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whiplash: cinemaspam: Whiplash (2014)
whiplash: cinemaspam:
Whiplash (2014)

cinemaspam: Whiplash (2014)

whiplash: probablyvampirerpgideas Make a Vampire character who's lived through several waves of the common language's development and can't let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess anachronistic-cat .. can i use that phrase irl? probablyvampirerpgideas Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age nternet lingo like all the time the-argumentative-viper Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you're toss'd with. Chill already, you're not valid nuttersincorporated You are an unrighteous, basardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan I love the idea of a vampire who's language travels back in time as they get pissed take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito sleepyamericanteen Reading these is like literary whiplash kyraneko Thou'rt a base and unhappy drama-fucker and I would yeet you out the nearest window for a donut. rickktish Bestill thy mongrel tongue and shut your face ere I unhappy thot do yeet thee hence!! I'll not hesitate, bitch, to do thee in whomst ruinest mine pizza with thine vape Source: probablyvampirerpgideas Hmm, thy bosoms heart beats no more. YEET!
whiplash: probablyvampirerpgideas
 Make a Vampire character who's lived through several waves of the
 common language's development and can't let go if certain gramatical
 habbits from different time eras
 So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess
 anachronistic-cat
 .. can i use that phrase irl?
 probablyvampirerpgideas
 Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just
 completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear
 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age
 nternet lingo like all the time
 the-argumentative-viper
 Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of
 splean as you're toss'd with. Chill already, you're not valid
 nuttersincorporated
 You are an unrighteous, basardly gullion. Heaven truly knows that thou art
 false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk backwards into hell
 just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too
 fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan
 I love the idea of a vampire who's language travels back in time as they get
 pissed
 take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool
 grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito
 sleepyamericanteen
 Reading these is like literary whiplash
 kyraneko
 Thou'rt a base and unhappy drama-fucker and I would yeet you out the
 nearest window for a donut.
 rickktish
 Bestill thy mongrel tongue and shut your face
 ere I unhappy thot do yeet thee hence!!
 I'll not hesitate, bitch, to do thee in
 whomst ruinest mine pizza with thine vape
 Source: probablyvampirerpgideas
Hmm, thy bosoms heart beats no more. YEET!

Hmm, thy bosoms heart beats no more. YEET!

whiplash: Clair Follow I couldn't find a doll for my little cousins Birthday, BUT I did find dolls named Abrianna, Anaya, Maeva & Keisha. Thanks @Target antonioO @antoniodelotero Follow you know damn well your dumbass rearranged the shelf so you could pretend to be the victim Clair @thetaclaire I couldn't find a doll for my little cousins Birthday, BUT I did find dolls named Abrianna, Anaya, Maeva & Keisha. Thanks @ Target 5:02 PM-14 Aug 2017 1,296 Retweets 4,145 Likes Fatty @calebisafatass Follow Replying to @slcpunkin @thetaclaire @Target She rearranged the shelves and did a shitty job doing so Imfao how pathetic 2:37 PM - 14 Aug 2017 295 Retweets 2,809 Likes。 ® 00 TJ Anderson @TJSonOfAnder Follow Replying to @calebisafatass @slcpunkin and 2 others Seriously, they don't put dolls on their side on the bottom shelf. She took every black doll she could find & it didn't even fill 1 shelf. 4:44 PM- 14 Aug 2017 167 Retweets 1,414 Likes afiq @aahfeekiee Follow Replying to @itsCampaign @splatzthunder and 5 others the two price labels say "chair" and "scooter"... she put the doll there herself 9.99 29.99 iplemons: jolly-ob-saint-nixilis: pinkcheesegreenghost: kick-neckbeard-ass: scribble-wizard: dollsahoy: pinkcheesegreenghost: dynastylnoire: crime-she-typed: the-real-eye-to-see: We know she’s just mad cause they have more melanin than she’s used to seeing Lol I used to work at target and know for a fact that that’s literally one aisle sandwiched between several containing several an array of bland white dolls why would you fake a struggle like this?? It’s so flawed 😩😂 ^^^^^^^ White girls are so pathetic And…there’s absolutely no reason she couldn’t’ve bought one of those for her cousin, anyway? (I mean, no reason beyond “that cousin is probably being raised just like her and would do terrible things to the doll”) i found this post on facebook this morning and went to My Generation to tally their dolls by skin color just to see how absolutely out of proportion the OP was blowing things.they have 106 dolls total on target’s website. 87 of these dolls are white. 46 of those white dolls are blonde. counting all their total dolls of color, you get 19 (and that’s being generous and tallying any exceptionally tan ones). only one of these dolls resembles someone east asian. so yeah, this lady only found 8 dolls (two of which are from seperate brands) and she’s still steamed when the brand she was looking at has 87 white dolls for her racist ass to choose from. It got better! “I’m only 19…” 91% said NO redemption for you This post went in 200 different directions I’ve got whiplash. Also fucking BuzzFeed was the one who called it out? What reality is this?
whiplash: Clair
 Follow
 I couldn't find a doll for my little cousins
 Birthday, BUT I did find dolls named
 Abrianna, Anaya, Maeva & Keisha. Thanks
 @Target

 antonioO
 @antoniodelotero
 Follow
 you know damn well your dumbass
 rearranged the shelf so you could pretend to
 be the victim
 Clair @thetaclaire
 I couldn't find a doll for my little cousins Birthday, BUT I did find
 dolls named Abrianna, Anaya, Maeva & Keisha. Thanks @ Target
 5:02 PM-14 Aug 2017
 1,296 Retweets 4,145 Likes

 Fatty
 @calebisafatass
 Follow
 Replying to @slcpunkin @thetaclaire @Target
 She rearranged the shelves and did a shitty
 job doing so Imfao how pathetic
 2:37 PM - 14 Aug 2017
 295 Retweets 2,809 Likes。
 ® 00

 TJ Anderson
 @TJSonOfAnder
 Follow
 Replying to @calebisafatass @slcpunkin and 2 others
 Seriously, they don't put dolls on their side on
 the bottom shelf. She took every black doll
 she could find & it didn't even fill 1 shelf.
 4:44 PM- 14 Aug 2017
 167 Retweets 1,414 Likes

 afiq
 @aahfeekiee
 Follow
 Replying to @itsCampaign @splatzthunder and 5 others
 the two price labels say "chair" and
 "scooter"... she put the doll there herself
 9.99
 29.99
iplemons:

jolly-ob-saint-nixilis:
pinkcheesegreenghost:

kick-neckbeard-ass:


scribble-wizard:

dollsahoy:

pinkcheesegreenghost:

dynastylnoire:

crime-she-typed:


the-real-eye-to-see:


We know she’s just mad cause they have more melanin than she’s used to seeing



Lol I used to work at target and know for a fact that that’s literally one aisle sandwiched between several containing several an array of bland white dolls why would you fake a struggle like this?? It’s so flawed 😩😂


^^^^^^^


White girls are so pathetic

And…there’s absolutely no reason she couldn’t’ve bought one of those for her cousin, anyway? (I mean, no reason beyond “that cousin is probably being raised just like her and would do terrible things to the doll”)

i found this post on facebook this morning and went to My Generation to tally their dolls by skin color just to see how absolutely out of proportion the OP was blowing things.they have 106 dolls total on target’s website. 87 of these dolls are white. 46 of those white dolls are blonde. counting all their total dolls of color, you get 19 (and that’s being generous and tallying any exceptionally tan ones). only one of these dolls resembles someone east asian. so yeah, this lady only found 8 dolls (two of which are from seperate brands) and she’s still steamed when the brand she was looking at has 87 white dolls for her racist ass to choose from. 

It got better! 


“I’m only 19…”
91% said NO redemption for you



This post went in 200 different directions

I’ve got whiplash. Also fucking BuzzFeed was the one who called it out? What reality is this?

iplemons: jolly-ob-saint-nixilis: pinkcheesegreenghost: kick-neckbeard-ass: scribble-wizard: dollsahoy: pinkcheesegreenghost: dyna...

whiplash: Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena, allegedly because the veteran had asked him to pick up trash he threw in the street. Joshua Byrd, who served two tours in Iraq with the U.S. Army, said he was walking his service dog outside the business complex where he works on the 13000 block of Cimarron Avenue around 6:30 a.m. Monday when he noticed the driver discard garbage from his window. Byrd said he asked the motorist to pick it up but he didn't respond, so he picked it up and put it on the hood of the man's car. The driver lingered in the area, and a couple minutes later took the trash off his car and threw it back into the street. Then, he began cussing at Byrd and driving in circles in front of him, the veteran said. "He's getting out the car and he threw a couple bottles of pee at me," Byrd told KTLA. "So it was urine in a container and he was throwing it at me. Luckily none of it got on me." At that point, Byrd went to stand in the road in an attempt to get a picture of the man's car. That's when he was struck. "He just makes another U-turn and guns it straight toward me at about 35, 40 mph and hits me," Byrd said. Byrd suffered a fractured wrist, sprained ankle, whiplash, road rash and bruising, and had to get stitches on his face. His dog was not injured. The incident is being investigated as an assault with a deadly weapon, according to Gardena Police Lt. Steve Prendergast. Officials have not released a description of the suspect, but Byrd described him as a heavyset black man measuring around 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 8 inches tall. Anyone with information can contact the Gardena Police Department at 310-217-9600.
whiplash: Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Gardena, allegedly because the veteran had asked him to pick up trash he threw in the street. Joshua Byrd, who served two tours in Iraq with the U.S. Army, said he was walking his service dog outside the business complex where he works on the 13000 block of Cimarron Avenue around 6:30 a.m. Monday when he noticed the driver discard garbage from his window. Byrd said he asked the motorist to pick it up but he didn't respond, so he picked it up and put it on the hood of the man's car. The driver lingered in the area, and a couple minutes later took the trash off his car and threw it back into the street. Then, he began cussing at Byrd and driving in circles in front of him, the veteran said. "He's getting out the car and he threw a couple bottles of pee at me," Byrd told KTLA. "So it was urine in a container and he was throwing it at me. Luckily none of it got on me." At that point, Byrd went to stand in the road in an attempt to get a picture of the man's car. That's when he was struck. "He just makes another U-turn and guns it straight toward me at about 35, 40 mph and hits me," Byrd said. Byrd suffered a fractured wrist, sprained ankle, whiplash, road rash and bruising, and had to get stitches on his face. His dog was not injured. The incident is being investigated as an assault with a deadly weapon, according to Gardena Police Lt. Steve Prendergast. Officials have not released a description of the suspect, but Byrd described him as a heavyset black man measuring around 5 feet 5 inches to 5 feet 8 inches tall. Anyone with information can contact the Gardena Police Department at 310-217-9600.

Authorities are working to identify a man seen on surveillance video attacking a disabled veteran with his car earlier this week in Garde...

whiplash: pepparoach: Whiplash 2
whiplash: pepparoach:
Whiplash 2

pepparoach: Whiplash 2

whiplash: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt.
whiplash: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER
halduron-brightwang:

immortalismortem:

liquidglue:


b just wear the seatbelt


Mmmmmmm
I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on.
Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds.
They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt.

Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk.
These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt. 
This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way.
They even make ones for children too.
Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it.
And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe. 
But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources. 
“More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “
“Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today”
Or this one
“

 The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.”
Or this
“

Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…”
“Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“
“Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“
Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead.
Wear your seat belt.

halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm...

whiplash: Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better That's what life is like to me. I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed toast-potent: this post is a roller coaster, not in the way that people call wild posts “roller coasters,” but in the way that i knew something was up when i started reading the first paragraph, it was like the track slowly rising up, the wording just tipped me off, i knew there was going to be a serious drop that was going to give me whiplash, but when it arrived i still wasn’t ready for it
whiplash: Imagine this. You are attracted to women, like you
 are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not
 exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one
 knows what they looked like (They have a pretty
 good idea from the fossils, however), but they do
 not exist anymore. That means, not only do you
 know there will never be any possibility of you
 having sex with one, but there's not even a
 possibility of you ever seeing one in real life.
 Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are
 not attracted to women, they are attracted to
 something else entirely. So in other words, you will
 never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only
 non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have
 told about your attraction to women think it's
 disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the
 non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will
 never get any better
 That's what life is like to me.
 I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and
 emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing
 else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed
toast-potent:
this post is a roller coaster, not in the way that people call wild posts “roller coasters,” but in the way that i knew something was up when i started reading the first paragraph, it was like the track slowly rising up, the wording just tipped me off, i knew there was going to be a serious drop that was going to give me whiplash, but when it arrived i still wasn’t ready for it

toast-potent: this post is a roller coaster, not in the way that people call wild posts “roller coasters,” but in the way that i knew som...

whiplash: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER notthatjaded: kittydesade: squirtle-daddy: hunter-rodrigez: hebangshebangs: badgengar: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. 2017 and people are still trying to spread the myth that you don’t need to wear a seatbelt. People really don’t wear a seatbelt???? This reminds me of a story from WW1  When they first introduced Helmets to the troops fighting in trenches the number of head injuries suddenly skyrocketed and people wanted to take the helmets away again. Until they realized that the reason for this was the fact that most of these head injuries would have been fatal if it wasn’t for the Helmets. You always need to look at the bigger picture.   Lmfao ya rather save ya tiddies than go flying through the fucking windshield some of you guys are crazy Flying through windshields will also disembowel you and cut off your tits. I’m just saying. I was in a single car accident years back in my first car. If it weren’t for a tree ‘catching’ me I probably would’ve gone rolling. I was wearing a seatbelt. I climbed out of the car (out of the sunroof, actually, because the doors were jammed). The police that stopped and helped me basically said they’d seen people NOT climb out of accidents like that (and lesser ones!) because they’d not been wearing their seatbelts when it happened. Wear your damn seatbelts, people.
whiplash: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER
notthatjaded:
kittydesade:

squirtle-daddy:

hunter-rodrigez:

hebangshebangs:

badgengar:

halduron-brightwang:

immortalismortem:

liquidglue:


b just wear the seatbelt


Mmmmmmm
I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on.
Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds.
They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt.

Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk.
These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt. 
This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way.
They even make ones for children too.
Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it.
And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe. 
But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources. 
“More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “
“Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today”
Or this one
“

 The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.”
Or this
“

Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…”
“Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“
“Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“
Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead.
Wear your seat belt.

2017 and people are still trying to spread the myth that you don’t need to wear a seatbelt.


People really don’t wear a seatbelt????

This reminds me of a story from WW1 
When they first introduced Helmets to the troops fighting in trenches the number of head injuries suddenly skyrocketed and people wanted to take the helmets away again.
Until they realized that the reason for this was the fact that most of these head injuries would have been fatal if it wasn’t for the Helmets.
You always need to look at the bigger picture.  


Lmfao ya rather save ya tiddies than go flying through the fucking windshield some of you guys are crazy 

Flying through windshields will also disembowel you and cut off your tits. I’m just saying.

I was in a single car accident years back in my first car. If it weren’t for a tree ‘catching’ me I probably would’ve gone rolling.
I was wearing a seatbelt. I climbed out of the car (out of the sunroof, actually, because the doors were jammed).
The police that stopped and helped me basically said they’d seen people NOT climb out of accidents like that (and lesser ones!) because they’d not been wearing their seatbelts when it happened.
Wear your damn seatbelts, people.

notthatjaded: kittydesade: squirtle-daddy: hunter-rodrigez: hebangshebangs: badgengar: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liqu...

whiplash: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER theconqueerstador: neurodivergent-crow: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on. Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds. They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt. Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk. These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt.  This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way. They even make ones for children too. Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it. And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe.  But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources.  “More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “ “Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today” Or this one “ The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.” Or this “ Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…” “Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“ “Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“ Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead. Wear your seat belt. “uwu dont wear seatbelts bc some people got injured by them” THEY SURVIVED. which is much better than dying bc you flew through the damn windshield!! fucking dumbass. My mom worked as an ICU nurse for 20 years and counting. She came home once a month telling me about the DOA people she saw launched through a windshield because they weren’t wearing a seatbelt. I use the same rule she did when we were kids: my car doesn’t move until everyone in it is buckled in.
whiplash: THIS CHANGES THE GAME FOREVER
theconqueerstador:

neurodivergent-crow:

halduron-brightwang:

immortalismortem:

liquidglue:


b just wear the seatbelt


Mmmmmmm
I gotta naysay here. Seatbelts do a LOT of harm. Not everyone can wear one  and not everyone wants to risk it. Just among my own friends and people I know in general; 4 females had a breast cut completely or partially off due to a seat belt. 6 people had their throats cut, to an obviously non-lethal degree. 2 had their stomach’s cut open to a horrifying degree that I won’t elaborate on.
Not even counting the uncomfortably awkward belt locations for particularly large, small, fat, skinny people. Females with large breasts get the joy of holding the belt in place or adjusting it every couple seconds.
They’re awkward, uncomfortable, painful, and can often cause the injuries in an accident. Sometimes it’s just better to forgo the belt.

Those injuries caused by seat belts more than very likely would have been deadly had they not been wearing them. To have enough force to cut skin or cut off a breast in an accident is far more than enough to cause someone to go flying through the windshield of a car, to slam them into the steering column, or through a window resulting in deadly injuries or causing an even bigger accident for other drivers now that your body is in the road along with your crashed car. Are you really going to risk being a smear of ground meat on the pavement because your seat belt was a little uncomfortable or it might cut you? Then I got good news for you, there’s a wide variety of devices made specifically to make seat belts more comfortable and reduce that risk.
These make it so that your seat belt won’t cut your neck, a simple sleeve of padded fabric that velcros around it, meaning you can put it anywhere on the belt. 
This one does something similar, by readjusting the positioning of the seat belt to move it farther away from your neck and hey, helps a bit with having boobs in the way.
They even make ones for children too.
Boobs still in the way? While it’s pretty silly looking, this helps keep the seat belt in place so you don’t have to keep adjusting it.
And if you’re overweight, they make seat belt extenders so you can still be safe. 
But maybe you’re still unsure, then listen to the CDC and all of their sources. 
“More than half of the people killed in car crashes were not restrained at the time of the crash.1 Wearing a seat belt is the most effective way to prevent death and serious injury in a crash.Seat belt use is on the rise. Laws, education, and technology have increased seat belt use from 11% in 19812 to nearly 85% in 20103, saving hundreds of thousands of lives. “
“Most drivers and passengers killed in crashes are unrestrained. 53% of drivers and passengers killed in car crashes in 2009 were not wearing restraints.1Seat belts dramatically reduce risk of death and serious injury. Among drivers and front-seat passengers, seat belts reduce the risk of death by 45%, and cut the risk of serious injury by 50%.4Seat belts prevent drivers and passengers from being ejected during a crash. People not wearing a seat belt are 30 times more likely to be ejected from a vehicle during a crash. More than 3 out of 4 people who are ejected during a fatal crash die from their injuries.5Seat belts save thousands of lives each year, and increasing use would save thousands more. Seat belts saved almost 13,000 lives in 2009. If all drivers and passengers had worn seat belts that year, almost 4,000 more people would be alive today”
Or this one
“

 The number of those who escaped injury [by wearing a seat belt] increased by 40% and those with mild and moderate injuries decreased by 35% after seatbelt legislation. There was a significant reduction in soft tissue injuries to the head. Only whiplash injuries to the neck showed a significant increase.”
Or this
“

Fifty-five percent of those killed in passenger vehicle occupant crashes in 2008 were not wearing a seat belt…”
“Wearing a seat belt reduces the risk of fatal injury by almost 50%. For children, the risk of fatal injury is reduced by 71% with the use of child safety seats.“
“Of those thrown completely out of a vehicle in a car crash, 75% died. Only one percent of people totally ejected from their cars had on a seat belt during the crash. Over 30% were not wearing seat belts.“
Conclusion? Wear your fucking seat belt. Tell your kids to wear their fucking seat belt. Tell your friends and family to wear their fucking seat belts. Time and time again it’s been proven that you are significantly more likely to survive a crash if you’re wearing one. Most people think they’re uncomfortable, but when you’re in a crash it can save your life. I’d rather be mildly injured than dead.
Wear your seat belt.


“uwu dont wear seatbelts bc some people got injured by them”
THEY SURVIVED. which is much better than dying bc you flew through the damn windshield!! fucking dumbass.


My mom worked as an ICU nurse for 20 years and counting. She came home once a month telling me about the DOA people she saw launched through a windshield because they weren’t wearing a seatbelt. I use the same rule she did when we were kids: my car doesn’t move until everyone in it is buckled in.

theconqueerstador: neurodivergent-crow: halduron-brightwang: immortalismortem: liquidglue: b just wear the seatbelt Mmmmmmm I got...

whiplash: Newsweek POLICE BODY CAMERAS CAN THREATEN CIVIL RIGHTS OF BLACK AND BROWN PEOPLE, NEW REPORT SAYS BY JOSH SAUL ON 11/14/17 AT 4:58 PM 06 17:46:18 cer #1 11 → 00:01 / 02:56 <p><a href="https://aggravatedvincevaughn.tumblr.com/post/168378824375/southparkconservative-cisnowflake" class="tumblr_blog">aggravatedvincevaughn</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://southparkconservative.tumblr.com/post/168378089394/cisnowflake-siryouarebeingmocked-police" class="tumblr_blog">southparkconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/168376176231/siryouarebeingmocked-police-body-cameras-can" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a href="http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/168374172481/police-body-cameras-can-threaten-civil-rights-of" class="tumblr_blog">siryouarebeingmocked</a>:</p> <blockquote> <h2>&gt;<a href="http://www.newsweek.com/police-body-camera-incident-report-memory-civil-rights-minority-711584">POLICE BODY CAMERAS CAN THREATEN CIVIL RIGHTS OF BLACK AND BROWN PEOPLE, NEW REPORT SAYS&lt; </a>- Newsweek</h2> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="507" data-orig-width="739"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/7034c3cecfadce13d4315f123bdd3a21/tumblr_inline_p0lgbnzrRw1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="507" data-orig-width="739"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="410" data-orig-width="495"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/50003295f0591e191ec87413c99e6254/tumblr_inline_p0lgcjnLxn1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="410" data-orig-width="495"/></figure><p>So, after literal <b>years</b> of people demanding bodycams, this organization is suddenly complaining about their use?</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="625" data-orig-width="722"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c41319b4dace08c7b1cd85f336bf9850/tumblr_inline_p0lgf3W3jj1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="625" data-orig-width="722"/></figure><p>Also, how is this a “civil rights” issue? “Communities of color” (IE poor black neighbourhoods) are “disproportionately surveilled” because that’s where a lot of crime happens. <b>Black people have a higher chance of being murdered than any other racial group</b>. By other black people.</p> </blockquote> <p>Let’s be honest, it’s because in most cases the body cam footage supports the cops side of events. They want innacurate reporting. They want reasonable doubt for criminals. Body cams and their footage creates accountability for everyone involved in an incident, not just the police.</p> <p>That and they just want something to bitch about because <b>NOTHING </b>is ever good enough. </p> </blockquote> <p id="geom_inter_82_1512875396187_20">Some people think about skin pigmentation too much.<br/></p></blockquote> <h1>Jesus Jesus JESUS</h1></blockquote> <p>I think I just got whiplash. Weren’t ya’ll just saying that body cameras were necessary to PREVENT police brutality?</p>
whiplash: Newsweek
 POLICE BODY CAMERAS CAN THREATEN
 CIVIL RIGHTS OF BLACK AND BROWN
 PEOPLE, NEW REPORT SAYS
 BY JOSH SAUL ON 11/14/17 AT 4:58 PM
 06 17:46:18
 cer #1
 11
 → 00:01 / 02:56
<p><a href="https://aggravatedvincevaughn.tumblr.com/post/168378824375/southparkconservative-cisnowflake" class="tumblr_blog">aggravatedvincevaughn</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://southparkconservative.tumblr.com/post/168378089394/cisnowflake-siryouarebeingmocked-police" class="tumblr_blog">southparkconservative</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://cisnowflake.tumblr.com/post/168376176231/siryouarebeingmocked-police-body-cameras-can" class="tumblr_blog">cisnowflake</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a href="http://siryouarebeingmocked.tumblr.com/post/168374172481/police-body-cameras-can-threaten-civil-rights-of" class="tumblr_blog">siryouarebeingmocked</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<h2>&gt;<a href="http://www.newsweek.com/police-body-camera-incident-report-memory-civil-rights-minority-711584">POLICE BODY CAMERAS CAN THREATEN CIVIL RIGHTS OF BLACK AND BROWN PEOPLE, NEW REPORT SAYS&lt; </a>- Newsweek</h2>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="507" data-orig-width="739"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/7034c3cecfadce13d4315f123bdd3a21/tumblr_inline_p0lgbnzrRw1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="507" data-orig-width="739"/></figure><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="410" data-orig-width="495"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/50003295f0591e191ec87413c99e6254/tumblr_inline_p0lgcjnLxn1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="410" data-orig-width="495"/></figure><p>So, after literal <b>years</b> of people demanding bodycams, this organization is suddenly complaining about their use?</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="625" data-orig-width="722"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/c41319b4dace08c7b1cd85f336bf9850/tumblr_inline_p0lgf3W3jj1sps4wz_540.jpg" data-orig-height="625" data-orig-width="722"/></figure><p>Also, how is this a “civil rights” issue? “Communities of color” (IE poor black neighbourhoods) are “disproportionately surveilled” because that’s where a lot of crime happens. <b>Black people have a higher chance of being murdered than any other racial group</b>. By other black people.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Let’s be honest, it’s because in most cases the body cam footage supports the cops side of events. They want innacurate reporting. They want reasonable doubt for criminals. Body cams and their footage creates accountability for everyone involved in an incident, not just the police.</p>
<p>That and they just want something to bitch about because <b>NOTHING </b>is ever good enough. </p>
</blockquote>
<p id="geom_inter_82_1512875396187_20">Some people think about skin pigmentation too much.<br/></p></blockquote>

<h1>Jesus Jesus JESUS</h1></blockquote>

<p>I think I just got whiplash. Weren’t ya’ll just saying that body cameras were necessary to PREVENT police brutality?</p>

<p><a href="https://aggravatedvincevaughn.tumblr.com/post/168378824375/southparkconservative-cisnowflake" class="tumblr_blog">aggravatedv...

whiplash: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
whiplash: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

whiplash: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes
whiplash: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
novelty-gift-ideas:

Passion Lubes

novelty-gift-ideas: Passion Lubes

whiplash: Based Lubricant, 5 5 Drum Passion Lubes 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions About the product The Ultimate Lube Keg .Best Value Lube Pump Included xxBackyard Carnival of Death By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014 Size: 55 Gallon I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a perfect day. Then we brought out the Slip n Slide. The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before allowing them to cue up for the slide. The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the activity I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and desperate for fun. I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure, over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion, they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry, screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in the siding of our home. It was terrifying. When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared, in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper. Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end, no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that. <p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/passion-lubes/"> Passion Lubes </a></b><br/></p></blockquote>
whiplash: Based Lubricant, 5
 5
 Drum Passion Lubes
 3,051 customer reviews 78 answered questions
 About the product
 The Ultimate Lube Keg
 .Best Value
 Lube Pump Included

 xxBackyard Carnival of Death
 By James O. Thach on February 27, 2014
 Size: 55 Gallon
 I'm a risk analyst for a major insurance firm, so when my wife and I were planning a birthday party for our
 seven-year-old, Crispin, my mind naturally turned to liabilities. We'd settled on the theme of a "backyard
 carnival", complete with a swing set, a trampoline, merry-go-round, and a giant Slip n Slide. So I carefully
 inspected the equipment for safety. It all seemed sound
 We have a home on a bluff overlooking the ocean. As it happened, on the day of the party our neighbors were
 trimming their fichus trees. We heard the sound of their wood chipper buzzing occasionally from the other
 side of our tall hedge. It was a little irritating, but not disruptive
 The party started off wonderfully. A clown we'd hired made balloon animals, Crispin eagerly opened his
 presents, and all the children enjoyed cake and fruit punch. The weather was mild, the skies clear. It seemed a
 perfect day.
 Then we brought out the Slip n Slide.
 The problem with water slides is what we in the trade call "distributed water deficiency zones", or in layman's
 terms, dry spots. If a child hits one of these, it can put the brakes on the fun, and send them sliding down a
 path of medical claims--contusions, concussions, lacerations, abrasions, whiplash, back rash, and disc
 impaction. And that's just for starters. From there, it's a slippery slope toward major litigation
 To avoid even the remote possibility of such injuries, I invested in this 55 gallon drum of water soluble
 personal lubricant--the idea being that the children could enjoy the slide in complete safety, then wash off in
 the hose before their parents came to retrieve them. With that in mind, I dipped each child into the vat before
 allowing them to cue up for the slide.

 The Slip n Slide itself performed admirably, as did the lubricant. That, in fact, was the problem. Due to the
 slight downhill gradient of our yard, the children built up so much speed that they skidded across the lawn and
 into a retaining wall at the other end of our property, with sufficient force that I had to put an end to the
 activity
 I endeavored to roll up the mat--no easy task, as the lawn surrounding the slide was itself now lubricated, and
 I struggled to maintain my footing. When I looked up from my labor, I grasped for the first time the scope of
 the liabilities I had unleashed-a horde of extremely well-lubricated seven-year-olds, hyped up on sugar and
 desperate for fun.
 I saw young Eliza Gimmelman climb onto the trampoline. She began jumping, but the pad soon became so
 slick that she lost all control. Her wild flailing unfortunately fell into harmonic synchronization with the
 motion of the springs, propelling her ever higher, until she soared above the trampoline's safety enclosure,
 over the hedge and into the neighbor's yard. There came a ghastly grinding sound, and I could tell from the
 crimson plume that followed, it would be a total loss
 Twins Jeremy and Mason Lafferty were on the swing set. Having attained the swings' full range of motion,
 they were apparently having difficulty holding on. At that point, the swings became human catapults. Mason
 separated on the backswing, arcing over the roof of our home toward the street beyond. I surmised from the
 screeching tires, car horns and screams of horror that he was also unrecoverable. A terrified Jeremy soon lost
 his grip as well, sailing forward over the bluff, and plummeting 300 feet down into the ice-cold, shark-infested
 waters of the San Francisco Bay. An open claim, but not promising
 The rest of the children were clinging to the merry-go-round. Having just witnessed the violent deaths of at
 least two of their playmates, they were no longer in the mood for fun. However, the lubricant had dripped
 from their glistening bodies into the central cog, allowing it to spin far faster than it was designed to, and this
 likely combined with other factors--their relative weight distribution, the slight incline of the ground--caused
 their motion to become self-sustaining, and the centrifugal force built upon itself until they became a blurry,
 screaming disk of human suffering. Then they began to fly off like cannon balls

 Martin Duckworth was the first to go, causing significant structural damage to our greenhouse. Lisa Aurelio
 shattered a line of ceramic garden gnomes, and Ethan Green slammed into our Audi Q7 so hard it had to be
 written off--as, tragically, did he. Several other children left what looked like gingerbread man indentations in
 the siding of our home. It was terrifying.
 When the wheel finally came to a stop, there was only one child aboard. As luck would have it, it was our own
 beloved Crispin, huddled in the center of the merry-go-round, weeping. My wife ran to him and hugged him
 with all the might of a relieved, traumatized parent. A little too hard, as it turned out. Lubricated as he was, he
 shot from her arms like a wet bar of soap, up fifteen feet in the air, landed on the trampoline, and then soared,
 in a half-gainer, over the hedge, into the wood chipper.
 Since then, I've asked myself a thousand times, is there anything I could have done differently? But in the end,
 no actuary table could have predicted this bloodbath. I can only conclude that this was an act of God. And
 that, to me, is truly terrifying. Because we're not covered for that.
<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockquote><p><b><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.com/passion-lubes/">

Passion Lubes

</a></b><br/></p></blockquote>

<p><a href="https://novelty-gift-ideas.tumblr.com/post/166887400578/passion-lubes" class="tumblr_blog">novelty-gift-ideas</a>:</p><blockq...