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Poop, Roomba, and Rugs: love it with a caveat November 4, 201 By Previously my wife and l read the post about someone's Roomba trailing through dog poop. We laughed and didn't think another thing about it Let me tell you how yesterday went. While at a training for work l receive a text message from my 10 year daughter Dad, please call me the floors are dead.' I assumed that auto correct had gotten involved and was trying to figure out what it had corrected from. Also in the back of my mind l assumed our 14 year old lab Dalmatian mix had passed away, only to be found by our daughter. attempted to call my daughter with no answer and then called my wife. My wife had received the same text and had talked to our daughter Our lab is fine, our daughter was not. It appears that during our absence our 85 pound Band-dog mastiff had a bit of stomach distress. This in its self isn't a big deal as pet owner we understand that periodically "poop happens." What caused our very articulate 10 year daughter to become stymied was the fact that Rudy (our Roomba's name at 1415 hours started his tour of duty Roomba's name) at 1415 hours started his tour of duty Our daughter entered the house at around 1430. Rudy had been diligently cleaning our house for 15 minutes give or take. It seems that he had made a bee line towards the piles of dog stomach distress and then gleefully in a poop filled rampage "cleaned" the house. don't know if dog excrement somehow is a super boost to Roombas (much like speed boosts on video games or if Rudy somewhere deep in his programing has a code built in that basically states "if dog mess is found, crank all operations up to 11 But it appears that in a very small bit of time he had somehow traversed into the master bedroom, the hall way, kitchen and of course the living room As any Roomba owner knows they travel in spiral patterns, they bump into walls and furniture and they stop and spin looking for dust or hair. This built in patterning is truly effective in the elimination of pet hair, dust and small bits of debris. This patterning also seems to mimic the path a three year old hopped up on red bull and given an open full paint can, would have. If you keep the afore mentioned three year old in mind and substitute poop for paint that is what we are looking at. Roombas also have a small propeller like, brush attachment. This attachment sticks out in front of the Roomba. Its' original purpose appears to be reaching into corners where the round Roomba cannot reach. Unfortunately, this attachment also seems to have the ability to violate the known laws of physics by flinging poop in all directions, angles around corners, inside locked cabinets, and oddly straight up in the air to hit a 12 foot ceiling. So give that three year old a fan and let them swing it around as much as possible So back to our daughter, as she entered the house she was struck by a smell that could only be described as Cerebos's backyard after being fed Taco Bell and shock, she looked down, up and around and observed the poopy Pollock patterning on the walls. She immediately went further into the house, (where she got the strength of will will never know to find her phone to text her parents Before she could reach her phone, a poop flinging Rudy turned the corner and the chase was on. I don't know what happen in the time between our daughter being spotted by the poop flinging Rudy and the text message because she refuses to talk about it. She was able to stop the rampage by disabling Rudy and moving him to the backyard. After which she sent the text. I do have a theory on why she sent the "floors are dead" text. She being a normal 10 year girl has yet to witness anything close to the atrocity she saw. Given that she could only process the thought "the floors are dead" In hopes we would call and she could articulate the carnage Back to my wife, I didn't get all the above information until after the event. I was talking to my wife when she initially entered the house. All heard was the garage door open about 20 seconds of silence, a very soft "oh God" and then her telling me "it's bad, I'll call you back.' In her shock, she forgot to hang up the phone and for the next 5 or so minutes l could hear snippets of "How did it get there? Why, Oh man we might need to buy a rug, we just put in new floors, Oh God arrived home at around 1830 hours. Our house smelt of beach and cleaning fluid. My wife and daughter both freshly showered, both sitting down, both having only what can be described as a 1000 yard stare. My wife did the thought "the floors are dead" In hopes we would call and she could articulate the carnage Back to my wife, I didn't get all the above information until after the event. was talking to my wife when she initially entered the house. All I heard was the garage door open about 20 seconds of silence, a very soft "oh God" and then her telling me "it's bad, l'll call you back" In her shock, she forgot to hang up the phone and for the next 5 or so minutes l could hear snippets of "How did it get there? Why, Oh man we might need to buy a rug, we just put in new floors, Oh God arrived home at around 1830 hours. Our house smelt of beach and cleaning fluid. My wife and daughter both freshly showered, both sitting down, both having only what can be described as a 1000 yard stare. My wife did say three words, "He is outside tried to take Rudy apart as much as light and my stomach would allow. As it stands right now some of his parts are soaking in a solution of bleach and water. I am hoping through the next week l will be able to thoroughly clean his outsides and insides So if I was to rate the Roomba l would highly suggest it others. We love the little guy, he has cleaned our floors without compliant, been a source of entertainment, and reduces our work load with our pets do have to add one caveat. If you own pets only allow the Roomba to work while you are there. Or you will spend a week cleaning out at poop filled Roomba 1,404 of 1,445 people found this review helpful Helpful Not Helpful Another Roomba-pet-mess review.
Poop, Roomba, and Rugs: love it with a caveat
 November 4, 201
 By
 Previously my wife and l read the post about someone's
 Roomba trailing through dog poop. We laughed and didn't
 think another thing about it
 Let me tell you how yesterday went. While at a training for
 work l receive a text message from my 10 year daughter
 Dad, please call me the floors are dead.' I assumed that
 auto correct had gotten involved and was trying to figure
 out what it had corrected from. Also in the back of my
 mind l assumed our 14 year old lab Dalmatian mix had
 passed away, only to be found by our daughter.
 attempted to call my daughter with no answer and then
 called my wife. My wife had received the same text and
 had talked to our daughter
 Our lab is fine, our daughter was not. It appears that
 during our absence our 85 pound Band-dog mastiff had a
 bit of stomach distress. This in its self isn't a big deal as
 pet owner we understand that periodically "poop
 happens." What caused our very articulate 10 year
 daughter to become stymied was the fact that Rudy (our
 Roomba's name at 1415 hours started his tour of duty

 Roomba's name) at 1415 hours started his tour of duty
 Our daughter entered the house at around 1430. Rudy
 had been diligently cleaning our house for 15 minutes
 give or take. It seems that he had made a bee line
 towards the piles of dog stomach distress and then
 gleefully in a poop filled rampage "cleaned" the house.
 don't know if dog excrement somehow is a super boost to
 Roombas (much like speed boosts on video games or if
 Rudy somewhere deep in his programing has a code built
 in that basically states "if dog mess is found, crank all
 operations up to 11 But it appears that in a very small bit
 of time he had somehow traversed into the master
 bedroom, the hall way, kitchen and of course the living
 room
 As any Roomba owner knows they travel in spiral
 patterns, they bump into walls and furniture and they stop
 and spin looking for dust or hair. This built in patterning is
 truly effective in the elimination of pet hair, dust and small
 bits of debris. This patterning also seems to mimic the
 path a three year old hopped up on red bull and given an
 open full paint can, would have. If you keep the afore
 mentioned three year old in mind and substitute poop for
 paint that is what we are looking at. Roombas also have a
 small propeller like, brush attachment. This attachment
 sticks out in front of the Roomba. Its' original purpose
 appears to be reaching into corners where the round
 Roomba cannot reach. Unfortunately, this attachment
 also seems to have the ability to violate the known laws
 of physics by flinging poop in all directions, angles
 around corners, inside locked cabinets, and oddly straight
 up in the air to hit a 12 foot ceiling. So give that three year
 old a fan and let them swing it around as much as
 possible

 So back to our daughter, as she entered the house she
 was struck by a smell that could only be described as
 Cerebos's backyard after being fed Taco Bell and
 shock, she
 looked down, up and around and observed the poopy
 Pollock patterning on the walls. She immediately went
 further into the house, (where she got the strength of will
 will never know to find her phone to text her parents
 Before she could reach her phone, a poop flinging Rudy
 turned the corner and the chase was on. I don't know
 what happen in the time between our daughter being
 spotted by the poop flinging Rudy and the text message
 because she refuses to talk about it. She was able to stop
 the rampage by disabling Rudy and moving him to the
 backyard. After which she sent the text. I do have a theory
 on why she sent the "floors are dead" text. She being a
 normal 10 year girl has yet to witness anything close to
 the atrocity she saw. Given that she could only process
 the thought "the floors are dead" In hopes we would call
 and she could articulate the carnage
 Back to my wife, I didn't get all the above information until
 after the event. I was talking to my wife when she initially
 entered the house. All heard was the garage door open
 about 20 seconds of silence, a very soft "oh God" and
 then her telling me "it's bad, I'll call you back.' In her
 shock, she forgot to hang up the phone and for the next 5
 or so minutes l could hear snippets of "How did it get
 there? Why, Oh man we might need to buy a rug, we just
 put in new floors, Oh God
 arrived home at around 1830 hours. Our house smelt of
 beach and cleaning fluid. My wife and daughter both
 freshly showered, both sitting down, both having only
 what can be described as a 1000 yard stare. My wife did

 the thought "the floors are dead" In hopes we would call
 and she could articulate the carnage
 Back to my wife, I didn't get all the above information until
 after the event. was talking to my wife when she initially
 entered the house. All I heard was the garage door open
 about 20 seconds of silence, a very soft "oh God" and
 then her telling me "it's bad, l'll call you back" In her
 shock, she forgot to hang up the phone and for the next 5
 or so minutes l could hear snippets of "How did it get
 there? Why, Oh man we might need to buy a rug, we just
 put in new floors, Oh God
 arrived home at around 1830 hours. Our house smelt of
 beach and cleaning fluid. My wife and daughter both
 freshly showered, both sitting down, both having only
 what can be described as a 1000 yard stare. My wife did
 say three words, "He is outside
 tried to take Rudy apart as much as light and my
 stomach would allow. As it stands right now some of his
 parts are soaking in a solution of bleach and water. I am
 hoping through the next week l will be able to thoroughly
 clean his outsides and insides
 So if I was to rate the Roomba l would highly suggest it
 others. We love the little guy, he has cleaned our floors
 without compliant, been a source of entertainment, and
 reduces our work load with our pets
 do have to add one caveat. If you own pets only allow
 the Roomba to work while you are there. Or you will spend
 a week cleaning out at poop filled Roomba
 1,404 of 1,445 people found this review helpful
 Helpful
 Not Helpful
Another Roomba-pet-mess review.

Another Roomba-pet-mess review.

Cars, Memes, and Throwback Thursday: PFC Preston smiling while being led into a patrol car Throwback Thursday w- @zulufucxs On February 17, 1974, at 2 A.M. an Army PFC named Robert K. Preston lost his fucking mind and stole a U.S. Army Bell UH-1 helicopter from Fort Meade, Maryland and flew that motherfucker to damn Washington, D.C. YouHaveLostYourFuckingMindHardcharger OhHellFuckingNo OhIsThatRight WeJustWannaStealFuckingHelicopters GoodToFuckingGo Once he got to D.C. he yanked and banked his happy ass on over to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and hovered for six minutes over the White House. Let me say that shit one more time with some stank on it. HE HOVERED OVER THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE FOR SIX MINUTES YouGotSomeFuckingBallsOnYouKid WhoTheFuckWereHisNCOsTho After he was done smokin’ and fuckin’ jokin’ over the White House he descended on the south lawn, about 100 yards from the fucking West Wing DontMindMe LegHanginOutThePhantom No one could believe anyone would be that fucking stupid or crazy so there was no initial attempt from the Executive Protective Service to light his helicopter the fuck up so he took off and this time was chased by two Maryland State Police helicopters. Preston gorilla pimped one of the police helicopters out of the sky by maneuvering his helo like it was a fuckin’ 87 Monte Carlo on fuckin 22s TwentyTwinTwinNiiigguuhhhh and then returned to the White House. This time, as he hovered above the south grounds, the Executive Protective Service lit his ass up with shottys and sub machine guns. DamnSon ThatYoAssBoi Preston caught a little bit of that work but it didn’t really faze him and he finally landed the helo. When they took the young homie Preston into custody he said he was heated because they didn't let him continue training to fly helos so he had to show out. Pilots get mad pussy and Preston was trying to get on that level so he wanted to prove he had enough skill to earn his wings. OkIseeYouPreston GoodInitiativeBadJudgement He spent 1 year in prison, got fined $2400, received a general discharge and was awarded triple OG status for being the most belligerent fucking PFC in the history of the Army. OAF TBT ZeroFucks OAFNation
Cars, Memes, and Throwback Thursday: PFC Preston smiling while being
 led into a patrol car
Throwback Thursday w- @zulufucxs On February 17, 1974, at 2 A.M. an Army PFC named Robert K. Preston lost his fucking mind and stole a U.S. Army Bell UH-1 helicopter from Fort Meade, Maryland and flew that motherfucker to damn Washington, D.C. YouHaveLostYourFuckingMindHardcharger OhHellFuckingNo OhIsThatRight WeJustWannaStealFuckingHelicopters GoodToFuckingGo Once he got to D.C. he yanked and banked his happy ass on over to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and hovered for six minutes over the White House. Let me say that shit one more time with some stank on it. HE HOVERED OVER THE FUCKING WHITE HOUSE FOR SIX MINUTES YouGotSomeFuckingBallsOnYouKid WhoTheFuckWereHisNCOsTho After he was done smokin’ and fuckin’ jokin’ over the White House he descended on the south lawn, about 100 yards from the fucking West Wing DontMindMe LegHanginOutThePhantom No one could believe anyone would be that fucking stupid or crazy so there was no initial attempt from the Executive Protective Service to light his helicopter the fuck up so he took off and this time was chased by two Maryland State Police helicopters. Preston gorilla pimped one of the police helicopters out of the sky by maneuvering his helo like it was a fuckin’ 87 Monte Carlo on fuckin 22s TwentyTwinTwinNiiigguuhhhh and then returned to the White House. This time, as he hovered above the south grounds, the Executive Protective Service lit his ass up with shottys and sub machine guns. DamnSon ThatYoAssBoi Preston caught a little bit of that work but it didn’t really faze him and he finally landed the helo. When they took the young homie Preston into custody he said he was heated because they didn't let him continue training to fly helos so he had to show out. Pilots get mad pussy and Preston was trying to get on that level so he wanted to prove he had enough skill to earn his wings. OkIseeYouPreston GoodInitiativeBadJudgement He spent 1 year in prison, got fined $2400, received a general discharge and was awarded triple OG status for being the most belligerent fucking PFC in the history of the Army. OAF TBT ZeroFucks OAFNation

Throwback Thursday w- @zulufucxs On February 17, 1974, at 2 A.M. an Army PFC named Robert K. Preston lost his fucking mind and stole a U.S. ...