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You Want Me: what you want me do? float?
You Want Me: what you want me do? float?

what you want me do? float?

You Want Me: I posted a while ago about the duck I found on tinder… It’s still going, comment questions you want me to ask and I’ll post an update
You Want Me: I posted a while ago about the duck I found on tinder… It’s still going, comment questions you want me to ask and I’ll post an update

I posted a while ago about the duck I found on tinder… It’s still going, comment questions you want me to ask and I’ll post an update

You Want Me: mangum-pi: i know you want me
You Want Me: mangum-pi:

i know you want me

mangum-pi: i know you want me

You Want Me: You want me yet? by Loveali_1 MORE MEMES
You Want Me: You want me yet? by Loveali_1
MORE MEMES

You want me yet? by Loveali_1 MORE MEMES

You Want Me: What do you want me to do?
You Want Me: What do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do?

You Want Me: niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake .... ...... Jake, 27 Jake, 27 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away We may fight, but please don't try and solve the argument with regular soda. It won't take racial inequality to get me down on one knee. I prefer diet; we both know you are all the sugar I need. niftyshadesofjake University of Southern California niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona USC CLASS OF 2022 3,401 FRESHME 0% ganted Ethically granted admission APPLICATIO Jake, 29 Jake 28 O less than a mile away less than a mile away I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help I'm having trouble picking a costume. Want to help? my future children become trojans at USC. I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically boost my chances of getting a trojan into you. Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting. Swipe right if you are a fan of getting boned. niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona .. let 6'0" A Caded in 5'6" 5'0" your cave of wonders POLICE DEPT. 4'6" (480) 627-9186 4'0" Yes Please Jake Arredondo 3'6" Jake, 29 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away O less than a mile away Tired of guys lying about their height? Here is government proof I am at least 6ft. I promise that it will take more than a few rubs for anything to come out of my magic lamp. For our first date, you cook our dinner, and I will cook the meth. niftyshadesofjake niftyshadesofjake Scottsdale, Arizona You ok Jake, 29 Still Single O less than a mile away Jake, 27 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell). I can relate to the current bachelor. I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should probably start taking dating seriously. Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me. Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart. If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just swipe left. This is the first one I had ever created (bad quality). This joke took 1,000+ hours to máke. niftyshadesofjake et niftyshadesofjake Hmargemadders.com Make America Accessible Again Jake, 24 Jake, 29 O less than a mile away About Jake I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my new company, Largeladders.com If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want me to pay for dinner Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into your arms. It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.
You Want Me: niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 ....
 ......
 Jake, 27
 Jake, 27
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 We may fight, but please don't try and solve
 the argument with regular soda.
 It won't take racial inequality to get me down
 on one knee.
 I prefer diet; we both know you are all the
 sugar I need.
 niftyshadesofjake
 University of Southern California
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 USC CLASS OF 2022
 3,401
 FRESHME
 0% ganted
 Ethically
 granted
 admission
 APPLICATIO
 Jake, 29
 Jake 28
 O less than a mile away
 less than a mile away
 I'm not a celebrity. I don't have $500,000 to help
 I'm having trouble picking a costume.
 Want to help?
 my future children become trojans at USC.
 I am a gentlemen. I have $50 for dinner to ethically
 boost my chances of getting a trojan into you.
 Swipe left if you are a fan of ghosting.
 Swipe right if you are a fan of getting
 boned.
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 ..
 let
 6'0"
 A Caded in
 5'6"
 5'0"
 your cave of wonders
 POLICE DEPT.
 4'6"
 (480) 627-9186
 4'0"
 Yes Please
 Jake Arredondo
 3'6"
 Jake, 29
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 O less than a mile away
 Tired of guys lying about their height?
 Here is government proof I am at least 6ft.
 I promise that it will take more than
 a few rubs for anything to come out
 of my magic lamp.
 For our first date, you cook our dinner,
 and I will cook the meth.
 niftyshadesofjake
 niftyshadesofjake
 Scottsdale, Arizona
 You ok
 Jake, 29
 Still
 Single
 O less than a mile away
 Jake, 27
 As a born-again virgin (3-month dry spell).
 I can relate to the current bachelor.
 I was feeling 22, but really I am 27 and should
 probably start taking dating seriously.
 Swipe right. I too am willing to wait on putting the
 Pin the V, until I am sure about you and me.
 Swipe right to fill the blank space in my heart.
 If you aren't looking for a love story, baby just
 swipe left.
 This is the first one I had
 ever created (bad quality).
 This joke took 1,000+ hours
 to máke.
 niftyshadesofjake
 et niftyshadesofjake
 Hmargemadders.com
 Make America Accessible Again
 Jake, 24
 Jake, 29
 O less than a mile away
 About Jake
 I am 50% hispanic, so our love could very well be separated
 by Trump's wall. This is why I am proud to announce my
 new company, Largeladders.com
 If we are to go on a date you must wear sandals. No
 socks. I am pro house elf slavery and i cannot risk
 gving my elf his freedom. Furthermore, ifu need me
 to drive, I will have dobby pull me on my scooter and
 you may ride pigty-back style I do this for the
 envronment. Bring your nice flip flops if you want
 me to pay for dinner
 Political oppression might keep us down, but with my new
 ladder company, I will have a way to climb right back into
 your arms.
It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

It’s the end of a decade. I’m close to 100 profiles. Here are my favorites from the last 6 years of making them.

You Want Me: Tos pm Telstra 0 Can your job pay trom my crack addiction. Il be your friend or A more if you want to? Only if my repayment is you fuel my crack addiction My address is 122 Thomas St. Dandenong Vic 3175 So how did you want me to sneak in?l assume they've got guards around the place Dress up as a ninja turtle and tell them your here to entertain me And than give me my crack so we can smoke together. I know a place Send Typea esage 705 pm Telstra 0 Okay but which one?1 think if came as the wrong one it' blow our cover Attention to detail is how we pull this off Raphaet Iike em tough Rough Only if I can tie you up using my red face mask smoke your pipe if you do go through with tying me up. And maybe even do more if you play your moves correctly In that case when do you want me there by Tre eage Send Tatatre 40 708 pm 3am wear your best jocks Kidding me?i won't be weanng any Much better expect you to be already undressed when t get there as we may heed to move quickly I only fuck with socks on. Miss me with that gay shit m I can work with that Remember though for payment t need my fair share of your crack I thought your bringing the crack Type mesage Send Teletra 0 106 pm bring the crack But i want your ass as my payment Oh you'll have that in spades Perfect. Sounds lika a fine date to me see you there So who are you really Lmao Some bloke on her tryn to catfish some mother fuckers I'm a Nigerian prince just here to have some fun Typeeage Send Telstre 40 706 pm 12% Must be pretty rich then d Are you actually addicted to crack? Fuck no. Woukdr't even have the taintest of idea of where to get it Are you? I got peer pressured to smoke sum in year 7 haven't been the same since Should definitely see someone bout it Shit fucks your ife up which I'm sure you've found out Ive been clean for about 3 years now but considered doing it A again after my recent break up Tye a meage Send Tatutre 40 708 pm now Dur consIoerea aong it again after my recent break up Nah nah don't do it. 3 years is an accomplishment a lot of peosle dream of achieving Honestly, if that's actualy you in that photo (which r'm highly doubiting nether less), they're missing out big time. Thank you for our conversation. You're a genuine guy and I hope you do find someone who likes you for you. Don't give up on love! Thank you very much, appreciate that Good luck with everything for you ype age Send Don’t do crack kids
You Want Me: Tos pm
 Telstra 0
 Can your job pay trom my crack
 addiction. Il be your friend or
 A more if you want to?
 Only if my repayment is you fuel
 my crack addiction
 My address is 122 Thomas St.
 Dandenong Vic 3175
 So how did you want me to sneak
 in?l assume they've got guards
 around the place
 Dress up as a ninja turtle and tell
 them your here to entertain me
 And than give me my crack so
 we can smoke together. I know a
 place
 Send
 Typea esage
 705 pm
 Telstra 0
 Okay but which one?1 think if
 came as the wrong one it' blow
 our cover
 Attention to detail is how we pull
 this off
 Raphaet Iike em tough
 Rough
 Only if I can tie you up using my
 red face mask
 smoke your pipe if you do go
 through with tying me up. And
 maybe even do more if you play
 your moves correctly
 In that case when do you want
 me there by
 Tre eage
 Send
 Tatatre 40
 708 pm
 3am wear your best jocks
 Kidding me?i won't be weanng
 any
 Much better
 expect you to be already
 undressed when t get there as
 we may heed to move quickly
 I only fuck with socks on. Miss
 me with that gay shit
 m
 I can work with that
 Remember though for payment t
 need my fair share of your crack
 I thought your bringing the crack
 Type mesage
 Send
 Teletra 0
 106 pm
 bring the crack
 But i want your ass as my
 payment
 Oh you'll have that in spades
 Perfect. Sounds lika a fine date
 to me
 see you there
 So who are you really Lmao
 Some bloke on her tryn to
 catfish some mother fuckers
 I'm a Nigerian prince just here to
 have some fun
 Typeeage
 Send
 Telstre 40
 706 pm
 12%
 Must be pretty rich then d
 Are you actually addicted to
 crack?
 Fuck no. Woukdr't even have the
 taintest of idea of where to get it
 Are you?
 I got peer pressured to smoke
 sum in year 7 haven't been the
 same since
 Should definitely see someone
 bout it Shit fucks your ife up
 which I'm sure you've found out
 Ive been clean for about 3 years
 now but considered doing it
 A again after my recent break up
 Tye a meage
 Send
 Tatutre 40
 708 pm
 now Dur consIoerea aong it
 again after my recent break up
 Nah nah don't do it. 3 years is an
 accomplishment a lot of peosle
 dream of achieving
 Honestly, if that's actualy you in
 that photo (which r'm highly
 doubiting nether less), they're
 missing out big time.
 Thank you for our conversation.
 You're a genuine guy and I hope
 you do find someone who likes
 you for you. Don't give up on
 love!
 Thank you very much,
 appreciate that
 Good luck with everything for
 you
 ype age
 Send
Don’t do crack kids

Don’t do crack kids

You Want Me: Like I used to be." THIS WAS THE BEST THANKSGIVING EVER WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU STAY, HONEY I KINDA DON'T WANNA LEAVE BUT YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON TO THE NEXT PERFORMANCE I'M SURE THE CIRCUS WILL BE BACK IN TOWN NEXT YEAR. WHEN IT IS, OUR HOME is YOUR HOME. ు PROMISE? OF COURSE, I DO, SWEETIE I'M AFRAID NOT, RICHARD. IT WAS OUR DAUGHTER'S FAVORITE VExy FuOLY OMe SHE'S WAITING FOR THE DAY WHEN SHE CAN PASS IT ON TO SOMEONE SPECIAL THE BOOK WAS GREAT. CAN I КЕЁР IT? "КАУ. ViExY FROAL T've been thinking about them a lot, Dr. Haas. My parents were killed before we got to go back "They're long dead now I'm sure, but I wish I'd seen them again. "They were kind and decent. Even more important, they were family." WELL DONE IT MAУ TАKE YEARS, BUT WE ARE PERFECTLY POSITIONED FOR THE DAY... .WHEN RICHARD GRAYSON 1S OURS. "WAYNE WILL NEVER LET GO OF YOU IF YOU STAY IN GOTHAM. YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE? MY ONLY GOAL IS YOUR HEALTH AND HAPPINESS. PUT ASIDE THE IDEA OF RECOVERINGA LIFE YOU CAN'T REMEMBER... THERE'S LITTLE TO KEEP YOU HERE AND YOUR FRUSTRATION IS OBVIOUS. ...AND FOCUS ON BUILDINGA NEW LIFE. SO, WHY NOT START IN A PLACE THAT DOES MEAN SOMETHING? SOMEPLACE LIKE... МАУВЕ THIS WILL HELP YOU CONNECT WITH HAPPIER TIMES. ...BLÜDHAVEN IS THAT--P! I ALSO HAD IT AS A CHILD. KVERY FAADIY OWL WOW THANK YOU! THE IT'S JUST LIKE I REMEMBER IT! BUT, uh... DON'T YOU THINK I'M A LITTLE OLD FOR IT? NO ONE IS EVER TOO OLD TO LET THE BEST MOMENTS OF THEIR CHILDHOOD BE THEIR GUIDE. YOU CAN THANK ME BY CREATING A VIBRANT NEW LIFE FOR YOURSELF IF I KNOW WAYNE, HE HAS CONTACTS ON STAFF GOODBYE, RICHARD. I'LL BE IN TOUCH YOU WERE LISTENING? IT'LL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO DISAPPEAR IF YOU DON'T SIGN OUT. I OWE YOU MORE THAN I CAN EVER REPAY, DR. HAAS THANK YOU. OF COURSE YOUR DRUG REGIMEN AND PSYCHOLOGICAL MANIPULATION BURIED GRAYSON'S MEMORY AND LEFT HIM RIGHT WHERE WE WANT HIM WELL DONE, DOCTOR. THERE'S MORE TO BE DONE, OF COURSE BUT THE DICK GRAYSON OF THE PAST... IS GONE FOREVER. "HE'S RICHARD GRAYSON NOW, A FRESH LUMP OF CLAY, WAITING TO BE MOLDED INTO WHATEVER WE WANT "NOTIFY СОВВ. Blüdhaven 45 mi LET HIM KNOW THAT THE TIME TO MOVE IS ALMOST HERE... ..AND THAT HIS GREAT- GRANDSON WILL SOON BE HIS." why-i-love-comics: Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore
You Want Me: Like I used
 to be."
 THIS WAS
 THE BEST
 THANKSGIVING
 EVER
 WE'D LOVE
 TO HAVE YOU
 STAY, HONEY
 I KINDA
 DON'T WANNA
 LEAVE
 BUT YOU HAVE TO
 MOVE ON TO THE NEXT
 PERFORMANCE
 I'M
 SURE THE
 CIRCUS WILL
 BE BACK IN
 TOWN NEXT
 YEAR.
 WHEN IT IS,
 OUR HOME is
 YOUR HOME.
 ు

 PROMISE?
 OF
 COURSE, I DO,
 SWEETIE
 I'M AFRAID NOT,
 RICHARD. IT WAS
 OUR DAUGHTER'S
 FAVORITE
 VExy FuOLY
 OMe
 SHE'S
 WAITING FOR
 THE DAY WHEN
 SHE CAN PASS IT
 ON TO SOMEONE
 SPECIAL
 THE BOOK
 WAS GREAT.
 CAN I
 КЕЁР IT?
 "КАУ.
 ViExY FROAL
 T've been thinking
 about them a lot,
 Dr. Haas.
 My parents were
 killed before we
 got to go back
 "They're long dead
 now I'm sure, but
 I wish I'd seen
 them again.
 "They were kind
 and decent.
 Even more
 important, they
 were family."
 WELL
 DONE
 IT MAУ TАKE
 YEARS, BUT WE
 ARE PERFECTLY
 POSITIONED FOR
 THE DAY...

 .WHEN
 RICHARD
 GRAYSON 1S
 OURS.
 "WAYNE WILL
 NEVER LET GO OF
 YOU IF YOU STAY
 IN GOTHAM.
 YOU WANT ME
 TO LEAVE?
 MY ONLY GOAL IS
 YOUR HEALTH AND
 HAPPINESS.
 PUT ASIDE
 THE IDEA OF
 RECOVERINGA
 LIFE YOU CAN'T
 REMEMBER...
 THERE'S LITTLE TO
 KEEP YOU HERE AND
 YOUR FRUSTRATION
 IS OBVIOUS.
 ...AND FOCUS
 ON BUILDINGA
 NEW LIFE.
 SO, WHY NOT
 START IN A PLACE
 THAT DOES MEAN
 SOMETHING?
 SOMEPLACE
 LIKE...
 МАУВЕ
 THIS WILL HELP
 YOU CONNECT
 WITH HAPPIER
 TIMES.
 ...BLÜDHAVEN
 IS
 THAT--P!
 I ALSO
 HAD IT AS
 A CHILD.
 KVERY FAADIY
 OWL
 WOW
 THANK
 YOU!
 THE
 IT'S
 JUST LIKE I
 REMEMBER
 IT!
 BUT, uh...
 DON'T YOU THINK
 I'M A LITTLE OLD
 FOR IT?

 NO ONE IS
 EVER TOO OLD
 TO LET THE BEST
 MOMENTS OF THEIR
 CHILDHOOD BE
 THEIR GUIDE.
 YOU CAN THANK
 ME BY CREATING A
 VIBRANT NEW LIFE
 FOR YOURSELF
 IF I KNOW
 WAYNE, HE HAS
 CONTACTS ON
 STAFF
 GOODBYE,
 RICHARD.
 I'LL BE IN
 TOUCH
 YOU WERE
 LISTENING?
 IT'LL BE
 EASIER FOR YOU
 TO DISAPPEAR
 IF YOU DON'T
 SIGN OUT.
 I OWE YOU
 MORE THAN
 I CAN EVER
 REPAY, DR.
 HAAS
 THANK
 YOU.
 OF
 COURSE
 YOUR DRUG REGIMEN
 AND PSYCHOLOGICAL
 MANIPULATION BURIED
 GRAYSON'S MEMORY
 AND LEFT HIM RIGHT
 WHERE WE WANT
 HIM
 WELL DONE,
 DOCTOR.
 THERE'S
 MORE TO BE
 DONE, OF
 COURSE
 BUT
 THE DICK
 GRAYSON OF
 THE PAST...

 IS GONE
 FOREVER.
 "HE'S RICHARD
 GRAYSON NOW, A FRESH
 LUMP OF CLAY, WAITING
 TO BE MOLDED INTO
 WHATEVER WE WANT
 "NOTIFY
 СОВВ.
 Blüdhaven
 45 mi
 LET HIM KNOW THAT
 THE TIME TO MOVE IS
 ALMOST HERE...
 ..AND THAT
 HIS GREAT-
 GRANDSON WILL
 SOON BE HIS."
why-i-love-comics:

Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore

why-i-love-comics: Nightwing Annual #2 - “The Very Friendly Owl” (2019)written by Dan Jurgensart by Travis Moore

You Want Me: I can build an inpenetratable wall around Asgard. Only thing I want as payment is the goddess of love, Freya.. Okay everybody, calm down. This isn't the first time a jotun wanted me for his bride I'm used to this problem by now and we just gotta- and the beautiful Sun and sexy Moon. YOU WANT ME AS PART OF A HAREM!!?!?! I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISRESPECTED!!!! systlin: would-we-be-friends-if-i: thehmn: In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themselves and a jotun only known as The Builder offers to make it in exchange for Freya, Sun and Moon. Freya gets rightfully pissed and refuses (no word on Sun or Moon’s feelings about this), so Loki turns into a female horse and lures The Builder’s horse away, causing all work on the wall to stop. Because he can’t finish the wall The Builder has to leave without Freya, Sun and Moon. Loki disappears for 9 nine months and returns with an eight-legged foal (yes, he had sex with the horse and got pregnant. I know you all love that part). The end. For some reason people often leave out that The Builder wanted Sun and Moon too, and English translations often translate it to “the sun and moon” as if he wanted the heavenly bodies, but no, he wanted the goddess and god responsible for said heavenly bodies. He absolutely intended to have sex with all of them which is why a lot of translations leave out Moon because ew that’s gay. Freya didn’t want to marry a Jotun, let alone as part of a god damn harem me thinks. Hoooold up are you telling me the Sun is female in Norse myth? Cuz its usually male, across other mythology. Yep. Mani is the god of the moon, and Sol is the goddess of the sun in Norse myth.
You Want Me: I can build an inpenetratable wall
 around Asgard. Only thing I want as payment
 is the goddess of love, Freya..
 Okay everybody, calm down.
 This isn't the first time a jotun
 wanted me for his bride
 I'm used to this problem by
 now and we just gotta-
 and the beautiful Sun and sexy Moon.

 YOU WANT ME AS PART OF A HAREM!!?!?!
 I'VE NEVER BEEN SO DISRESPECTED!!!!
systlin:
would-we-be-friends-if-i:

thehmn:

In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect themselves and a jotun only known as The Builder offers to make it in exchange for Freya, Sun and Moon. Freya gets rightfully pissed and refuses (no word on Sun or Moon’s feelings about this), so Loki turns into a female horse and lures The Builder’s horse away, causing all work on the wall to stop. Because he can’t finish the wall The Builder has to leave without Freya, Sun and Moon. Loki disappears for 9 nine months and returns with an eight-legged foal (yes, he had sex with the horse and got pregnant. I know you all love that part). The end.
For some reason people often leave out that The Builder wanted Sun and Moon too, and English translations often translate it to “the sun and moon” as if he wanted the heavenly bodies, but no, he wanted the goddess and god responsible for said heavenly bodies. He absolutely intended to have sex with all of them which is why a lot of translations leave out Moon because ew that’s gay.
Freya didn’t want to marry a Jotun, let alone as part of a god damn harem me thinks.


Hoooold up are you telling me the Sun is female in Norse myth? Cuz its usually male, across other mythology. 

Yep. Mani is the god of the moon, and Sol is the goddess of the sun in Norse myth.

systlin: would-we-be-friends-if-i: thehmn: In case you don’t know this story, the Norse gods wanted a wall around Asgard to protect the...