will provide all of the meat)
 Refer to all attendees as "Big Guy', "Chief", "Sport"
 "Champ" etc. (whilst drinking beer)
 Talk about dad things, like lawnmowers, building
 your own deck, Jimmy Buffet, etc. Funny anecdotes
 are highly encouraged. All whilst drinking beer.
 Desired experience:
 A minimum of 18 vears experience as a father
 A minimum of 10 years grilling experience
 An appreciation of a nice, cold beer on a hot summer
 We can't pay you in money, BUT we can give you all
 the food and cold beer vour heart desires. Grill for a
 few hours, then sit back and crack open a few cold
 ones with the boys.
 THIS IS A REAL AD. Do not hesitate to call if you are
 interested. Preference will be given to applicants
 named Bill, Randy, or Dave
hydok:

sothatjusthappened90:

insanelycoolish:


impuretale:

drunp:
this is peak Craigslist
I want to know if they got answers. 

I really wanna know how this turned out.














Just so you guys know.

cracking open 500 cold ones with the dads

hydok: sothatjusthappened90: insanelycoolish: impuretale: drunp: this is peak Craigslist I want to know if they got answers.  I really...

Children, Confused, and Family: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
Children, Confused, and Family: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got t...

Children, Confused, and Family: Allie Jake MorganAshleySandy Brooke Pat fCoke Corey Jason priteShare Sam John Friends brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out. Weird right? I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT. After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected. She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.  This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well. Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine. what a sweet litter @xubbs
Children, Confused, and Family: Allie
 Jake
 MorganAshleySandy Brooke
 Pat
 fCoke
 Corey Jason
 priteShare
 Sam
 John
 Friends
brandonsgame:

otherwise-called-squidpope:

mrscarstairs:
Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

what a sweet litter

@xubbs

brandonsgame: otherwise-called-squidpope: mrscarstairs: Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story. So I was watching Fullmet...

Apple, Fresh, and Frozen: Hom fo mahe a smoothie Behold, the smoothie. A meal in a glass. And not just any meal. A fast one too. And done right, packed with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants healthy fats and so much more. Not only nutritious, but super delicious. Replace a meal such as breakfast or use it as a supplement or Stay healthy, lose weight, gain weight. Adapt it anyway you There's so much more to smoothies than fruit, yogurt and Here's how to make a smoothie- awesomel 1 ADD FRUIT Choose at least 2 types of fruit- fresh or frozen. And for a super healthy smoothie - make it green, adding vegetables such as kale, spinach & arugula Barana BerriesPearl apple WatermelonPeach SpinachKale ugulaBoet greens Dandeion greens 2 CHOOSE A BASE Add 1 2 Cups of liquid. The more juice your chosen fr have, the less liquid you need to add Fruit juiceIced coffee ced green tea Wator ricel almond soy mik water/ mik 3 THICKEN UP Thicken your smoothie to get the right consistencyl creaminess whilst making it more nutritious Nut buter Yogurt/k e cream (e.g peanut) cottage cheese frozen yogurt cubes CoounutChiasood Oata meat poylium busksbeans 4 FLAVOR IT Boost flavor with sweeteners, spices, fruits and herbs. Spices such as cinnamon add a layer of sweetness, without adding extra calories Honay Figs Dates Vanilal almond extract Nutmeg (eg minu basi) 5 POWER BOOST Take your smoothie to the next level with highly nutritive superfoods Protein powder Fish ol Goj berries Sprouts Ground flaxsends VitaminSpirulnal powderwhealgrass aair green powderpowder you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie
Apple, Fresh, and Frozen: Hom fo
 mahe a smoothie
 Behold, the smoothie.
 A meal in a glass. And not just any meal. A fast one too.
 And done right, packed with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants
 healthy fats and so much more. Not only nutritious, but super delicious.
 Replace a meal such as breakfast or use it as a supplement or
 Stay healthy, lose weight, gain weight. Adapt it anyway you
 There's so much more to smoothies than fruit, yogurt and
 Here's how to make a smoothie- awesomel
 1 ADD FRUIT
 Choose at least 2 types of fruit- fresh or frozen. And for a super healthy
 smoothie - make it green, adding vegetables such as kale, spinach & arugula
 Barana
 BerriesPearl apple WatermelonPeach
 SpinachKale ugulaBoet greens Dandeion
 greens
 2 CHOOSE A BASE
 Add 1 2 Cups of liquid. The more juice your chosen fr
 have, the less liquid you need to add
 Fruit juiceIced coffee
 ced
 green tea
 Wator
 ricel almond
 soy mik
 water/ mik
 3 THICKEN UP
 Thicken your smoothie to get the right consistencyl creaminess
 whilst making it more nutritious
 Nut buter Yogurt/k e cream
 (e.g peanut) cottage cheese frozen yogurt cubes
 CoounutChiasood
 Oata
 meat poylium busksbeans
 4 FLAVOR IT
 Boost flavor with sweeteners, spices, fruits and herbs. Spices such as
 cinnamon add a layer of sweetness, without adding extra calories
 Honay
 Figs
 Dates
 Vanilal
 almond extract
 Nutmeg
 (eg minu basi)
 5 POWER BOOST
 Take your smoothie to the next level with highly nutritive superfoods
 Protein powder Fish ol Goj berries
 Sprouts Ground flaxsends
 VitaminSpirulnal
 powderwhealgrass aair
 green powderpowder
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie

srsfunny:Behold, The Smoothie

Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal 4421 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES Unicöde
Beautiful, God, and Love: You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool
 that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here
 so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions
 are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML
 is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are
 not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to
 me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing
 HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be
 parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions
 Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of
 virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls
 into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide
 The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same
 conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex
 you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the
 One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus
 regexp will liquify the neryes of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too
 late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living
 tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how car
 anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of
 dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach
 between this world and the dread realm of cörrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a
 mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's
 consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes,the pestilent slithy regex-infection wil
 I devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Bąsic only worse he
 comes he comes do not fight he comes, his unholy radiance destroying all enlightenment, HTML
 tags leakjng frqm your eyes/like liquid pain, the song of regular expressien parsing-will extinguish
 the voices of mortal man from the sphgre I can see it can you see i it is beautiful the f inal
 4421
 snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOST ALL IS LOST the pory he comes he comese comes
 tge ichor permeates all MY FACE MY F Fish god no NO NOOOO ΝΘ stop the anges . ạre not
 rea) ZALGo is TOM) THE PONY HEgOMES
Unicöde

Unicöde

Definitely, Doug, and New York: 2 Effigy of the Forgotten metalkilltheking: 1991. Effigy of the Forgotten is the debut album by band Suffocation, released in October 22. The cover artwork was created by Dan Seagrave.Suffocation was formed in 1988 on Long Island, New York, by vocalist Frank Mullen, bassist Josh Barohn, guitarists Guy Marchais and Todd German, and Barohn’s friend on drums.The album was dedicated to the memory of Atheist bassist Roger Patterson, who had been killed in a car crash earlier in 1991.Effigy of the Forgotten is considered to be one of the first death metal albums to have a highly sophisticated level of technical proficiency. The guitars are very low-end and down tuned whilst using a lot of tremolo picking and fast alternate picked notes alongside a lot of fast blast beats drumming and quick fills involved. It’s all very violent,  Some passages are oddly catchy and most of the solos are awesome. The slam on the album’s opener is famous for being the first slam in death metal history, and it’s one of the best at it. In fact, the whole song serves as the sole highlight to this album. It’s simply great from start to finish, with the other songs trying to outdo what it did best, Definitely a classic that I recommend for the death metal fans looking for older albums.Frank Mullen   Doug Cerrito    Terrance Hobbs   Josh Barohn   Mike Smith
Definitely, Doug, and New York: 2
 Effigy of the Forgotten
metalkilltheking:

1991. Effigy of the Forgotten is the debut album by band Suffocation, released in October 22. The cover artwork was created by Dan Seagrave.Suffocation was formed in 1988 on Long Island, New York, by vocalist Frank Mullen, bassist Josh Barohn, guitarists Guy Marchais and Todd German, and Barohn’s friend on drums.The album was dedicated to the memory of Atheist bassist Roger Patterson, who had been killed in a car crash earlier in 1991.Effigy of the Forgotten is considered to be one of the first death metal albums to have a highly sophisticated level of technical proficiency. The guitars are very low-end and down tuned whilst using a lot of tremolo picking and fast alternate picked notes alongside a lot of fast blast beats drumming and quick fills involved. It’s all very violent,  Some passages are oddly catchy and most of the solos are awesome. The slam on the album’s opener is famous for being the first slam in death metal history, and it’s one of the best at it. In fact, the whole song serves as the sole highlight to this album. It’s simply great from start to finish, with the other songs trying to outdo what it did best, Definitely a classic that I recommend for the death metal fans looking for older albums.Frank Mullen   Doug Cerrito    Terrance Hobbs   Josh Barohn   Mike Smith

metalkilltheking: 1991. Effigy of the Forgotten is the debut album by band Suffocation, released in October 22. The cover artwork was creat...

Alive, Ass, and Friends: whotheeffisbucky: fantastic-fantasy-fanfics: whotheeffisbucky: angryschnauzer: comicbookfilms: Justice League (2017) dir. Zack Snyder Only a male director would put an upskirt shot into a movie and hope no one mentions it. @angryschnauzer RIGHT? RIGHT?!  The huge difference between the way she’s shot in the Patty Jenkins film compared to this is ridiculous. It’s framed in such a way that we could be viewing her actual vagina, but the shadowing leaves a little more to the imagination. The male gaze is alive and kicking, my friends.  I could write an entire essay about this, but this is one of the most clear cut examples I can think of.  You can’t see up her skirt? And it’s to make her look taller? More intimidating? If it was an up-skirt shot you’d see her bare ass cheeks or an implication of her vag. You can’t. Not to mention, JOSS WHEDON re-shot a lot of the scenes in Justice league (and made them worse), AND was in charge of overseeing editing while Zach was mourning his daughter. So if you’re going to blame someone, don’t blame Zach for this, blame Joss Whedon. Zach’s cut if Justice League ACTUALLY respected Diana If it was an up-skirt shot you’d see her bare ass cheeks or an implication of her vag. You can’t. Not to mention, JOSS WHEDON re-shot a lot of the scenes in Justice league (and made them worse), AND was in charge of overseeing editing while Zach was mourning his daughter. @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics That’s not the point I was making. Neither director has been mentioned at all in this post. There are alternative ways to make an individual look taller. The Dutch Shot has many uses. Example:The camera is tilted and keeps both actors in frame, whilst achieving the desired effect. What I’m arguing is wrong is the choice of angle that deliberately places Wonder Woman in a position to be looked at in a sexual manner. Moreover, an upskirt shot does not have to include any bare flesh at all. If anything, it’s designed to imply, rather than simply show. It’s not an issue with Zach Snyder, there was never any mention of him. But the issue still stands: the shot was clearly done to appease the male gaze and is needlessly oversexualised. It’s a standing problem in popular film and looks very obvious here when you compare it to how Patty Jenkins shot the Wonder Woman film.
Alive, Ass, and Friends: whotheeffisbucky:

fantastic-fantasy-fanfics:
whotheeffisbucky:

angryschnauzer:

comicbookfilms:
Justice League (2017) dir. Zack Snyder

Only a male director would put an upskirt shot into a movie and hope no one mentions it. 

@angryschnauzer RIGHT? RIGHT?! 
The huge difference between the way she’s shot in the Patty Jenkins film compared to this is ridiculous. It’s framed in such a way that we could be viewing her actual vagina, but the shadowing leaves a little more to the imagination. The male gaze is alive and kicking, my friends. 
I could write an entire essay about this, but this is one of the most clear cut examples I can think of. 

You can’t see up her skirt?  And it’s to make her look taller?  More intimidating? If it was an up-skirt shot you’d see her bare ass cheeks or an implication of her vag.  You can’t.  Not to mention, JOSS WHEDON re-shot a lot of the scenes in Justice league (and made them worse), AND was in charge of overseeing editing while Zach was mourning his daughter.  So if you’re going to blame someone, don’t blame Zach for this, blame Joss Whedon.  Zach’s cut if Justice League ACTUALLY respected Diana 
If it was an up-skirt shot you’d see her bare ass cheeks or an implication of her vag.  You can’t.
Not to mention, JOSS WHEDON re-shot a lot of the scenes in Justice league (and made them worse), AND was in charge of overseeing editing while Zach was mourning his daughter.

@fantastic-fantasy-fanfics That’s not the point I was making. Neither director has been mentioned at all in this post. There are alternative ways to make an individual look taller. The Dutch Shot has many uses. Example:The camera is tilted and keeps both actors in frame, whilst achieving the desired effect. What I’m arguing is wrong is the choice of angle that deliberately places Wonder Woman in a position to be looked at in a sexual manner. Moreover, an upskirt shot does not have to include any bare flesh at all. If anything, it’s designed to imply, rather than simply show. It’s not an issue with Zach Snyder, there was never any mention of him. But the issue still stands: the shot was clearly done to appease the male gaze and is needlessly oversexualised. It’s a standing problem in popular film and looks very obvious here when you compare it to how Patty Jenkins shot the Wonder Woman film.

whotheeffisbucky: fantastic-fantasy-fanfics: whotheeffisbucky: angryschnauzer: comicbookfilms: Justice League (2017) dir. Zack Snyder On...

Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat
 TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex,
 unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.
 via reddit.com
 toast-potent
 how are they even alive
 kickin-jeans
 eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during
 forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place
 koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat
 The Fucking Bombs
 humandisastersquad
 WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times
 ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how
 good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0
 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and
 even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic
 range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to
 ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat
 anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd
 rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60
 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want
 YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so
 incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is
 bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet
 consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace)
 reyroace
 oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is
 starvation, because
 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u
 need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in
 nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of
 tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth
 grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc
 everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin
 shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear
 down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit
 all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day
 then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until
 they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc
 their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh
 just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal
 w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc
 i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung
 from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their
 organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better
 piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense
 mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch
 them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit
 around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison
 while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending
 theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of
 extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at
 all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let
 em
 reyroace
 by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres
 a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound
 like
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk
 gallusrostromegalus
 My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala
 Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently
 good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo
 Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at
 which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves
 around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to
 BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and
 projectile-evacuating thier bowels,
 Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked
 into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with
 a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle
 the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects
 of a date.
 teratomarty
 What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths.
the more you know

the more you know

Being Alone, Club, and cnn.com: Strange Fruit. @LaEtchi If I'm "cockblocking" my friend it's because she wants me to do it, trust me lol 09/04/2014 13:55 alloutofreeds: im-not-trash-im-recyclable: blazeblastomega: gordoananke: ohhmelancholy: misunderst00ds0ul: joybeeeez: guys never realize that.  Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard. cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary. A woman says no, I don’t want to go to prom with you, and gets stabbed to death. A woman says no, I will not sleep with you, and a man go on a shooting spree.  A woman says no, I will not give you my number, and is shot outside the club. A woman says no, I don’t want you to buy me a drink, and a man shattered a glass across her face.  A woman say no, I’m a lesbian, and a man shoots both her and her girlfriend while they slept in their home. A woman says no, I don’t want to be with you any more, and a man stabs her to death and murders her dog. A woman says no, stop harassing these teenagers, and a group of men beat her to death with stones and bats, smashing her skull on the pavement. A woman says no, we aren’t married any more, leave me alone, and a man shoots her to death. A woman says no, we work together but I’m not interested in you romantically, and a man shoots her to death whilst she’s working.  A woman says no, I don’t want to sleep with you, and a man rapes, murders and then hangs her from a tree. A woman says no, I’m not interested, and a man slashes her neck open. A woman says no, I never cheated on you, and a man beats her. A woman says no, I want a divorce, and a man cuts her neck open and stabs her multiple times. You want us to start telling you no? You don’t want us to play games? Teach your fellow men to stop murdering us for it. oh I will always reblog this. Everyone should see it. I would like to add: A girl says no, boy murders her (and several others) in a school shooting.
Being Alone, Club, and cnn.com: Strange Fruit.
 @LaEtchi
 If I'm "cockblocking" my friend it's
 because she wants me to do it,
 trust me lol
 09/04/2014 13:55
alloutofreeds:
im-not-trash-im-recyclable:

blazeblastomega:

gordoananke:

ohhmelancholy:

misunderst00ds0ul:

joybeeeez:

guys never realize that. 

Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard.

cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary.

A woman says no, I don’t want to go to prom with you, and gets stabbed to death.
A woman says no, I will not sleep with you, and a man go on a shooting spree. 
A woman says no, I will not give you my number, and is shot outside the club.
A woman says no, I don’t want you to buy me a drink, and a man shattered a glass across her face. 
A woman say no, I’m a lesbian, and a man shoots both her and her girlfriend while they slept in their home.
A woman says no, I don’t want to be with you any more, and a man stabs her to death and murders her dog.
A woman says no, stop harassing these teenagers, and a group of men beat her to death with stones and bats, smashing her skull on the pavement.
A woman says no, we aren’t married any more, leave me alone, and a man shoots her to death.
A woman says no, we work together but I’m not interested in you romantically, and a man shoots her to death whilst she’s working. 
A woman says no, I don’t want to sleep with you, and a man rapes, murders and then hangs her from a tree.
A woman says no, I’m not interested, and a man slashes her neck open.
A woman says no, I never cheated on you, and a man beats her.
A woman says no, I want a divorce, and a man cuts her neck open and stabs her multiple times.
You want us to start telling you no? You don’t want us to play games? Teach your fellow men to stop murdering us for it.

oh

I will always reblog this. Everyone should see it. 


I would like to add:
A girl says no, boy murders her (and several others) in a school shooting.

alloutofreeds: im-not-trash-im-recyclable: blazeblastomega: gordoananke: ohhmelancholy: misunderst00ds0ul: joybeeeez: guys never reali...