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Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: His freedom ride home, he realized he was being adopted. He also tried to steal my cheeseburger @DrSmashlove Reddit u/3riny3s A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tom’s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got aluminum in it 😖. Bro!! How u gon be a natural product and u got aluminum! I read the packaging closely and it said “naturally sourced aluminum.” FOH 😂. “We naturally select our poisonous metallic substances from the finest natural mines.” Aluminum is an ELEMENT. It’s pure. There is no difference between aluminum from recycled pepsi cans and aluminum from a mine. I was mad AF 😤. So I went back on my quest to find something natural. Well lo and behold Tom’s makes natural deodorant that’s called “wild lavender”. And lemme tell u - it smell pleasant asf! Like basically u slather it on and u sniff ya underarm and u magically transported to the soap aisle of Whole Food and a pleasant hipster girl with ear spacers, short hair, and a name tag that say “RAIN” smile at u 😍 (side note: was she born ‘Rain’? Or is her name Mandy but she adopted the name ‘Rain’ after attending burning man and dropping acid once? Maybe her Nani make it ‘Rain’? 😍 lmao I’m wild lemme stop 😂.) Caveat: if u work out hard AF like me, it will wear off a lil bit. Like for a 100 degree hot summertime Chi day u might could go with the Tom’s north woods aluminum joint. It will give u cancer-memory loss but at least u smell spicy 😂. Also and I done said this before: I shave my public hair which is a tradition among people of my faith. I know some of u women like “ew - DEALBREAKER!” WELL FU— just kidding! Baby girl that’s fair! 😂 I accept our incompatibility and hope u find the hairy Chewbacca lookin a$$ Man of ya dreams! 😍 Now then u men out here at the gym with the grapefruit sized amazon rainforest patch of stinky-ass underarm hair that drip white liquid on the elliptical, the ‘wild lavender’ may not cut it 😂. Y’all got that ‘built in’ stincc u probably need Mitchum. But if u down with that razor life it will give u plenty of protection against Le Stincc. May all of u live blessed and chemical free lives bless up 😍😂
Af, Amazon, and Anaconda: His freedom ride home, he realized he was
 being adopted. He also tried to steal my
 cheeseburger
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/3riny3s
A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tom’s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got aluminum in it 😖. Bro!! How u gon be a natural product and u got aluminum! I read the packaging closely and it said “naturally sourced aluminum.” FOH 😂. “We naturally select our poisonous metallic substances from the finest natural mines.” Aluminum is an ELEMENT. It’s pure. There is no difference between aluminum from recycled pepsi cans and aluminum from a mine. I was mad AF 😤. So I went back on my quest to find something natural. Well lo and behold Tom’s makes natural deodorant that’s called “wild lavender”. And lemme tell u - it smell pleasant asf! Like basically u slather it on and u sniff ya underarm and u magically transported to the soap aisle of Whole Food and a pleasant hipster girl with ear spacers, short hair, and a name tag that say “RAIN” smile at u 😍 (side note: was she born ‘Rain’? Or is her name Mandy but she adopted the name ‘Rain’ after attending burning man and dropping acid once? Maybe her Nani make it ‘Rain’? 😍 lmao I’m wild lemme stop 😂.) Caveat: if u work out hard AF like me, it will wear off a lil bit. Like for a 100 degree hot summertime Chi day u might could go with the Tom’s north woods aluminum joint. It will give u cancer-memory loss but at least u smell spicy 😂. Also and I done said this before: I shave my public hair which is a tradition among people of my faith. I know some of u women like “ew - DEALBREAKER!” WELL FU— just kidding! Baby girl that’s fair! 😂 I accept our incompatibility and hope u find the hairy Chewbacca lookin a$$ Man of ya dreams! 😍 Now then u men out here at the gym with the grapefruit sized amazon rainforest patch of stinky-ass underarm hair that drip white liquid on the elliptical, the ‘wild lavender’ may not cut it 😂. Y’all got that ‘built in’ stincc u probably need Mitchum. But if u down with that razor life it will give u plenty of protection against Le Stincc. May all of u live blessed and chemical free lives bless up 😍😂

A few weeks ago I hyped up a anti perspirant called Tom’s North Woods. It smells absolutely wonderful and works great. HOWEVER. It got alumi...

Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her swaddling technique on the dog. Reddit u/ohaivoltage @DrSmashlove So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂
Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her
 swaddling technique on the dog.
 Reddit u/ohaivoltage
 @DrSmashlove
So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂

So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and fo...

Birthday, Family, and Memes: 22-Year-Old Last Seen Leaving For A Plenty Of Fish Date Found Dead In Maryland@balleralert 22-Year-Old Last Seen Leaving For A Plenty Of Fish Date Found Dead In Maryland - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Nine months after a 22-year-old Washington man was reported missing, skeletal remains found in a wooded area in Prince George’s County, Maryland have been linked to Marty McMillan Jr. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to Daily News, back in April, McMillan was last seen heading out for a date with a woman he met on Plenty of Fish. Six months later, remains were found in the woods but weren’t confirmed to be McMillan’s until recently. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ After McMillan’s disappearance, his family launched a search party every weekend to find clues that would lead to his whereabouts. One month later, McMillan’s car was found three miles from last known location. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Police say McMillan was shot several times inside an apartment before his body was dumped in the wooded area. At the time of his disappearance, officials told The Washington Post, that his cards had been used and his last phone call was to the woman he was supposed to be meeting. However, the woman told officials that she didn’t have her phone at the time and she never saw him. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thursday would have been McMillan’s 23rd birthday. No arrests have been made in the incident.
Birthday, Family, and Memes: 22-Year-Old Last Seen Leaving For A
 Plenty Of Fish Date Found Dead In
 Maryland@balleralert
22-Year-Old Last Seen Leaving For A Plenty Of Fish Date Found Dead In Maryland - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Nine months after a 22-year-old Washington man was reported missing, skeletal remains found in a wooded area in Prince George’s County, Maryland have been linked to Marty McMillan Jr. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ According to Daily News, back in April, McMillan was last seen heading out for a date with a woman he met on Plenty of Fish. Six months later, remains were found in the woods but weren’t confirmed to be McMillan’s until recently. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ After McMillan’s disappearance, his family launched a search party every weekend to find clues that would lead to his whereabouts. One month later, McMillan’s car was found three miles from last known location. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Police say McMillan was shot several times inside an apartment before his body was dumped in the wooded area. At the time of his disappearance, officials told The Washington Post, that his cards had been used and his last phone call was to the woman he was supposed to be meeting. However, the woman told officials that she didn’t have her phone at the time and she never saw him. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thursday would have been McMillan’s 23rd birthday. No arrests have been made in the incident.

22-Year-Old Last Seen Leaving For A Plenty Of Fish Date Found Dead In Maryland - blogged by @MsJennyb ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Nine months after a 22...