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Blade, Blessed, and Books: The Elder Scrolls III The elder Scrolls MORROWINTD MORROWIND e9 Do not mm ORK Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD Game of the Year Edition mvention of copy pro strictly prohibited.Confide SAFETY INFORMATION TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction Main Menu Gameplay Controls The Game Screen Stats Menu Inventory Menu Magic Menu Map Menu Races Attributes Derived Attributes Combat Arts ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES A very small percentage of people may visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video experience a seizure when exposed to certain in video games. n undiagnosed These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation entation confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina nearby objects. 16 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The the above symptoms. 19 Stealth Arts of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not Combat Classes Magic Classes Stealth Classes en you are drowsy or fatigued of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up Weapons R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION 28 29 30 .30 30 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor u should read and understand before using this software School of Conjuration VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION School of Illusion School of Destruction not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them. tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or School of Restoration School of Mysticism School of Alteration Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells. 34 35 36 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls Spellmaking Enchanting 39 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set. I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental, Potions, Alchemy Stealth pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited 42 Books, Journal. Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail. Loading and Saving Preferences Credits .46 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind The Elder ScI: Morrowind CREATING YOUR CHARACTER When you first start, you mu entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've DARK ELF In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common usage, but in their Morrowind homeland, they call themselves the "Dunmer." The dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine powerful intellect with strong and agile physiques, producing superior warriors and sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are noted for their skilled and balanced integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and war wizards. RACES You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions vou'll make. ARGONIAN Little is known and less is understood about the reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of defending their borders have made the Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5, Marksman +5, Short Blade +10 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire natural abilities make them equally at home in water and on land. They are well suited for the treacherous swamps of their homeland, and have developed natural immunities to the diseases and poisons that have doomed many would-be explorers of the region. HIGH ELF The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden- skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts, crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far more resistant to disease than the lesser races. Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5 Spear +5, Unarmored+5 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock, Resistant to Disease BRETON Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond with the mercurial forces of magic and the supernatural. Many great sorcerers have IMPERIAL Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well- spoken. Though physically less imposing than the other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and to have erected the monument to peace and prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire. from the home province of High Rock, and in addition to their quick and perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment, and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons boast a high resistance to destructive and dominating magical energies. Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5 Illusion +5 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S, Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind 13 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind BIRTHSIGNS In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences. STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES THIEVES Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence, and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and in their acquisitive activities cleverness THE APPRENTICE Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but also have a weakness to it. AGENTS atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but dasTHE ATRONACH trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to various patrons or causes. Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them. THE LADY Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande and Personality. ASSASSINS Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless murderers or principled agents of noble causes. THE LORD Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak to fire THE LOVER Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can paralyze others with a kiss. ACROBATS Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility and cunning to avoid capture. THE MAGE Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka. MONKS Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of ranged and close-combat weapons. THE RITUAL Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and turn undead. THE SERPENT Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of PILGRIMS Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become shrewd in commerce and persuasion their own Health. THE SHADOW Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible. THE STEED Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster BARDS Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of their educational experiences THE THIEF Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit. THE TOWER detect things at a distance. Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and THE WARRIOR 25 I miss the days when games came with manuals
Blade, Blessed, and Books: The Elder Scrolls III
 The elder Scrolls
 MORROWINTD
 MORROWIND
 e9
 Do not mm
 ORK
 Media company.The Elder Scrolls, Morrowind
 Bink Video, Copynight 1997-2001 by RAD
 Game of the Year Edition
 mvention of copy pro
 strictly prohibited.Confide

 SAFETY INFORMATION
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
 Introduction
 Main Menu
 Gameplay Controls
 The Game Screen
 Stats Menu
 Inventory Menu
 Magic Menu
 Map Menu
 Races
 Attributes
 Derived Attributes
 Combat Arts
 ABOUT PHOTOSENSITIVE SEIZURES
 A very small percentage of people may
 visual images, including flashing lights or patterns that may appear
 Even people who have no history of seizures or epilepsy may have a
 condition that can cause these photosensitve epileptic seizures while watching video
 experience a seizure when exposed to certain
 in video games.
 n undiagnosed
 These seizures may have a variety of symptoms including: lightheadedness
 vision, eye or face twitching, jerking or shaking of arms or legs, disorientation
 entation
 confusion, or momentary loss of awareness. Seizures may also cause loss of
 consciousness or convulsions that can lead to injury from falling down or strikina
 nearby objects.
 16
 mmediately stop playing and consult a doctor if you experience any of these
 symptoms Parents should watch for or ask their children about
 hildren and teenagers are more likely than adults to experience these seizures. The
 the above symptoms.
 19
 Stealth Arts
 of photosensitive epileptic seizures may be reduced by sitting farther from the
 using a smaller television screen, playing in a well-lit room, and not
 Combat Classes
 Magic Classes
 Stealth Classes
 en you are drowsy or fatigued
 of your relatives have a history of seizures or epilepsy, consult a doctor
 Increasing Your Skills and Leveling Up
 Weapons
 R IMPORTANT HEALTH AND SAFETY INFORMATION
 28
 29
 30
 .30
 30
 ox Instruction Manual contains important safety and health information that
 Using Weapons, Repairing Weapons & Armor
 u should read and understand before using this software
 School of Conjuration
 VOID DAMAGE TO YOUR TELEVISION
 School of Illusion
 School of Destruction
 not use with certain televisions. Some televisions, especially front- or rear-projection
 pes, can be damaged if any video games, including Xbox games, are played on them.
 tatic images presented during the normal course of game play may burn in to the
 creen, causing a permanent shadow of the static image to appear at all times, even
 when video games are not being played. Similar damage may occur from static images
 eated when placing a video game on hold or pause. Consult your television owner's
 nanual to determine if video games can be safely played safely on your set. If you are
 unable to find this information in the owner's manual, contact your television dealer or
 School of Restoration
 School of Mysticism
 School of Alteration
 Abilities, Powers, Diseases, Spells.
 34
 35
 36
 Magic Items, Magic Scrolls
 Spellmaking
 Enchanting
 39
 the manufacturer to determine if video games can be played safely on your set.
 I Unauthorized copying, reverse engineering, transmission, public performance, rental,
 Potions, Alchemy
 Stealth
 pay for play, or circumvention of copy protection is strictly prohibited
 42
 Books, Journal.
 Containers, Resting and Waiting, Fast Travel, Crime and Jail.
 Loading and Saving
 Preferences
 Credits
 .46
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 The Elder ScI: Morrowind

 CREATING YOUR CHARACTER
 When you first start, you mu
 entered in your Name, you'l be asked to select a Race, Class, and Bithsign
 ist decide what kind of player you will be. After you've
 DARK ELF
 In the Empire, "Dark Elf is the common
 usage, but in their Morrowind homeland,
 they call themselves the "Dunmer." The
 dark-skinned, red-eyed Dunmer combine
 powerful intellect with strong and agile
 physiques, producing superior warriors and
 sorcerers. On the battlefield, Dark Elves are
 noted for their skilled and balanced
 integration of swordsmen, marksmen, and
 war wizards.
 RACES
 You may choose from 10 races commonly encountered in MORROWIND. Since each
 race has unique abilities, selecting your race is one of the most important decisions
 vou'll make.
 ARGONIAN
 Little is known and less is understood about the
 reptilian denizens of Black Marsh. Years of
 defending their borders have made the
 Argonians experts in guerilla warfare, and their
 Skill Bonuses: Long Blade +5, Destruction +10, Light Armor +5, Athletics +5, Mysticism +5,
 Marksman +5, Short Blade +10
 Specials: Ancestor Guardian, Resistant to Fire
 natural abilities make them equally at home in
 water and on land. They are well suited for the
 treacherous swamps of their homeland, and
 have developed natural immunities to the
 diseases and poisons that have doomed many
 would-be explorers of the region.
 HIGH ELF
 The High Elves, or Altmer, are the proud, tall, golden-
 skinned peoples of Summerset Isle. The common
 tongue of the Empire, Tamrielic, is based on their
 speech and writing, and most of the Empire's arts,
 crafts, and sciences are derived from High Elven
 traditions. Deft, intelligent, and strong-willed, High
 Elves are often gifted in the arcane arts, and are far
 more resistant to disease than the lesser races.
 Skill Bonuses: Alchemy +5, Athletics +15,Illusion +5, Medium Armor +5, Mysticism +5
 Spear +5, Unarmored+5
 Specials: Resist Disease, Immune to Poison, Water Breathing
 Skill: Destruction +10, Enchant +10, Alchemy +10, Alteration +5, Conjuration +5,Illusion +5
 Specials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Weakness to Magicka, Fire, Frost, and Shock,
 Resistant to Disease
 BRETON
 Bretons feel an inborn, instinctive bond
 with the mercurial forces of magic and the
 supernatural. Many great sorcerers have
 IMPERIAL
 Natives of the civilized, cosmopolitan province of
 Cyrodiil, the Imperials are well-educated and well-
 spoken. Though physically less imposing than the
 other races, the Imperials have proved to be shrewd
 diplomats and traders. These traits, along with their
 remarkable skill and training as light infantry, have
 enabled them to subdue all the other provinces and
 to have erected the monument to peace and
 prosperity that comprises the Glorious Empire.
 from the home province of High
 Rock, and in addition to their quick and
 perceptive grasp of spellcraft, enchantment,
 and alchemy, even the humblest of Bretons
 boast a high resistance to destructive and
 dominating magical energies.
 Skill Bonuses: Conjuration +10, Mysticism +10, Restoration +10, Alchemy +5, Alteration +5
 Illusion +5
 pecials: Fortified Maximum Magicka, Dragon Skin, Resist Magicka
 SKILL BONUSES: Speechcraft+10, Mercantile+10, Long Blade +10, Blunt Weapon +S,
 Light Armor +5, Hand to Hand +5
 SPECIALS: Star of the West, Voice of the Emperor
 The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 13
 The Elder crlsIII: Morowind

 BIRTHSIGNS
 In Tamriel, persons born under certain constellations are said to be fortunate in their
 aspects', Such persons are often blessed-or cursed- with remarkable abilities or
 weaknesses as a result of the magical conjunctions of celestíal influences.
 STEALTH SPECIALIZED CLASSES
 THIEVES
 Thieves are pickpockets and pilferers. Unlike robbers, who kill and
 loot, thieves typically choose stealth and subterfuge over violence,
 and often entertain romantic notions of their charm and
 in their acquisitive activities
 cleverness
 THE APPRENTICE
 Those bom under the sign of The Apprentice have increased Magicka, but
 also have a weakness to it.
 AGENTS
 atives skilled in deception and avoidance, but
 dasTHE ATRONACH
 trained in self-defense and the use of deadly force. Self-reliant and
 independent, agents devote themselves to personal goals, or to
 various patrons or causes.
 Those born under the sign of The Atronach cannot regenerate Magicka, but
 have a chance of absorbing any magic cast at them.
 THE LADY
 Those born under the sign of The Lady have increased Endurande
 and Personality.
 ASSASSINS
 Assassins are killers who rely on stealth and mobility to approach
 victims undetected. Execution is performed with ranged weapons
 or with short blades for close work. Assassins can be ruthless
 murderers or principled agents of noble causes.
 THE LORD
 Those born under the sign of The Lord can regenerate Health, but are weak
 to fire
 THE LOVER
 Those born under the sign of The Lover have increased Agility and can
 paralyze others with a kiss.
 ACROBATS
 Acrobať' is a polite euphemism for agile burglars and second-story
 men, These thieves avoid detection by stealth, and rely on mobility
 and cunning to avoid capture.
 THE MAGE
 Those born under the sign of The Mage have increased Magicka.
 MONKS
 Monks are students of the ancient martial arts of hand-to-hand
 combat and unarmored self-defense. Monks avoid detection by
 stealth, mobility, and agility, and are skilled with a variety of
 ranged and close-combat weapons.
 THE RITUAL
 Those born under the sign of The Ritual can heal themselves and
 turn undead.
 THE SERPENT
 Those born under the sign of The Serpent can poison others at a loss of
 PILGRIMS
 Pilgrims are travelers, seekers of truth and enlightenment. They
 fortify themselves for road and wilderness with arms, armor, and
 magic, and through wide experience of the world, they become
 shrewd in commerce and persuasion
 their own Health.
 THE SHADOW
 Those born under the sign of The Shadow can make themselves invisible.
 THE STEED
 Those born under the sign of The Steed can move faster
 BARDS
 Bards are loremasters and storytellers. They crave adventure for the
 wisdom and insight to be gained, and must depend on sword
 shield, spell, and enchantment to preserve them from the perils of
 their educational experiences
 THE THIEF
 Those born under the sign of The Thief are harder to hit.
 THE TOWER
 detect things at a distance.
 Those born under the sign of The Warrior have an increased chance
 Those born under the sign of The Tower can unlock doors magically and
 THE WARRIOR
 25
I miss the days when games came with manuals

I miss the days when games came with manuals

Bad, Birthday, and Butt: FIND YOUR YA BOOK TITLE and MONTH YO U WERE BORN YOUR LAST NAME LAST LETTER O F DAY OF YOUR BIRTHDAY 1 Other Loose Ends 2 Other Things Im Over 3 Other Lies I've Believed 30 Other Fatal Circumstances 4 Other Big, Round Things 31 Other Skullduggeries 5 Other Things I Can't Have 6 Other Lies Ive Told 7 - Other Statistical Improbabilities 8 Other Signs of the End of the World 9 Other Things the Fairies Stole 10 Other Impossible Ordeals 11- Other Signs of Vampirism 12 Other Inexplicable Phenomenon 13 Other Things That Nearly Killed Me 14 Other Reasons No One Will Talk To Me 15 Other Holes in the Fabric of the Universe 16 Other Things That Are Better In Space 17 Other Natural Disasters 18 Other Reasons I'm Banned From the Library 19 Other Reasons I Have To Leave the Country 20 Other Things That Should Happen At Midnight 21 Other Side Effects of Being 16 22 Other Intangible Things 23 Other Peculiar Melancholies 24- Other Steps to Madness 25 Other Alternatives to Necromancy 28 Other Bad Ideas 29- Other Royal Bastards January: A The Sun B Planets C Evil Plots D Fairy Princes E Fate F- The Statue of Liberty G My Butt H- Nikola Tesla I The End of the World J- The Universe K Book Club L Tarot Cards M Assassins N Frida Kahlo O Spies P - Dirty, Rotten Lies Q Rainy Saturdays R Hate S Liberty T- Vampires U-Boyfriends V Girlfriends W- Wizards X- Ping-Pong Y - Totalitarian Regimes 26 Other Unspeakable Evils Z Karl Marx Love Boys Girls Honor Roll February: March: April: May: June July: August: September October November Happy Endings Macchiatos Boy Bands Summertime Cake French Kissing Popularity Chemistry December: 27 Other Unbreakable Laws of Nature basic-banshee: bookporn: I’m still laughing with mine XD via Drunk Austen on Facebook Honour Roll, Planets, and Other Things That Nearly Killed Me.
Bad, Birthday, and Butt: FIND YOUR YA BOOK TITLE
 and
 MONTH YO U
 WERE BORN YOUR LAST NAME
 LAST LETTER
 O F
 DAY OF YOUR
 BIRTHDAY
 1 Other Loose Ends
 2 Other Things Im Over
 3 Other Lies I've Believed 30 Other Fatal Circumstances
 4 Other Big, Round Things 31 Other Skullduggeries
 5 Other Things I Can't Have
 6 Other Lies Ive Told
 7 - Other Statistical Improbabilities
 8 Other Signs of the End of the World
 9 Other Things the Fairies Stole
 10 Other Impossible Ordeals
 11- Other Signs of Vampirism
 12 Other Inexplicable Phenomenon
 13 Other Things That Nearly Killed Me
 14 Other Reasons No One Will Talk To Me
 15 Other Holes in the Fabric of the Universe
 16 Other Things That Are Better In Space
 17 Other Natural Disasters
 18 Other Reasons I'm Banned From the Library
 19 Other Reasons I Have To Leave the Country
 20 Other Things That Should Happen At Midnight
 21 Other Side Effects of Being 16
 22 Other Intangible Things
 23 Other Peculiar Melancholies
 24- Other Steps to Madness
 25 Other Alternatives to Necromancy
 28 Other Bad Ideas
 29- Other Royal Bastards
 January:
 A The Sun
 B Planets
 C Evil Plots
 D Fairy Princes
 E Fate
 F- The Statue of Liberty
 G My Butt
 H- Nikola Tesla
 I The End of the World
 J- The Universe
 K Book Club
 L Tarot Cards
 M Assassins
 N Frida Kahlo
 O Spies
 P - Dirty, Rotten Lies
 Q Rainy Saturdays
 R Hate
 S Liberty
 T- Vampires
 U-Boyfriends
 V Girlfriends
 W- Wizards
 X- Ping-Pong
 Y - Totalitarian Regimes 26 Other Unspeakable Evils
 Z Karl Marx
 Love
 Boys
 Girls
 Honor Roll
 February:
 March:
 April:
 May:
 June
 July:
 August:
 September
 October
 November
 Happy Endings
 Macchiatos
 Boy Bands
 Summertime
 Cake
 French Kissing
 Popularity
 Chemistry
 December:
 27 Other Unbreakable Laws of Nature
basic-banshee:
bookporn:


I’m still laughing with mine XD
via Drunk Austen on Facebook


Honour Roll, Planets, and Other Things That Nearly Killed Me.

basic-banshee: bookporn: I’m still laughing with mine XD via Drunk Austen on Facebook Honour Roll, Planets, and Other Things That Nearly...

Apparently, Church, and Fail: captainlovelxce hey have i ever told y all about my cursed apartment building cursed how, you say???? well, here's the thing: no-one can fuckin see it. let me explain further .i live in a tiny flat in a big red brick building with huge windows. it has a driveway with two columns on either side not a thing you usually see in this area. it is opposite a bus stop and several corner shops. it is on a main, busy road. most significantly, it is attached to a church. a well- known church with a big pink sign on the front. all things that would make it easy to spot, right???? like if i gave that list of distinguishing features to someone along with my address then they'd be able to find my filat easily, right??? well APPARENTLY NOT we have never once had a delivery to our flat (outside of the usual postal service) where we haven't been called by a lost courier usually, they are about thirty seconds away. "i'm by the church and i don't know where to go from here," they say. so we tell them, "it's the building right next to the church!! the one you're outside. that church. it's the next building along. it's opposite a bus stop and it has a driveway with two big columns." without fail, they call back 5-10 minutes later, still lost. i have answered calls from both lost delivery people and friends where i've been able to see them standing in front of the driveway, from my window a friend of mine once drove past my building three times, while on the phone to me, getting increasingly panicked that she couldn't figure out where she was going. she parked in a nearby road and i had to walk to her car and guide her to the driveway however, my flatmate and i found this place when we were flat-hunting first time, no trouble, and we don't know what that means other than i guess this place chose us and the rent is so cheap because the estate agents were so relieved to find the first people in a thousand years who could actually see this fuckin building . today a food delivery person called me to say he was outside the church was told to go to the next building along, (a 20 second journey on foot) and arrived at my door 20 minutes later, saying, "sorry, i went to the back of this building by mistake. weird right???" this building doesn't have a back it backs onto the rest of the church it doesn't have a back where did he go . . toastynoneofyourbusiness There's probably a wizard's pub somewhere around there and the spell keeps overlapping with the nearby buildings captainlovelxce i haven't really been interacting with the notes on this post bc it blew up unexpectedly and ive been rly busy, but reblogging again to say - holy fuck, there is actually a pub just down the road that's all boarded up and derelict but i HAVE seen people go in and out of it and sometimes you can see a light on in the upstairs window Source:motherfortuna #bahahahahah #sacred space #fairy circle 92,553 notes TFW you live in a liminal space
Apparently, Church, and Fail: captainlovelxce
 hey have i ever told y all about my cursed apartment building
 cursed how, you say???? well, here's the thing: no-one can fuckin see it. let me
 explain further
 .i live in a tiny flat in a big red brick building with huge windows. it has a
 driveway with two columns on either side not a thing you usually see in
 this area. it is opposite a bus stop and several corner shops. it is on a
 main, busy road. most significantly, it is attached to a church. a well-
 known church with a big pink sign on the front.
 all things that would make it easy to spot, right???? like if i gave that list of
 distinguishing features to someone along with my address then they'd be
 able to find my filat easily, right??? well APPARENTLY NOT
 we have never once had a delivery to our flat (outside of the usual postal
 service) where we haven't been called by a lost courier
 usually, they are about thirty seconds away. "i'm by the church and i don't
 know where to go from here," they say. so we tell them, "it's the building
 right next to the church!! the one you're outside. that church. it's the next
 building along. it's opposite a bus stop and it has a driveway with two big
 columns."
 without fail, they call back 5-10 minutes later, still lost.
 i have answered calls from both lost delivery people and friends where
 i've been able to see them standing in front of the driveway, from my
 window
 a friend of mine once drove past my building three times, while on the
 phone to me, getting increasingly panicked that she couldn't figure out
 where she was going. she parked in a nearby road and i had to walk to
 her car and guide her to the driveway
 however, my flatmate and i found this place when we were flat-hunting
 first time, no trouble, and we don't know what that means other than i
 guess this place chose us and the rent is so cheap because the estate
 agents were so relieved to find the first people in a thousand years who
 could actually see this fuckin building
 .
 today a food delivery person called me to say he was outside the church
 was told to go to the next building along, (a 20 second journey on foot)
 and arrived at my door 20 minutes later, saying, "sorry, i went to the back
 of this building by mistake. weird right???"
 this building doesn't have a back
 it backs onto the rest of the church it doesn't have a back where did he go
 .
 .
 toastynoneofyourbusiness
 There's probably a wizard's pub somewhere around there and the spell keeps
 overlapping with the nearby buildings
 captainlovelxce
 i haven't really been interacting with the notes on this post bc it blew up
 unexpectedly and ive been rly busy, but reblogging again to say - holy fuck,
 there is actually a pub just down the road that's all boarded up and derelict but i
 HAVE seen people go in and out of it and sometimes you can see a light on in
 the upstairs window
 Source:motherfortuna
 #bahahahahah
 #sacred space #fairy circle
 92,553 notes
TFW you live in a liminal space

TFW you live in a liminal space

Anaconda, Ass, and Bad: 100%-12:12 did-you-kno did you know? On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved themselves where they stood and vanished the evidence. On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved themselves where they stood, and vanished the evidence. Source Source 2 i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to make it bad to the point where she said that every character in harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit vanishing spell zahnegott fuck this is b a d mutant-aesthetic This reminds me of the huffepuff group masturbation tweets The what? Turtie Feinstein 09 dan JK Rowling Does Hogwarts have sex ed classes? J.K. Rowling rowing Follo MoaningTurtle Unfortunately no. Wizards tend to be a little more conservative with such things (1/3) 4、 다2,835 ★6222 J.K. Rowling Follo MoaningTurtie Of course, like all teens, they eventually figure things out and experiment with their sexuality (2/3) J.K. Rowling Folow MoaningTurtle For example, group masturbation sessions are exceedingly common in the Hogwarts dormitories, particularly Hufflepuff C3/3) 1,833 4,82 Just imagine you're taking a test for potions with Snape and the guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd Jinglelangles cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass line like "vanish me poopum" and you just gotta live with the knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you duringa fucking test urulokid how do you delete someone elses post crylie I am in tears Joe what the fuck did you make me read This gotta be fake They literally have bathrooms in Hogwarts like theyre pretty important to the plot too did jk just forget about that? The bathroom where mystle lives (she literally dives into a toilet)? The prefects bathroom? How can she claim theres no bathrooms??? this post gave me mesothelioma and I feel entitled to compensation thebibliosphere lpot to "vanish me poopum" and lost my mind. I've been cry laughing for about five minutes. Source: didyouknowblog.com 205,228 notes fecesious disapperius
Anaconda, Ass, and Bad: 100%-12:12
 did-you-kno
 did you know?
 On the Pottermore website,
 J.K. Rowling explains how wizards poop.
 There's an excerpt about the Chamber
 of Secrets that says wizards didn't need
 toilets because they 'simply relieved
 themselves where they stood
 and vanished the evidence.
 On the Pottermore website, J.K. Rowling explains how wizards
 poop. There's an excerpt about the Chamber of Secrets that
 says wizards didn't need toilets because they 'simply relieved
 themselves where they stood, and vanished the evidence.
 Source Source 2
 i fucking hate jk rowling so much because years and years
 after this franchise has ended she is still continuing trying to
 make it bad to the point where she said that every character in
 harry potter canonically shits themselves and then casts a shit
 vanishing spell
 zahnegott
 fuck this is b a d
 mutant-aesthetic
 This reminds me of the huffepuff group masturbation tweets
 The what?
 Turtie Feinstein
 09 dan
 JK Rowling Does Hogwarts have sex ed classes?
 J.K. Rowling
 rowing
 Follo
 MoaningTurtle Unfortunately no. Wizards tend to be a
 little more conservative with such things (1/3)
 4、
 다2,835
 ★6222
 J.K. Rowling
 Follo
 MoaningTurtie Of course, like all teens, they
 eventually figure things out and experiment with their
 sexuality (2/3)
 J.K. Rowling
 Folow
 MoaningTurtle For example, group masturbation
 sessions are exceedingly common in the Hogwarts
 dormitories, particularly Hufflepuff C3/3)
 1,833 4,82
 Just imagine you're taking a test for potions with Snape and the
 guy sitting next to you just fucking shits himself the nastiest
 slimiest shit of his life out of stress. And you literally have to
 sit there with a straight face while fuckin Todd Jinglelangles
 cleans himself up in the dead quiet room with some stupid ass
 line like "vanish me poopum" and you just gotta live with the
 knowledge that some kid just shit himself beside you duringa
 fucking test
 urulokid
 how do you delete someone elses post
 crylie
 I am in tears
 Joe what the fuck did you make me read
 This gotta be fake
 They literally have bathrooms in Hogwarts like theyre pretty
 important to the plot too did jk just forget about that?
 The bathroom where mystle lives (she literally dives into a
 toilet)? The prefects bathroom? How can she claim theres
 no bathrooms??? this post gave me mesothelioma and I feel
 entitled to compensation
 thebibliosphere
 lpot to "vanish me poopum" and lost my mind. I've been cry
 laughing for about five minutes.
 Source: didyouknowblog.com
 205,228 notes
fecesious disapperius

fecesious disapperius